Jessica was still lounging in front of her TV at her penthouse when her boyfriend came to picked her up. He already dressed up in a nice clothes and his hair has been combed neatly. He frowned when he found Jessica still not ready, at all. She still wearing a casual white shirt and a short.

“Jess, why aren’t you dress up yet?”, he asked.

Jessica just looked at him and squinted her brow. And within seconds, she was just remember that they had a dinner reservation tonight at a nice restaurant.  She gasped.

“Oh shoot. Uh – sorry Tyler. I – I totally forgot about the dinner.”

Tyler sighed, clearly looked annoyed. “Okay then. Get ready, hurry up. The reservation is in half an hour from now.”

But Jessica didn’t move from her spot. She didn’t feel like going. Jessica just wanted to stay at home, maybe mourning about Taeyeon, she didn’t know. But lately she just didn’t want to hang-out with anybody, moreover with her boyfriend when her mind were just full of Taeyeon. She just wanted to be alone.

“Would it be – uh would it be okay if we cancel the dinner? I mean, sorry – But I just don’t feel like going.”

Tyler looked at her, giving his puzzle look. He walked slowly and sat next to Jessica on the couch and held her hand.

“Jess, are you really okay? You seem – off and so distant lately. Please tell me what’s going on.”

Jessica lowered her head and saw her hand that was securely on her boyfriend’s. She didn’t want that hand, she wanted Taeyeon’s. Jessica thought that she was getting crazy anytime soon where everything just screamed about Taeyeon.

“I told you nothing’s going on. I am just – not in the mood.”

“Alright, that’s it!!!”, Tyler suddenly snapped and threw Jessica’s hand away. “You know I’ve been trying to be patient all this time!! But I can’t take it anymore! What the is wrong with you Jess??!”

Tyler’s tone raised to another octave as he stood up from the couch. Jessica just stared at him with hanged open. She didn’t expect any harsh treatment from her boyfriend.  

“TELL ME! I am done with your mood swing!! I am your boyfriend and you should respect me!!”, he yelled this time, his face became red.

Seeing her boyfriend like this, frustrated like now, Jessica knew she could not let this dragging for too long. Jessica has reached her turning point. It was killing her, the guilty feeling and the hollowness in her relationship with Tyler. She was not happy. She was not complete. How come she would be happy if she knew her life was never complete? All the fame, all the money, all the business she had meant nothing if she was not happy.

“Tyler ---“, she started, saying in a very weak voice. “I – am sorry. I am – I –“, Jessica stuttered, trying to let out her secret. But she had to do it. She already suffered because she held it too long.

“I cheated on you.”

There. She said it.  It was silence between them when that confession finally slipped out from her lips. Jessica looked down, fidgeting her fingers. She knew she hurt her boyfriend and she didn’t dare to face him.

Tyler snorted. “It’s her isn’t it?”, he asked, in English this time.

Jessica mentally gasped. Tyler said it’s her. He knew about Taeyeon? She looked up to face Tyler. Her eyes wondering, and Tyler could read her face this time.

He nodded and scoffed. “Yeah. I know. You don’t think I knew about your infidelity? I know you’ve been spending time at her place and even dare to go to the hotel with her!”

Jessica squinted her brows. “Were you following me??”

Tyler just shrugged his shoulders. “I have my ways.”, he said mockingly. 

She could not believe that Tyler would followed her, or maybe pay someone to follow her. Somehow her rage rose up, she didn’t like it when she knew the fact that he would go that far.

“You don’t have right to follow me like that! I am not your property!”, she shouted.

“You dare to say something like that to me? You ing cheater, you should’ve begged for my forgiveness!! What did you see in that anyway???!!”, Tyler shouted back.

“Taeyeon is not a !!!”, Jessica fired back, she could not stand when the person she loves the most is mocked by Tyler.

“You dare to say her name in front of me??! You’re both are the same! Shameless ing !!”, Tyler hissed.

“Watch your mouth!”, Jessica warned, she glared at her boyfriend. His words was getting uncontrollably harsh. She never knew this side of Tyler, how rude he could be in this kind of situation.

But then he chuckled in sarcasm, which Jessica found it annoying. “That’s alright! You think you’re the only one who can cheat??! I am not a stupid boyfriend who were just weeping at home seeing his girlfriend ing someone else.”

Jessica could not believe what she just heard.

“You’ve been cheating on me???”, Jessica asked. She was not going to lie, but there was a little hurt when she knew Tyler also had been cheating on her.

“Now we’re even.”, he said and smirked, looked satisfied.

Jessica had no idea, she knew Tyler must be hurt and she understood that she was the one who hurt him. But she never thought Tyler would be this shallow, just cheated back on her to get revenge. Where the sweet guy that she knew all this time? Now Jessica didn’t feel so guilty anymore.

“We’re done.”, Jessica said in a low voice, her tone was cold. This relationship had already damaged. There was nothing to lose anymore.

“YOU DARE TO BREAK UP WITH ME?”, Jessica’s plead to break up made Tyler got angrier. “You are so ungrateful, who do you think who are? Who do you think helping you until you can be where you are right now? You are nothing without me and my company!”, Tyler snorted again. 

Jessica balled her first. Her anger was almost reach her limit. “I can be where I am now because of me!! You’re the one who should be grateful because your company getting recognize by people because I agreed to join you!”

“Hahahah ---“, Tyler faked his laugh and clapped his hands. “Yes, thank you miss Jessica Jung. As I predicted, you are very useful to me and my company. What? You think I date you because I was really crazy about you? Tch, I only use you for my benefit. You’re lucky because finally I grew feelings for you and able to love you.”

*SLAP!!!!*

Jessica landed her hand on Tyler’s cheek, slapped him hard. Tyler was already out of the line. Jessica didn’t know whether that was the truth or that was just something he said because he was angry and he wanted to hurt her feelings, but it didn’t matter. Maybe this was why Jessica always delays and hesitates to formalize her relationship to the level of marriage. She loved him, but deep inside her heart, she always had doubt.

“GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!”, Jessica screamed, she gritted her teeth while her tears already flowing from her eyes. She was really really angry this time.

Tyler scoffed. But fortunately he can still hold himself not to hit Jessica back. He stormed out from Jessica’s house and grumbled.

Jessica was still crying, her chest felt heavy. Her breath were uneven. But at the same time, she finally let go her burden, there was also a relief. It was hurt, but its odd, because Jessicafelt that this time, she finally had done the right thing.

******

Two weeks has passed since she broke up with Tyler. A week after the fight, Tyler came to her house again. Begging for forgiveness, begging to rekindle the relationship, saying that everything that he said about using Jessica was just an angry words and the truth were not like that. But Jessica stayed on her decision and convinced herself that this was for the best. Maybe she still loved him, she was not really sure. But her relationship with him was not worth to be fighting for. One thing Jessica was sure, she can live without him she’ll survive without his presence.  

Jessica was typing in front of her laptop in her office when suddenly she received an incoming message. From Taeyeon.

Taeyeon: ‘Are you okay?’

Jessica narrowed her eyes, a question in her head was what Taeyeon meant by asking that. But soon after Taeyeon message popped out again, answering her question. 

Taeyeon: ‘I heard from Tiffany about the breakup.’

Jessica rolled her eyes, reminded herself to scold Tiffany for gossiping her break up to Taeyeon.

Taeyeon: ‘Don’t blame her. I heard she was talking with Yoona and I force her to tell.’

Another incoming message from Taeyeon. Jessica chuckled when she read it, Taeyeon knew her so well to quickly clarify that it was not Tiffany’s fault so Jessica didn’t have to scold her American friend. But soon her little happiness changed into a curiosity. Why Taeyeon bothered to text her asked if she was okay? Jessica grabbed her phone and quickly type a short reply.

Jessica: ‘I am okay, well – I will be okay. Thank you for asking.’

5 minutes later, a reply from Taeyeon came.

Taeyeon: ‘Let’s meet tomorrow. Just having fun. So you can relax.’

Jessica stunned. Taeyeon wanted to meet her? Why? Not even a minute for Jessica to process Taeyeon’s offer, Taeyeon sent her another text.

Taeyeon: ‘I just want to cheer you up, Sica. I am still me, the Taeyeon who still care for you. No need to think too much.’

Jessica was amazed on Taeyeon’s ability to read her mind, even when she was not really there in front of Taeyeon. Taeyeon really knew how Jessica’s brain works and she could even guess what question Jessica had in mind. And all of that, she answer it correctly through the text message. Yeah, they didn’t change and they will always have that bond, Jessica thought.  

Jessica ended up saying yes to Taeyeon’s offer. She specifically requested that she wanted to eat at the Japanese restaurant and Taeyeon agreed to it.

The next day, Jessica spent almost an hour just to try her clothes on, searching the perfect outfit to meet Taeyeon.

“So, it’s a date?”, Krystal asked, when she helped her sister by choosing the clothes in her closet.

Jessica still examining at herself in the mirror. “It’s not. She said she just want to cheer me up.”

“If its not a date, then why do you bother to look pretty? Just wear a shirt and jeans.”, Krystal teased.

Jessica glared to her little sister, which made Krystal chuckled. But Jessica herself also didn’t know what the answer. She knew Taeyeon didn’t ask her on a date, but she can’t help to look presentable when she meet Taeyeon.

Jessica threw another dress and tried on the other one. “How about this?”, she asked about the clothes, ignoring Krystal’s question.

“Taeyeon unnie is weird. Why did she ask you out when she knows that you – you know, broke up with Tyler oppa?”

Jessica scoffed. “I don’t know. Maybe she just want to amend our relationship. You know, starting to become civilized to each other Become --- friends maybe?”

Krystal let out a small laughed. “Friends? Do you really want to be, only, her friend? Or can you both really become friends?”

Friends. Jessica winced. Actually she didn’t like that words to describe her and Taeyeon and certainly she could never be seeing Taeyeon as merely a friend. But she was not really in a phase where she wanted to think too much about her situation with Taeyeon. She just broke up with her boyfriend, an ugly break up she might say and she just didn’t want to stress herself over what could happen with Taeyeon thing. Besides, the condition was different now, Taeyeon was not single and Jessica didn’t want to start having another season 2 affair with her.  It was just --- Taeyeon really could be unpredictable sometimes and Jessica had no idea what was her intention this time.   

Taeyeon was already outside, parked her car and wait for Jessica. There was a conflict in her head, she was not sure that asking Jessica out was her best decision. But she didn’t know why, hearing Jessica’s break up, she wanted to be there for her, to be Jessica’s strength, to be Jessica’s someone to rely on. She didn’t want to see Jessica sad. Maybe part of it Taeyeon felt guilty because the ugly break up happened due to their affair. But Taeyeon tried to shrug it out, all the feelings that she could not figure out when it comes to Jessica.

5 minutes after Taeyeon texted her, Jessica came out from the building and entered her car. And as usual, Taeyeon was mesmerized, Jessica looked so flawless.

*****

As agreed between them before, they had dinner in a Japanese restaurant. Odd, they were ex-lovers, ended their affair in a not so friendly manner, but things actually didn’t get awkward now. It always felt comfortable and familiar between them.

“Sica --- “, Taeyeon started. “I am sorry about the break-up. I feel so bad since, you know --- he knew about us.”

Jessica stopped when she slurped her ramen. Actually she didn’t expect Taeyeon would bring this subject. She stared at Taeyeon then shook her head. “No need to feel that, Taenggo. We both at fault. And he’s not worth it anyway. So --- yeah.”

Taeyeon nodded, tried to wash her guilty feelings away. “So, what happen to the business then?”

Jessica shrugged her shoulder. “I haven’t put a thought of it. But I will figure it out. Blanc & Eclare is mine and it stays with me for sure. As for Clareau, our share is split anyway so I don’t think it wont be a problem.”

“Are you okay?”, Taeyeon asked, Jessica could find a concern drawn on her eyes.

Jessica nodded and gave an assuring smile. “I am fine. It’s --- I’ve felt worse, like 1000 times worse than this.”

Jessica was referring to what she felt about her and Taeyeon’s relationship. Breaking up with Tyler was nothing compared to what she felt when she broke up with Taeyeon.

Taeyeon chuckled but she mentally smiled. That sentence somehow gave a comfort to her as Jessica sees Taeyeon as someone who were much more precious than her ex-boyfriend.   

They stared at each other in a comfortable silent. But it got interrupted when Taeyeon’s phone rang. Jessica could not help to take a little glance and she found Taeyeon’s girlfriend pictures beeping on Taeyeons phone screen.

“Hey --- Yeah I am having dinner --- with a friend ---“

Friend. When that word came out from Taeyeon, Jessica didn’t like that word even more.

“Alright – I’ll see you later tonight – Bye baby –“

Jessica didn’t like everything she witnessed in front of her. Taeyeon’s smile when she picked up the call, Taeyeon’s small laugh when she talk to her girlfriend. Jealous. Jessica knew she was jealous. And it was frustrating because she could not do anything. Taeyeon was not hers.

“So – it’s going well between you and her?”, Jessica dare herself to ask when Taeyeon hung-up the phone. It was like digging her own grave when she threw out the questions, but Jessica could not help to ask.

Taeyeon’s face changed, looked a little bit uncomfortable. “Uh – yeah well – not bad.”

She replied in short, but Jessica could read that Taeyeon seemed does not want to discuss it further.

The rest of the dinner, they didn’t talk about matters related to Tyler or Heize. They just talk randomly, they laughed, they discussed about SNSD, the members, their parents, their lives. Not once they discuss about their affair or Jessica’s drunk incident. Basically, they just sharing stories. 

Taeyeon ended up craving for an ice cream and both of them went to an ice cream parlour to have a chocolate mint ice cream. After that they just walking, strolled along the street, alley to alley, buying some snacks if they want to and just chatting.

“I am starting to have a concert tour next month. Do you – do you want to come? I can get you free ticket.”, Taeyeon asked as she grinned.

“Oh really? Of course I want to come. I always love to see you singing on stage!”, Jessica shrieked, but she quickly tried to hide her embarrassment because she sounded too excited.

“If you come, maybe I’ll ask you to go on the stage and sing with me.”

“Taenggooo – Nooo –“, Jessica blushed and slapped Taeyeon’s arm playfully.

Taeyeon let out a chuckle. “Why? I am sure the fans will be dying to see it. And come on, Sica. You know I always love your voice, especially when we sing together. We are --- compatible –“, Taeyeon paused. “Our voice I mean.”, she quickly added, feeling shy as she afraid her words can be interpreted differently. 

“You love to sing with Tiffany more.”, Jessica pouted. Taeyeon laughed, thinking how cute Jessica looked.

“That’s because SM didn’t give me a chance to have a formal duet with you. I will be gladly do it if they were.”

When they were walking side by side, there was one or two a sweet glances exchanged, they smiled shyly and when their hands brushed, it was electrical. It was weird in a nice way. For Jessica, it was like a perfect date. For Taeyeon, she wished this was a date.

All of sudden, a heavy rain came pouring down on them. Interrupting their perfect evening.

“Oh . Sica – run!”, Taeyeon grabbed Jessica’s hand, trying to find a shelter so they won’t get too wet. But the alley where they were walking was quite empty, not full with stores and building, so unfortunately they need to run quite a long way until they found the a place that has a roof on its terrace, a former coffee shop that has been closed.

They were drenched and Jessica got freezing. Her teeth chattered from the cold and she hugged himself.

“Damn. I parked my car quite far from this place.”, Taeyeon mumbled.

“It’s okay, Tae. We just wait here until the rain got less heavy than this.”

Taeyeon looked at Jessica. Her body was soaking wet and her wet hair blocked her eyes. Taeyeon can't resist herself to some of Jessica’s hair and tucked it in behind her ear.

Jessica’s heart was thumping hard when Taeyeon did that. Even with the raindrops covered her face, Taeyeon’s marble face looked really beautiful. It's cold, but with Taeyeon there, it felt warm. 

Their eyes met, exchanging gaze. Jessica was lost there. She had tried so hard to hold the urge to make a move, but her brain failed. It was a losing battle. Automatically she leaned forward to kiss Taeyeon, forgetting everything.

But before her lips can touch Taeyeon’s lips, Taeyeon took a step back and she looked at Jessica sadly.

“I – I have a girlfriend, Sica. You cannot just kiss me like that.”, she said, whispering in the middle of the raining sound. 

That word silencing Jessica and she quickly lowered her head. Yeah she knew, she could not do that and she was so embarrassed at her impulsive action and worse, Taeyeon rejected her kiss.

“I am sorry. Please don’t do this.”, Taeyeon added.

Jessica wanted to ask Taeyeon then why she asked her out on the first place? Yes she did tell that she just wanted to cheer Jessica up. But was that really her intention? What did Taeyeon want? But Jessica knew if she ask that, she will not get an answer from Taeyeon, the truth answer. That’s just Taeyeon.

“I am – I am sorry too. I ---“

Jessica finally looked at Taeyeon, and for the second time, their eyes met again. Time seemed to stop and everything seemed to be vanished. In the middle of the rain, as if there was only them. And they both didn’t know what to feel.