“Wow, Wheein-ssi are you sure you could eat up all these?”

Taehyung exclaimed. He couldn't hide his surprise when I appeared with a steamy cup of instant noodles on my right hand, a serving of cheese tokbokki on the other hand and one banana milk clutched between my arm and body. 

He helped me take off the milk as I placed the two cups on the table, asking back.

     “So what?”

     “Erm. . . Your face's going to get puffed up from all these spicy food.”

     “Never mind.” - I casually sat down and tore off the paper cover of bamboo chopsticks. - “I told you I fancy instant noodles now. Plus, I'll just be home tomorrow. . . I mean, today, so puffy face doesn't matter.”

Taehyung let out a scoffing laugh and also sat down to his own cup of stir fried instant noodles, started savoring it. 

We were sitting in a now deserted convenient store with us being the only customers, facing the window to watch falling snowflakes glowing under the yellow street light outside. 

Chewing the noodles slowly, I gazed at the cars passing by the window pane and unconsciously let out a sigh. 

It was Christmas Night but so far no magical thing had happened to people around me. 

Juyeon and Hongsol basically gave up on each other. Hyojin was injured. Seulgi went through a bad experience and I didn't know if she even had the chance to express her feelings to Hyojin.

Somehow, I was the cause to all of those bad happenings. 

If only I hadn't agreed to Taehyung's idea with the show.

If only I didn't suddenly want to help Seulgi.

Taehyung noticed my sudden gloom. His upper body slided towards me and he nudged me in the arm playfully.

     “Hey. Ain't it not tasty?”

     “Nope.” - My head shook and then lowered to focus on the instant noodles - “Just some random thoughts.”

     “Let me guess. You're worried about Hongsol and Hyojin hyung, right?”

I shot him a glare. Could he even read my mind then? As if he understood, Taehyung beamed.

     “So I'm correct.”

He then picked up his fish cake skewer and took a small bite. 

     “It might sound rude but. . .” - His eyesbrow furrowed as he swallowed the fish cake - “Wheein-ssi, you're overthinking too much. And honestly, those people might not need you to think for them.”

     “You mean taking care of Hyojin is a waste of my time?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at my defense.

     “I'm not talking about that ok?” - He held up his hands, even the one holding the skewer - “If it's a waste of time, my case is no difference. What I mean is that love triangle.”

I choked on the milk I was drinking. 

     “What. . .” - I coughed, trying to wipe the splattering milk on the table - “How. . .How did you know?”

     “Observation.”  - He shrugged with a smirk - “They all acted so clichéd though. But you know what, even if it was just my guess or you have known it all along, it's none of our business.”

I hissed.

     “Let me remind you of a similar story, you agreed to help with Juyeon and Hongsol stuff.” - I talked back, trying to point out his inconsistency. - “At the camp and even today. And now you're talking like I'm the nosy one.”

     “Nah, there you go again.” - Taehyung smirked. - “Making assumptions and pressure yourself.”

     “Stop accusing me!” - I snapped. - “Now that's none of your business.”

The tips of my fingers flicked. My hands were getting shaky and if I couldn't hold it back in the next few moments, I would explode. Or burst into tears. Something I didn't want to show him at all.

     “Yes, it's none of my business.” - He said and I unconsciously clenched my teeth looking at him - “But if it's something you care for, I'd like to be nosy then.”

I froze. He said those kinds of fluttering words. Again. In the same vague way. 

Somehow that he stopped being straightforward made me uncomfortable with him. 

I didn't know what exactly he meant to tell me and hence, how to respond to it without confusing or even hurting ourselves.

Even though those words were nice to hear for a girl like me.

     “You must be joking.”

Taehyung cracked up as he shoved his hands into the coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, eyes staring outside the window.

     “I'm being serious though. Let's say. . . I wasn't so interested in people's business until we made up that story about Juyeon and Hongsol. And it just went on. . .”

     “You said it was for yourself.”

     “I didn't deny. I just gave a hand, if it didn't go well, it was their choice.” - His gaze then turned to me and I felt like deja vu happened again as I couldn't break our eyes contact. - “Same to Hyojin hyung, I know you introduced him to coach Seulgi noona but it was his choice to go with it after all.”

I bit my lower lips, straining the brain cells for a witty response. 

I hate to admit but Taehyung made a point. I had been so afraid of being viewed as selfish if I didn't give a damn about people around even though I could help them. That, in my perspective, was so rude. 

    “I just. . .” - I murmured. - “. . .couldn't stand seeing them struggle.”

That's why I tried to help. And that's why Taehyung had been reminding me about stuff within and outside my control. In case I pushed myself so hard and blamed me for things not working out.

Taehyung playfully nudged my elbow. It was just amazing that our bickering suddenly turned into an in-depth talk like this.

     “For that point, I'm nothing different from you.” - He sniffed - “But I guess this arrogant Kim Taehyung could be a little merciless?”

     “Is that even a self compliment?”

He laughed.

     “Nah. That should be helpful if you need a devil inner voice.”

He was pulling his brightest smile. The smile that once had me wonder why he had never came up in any internal and informal ranking of hotness. But the pathetic me only came up with a blurt of the mouth.

     “I hate you being ambiguous, Taehyung-ssi.”

That must be so surprised to him, even out of his wildest expectation as his mouth went agape.

     “Are my words that hard to read?”

     “You weren't like that before.” 

I said and stood up, grabbing the empty milk cans and wrappers. It had been an hour since we left for food, so I needed to return to the hospital. The night was still long though.

As I lifted my first foot off the ground, Taehyung turned around on his chair and grabbed a corner of my tote bag to stop me. He looked up at me and there was no sign of joking in his eyes.

     “I mean I would love to cheer you up when you're like this. Well. . .” - He coughed. - “Whenever.”

I still don't get it. Therefore, I just stared blankly.

     “Wheein-ssi. . . I. . .” 

He sniffed, brushing his fingers across his nostrils.

As if he hadn't organized his thoughts properly. Something I had never seen in the confident Kim Taehyung.

    “Taehyung-ssi?” - I shook my elbow impatiently, signaling him to let go of my bag. - “We need to go.”

Finally his eye smile came back. So did his confidence. And his straightforwardness.

Taehyung stood up to face me with his signature playful smile.

     “I like you. Is it any clearer now?”

○●○

I arrived home just to find Yongsun in the kitchen so early. And by “so early”, I meant 4 in the morning. 

     “Unnie, I'm home.”

     “Oh, Wheein ah? How's Hyojin then? I thought you'd be home later.”

     “He insisted on an early discharge.” - I hung my bag on the hanger and switched to the home slippers - “He said he couldn't sleep well but I doubt it.”

     “Poor him. Hope he gets well soon.”

     “He's totally fine now. He just doesn't want to stay there any longer.”

I walked towards her. Yongsun was hugging her knees on the chair across from me, her long messy hair flowing over the shoulders.

     “But why are you here at this hour?”

And at that exact moment, I spotted her eyes swollen and the empty green soju bottles on the dining table. Just the sight of those freaked me out.

     “Unnie” - I stuttered, forgetting that I needed to sanitize my hands first - “What happened to you?”