"Wendy, look!" Joy her phone in the girl's face the moment she walked into the studio. 

She squinted her eyes and steppeed back so her eyes could focus on the screen in front of her. 

"Waste It On Me" - Number 1 on Billboards.

"Whoa." Wendy knew she was working on a track for a pretty popular group, but did not expect that to happen. It felt good and scary knowing that she was the one that was a part of the whole production.

She wished she could tell Irene, but it wouldn't be the same now. Perhaps in the past, or if the wedding and the dates had never happened at all, Irene would have been so proud of her.

Maybe she would tell Wendy her parents would have have been so proud of her now.

Those were just broken dreams.

"Let's go for drinks tonight," Joy suggested. "On me."

Wendy was reluctant to do that because she felt guitly for going out while Irene was suffering alone. But she also didn't want to be alone with her own thoughts so she agreed. 

Joy took her to the same bar that Wendy used to always frequent with Irene, but she didn't want to ruin the hangout. Wendy hadn't come back for a long time so she wondered if the bartender was still there. 

They walked in, the same old new kind of music playing, and people socializing like usual. Almost like nothing changed, this whole bar was in a timeline away form what was going on in the real world. 

They took a seat at the bar together, both ordering their own thing. Wendy decided to try something new tonight so she wouldn't get lost in memories. 

The bartender served their respecitve drinks and Wendy only sipped a little because she didn't feel like getting drunk tonight. She felt Joy nudged her shoulder and she gave her colleague a questioning glance. Joy smirked and raised her eyebrows comically, nodding her head to Wendy's other side, where another woman had taken the liberty of sitting beside her.

Wendy didn't even look, didn't want to open any window of opportunity for a stranger. If it was who she thought it was...

"I haven't seen you around before." It was not Chaeyoung.

"What's your name?" the woman continued. She was very slim, tall,  and wore a black dress that showed a lot of her back and hips. 

Wendy turned back to her drink again without a word.

"I'm Krystal. You seem like a decent person unlike most people here."

"I'm not looking for anyone here," Wendy told her. "Sorry." She put down the tab for both her and Joy, and left tips before sliding out of her seat. 

Once she got outsid,e JOy burst out after her. "What happened? Are you ok?"

Wendy gave her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry, Joy, but this place brings too many memories."

--

"I'm sorry, Miss Son," the nurse said. "Irene does not wish to see anyone right now. She wanted me to give this." She held out a an envelope that had her name on it. Irene's handwriting was still familiar.

Just like when Irene wrote her for her birthday, for the holidays. 

"T-thank you. Please take care of her." She knew it sounded stupid, but she didnt know what else to say.

Seungwan, if there is anything I ever felt after meeting you, I don't think I would be able to express it in words because it just doesn't make sense. I don't make sense right now, I'm really messed up in my head.

I don't want to remember anything that happened that led up to this moment. I'm supposed to be smarter, stronger, and wiser. I should be the one standing at your side and being there for you but it is me who is spoiled by your attention. Even now, when I'm hopelessly beyond repair, I still have your attention and it makes me angry and happy at the same time.

I don't want you to see me like this. I wish things could go bakc, I wish I wasn't a fool trying to follow my parents' dream and make them stop bothering me about having a family. Now I know I am wrong. You were right.

I had everything. Now I have nothing.

I thought I had to make Junmyeon happy to make things work. I gave up my business, I gave up my studio, I gave up all of me for him, nothing more than a stranger to me. He wasn't happy. He was so angry after I kissed you, he always yelled at me. He hit me if I tried to go outside, or if I wanted to call someone. He was suspicious that I wanted you and he held me on a leash to maek sure I never went out to see anyone. But I tried to make it work for mom, for dad. 

I know I should have just walked away. I could just start up my business again, I could return back to normal but I don't know why I couldn't. Things JUnmyeon said, things my parents said - I thought I had to prove myself. My mother said I had to be just ,ike her and father.

I tried to pretend everything was good. I always thought I could still have you in my life, but i didn't know junmyeon would be this way. I wish I could have walked out and not care about ruining my family's image. I wanted to save face, theirs and mine. I didn't want to believe I made a mistake. Divorce is not an easy thing.

I don't know what the hell happened to me. I felt like I couldn't do anything. How could I be so weak to please  a man I hardly knew? Why did I have to listen to my parents? Why didn't I choose the person always on my side for this long? 

Nothing makes sense now. I was stupid. I still am.

I wish you never had to see me like this, Seungwan. I'm just a broken person now. Things will never be the same. I don't want to face everyone after what I've done, and I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I feel safer here where no one really knows me. I can just sleep and be alone, just like I deserve .I don't deserve someone like you. I am not worthy of being loved, especially when I don't even know what it is.

I only know that I always want to be with you, I like being around you a lot. Even with our , it never feels like we have nothing in common. You always know what to do and say to me, and you're down to earth which I reallyl admire about you. You're so much stronger than me, you have no one, but you still keep fighting. 

I envy you that. You did not let anyone stop you from your dream. 

I have so much more to write, but I don't think there's enough room and time. I'm under watch right now and this is almost the end of the paper.

Now that I'm writing, I feel stupid because it sounds emotional like I'm just all over the place. I couldn't be with anyone but you. 

I don't think you should wait for me anymore. I am afraid I won't be the same person you knew before everything happened. I don't want you to get hurt because of me again. It's for the best. 

I'm sorry.

--

Wendy perused the produce aisle in the grocery store, having an internal argument about whether or not to just get instant noodle or actually cook. She hadn't had much sleep because her mind alternated thinking about work and how to respond to Irene's letter.

After what Irene did, how can I still love her?

She finally decided to get some produce since she was here, and almost had aheart attack when she saw Junmyeon standing at the fridge far enough away from her. A surge of anger burst through her veins, and she almost marched over there to confront the man and say not nice things to him, especially for what he did to Irene.

But then she realized that getting angry and yelling at him in the middle of a grocery store wouldn't help her or Irene.

So she in a breath and suppressed her anger as she made her payment and left the store.

The weekend finally arrived and Wendy still hadn't made up her mind about what to do. Irene's request didn't seem like a good idea, but Wendy wasn't sure if it was better for the both of them to be alone and try to reset things somehow.

Irene did come out to meet her, and sat down beside her with a heavy sigh.

Wenyd planend out what to say to stall for time to segue into what she really needed to tell Irene, but for the first time, she found that it was difficult. It was almost like they didn't know each other anymore. Like they had never met.

"I read your note," Wendy began.

"I know."

"..." 

"My mom stopped by the other day," Irene continued quietly. There was no trace of bitterness and anger from Wendy's previous visits. Irene sounded defeated and tired now - her old self really appeared to have died. 

"What did she say?"

"Nothing worth saying." Irene shrugged and brushed her hair through her fingers. "How's work?"

"Same old stuff," Wendy replied. Normally she would have replied asking Irene the same thing, but now it was not applicable and she didn't know what was appropriate to ask her old friend and love. "How are things here?"

Irene made a huff of amusement and leaned her head back. "Same old stuff since I got here. Therapy, group sessions, assigned enrichment activities, eat, sleep - it's the same everyday. It gets very dull."

There was a painful silence that Wendy couldn't alleviate. Thinking of the old days, she invoulntarily leaned her head against Irene's shoulder, and was surprised when Irene moved her arm to wrap around Wendy. "I'm so confused, Seungwan," Irene murmured. "I'm supposed to be settling down and having a family, but I don't want to. And I should have known better than to blindly fall into it."

"i...it's ok," Wendy said. "You were just trying to do things the way you thought was right."

Irene pressed her cheek to the top of Wendy's head - the most intimacy they've ever had since the wedding night. "It was wrong in the end. And I lost the most important part of my life because of that."

Wendy pulled back to look earnestly into her eyes. "But you can do it. You can start over. I'm here for you, you know that."

"I know."

"I know my life is less than perfect, but I'll be on your side. Just..."

"Seungwan, I know you would do anything for me. You already did everything for me." Irene gently cupped her cheek. "I don't want you to feel like you're tethered to me anymore. It's time to let go."

...

"A-are you sure this is best?" Wendy finally asked. She gazed into Irene's dark and tired eyes.

"Live a good life, Seungwan. Find someone who will love you better than I did. You deserve that more than anything."

Wendy couldn't believe the wrods falling from the older woman's lips. She felt like her heart stopped, like if it beat again the next rhythm, it would break from teh strain of emotion. "Irene, I...i can't do that."

"You can do anything, Seungwan. You've proved it many times. I need to be alone. And you need to be free."

Now Wendy was more afraid because she didn't want to believe where this was going. But every second was taking them closer to the inevitable request Irene wrote to her. "You said we're family. How can I let you go?"

Irene leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. The sensation burned into Wendy's skin, and she felt cold when the touch disappeared. "I love you, Seungwan."