Tears are slowly falling from her eyes. She just watched Jiwan fading away into the night.

After her confession, after the back hug what now? She still looking towards the road Jiwan took...

She was left clueless... stupid me I should have walk straight and pretend that I did not see her Stupid mouth... but my heart is aching every time she utters "I'm sorry for what I did that night" Why she needs to say sorry?

Is saying "just like me" mean nothing to her! Did she heard me saying, don't give me hope! that night... This feeling has overwhelmed her too much now.. she wanted to run... run away from everything and everyone... even to Jiwan... even if before she made up her mind not to pursue the exchange program because the thought of leaving her would be bring such pain...

She managed to go home and head back to her room. Looking at her mobile phone, she saw all the text messages she received from her that she choose to ignore.. because she was hurting so much.

Nights will be long now.... Jiwan used to say "Goodnight My Sol" "See you tomorrow" She saw the list of universities, Nabi gave her she slowly flipped it open and scan the names of universities... Her professor highlighted Zurich University of the Arts. She even sent a copy of application form of it. Is this what she really want? Is she running away from her feelings, from Jiwan, her Jiwan.

Around 2:00pm inside her professor's office, the following day.

"What brings you here, Yoon Sol? I thought you backed out already from the program" the teacher said before gulping her coffee.

"Professor, I changed my mind I want to go here! I want to study here ...." she answered and point out the pamphlet from Zurich University of the Arts. She didn't notice the glow and smile of her mentor.

"Are you serious, Yoon Sol? There's no backing out once I send your application to them! They are waiting for you since last year!" She nodded, sadly because until now she doesn't know if this is the right thing to do after what happened yesterday. She knew things will never be the same between them - her and Jiwan. She hand over her application form to the teacher!

"Professor, please keep it a secret until the day of my flight to Switzerland. My only request to you and your staff" Her teacher looked at her, as if she knew what happened.

"Yoon Sol, are you sure about this or your just forcing yourself in doing this?" she asked. She looked at her teacher, half smiled and nodded.

She drag herself out of the office and decided to head to their Shop.

Nabi was working with her piece, she noticed Jiwan was not around.

"Yoon Sol! Where is Jiwan?" Bit na asked.

"I don't know, I thought she's here the professor asked me to her office" she coldly answered.

"Maybe she's sick again like before, you know Jiwan" Nabi answered and continue on putting some clay to her piece. She started working silently. Her friends asked her to eat but she refused, they invite her to smoke but still she said no! She's holding her chisel and striking the wood so hard.

"It will break, Sol!" Nabi said. She cannot hear Nabi, her mind is flying, she has so many things to think about, her application, the program, but mostly to Jiwan. How she will react once she finds out that she is about to go to Switzerland for a year or two.

She was surprised a hand tap her shoulder. It was Nabi. "You want to talk?" she asked.

"Huh?" she responded.

"You want to talk or you want to destroy your piece for your Zurich presentation" she asked

"How did.." "I just guessed... so you're finally doing it?" Nabi asked. She nodded, put down her chisel and slump on her chair.

"Did Jiwan knows about your decision" Nabi asked. "She doesn't need to know" she answered.

"You know how much she adores you and your friendship right?" Nabi asked. "I told her!" she bursted out

"You told her what?" Nabi asked again "I like her not as friends" she admitted to Nabi.

"She told me to just like her" that night when I put her to bed. "I told her don't give me high hopes, Nabi" she confessed to her friend. Nabi hug her again and looked at her. "It didn't go well, am I right? your confession" she asked. Almost in tears Sol nodded. "Is that the reason why she's not here?"

"I don't know, Nabi. We haven't talked for days already after the retreat and will definitely not talk again because of my confession" Nabi hugged her again...

"Yoon Sol, I don't know what to say! I admire your courage I wish he was like you!" Nabi said to her.

"Yoon Sol, you still need to tell her about this big step once she appeared here again" she told Yoon Sol.

"This is what I told you before, me feeling like I'm running away but now I am really running away from this feeling, Nabi... it hurts a lot!" she said and tears are now falling from her eyes! Nabi stayed quiet just hugged her.

"I will be here, Sol! Just cry" One week had passed but still no shadow of Jiwan.

--------------

Bit na asked her to drink for the last time before she take a break to file all the needed papers.

"Here you go!" she handed her the beer and the ordered the chicken they like to eat.

"Thanks" she said. "No turning back, Sol?" she asked. Sol looked at her friend.

"No turning back now. The papers are almost complete just showing up for my visa and booking the ticket" she sadly answered.

"Did Jiwan call you already?" Bit na asked.

"No I haven't heard from her for the longest time now" she answered.

"You really looked wasted, girl without Jiwan" she blurted.

"What do you mean? Bit na" she asked her drinking buddy.

"When Jiwan is around you, there's this glow of happiness and calmness around the 2 of you, but now whenever your working as if your dragging yourself to finish your piece. Your so silent, you never join us anymore Ye Sun is worried." she said.

"I'm stressed out because of the paperworks and interview" she reasoned out. "Did you tell her already?" Bit asked again. There's long silence between them.

"I knew it! Sol she's makes you happy and you make her happy too so why not be together?"

"She told me she likes me when she's about to go wasted, I told her I like her not as friend, sober. It's the most stupid thing I said that day! I wish I never told her. We will not be like this. I'm running away not because I'm afraid but it's hurts a lot now! More than ever" she told her friend.

Bit Na stood up and held her. "Don't forget to call when you need me or Nabi" she said. "Jiwan you need to show up or it will be too late for you" Bit Na whispered. They enjoyed the night drinking until they are wasted. Bit Na called a taxi so she can go home safely that day.

Whatever she did now - drink or finish her piece, the pain in her heart is not fading and will stay for awhile now... Jiwan.... where are you? why no single call or message for almost two weeks now. I'm leaving in two weeks time... I miss you... I miss us... she cried again to her sleep....

---------------

Jiwan on her bed holding her mobile phone. It's been a week since she went to school.

Her piece is half done. She wanted to go to the workshop but the thought of seeing her breaks her.

All along she thought she just heard someone saying "I like you" before she passed out that night.

She knows she demanded something to her best friend and she heard it, she runs away... Her mind was blurred and she don't know how to respond to this feeling. Is this the one they called love...all along she's been so close to her. She missed her so much.

------------

A text message from Bit-Na arrived. "You better put your act now or regret it, Jiwan. You need to come to class! While you have the time!" she said.