The next day, I wake up with a scorching throat. It has been painful for the past few days, but I just think of it as a result of weather change, which might be resolved with some hot chrysanthemum tea. But as soon as I speak to Hyejin, who is doing her hair at the dressing table, I realize that the pain is really no joke because all I can hear is the hoarse sound that comes along with lots of painful coughing.

“Hyejin ah... My throat...hurts.”

“What's wrong with you?”

Hyejin looks startled at the unusual voice I am making. But as she sees me struggle with speaking in between of coughing, she cries out to alert Byulyi and Yongsun who are at the other areas of the house we are renting.

“Unnies! Wheeinie got sick!”

The door of my room flings open and Yongsun appears, worry shown clearly on her face. Being the oldest of the four girls - or the Mamamoo girls like we usually refer to - Yongsun is the most stable one, income-wise and occupation-wise. Living together for more than 7 years also adds up to her assumption of taking good care of the others, especially the youngest - me and Hyejin. Unlike Hyejin who is always confident and in fighting-mode, I with my past anxiety disorder does bother Yongsun a lot. Only until I started voluntary job at the center for the disabled and befriended with Hyojin did she become a bit at ease.

“Are you ok Wheein ah?”

Yongsun asks and I can smell fresh butter on her apron, she must be preparing pancakes for breakfast. Next to me, Hyejin automatically assumes the role of my spokeperson.

“She might have problem with . I think we should take her to the hospital. Her voice sounds gross.”

Is that what I want to tell Yongsun? Well, I am not so sure. But since I temporarily can't speak well, let's just be ok with that.

“Unnie” - Byul Yi is also present in my room, looking sleepy as she is working on some new songs, well, I haven't mentioned that Byul Yi is a freelancing songwriter who goes by the pen name Moonbyul. – “Should we ask Eric oppa for a ride? I mean, just to be assured...”

Not waiting for Byul Yi to finish, in a blink of the eyes, Yongsun pulls out her phone to make an early morning call. I know who she is calling - someone who can give us a free ride this early.

Eric is Yongsun's boyfriend. The other three Mamamoo girls all love him - I mean, as the big brother who is going to marry your big sister very soon. But they haven't thought of marriage despite having dated for 4 years. Yongsun usually jokes that she can't leave us alone just yet but according to Byul Yi, Yongsun is still concerning the cultural difference between them. Yongsun's family is quite traditional. Eric is, on the other hand, a Korean American and lives a Western lifestyle, though. Yet I can't deny that he is super kind and always available to help us, even if it means he must be out on the street early to take me to the hospital.

It only takes Eric half an hour to pull his car over in front of our small rent house and ring the doorbell. I love Eric for his politeness and good manner, from the littlest things. Like he never honks the car horn to signal that he has come; instead, he always escorts Yongsun from inside or just waits for her to finish dressing up. He brings us gifts all the way from the US whenever he goes there for family visits. He is willing to take the four of us on day trip if we want to without any nagging or request for personal time with Yongsun. If there's a polling for national son-in-law, I would vote for Eric. Maybe not just me, so does Byul Yi and Hyejin as they support my little joke to address Eric as brother-in-law - as if we and Yongsun are blood-related! Sadly, I won't be able to initiate the joke today, due to this painful hoarseness I am enduring.

“What’s up ladies?” – Eric walks in and naturally plants a kiss on Yongsun’s cheek. American style, we are all used to it! – “Having breakfast?”

“Of course, we are” – Hyejin replies with a big smile, her husky voice sounds even clearer than mine now – “Brother-in-law!”

“Stop joking Hyejin ah” – Yongsun warns her, but she has learnt that the joke would continue until the day Eric officially becomes the legal brother-in-law. Turning to me, she urges – “Are you done, Wheeinie? Let’s make it to the hospital early.”

I quickly finish my breakfast and then grab my personal belongings to follow Eric and Yongsun. On the way to the hospital, I submit a request for leave via the company application. The thought of my new partner and his story which promises to be such a blow does cross my mind for a split second, but I shake it off, reassuring myself that there won’t be anything too serious.

***

“Remember, don’t talk much and ask for postponing this week’s radio show, ok? Hyejin will be here this afternoon for you.”

Yongsun continuously reminds me before she leaves for her work. I beg her to hurry up as Eric is waiting but Yongsun still looks so much worried. It’s understandable, no one expects that my condition is that bad. My sore throat turns out to be vocal cord polyp, which requires me to go on a surgery. Lucky me the polyp is not serious and after the surgery, I only need to refrain from talking much for 2 weeks as well as avoiding intake of both hot food and beef! Not only will I miss the monthly payday barbecue party with the Mamamoo girls – there’s also a part for Eric, of course – am I really worried for FM The 9th Hour now. No broadcasting for two weeks with dropping number of requests, wil it be alright for me?

“Hey Jung Wheein, are you ok?”

Seulgi texts me. Gosh, I haven’t got a proper talk with her since yesterday.

“I’m fine. Just a minor surgery but I must talk less in two weeks, unnie ah.”

“Oh . What to do with the radio now?”

She still remembers the show. Thinking of that puts a small smile on my face as I text Seulgi and swipe to ignore a notification of incoming email.

“I will think of a solution. Hope people won’t forget me.”

The screen shows Seulgi is typing a message when my phone vibrates twice, signaling two new messages coming at a time.

“Whee-pup, where you at? P/S: I’m trying to hold back not to nag you right now!”

I laugh – well, even my laugh sounds abnormal. Hyojin must be trying hard not to get angry at me for not informing him that I’m hospitalized. I didn’t even mean to notify him – it was Yongsun that asked him for half-day off at the center to take me to the hospital. That only made him more agitated.

“Not a big deal oppa. I’ll be discharged tomorrow.”

“Don't belittle health problem. I’ll ask Yongsun noona and pass by during lunch time.”

I look at his determining message and stick out my lower lip. Let’s see if Kim Hyojin the operation manager has free time today, not to mention my hospital is quite far from the center. I decide to ignore him and turn to the other unread message which is from a strange number.

“Hi, didn’t see you at office today. Turn out you’re off. I sent you the draft script, take a look and let me know your feedback!”

“Ah by the way, Kim Taehyung here.”

“Ahhhh…btw…Save my number!”

I switch to my mailbox. So, the email whose notification was dismissed is from Taehyung. I can’t help wowing at his prompt response, feeling a bit guilty for having assumed that he would not take responsibility and complete the task with proactiveness. I open the attachment for a scan. And can’t help wowing once more.

“Hi Taehyung. That’s a superb job of yours. I can easily imagine how the story goes only with your writing!”

That’s a genuine compliment. If I were Taehyung, being totally new at a field which even doesn’t yield an additional penny to my payslip, I doubt that I would be that professional to put enormous amount of effort in writing such a story and submit in a short time. Much less he must have spent time learning radio scriptwriting as it doesn’t sound like a piece of script from newbie.

“Oh no prob” - He quickly replies as if he is waiting for my message. - “Let’s say it’s the power of conspiracy theories. Haha. But when are we going to do the recording? Or we do it live? We'd better have it on air this Friday as Week of Appreciation is next Monday."

His message rings an alarm to me. Week of Appreciation is the annual occasion where Purple Line employees are encouraged to express their appreciation to colleagues, for working together on projects or simply helping with daily tasks. Yet, for the young and single, Week is Appreciation is a special occasion, although not official, to confess to their crush in the company. Therefore, what's better than kicking off Week of Appreciation with a sweet confession? And if the story Taehyung wrote is true, that might motivate Juyeon to make the real confession next week.

But even though it's going to be a pre-recording show, I can't do it.

How would I tell Taehyung, who is super excited about his story to be broadcasted? He has passed the first challenge very smoothly. Would he think that I want to kick him out of the team by telling him that I won't be able to record this week and hence, ruin his plan?

Fortunately, my savior chooses the right time to appear then. Well, if you call the one who I come for advice most of the time a savior. But the savior does not just come with help. He also comes with nagging.

“You really know how to make people worried!”

Hyojin nags again. If not with verbal language, then with written language and even with sign language as a bonus. As he speaks, I hurriedly flip though the texts and find that I missed no less than 20 texts from him while I was focusing on finding a good way to respond Taehyung. I grin with Hyojin as he drops a huge box of strawberry on my bed-side cabinet. It must be scorching hot out there as the back of his shirt is watery wet. He did not bother to roll up his long sleeves, though. When I first got to know Hyojin, I deemed his always wearing wristbands or long-sleeved shirt as a method to hide his tattoo. However, the alleged tattoo turned out to be a big scar while the real tattoo's whereabout is still unknown to me.

Hyojin sits down on my bed and hands me a strawberry he has picked from the box.

“Have one! I have it washed already.”

He urges. Despite being covered in sweat, Hyojin still looks cool with that red hair which I always believe to suit him the most. Hyojin is not the type of tall guy with hidden muscles like Taehyung, he is more a petite type: shorter, paler, and therefore, gives off a softer, more reliable vibe.

“It's not lunch time yet.” - I take a bite of the strawberry, it tastes so sweet – “Why are you here already?”

“Just take advantage of my free schedule.” - He shrugs and leans closer to study at my neck – “Endoscopic surgery huh?”

I nod in confirmation and reach out for another strawberry which is already waiting on Hyojin's hand.

“I told you it wasn't a big deal at all. I could leave after the surgery but Yongsun unnie insisted on spending a night here for health monitoring.”

“That's great of her to do so. Can't underestimate when it comes to your health.”

Ok, I am pretty sure he is referring to a few times I passes out and was rushes to the hospital as I skipped meals to lose weights. I pout and try to divert our talk to another topic, the one that captured my concentration so much that I ignored his messages earlier.

“Hyojin oppa, I have this little problem. Wanna hear?”

Hyojin raises his eyebrow as a yes signal. He never stops me from sharing my problems even though they might be a little too much some time. But this time, Kim Hyojin suddenly switches to the Joking mode that is quite uncommon of him when we talk about my problems.

“I wonder... If you find it hard to speak to this guy. Is there any chance...” - Hyojin ponders while slowly rolling up his sleeves after taking in all the details about what's with Taehyung that agonizes me. Then he suddenly looks up to me – “...that you like him?”

It comes to me as a shock. Had I not remembered what the doctor told me, I would have screamed out of my lungs and "gifted" Hyojin with a few punches.

“” - I furiously kick his arms with both legs and shriek – “Kim Hyojin, I AM serious!”

“If not so...” - Hyojin explains, looking totally gleeful to see me react that way – “What do you think are the reason?”

“Ahhhhh I don't know.” - I snap at him – “I am asking you for advice, not another coaching session.”

I am whining, which is also uncommon of the usual me but common whenever I only have Hyojin around. Hyojin always sticks to the first and foremost rule of coaching "Ask Don't Tell" as he is afraid that once he shares his opinion, it will influence me and results in my making an unconsciously biased decision. But right now, I am seeking a solution from him, and the demand gets even bigger when my phone vibrates, signaling an incoming call from Taehyung.

Gosh, why is he so enthusiastic?

Hyojin asks as I still hesitate.

“Are you sure you don’t want to pick up the phone?”

I stay silent. My brain is still working out a solution but in vain so far.

“If you were him...” - Hyojin persists with his Ask Don't Tell approach – “...excited with the new job but suddenly got no response at all. How would you feel?”

“I...” - I look at Hyojin then the phone screen which now shows notification of missed call and a few new unread messages from Taehyung himself.

“Don't say that you don't know.” - Hyojin assures me – “Jung Wheein only needs a little bit decisiveness.”

Right, decisiveness. I bet it's the reason why since taking up coaching classes, Hyojin has tried to apply Ask Don't Tell with me. For the last 5 years, I've been depending on his opinion too much that sometimes he got fed up with it and insisted that I have my own perspective instead of relying on anyone else, even himself.

I take a big inhale. What I am about to do seems ordinary to most people but as a person who never wants to hurt anyone, it takes courage. I dial Taehyung's number and he quickly picks up with a merry greeting.

“Hey, are you ok MC Jung? Calling me mean you can still speak right?”

If I think I am doing something beyond my capability, then Taehyung's reaction is beyond my anticipation. Totally.

“Er... I...”

I stutter, suddenly lose all my verbal ability.

“Geez” - Taehyung still sounds upbeat – “I found you the whole morning but Seulgi sunbae told me you're having problems with your vocal cord. Are you feeling any better now?”

Well, I didn't expect being cared either. Perhaps it's just courtesy of him to ask so. Hence, I reply with courtesy.

“Well, better now. So sorry I didn’t tell you earlier but Taehyung-ssi, I…”

“Look.” – Taehyung interrupts me with his husky voice. – “You’re speaking formally to me again. Don’t worry, Seulgi sunbae did tell me that you couldn’t do the recording this week. That’s why I’m calling to propose an idea!”

Honestly, as soon as Taehyung mentioned the word “idea”, my anxiety level started to increase. Would it be another surprise, just like the idea about what happened between Juyeon and Hong Sol? I quickly swallow my saliva and reply him as well as slightly nod to Hyojin, who is still looking at me to ensure that I still have everything under control.

“Yeah~ Just go ahead.”

“Let me record this week’s show.”

“Taehyung-ssi…”

Those words escaped my mouth even before I could grab them and push back into my mouth. They also startled Taehyung – he might not expect such a quick reaction from me like that.

“What’s wrong?” – He immediately explains like a robot – “I don’t have experience, but I will practice. You can instruct me, too. We are working together, so I don’t want to just play Seulgi sunbae’s role. I really want to help you, Jung Wheein-ssi.”

I turn bewildered. Since yesterday, nothing has taken place the way I expected, just like a live show with multiple broadcasting malfunctions. And one way or another, those malfunctions are all related to Taehyung.

Or is he himself the ‘malfunction’?

Be it or not, Taehyung is still waiting for a proper reply from me. I can’t even defer once more, because I am unable to think of any reason for postponing right now. I look up to Hyojin, begging for help and realize that he is having a call – perhaps his center is contacting him. But it seems like I woke up on the right side of the bed today as Hyojin, still with his earbuds on, speaks to me with sign language.

“I gotta go. PyeongHwa is calling.” – I read his signs – “For the recording, you can ask Yongsun noona if you are uncomfortable with the guy.”

And he adds.

“I’m not coaching this time, though. Fighting!”

Hyojin shoots me a sweet smile as he grabs his bag and leaves the room, so quickly that I could only give him a thank you sign – putting my fingers near my lips and then hand towards him.

“Taehyung-ssi…” – I continue the call, trying to sound as natural as possible – “You really surprised me.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. Nobody has ever offered me such help. So...” – I smile. Confusing I might be, I still appreciate his enthusiasm as my partner. – “Thank you.”

“You’re speaking as if...” – Taehyung laugh in between the cackling sound of glasses. He must be sitting at the café – “You’re going to reject me.”

Here comes the difficult part. I clear my throat, which, thankfully, is much better now compared to a few hours ago.

“Taehyung-ssi…” – I slowly tell him but stuttering keeps showing up and my hand waves uncontrollably in the air. This is somehow the most difficult conversation I have ever handled. - “I really appreciate your idea but…well, you’re…er…right…I mean… Just not this time. Because I have asked someone else to help. You know…the DJ last week… But…er…sure that I’ll let you do a recording…or…we’ll do it together if you haven’t got used to it.”

***

Later that night.

"Do you think I was so unempathized? He had good will anyway."

I stop typing halfway and turn to ask Hyejin, who has finally made it the the hospital and was welcomed with a shortened version of the story. Hyejin - all eyes on the jajangmyun bowl which is also her dinner - dismisses my concern right away.

"That is enough empathy and integrity. What else do you want?"

And as if it does not sound sassy enough, she adds.

"But are you sure that you believe in him to handle it himself? Stop compromising, that's tiring."

I play dumb. What can I say more when my roommate makes sense that much?