Wendy suddenly awoke with a startle; hoping, begging, and praying that the whole camera situation was just a bad dream her mind had come up with. That she had just awoken in her room and it was still concert day, and in an hour or so she would have to accompany Jennie to the venue. She was terrified and her heart was pounding in her ears. Looking around, she was surrounded by nothing but pitch darkness, a faint light shone through the window and lit up the place barely enough for her to register where she was, and that was when all hope collapsed and she fell to her knees sobbing into her hands. What she had dreaded most had finally happened, she was in her old room, exactly as she had left it. She didn’t know how long she sat on the floor weeping, it could’ve been minutes, hours, hell even days at this point. She was too exhausted both mentally and physically by the time she finally stopped her tears from falling. Slowly getting up, she reached a trembling hand over to her phone and turned it on, the sharpness of the light hurt her eyes and she immediately looked away groaning at the sudden pain. Her eyes finally settled and she was able to see clearly, her gaze hovering over the digits indicating the date, causing her to inhale sharply. It was the night of the same day she ran away from her landlord, the same day she closed her eyes and was suddenly transported to that bright new world. Learning this brought upon a new wave of despair, it was almost like none of it was real, none of her experiences or emotions were real. It was only a stupid dream, now nothing more than a memory of happiness in this world of sorrow of hers. What was she supposed to do now? As she repeated this question in her head over and over again, her eyelids slowly grew heavier and a dreamless slumber soon followed after. 

A soft ray of light filtered through her blinds as Wendy’s eyelids fluttered open. She looked around once more and realized that it really was her little tiny apartment, but what truly surprised her was the fact that she woke up peacefully. No loud knocking on the door and no angry screams of an angry landlord waiting for her payment. To be honest, she had fully expected to find herself evicted and sleeping outside by now. These questions prompted her to seek answers, and while she didn’t feel like moving at all after everything that had happened, she needed to keep going. She can stay on her bed and weep about some fake -- can she really call it that? -- dreams all she wants, but that wasn’t going to take her anywhere, the world was never going to stop for her, so she wasn’t going to stop. Since she had no idea how to move forward from everything that had happened, she thought that maybe finding an answer may lead her somewhere.   

She quickly freshened up and went out to her landlord’s apartment, fully expecting to be kicked out with a shout and an eviction notice. After knocking a few times, she was met face-to-face with her landlord, her reaction, however, was completely unexpected. She was smiling at Wendy and even tried offering that she comes in and eat some cookies, but Wendy politely declined the offer and started apologizing profusely, even asking for a few days before she completely packs her stuff up and leaves the apartment. Her landlord looked at her in confusion, “You don’t have to go anywhere. Your rent has been paid fully.” Wendy immediately rises from her bow and stares at the lady in bewilderment, “If I didn’t pay it, then who did?” The old lady smile at her and described the person who had visited her really early this morning demanding that she pays Wendy’s rent for her. “She was a beautiful girl with light hair. She was very friendly and smiled a lot. I think she introduced herself as Souji--, no wait, maybe it was Seully? I don’t quite remember, but she was adamant about the rent, especially when I told her that I was evicting you.” Wendy winced at that last statement, but her heart soared at the mention of the person that the old woman had mentioned, she knew exactly who it was. She felt an overwhelming avalanche of emotion attack her at that moment, Seulgi was still looking out for her even after everything. She was more than willing to help her, even when Wendy refused to look into her eyes. In this moment, it was a lot more than Wendy could handle. Was she the one standing in their relationship? She could have sworn that Seulgi hated her, but what if she had seen it all wrong? “Excuse me, did she by any chance leave her phone number with you?” Wendy had to check, it was now or never. If there was no phone number, then she was going out to search the streets of Seoul for her best friend. “As a matter of fact, she did. I asked her for it, just in case you decided not to pay your rent and chose to run away again,” the old woman answered with a smile, but Wendy could hear the seriousness behind her words. The woman took out a paper and wrote the number before handing it to Wendy, who quickly thanked her and half-ran to her apartment downstairs.   

Wendy shut the door behind her, and with shaky fingers, she entered the numbers into her phone. Seulgi had changed her phone number and that was part of the reason why Wendy assumed that she was being cut off. She hesitated for a moment before clicking the call button, was this really the right move? Did Seulgi even want to talk to her? Well, she wouldn’t know until she tried, right? With one last deep breath, she clicked the button and raised the phone to her ear. As every ringtone flowed into her ear, she was starting to regret her decision, maybe she shouldn’t have done this. As dark thoughts played into her mind and she was about to end the call, a soft mellow voice snapped her out of it. 

“Hello? Who is this?”

Wendy was about to choke up. She hadn’t heard this voice in such a long while, and her emotions were overwhelming her all over again.

“Hello??”

“Is anybody there? I hear you breathing.”

“Seulgi?” Wendy finally called out, her voice breaking at the end, and the line went silent. A few moments passed and Wendy had to check that Seulgi hadn’t hung up on her. 

“Wendy? Is that really you?”

“Yes. Yes, it is me, Seulgi.”

“Oh Wendy, I never thought you’d call.”

“Me neither, to be honest. But I heard about what you did.”

“Yeah. Listen, are you willing to meet up with me today?”

Oh no, this was definitely a bad idea. Wendy didn’t really know where this conversation was going to go when she decided to call. She just really wanted to hear Seulgi’s voice again, but this was dangerous territory. She didn’t whether she was prepared to see her best friend again. She didn’t want to see the way Seulgi will look at her, how she will notice the dark circles around her eyes, or how she had lost a lot of weight since the last time they met. But most importantly, she didn’t want to hear or see Seulgi’s pity. She hated that. Yet, before she could stop herself, moved on its own, “Yes.”

“I’ll send you the time and the address…. I want to see you again, Wendy.”

With that, the line ended and Wendy was left to her own thoughts again. Her mind repeated that last line over and over again, I want to see you again. Seulgi wanted to see her, did she miss her as much as Wendy had missed her? Her phone buzzed with a message and she looked to see that it was Seugli’s number with a place and a time. When her eyes scanned over the information, a surge of warmth went through her body. Seulgi had picked their favorite restaurant, the one they always went to together. 

She twiddled the hem of her shirt as she slowly approached their meeting place. She didn’t know what to expect or how to feel, she was definitely excited to meet Seulgi, her Seulgi, after all this time, but she was also drowning in anxiousness. With every step closer, her heart would beat faster and her steps were getting slower and slower until she stopped in front of the door. She stared at the sign, it looks exactly the same since all this time, and this gave her a sense of relief, she felt grounded with how nothing appeared to have changed at all. “Not going in?” A voice piped behind her, causing her to flinch and her head snapped back toward the source. She was ready to give this person a piece of her mind until she was met with familiar brown eyes that stared at her with a gentleness that Wendy couldn’t quite fathom. Seulgi was standing in front of her with a soft small smile and a calm expression, and Wendy didn’t know what to do, should she shake her hand, or maybe hug her? God, she really wanted to hug her, but it just didn’t seem right. So, she resorted to a small wave and an awkward, “Hi Seulgi” before quickly staring at the ground. Seulgi released a huff of air, which Wendy could only assume to be frustration, “Oh for the love of god, I finally get to meet you after all this time and this is all you do?” Wendy raised her eyes to give Seulgi a confused look before she was engulfed in what she could call the warmest embrace she could ever imagine. It took a few seconds for Wendy to register what had happened and the moment she realized that Seulgi had hugged her, the dam in her eyes broke and her tears were flowing out freely. She didn’t have the energy to stop her tears, and her emotional exhaustion was catching up to her, so she did what she wanted to do for a while and held onto Seulgi tightly because this time, she never wanted to let go. 

It took Wendy a few moments to pull herself together, and when she did, Seulgi led her into the place by the hand, quietly striding over to what used to be their usual table and sat her down. The waitress passed by and welcomed them by filling their cups with water and Seulgi ordered for the both of them. Wendy sniffled and gave Seugli a small smile, “You still remember my favorite dish?” Seulgi grimaced slightly at Wendy’s statement, “I never forgot, Wendy.” Wendy could only stare back at her in astonishment, “Well, surely it was just a lucky guess. You couldn’t have remembered it just like that.” Seulgi stared into her eyes with worry, Wendy’s denial was slowly starting to get to her but she didn’t know why she was holding onto that idea. The two sat in silence for a while before the waitress brought out the food and placed it in front of them. After she left, Seulgi sighed, “I’m serious Wendy. I never forgot. I remember your favorite, places, foods, drinks, and even the fact that you enjoy watching the rain but only when you’re inside. I could never forget anything about you, you were my best friend, after all.” Wendy’s fingers clenched into a fist underneath the table and she tried her best to keep her composure, with a shaky breath she finally asked, “If you never forgot, then why did leave me behind? If you never forgot about me, why did you let me drown in loneliness all this time while bearing the crushing weight of my guilt? You say you were my best friend, yet you still left me when I needed you most.” Wendy barely managed to let that final sentence out before she choked on her tears and sent Seulgi a look filled with pain and blame. Seulgi sighed once more, this conversation was getting as messy as she had imagined, but she needed to answer her honestly in order for the both of them to overcome this together.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Wendy. I was angry at you after the accident. No, I was enraged. I couldn’t believe that you of all people would commit such a grave mistake. Irene was one of us, she was a part of our family, and yet because of you, she was gone forever. I was blinded by my anger and sadness, and the only way to deal with my despair was to blame you. So, I let go of our friendship at some point along the way until I could finally stand to see you again.” Wendy stayed silent, quietly listening to Seulgi’s story. She had nothing to say to her since Seulgi had all the right to be mad at her. Her mistake had been grave, it left a scar on all of them after Irene’s disappearance. Seulgi cleared , catching Wendy’s attention again, “But, after a while, I realized how much of a mistake that was because you were the one who suffered the most that day. By the time I attempted to reach out, you were already drowning in your own pool of misery, and whenever we got too close, you kept pushing us away. I was desperately trying to reach you Wendy, but by the time I finally managed to do so, the girl I had known as Wendy was long gone, and in her place was just the husk of the girl she used to be. Ever since then, I blamed myself for allowing you to lose yourself like this. I admit I was in the wrong, but I never gave up on you and now, here we are.”

Seulgi looked up at Wendy after her long explanation and noticed the silent tears traveling down her cheeks. With a heavy sigh, she took a napkin and pressed it onto Wendy’s face in an attempt to dry her face, but Wendy caught her outstretched arm and pulled Seulgi into her. The hug was awkward and painful because there was a table with food between the two, but Wendy didn’t care, her heart felt full after hearing Seulgi’s explanation, and things started to make sense. At the end of the day, everyone was at fault, and now it was time to move on from that, in order to begin their process of healing. They were good people who lost their way. They had suffered enough. “I forgive you, Seulgi,” Wendy mumbled through the tears, “Would you forgive me?” The hands around her tightened and she could feel the little nod coming from Seulgi next to her, “I do.”

After that day, Wendy experienced many changes in her life. She had managed to rebuild her relationship with Seulgi, while the two were still awkward, they were working on it. In addition, she was able to reach Joy, whom Seulgi was still in contact with, and the two had worked out their problems with Seulgi supporting Wendy. Wendy was also adamant about paying Seulgi back for her kindness, and in order to do so, she finally landed a job that paid well and was flexible enough to work with her schedule. For once, Wendy didn’t feel like drowning in darkness, she was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Things were going well for her and she planned to keep it that way. As she stood with white flowers in her hands and recited the recent changes in her life, she knelt down by the headstone and smiled. “And it’s all because of you. Thank you for everything, Irene. I miss you a lot all the time,” Wendy wiped a stray tear, “I carry you in my heart everywhere. I still love you and I always will. Now, please rest easy.” Wendy placed the flowers next to the stone and walked away. 

On her way back, she noticed that the Jennie poster she had first seen was still up. Funny how she used to see her every day, and now she can only see her in pictures and on billboards. Her heart ached for Jennie, they never got to have the conversation after the concert, and their relationship had only just ignited, but now there was nothing there. Just Wendy and her empty heart. How was she even supposed to get close to Jennie, or better yet, meet her? She’d immediately be kicked out and labeled as a crazed fan or something. So, she stood there for god knows how long and stared at the billboard, remembering everything she experienced with Jennie, from her shy smiles to her confident dance moves. It all played in her head like a movie and she held onto it tightly, she’ll never let herself forget. As the days went by and the seasons began to change, Wendy continued to stop and look at Jennie’s face whenever she passed by that same billboard. She was confused as to why it was still there, but she just assumed that there was no point in removing the poster as the people loved Jennie, she was their idol. However, her beliefs were proved wrong when one day she saw a couple of workers taking it down ad placing a new advertisement in Jennie’s stead. Her heart hurt as she watched them remove it bit by bit, “I really will miss you, Jennie,” she sighed. 

“Really? It wasn’t the best of my pictures.” Wendy flinched at the new yet familiar voice behind her, she turned around inhumanely quickly to make sure that it wasn’t her imagination, and lo and behold, it was none other than Jennie herself standing there in all her glory looking at the exact same billboard as she was and giving her one of her cute smiles. Sadly for Wendy, there was no glint of familiarity in her eyes, and she clearly only thought of Wendy as just another fan, but Wendy didn’t care, Jennie was in front of her in the flesh, and god did she miss that face. So, she did the unthinkable and uttered with her brightest smile, “Are you by any chance looking for a manager?” She was met with one of Jennie’s most genuine gummy smiles, “How did you know?”

The End