"Irene, i just want to be with you."

"I know."

Wendy didn't understand how love could be so cruel. She coudln't understand how Irene could be so cruel. Empty words and plans that were said were all but a broken crystal ball. 

She didn't want to believe that this was going to be the last time she would see Irene. She could only stare in cold horror at the person in front of her she no longer knew, but also staring into her future that was cold and bleak.

Irene isn't going to be there with me.

Wendy didn't know how to accept that,  but she knew that it was the only thing she could do. There wasn't the warmth between them any longer. They were two strangers caught in a parallel yet unaligned world.

"I'm sorry, Seungwan," Irene said quietly. "Please...don't keep waiting for me."

"..."

"You put your family behind you when you came here," Irene continued. "You can do that with me too."

Wendy felt a surge of resentment because everyone seemed to always use that card against her, but she didn't want to get into an argument. She knew what she did when she walked out of her parents' home to come to Korea. Never in her life did she imagine that Irene would shove her off a cliff.

"Stop torturing yourself," Wendy said. 

"You don't understand, Seungwan!" Irene slammed a hand against the table. "Everything happened because of me! I have to take responsibility."

"responsibility for waht? For what Junmyeon did to you? For the way you were raised to think?" Wendy demanded.

Irene's jaw was tense as her eyes burned into Wendy's face. "You know this kind of relationship isn't ideal. Would you be able to face all the hate, do you think I would be able to handle alienation just for loving you?"

"You want to know what happened when you left?" Irene continued. "My parents were worried i was a lesbian,  and so they put me into conversion therapy. 

Seungwan, don't you see? This person before is not the strong independent woman from before. It was all just a show. Now it's just me, trying to live the right way.

And I can't do that with you in my life. Not now."

Wendy couldn't believe her ears. She felt guilt for leaving Irene, for not being there, but Irene was teh one who told her to leave. "I-Irene, there isn't a right way..."

Irene shook her head, her eyes distressed. "Seungwan, I just want to be alone now. Please go."

--

Wendy didn't feeel any better after the unexpected meeting with Irene. SHe had been hoping that maybe with time, Irene might be ready to try again, but it seemed that Irene was not going to try, not even to be friends again.

She knew where Irene lived. She could go back and try again, but that wasn't a good idea.

Wendy wasn't going to push her boundaries and so she decided it was time to pack up and leave. She found a nice quiet place near the countryside, away from the city, away from her old life. She planned ot move there permanently once she had enough savings to allow her to work from home wihtout having to come to the city.

For the next few weeks, she slowly began moving her things out to her country house.

When the final arrangements were made, Wendy packed the last of her things into her car, and shouldered her backpack before leaving her apartment forever.

She contemplated going out ot see Irene one last time, for a real goodby so that things don't end sourly every time. But she knew Irene wouldn't want to see her. What was she goign to expect?

The older woman had her mind made up.

And Wendy thought she herself had her mind made up similarly as well.

Still, after all this time, she could not let go. So Wendy decided to attempt to keep things open, she could let Irene know that there was still a chance to reconnect later if not now. 

Irene,

I hope this letter finds you. If so,I wanted to tell you that no matter waht happens, you are still an important person in my life.

I am trying to move on with life with the disappointment i left behind at home, and all the choices that led up to this moment. I ketp thinking ot myself, if I hadn't left, my parents would still be alive. If I hadn't let you marry Junmyeon, maybe  you would not be hurt, thinggs could carry on the same as before maybe without the dates.

Thinking like that won't change anything. I only know that I don't regret meeting you, and I will cherish the old times as something like a mystical dream-like chapter of my life. 

Someday, if you want to meet again, I will be here at this new home.

I am moving to the countryside, my address is enclosed at teh bottom of this page. I remember your wish to live peacefully in a countryhouse, and I decided that maybe living peacefully could serve as some from of comfort from all this.