She stood outside the hospital room motionlessly. Everybody else was inside but her feet stayed glued to the ground; unsure if she should follow suit.

Because she knew if she took one step inside the room, her heart wouldn’t be able to take it seeing him lying there helplessly.

But this would probably be her last chance, her last few moments with him.

And that was exactly why she didn’t want to be there anymore, she wanted to get away from him. Far away from everything.

Just then she heard the door creaked open and her father appeared beside her.

“Hyo Min, Jun Ho’s asking for you.”

She stared up ahead, not answering immediately. She fidgeted with the hem of her blouse, refusing to meet her father’s concern eyes. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be fine but he could never lie to his daughter.

“He really wishes to see you now Hyo Min. Don’t let him down,” he tried again gently.

Slowly she dropped her hands to her side and took a deep breath. As she was about to enter the room, her hand froze on the door handle.

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“You have to be strong Hyo Min. For yourself, and also Jun Ho,” she heard her father saying from behind.

With a heavy heart, she pushed open the door and braced herself for the worst.

But when she stepped inside and saw him lying there on the bed, his face brightening up immediately at the sight of her presence; she forgot all of the reasons for her sadness and pain.

Because he was her happiness, her everything. The reason why she was still sane enough to keep herself together.

She trudged slowly towards him, ignoring the concern stares she was getting from the others who were in the same room. With him there right in front of her, everything and everyone else seems to disappear.

“Jun Ho,” she said in a stage whisper as she set herself down at the edge of his bed.

“Why are you sitting so far away from me? Am I that scary looking?” he managed a weak grin at her, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he did so.

He could still joke with her and make an effort to warm her up with his lovable smile. What was she doing? Showing him a frown? Sulking?

“Come here,” he said as he tugged at her hand. “Sit here with me.”

Hyo Min did as she was told, hearing the others whispering among themselves from behind her.

“Jun Ho-ah, we go out first okay? Hyo Min will stay here to accompany you,” his mother interrupted the moment.

Jun Ho just nodded in acknowledgement as the rest of them left the room one by one.

Hyo Min caught his brother’s eye as he was about to leave the room.

Joon was probably hurting just as much as her, he really dotes on Jun Ho; his only brother. And it’s killing him, not being able to stop this thing which was hurting his dongsaeng physically.

Hyo Min’s POV

I just stared at Jun Ho’s pale stricken face as he laid there in front of me with all those wires attached to him. I felt something pressing onto my hand as he held onto me; a needle.

Jun Ho hated needles; he said he’d always avoided doing medical check-ups precisely because he hated getting injected or getting his blood withdrawn out.

But lately, he didn’t have any other choice. Hate it or not, he’s grown used to being pierced by those sharp objects.

Cold. His hand was cold against mine. I clutched it tightly, hoping he would feel better from my warmth touch.

“Hyo Min,” he started.

My eyes flew back to his pale yet handsome face. Even when he has to struggle hard for every single breath, he’s still the best looking man in my eyes. And of course, with that smile still lingering on his face; it made my heart skipped many beats.

“It’s snowing now right?”

“Yes. It’s the winter season. I saw many children building snowmen,” I started a conversation to keep him awake; I didn’t want him to close his eyes.

“Really? That must be fun. Remember when we used to those things too?” he smiled at the memory. “No, you’d do them. I’ll come from behind and crash them all down.”

I let out a small chuckle, knowing well enough what he was talking about.

“We’d made them wear all those kind of silly hats. Some of your hats too,” I .

“I do not have any silly hats,” he protested lightly. “I just have a unique fashion sense.”

I brought up my right hand to his cheek, wanting to feel his smooth skin against my touch. He’s lost so much weight; I could feel it from his sharp jawline. His cheeks used to be fuller, healthier.

My heart ached, seeing him being all sick like this. He was still so young; he shouldn’t be going through all these pain.

Jun Ho reached up his hand to touch mine. He laced his fingers through mine as he brought it back down.

“Hyo Min, mianhe...”

I quickly placed a finger on his lips to stop him from continuing his sentence.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” I said softly.

“I shouldn’t have let you see me in this kind of condition,” he smiled weakly at me.

“You still look the same to me, the same Jun Ho I’ve known since 3 years ago.”

“Ah, you’re lying. There are more handsome looking guys out there now right?”

I gave him a disapproving look and he started laughing.

“Okay okay. I was just kidding! Hyo Min, what is the date today?”

“23^rd December,” I answered in a heartbeat.

“Our third year anniversary right?”

I nodded solemnly. He was right, today was our special day.

3 years of knowing Jun Ho. The 3 happiest years of my life.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything to give you today jagiya. But I have a letter for you...” he said as reached over his drawer to pull out a white envelope.

He placed in gently in my hands and closed my fingers over it.

“Don’t read it now okay. When the time comes, you can open it then.”

“What do you mean ‘when the time comes’?” I questioned him curiously.

“You will know,” he just smiled sweetly at me. “Hyo Min, my eyelids are getting heavier now. Can you keep me accompany until I fall asleep?”

No, I wanted to protest. I didn’t want him to fall asleep; he couldn’t fall out of consciousness. Every time he closes his eyes, I’m afraid I won’t be able to see his smiling face anymore the next time I wake up.

“Come here,” he said as he wrapped his frail arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

I laid my head on his built chest carefully. I could practically hear the faint sound of his heart beating. Right there and then that was the only thing I wanted to hear. It keeps me calm and at ease.

“Hyo Min?”

“Nay?” I asked without looking back up at him. I didn’t want to move, I wanted to stay in that position forever.

“Happy 3^rd Anniversary. Saranghae, Hyo Min.”

I closed my eyes, holding back my tears. He sounded so unusually calm, it worries me instead. But I chose to ignore it.

“Happy 3^rd anniversary to you too Jun Ho. Saranghae,” I whispered back to him.

He didn’t say anything else and silence filled the room.

I eventually fell asleep, still in his arms; with our fingers intertwined together.