Chapter 11

The clink of the glass made the woman in front of Siyeon flinch. She did put too much force on the motion. Sighing, she placed her head on the table. She once again sighs which concerned the women she’s together with. 

“What happened?” Minji asked, wiping the washed glass. “You know we can’t help unless you tell us what it is. It’s very hard to assume what you are thinking.”

“Was it Bora?” Siyeon raised her head and looked at Yoohyeon beside her. “What about her? Did she do something?”

She once again sighs, gloom around her as she finished the glass of wine.

It was already past midnight, and the pub is now closed. They are cleaning up when she decided to have a drink because the heavy feeling inside her doesn’t want to go away. The couple was worried about her as she silently ponders on the stool. Looking far away, mind drifting far. Minji did comply with her request for a glass of wine but refused to give her a second one because she doesn’t say anything. 

“Siyeon,” Yoohyeon whined. “I’m worried! We’re both worried! What happened to you?”

Minji calmed Yoohyeon by shielding Siyeon from her lover. It can be a mess if Yoohyeon gets too much into her emotions. Minji forced Yoohyeon to sit and to say no more. They shouldn’t force her to tell but they knew the only one who can make Siyeon like this was the person who they are not with right now.

“Do you think…” Siyeon spoke, more like a whisper. “If I said everything to Bora… Can she take it like I’m taking it for the past years?”

Minji and Yoohyeon confusingly looked at her, clueless about what she meant. 

Siyeon knew they both met her in her adult life, her life right now that’s why they don’t know much about her. Though she wishes—at a time like this—she has someone she can talk her worries out. But there’s no Dami around to hear her, she’s with the person who never left her mind.

“What do you mean, Siyeon?” Yoohyeon asked, more like a plead as she can’t take how she doesn’t know enough to help her. “We won’t know until you give us information about what happened?”

“Nothing much, just…” Siyeon looked at the glass she was holding. “I had a talk with Bora’s dad. Mr. Kim, he—we had a talk about the past. And everything, everything just…”

Siyeon groaned, holding her head as she tried her hardest not to cry in front of them.

“It was overwhelming,” Siyeon whimpered which made Minji reached for her hand. “I-I don’t know, just… When he brought that time when I burned down my house, my family, his wife… Everything just feels so overwhelming. The memories, the nightmares, everything…”

“Did he blame you for it?” Minji asked trying to calm her down as she breaks down. “Siyeon, please. I don’t know your past, but I know you didn’t purposely do it.”

Siyeon sobbed, making Yoohyeon hugged her. 

“He did not… He comforted me… Telling me it’s not my fault…” Siyeon groaned. “But for me… Myself… I know, even if it was an accident… It was still me. But it was not the hardest part… It is what happened after… My only family…”

Minji placed herself beside Siyeon and put her hand to her back, encouraging her to continue. 

“My sister… She survived…” Siyeon continued, the sadness and bitterness swallowing her. “But she had an accident… That killed her, leaving me all alone… completely.”

Siyeon continued to tell her story, finally having the courage to open to people she trusts. They were already a part of her family…

******

“No! You’re the reason why Mom is gone! I hate you!”

She shouted as she tugged on the hair of the crying little girl. Her father saw her and immediately grabbed her, lifting her to never reach the child. She saw another kid crying and hugging the child she was beating.

“I hate you!”

******

Bora woke up in cold sweats, hearing her alarm from her phone when the real world started to sink in. She gets up from her bed, seeing herself in the mirror across the room. She looks… dreadful. She got out of her room and smell a dish being cooked inside her kitchen, her eyes taking a glimpse of Gahyeon still on the couch sleeping. She saw Dami preparing breakfast and was humming. She moved towards the sink, splashing her face with some water.

“Mor—” Dami cut her greeting when she saw Bora's tears falling. “What happened?”

Bora felt her tears running down her cheeks but she doesn’t know why. She once again splashed her face with water and took a deep breath.

“It was nothing.” She reasoned when as she slapped both her cheeks to calm down. 

She headed to her room without batting an eye at Dami. She slumped on her bed once she wiped her face, tracing her dream. It was her. She can only make out herself. The other people in that were all blurry. But did she really… did she hurt the kid? She was unsure as some of her memories from her childhood were unclear. Like she started her life only when she got to the city. She has no recollection of anything that happened within the small town except for the fact that her mother died there. 

She felt her chest tighten, uneasiness in her mind as she grasps the dream. She can’t say for sure and she can’t bring herself to remember. Like there’s a blockage inside her mind that keeping her away from thoughts she has questions about. 

A knock from the door was heard, making Bora looked at the door. She groggily got up, seeing a grumpy Gahyeon upon opening the door. 

“Do Dami wake you up this early?” She groaned which somehow made Bora snort. “It’s not even past nine… Also, she told me to check on you. What happened? Nightmare?”

Bora did not answer but it was enough for Gahyeon to know that it was the case. After all, this was not the first time she saw Bora like this. Bora was really aloof, and she can be unresponsive when she has nightmares where she sees herself. Even if Bora doesn’t say it, Gahyeon knew since they’ve been together since college.

Gahyeon placed herself beside Bora, sitting at the bed and yawning. She turned to Bora who’s tearing to the pillow.

“I don’t know…” Bora’s voice cracked as she tries to remember. “What the hell are all those dreams? I can only see myself. And everyone is blurry…”

“Do you want to get hypnotized?” Gahyeon suggested, scrolling through her phone. “It can help you… based on what they’re saying on the internet.”

She stares at Gahyeon who’s looking at different places where what she suggested can be done. She picked the nearest since she planned on bringing Bora today.

“We can stay another day here, right?” Gahyeon asked, not to her but to Dami who’s leaning at the door. 

“Yeah,” Dami agreed as she glanced at Bora who’s now wiping her tears. 

Upon reaching the place that Gahyeon found, she faced Bora and placed her hands on her shoulders. Looking directly in her eyes, seeing anxiousness in Bora’s movements. 

“No matter what you will learn today…” Gahyeon spoke. “Promise me that nothing will change, okay?”

Bora hesitantly nodded. She doesn’t know if she can keep the promise after this session because as much as she knew, it will affect her. Opening the door to the room where the practitioner is, Bora took a big gulp, trying to remove the invisible bulge inside . The person signs to her to sit on the comfortable-looking chair.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Kim,” The practitioner spoke and smile.

Bora nodded but is tense as the practitioner tries to make her comfortable. 

“Do you have any specific thing you would like to recall? To see?” 

Bora stared at the middle-aged man. She was unsure if she wants to—her past—it all looked so violent but it is the reason why she wants to be hypnotized in the first place. She wants to know what she was like before they returned to the city. Before she left her past in that small village. 

“I want to… My past…” Bora sighed, trying to calm herself. “I want to see my past. My childhood.”

The practitioner smiled.

“Okay, let’s start by closing your eyes…” Once Bora closes her eyes, the man again speaks. “Now, try to concentrate. Focus on the thing you want to see…”

Bora did what she was told. 

At first, it was only darkness she saw, then she heard a ringing sound before her consciousness was pulled towards a place where everyone was in a panic. She was beside a mother and a child, confused not until she heard a familiar voice. Bora turned to them, seeing the woman she longed for all her life…

“Mom…”

“Bora, stay here, okay? Mommy will just help the people. Don’t stray, please. Be a good girl.”

That moment, Bora can’t help but be in tears, it will be the nth time she will see her mother for the last time, but this moment felt surreal as she saw the beautiful features of her mother for the first time. It was nothing like a dream, she feels like watching a movie of her memories. Then, she heard the faint voice of the man.

“Ms. Kim, what do you see?” 

“My mom,” She trembled, the tears already running to her cheeks. “I’m seeing her for the last time…”

Bora looked at the child, seeing the glimmering eyes of her as her mother, soaked in water run towards her cradling a child somewhat her age.

“Mommy! You did it!” 

She was jolly back then…

“Yes, but mommy needs to save the other people inside still… I have a mission for you. I need you to protect this kid, okay? That way, you can be a hero someday, promise?” 

“Yes, I will. I’m strong like mommy!” 

Then, she saw the woman smile at the kid. At this point, she can no longer hold her tears back. Sobbing, she heard the child console the little kid. Saying how strong her mother was and that she will save everyone. Naïve, but it is what she still believes to this day.

She looked around but stayed near herself who’s trying to distract the child kid by her stories about her mother. Right then, she heard the man’s voice again. Right when she saw a familiar face.

“Ms. Kim, are you okay?”

“Yes,” 

“What do you see?”

“Siyeon… The child… Siyeon…”

Around that time, Gahyeon and Dami were outside the office and watching through a small monitor. Bora mentioning Siyeon made them more focused, looking at each other as if they also knew what was going to happen.

“Sooyeon…? Sooyeon? Sooyeon!” 

Bora instinctively removes herself from the path as the child Siyeon rushed towards the kid her little self was consoling. 

“Siyeon…” The child sobbed. “Siyeon… I was so scared! Daddy, mommy… I’m so scared!”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… It was my fault… I’m sorry… I burned the house… Mommy… Daddy…”

Bora’s body felt cold, clenching her jaw as she realized that Siyeon… Siyeon was the one who caused all of this. The reason why her mother died… but why? Why does she keep crying? Even still, mourning as she felt her heart break. 

“Siyeon, she… killed my mom…” 

Dami and Gahyeon gasped. While the man, silently stared at her before asking another question.

“How?”

“Fire… House fire. My mother was a firefighter. My mom tried to rescue her family, but was trapped inside with them… I’m seeing my child self, with Siyeon and her… sister?” Bora was confused, unable to believe Siyeon has a sister.

“Does Siyeon have a sister?” Gahyeon asked Dami who’s as clueless as she is.

“I don’t know… She never told anything other than her family was gone because of the fire. I thought she was an only child…” Then, she remembered something from when they were children. “But I remember one time, I saw Siyeon holding some picture in her house, and she was crying. And saying sorry over and over. But still…”

Both once again turned to the monitor when they heard the man asked where Bora was now in her memory.

“I’m inside grandma’s house. Dad brought Siyeon and her sister with us. And me… I’m asking where my mom is.”

Bora teared up, knowing full well that her mother already passed by that time and it was Siyeon’s fault…

“Okay, let’s skip a few months after your mother passed away.” When Bora heard the snap of the man’s fingers, suddenly she found herself in the grass field, her child self, having a rock heavy enough for her to use two arms, and the child… Siyeon’s sister, head bleeding.

“Sooyeon! Sooyeon. I got bread from Mrs. Im! Let’s eat! Where are you?”

It was Siyeon, calling her sister. She and her child self both look in her direction. She closed her eyes as she saw Siyeon slowing down, peeking behind Bora who have a rock beside her.

“Bora? Did you see Sooyeon…?”

Bora’s jaw clenched, unable to face the innocent Siyeon. How? Why? Why did she do something like this? She was twisted, cruel. 

“Sooyeon… Why are you sleeping there? Sooyeon…?”

Bora heard a little gasp from Sooyeon, Siyeon quickly placing her in her back as she dashed off towards Bora’s father who was rushing also to them. She saw her father’s concerned look to the child her. 

Then, she's once again inside her grandmother’s house. Now, having to look at the unconscious child. Siyeon holding the hand of her sister. Outside she heard her father’s voice and her grandma. 

“Why did you do that? You nearly killed her? Bora, what’s happening to you?”

It was her father, gripping both of her arms so tight she started crying. He was on the verge of losing it. Then, her grandma gently placed her hands on her father’s wrist, removing it to talk to the crying child.

“Bora… Come here…” 

Her grandma placed herself on the couch which was followed by the child. Her grandma smiled at her and her hair while her father slumped himself on the chair beside the couch, inhaling sharply as he calms himself.

“What’s wrong, my child?” 

Her grandma asked as she continues to her hair. The child calmed down, but Bora herself, can’t stop crying. She can’t believe something like this happened. She wants to say that she has enough and she doesn’t want to know more but it was so selfish of her. For Siyeon to live her whole life with this burden… How did she cope with this?

“Sooyeon, she… Mommy died! She shouldn’t! And Siyeon! She killed mommy! I don’t want them here! They should have died with their mommy and daddy! That way, mommy won’t—” 

Her grandma slapped her, the child was distraught as she tried to process what just transpired. She looked at her grandma’s face. Sadness and pity in her eyes as she looked at the child Bora. Bora now, thinks she deserves that, even more for the things she said. The older woman hugged her, but she breaks free and runs upstairs. Bora followed herself, it was the room she’s using right now…

“I hate them… I hate Sooyeon. I hate Siyeon. I hate daddy. I hate grandma…” 

The little her sobbed. She pities herself.

“I won’t let them live here…”

Then, suddenly everything turned black for her. 

“What happened? Why did it suddenly darkness?” She asked the practitioner. “I can’t see anything.”

“You should focus more. You might be at the part where you’re most traumatized. I understand if you don’t want to continue now…”

“No… I want to see…”

Her brows furrowed as she tried to dig further her mind to see what happened. And when she did, she was standing in front of her child self, behind her was Sooyeon. She looked groggy, the bandage still around her head. 

“Bora…?”

When she realized what her child self was about to do. She desperately stopped her but it was useless, it was only a memory. She grabbed Sooyeon’s arm and dragged her in front of the stairs. 

“No… No, please… Stop… Why…?” She sobbed as she helplessly watched as she shoved Sooyeon at the stairs.

“Ms. Kim, can you tell me what happened?” 

Bora sobbed, she can’t believe she’s now seeing the child’s lifeless body on the ground, there were no sounds after that. All she saw was Siyeon, holding her sister, she looked at her weeping. It was so terrifying. Maybe that’s why… maybe that’s why her father decided to live in the city. To protect Siyeon from her…

“Ms. Kim, do you want to stop it now?”

“No…” she sobbed. “I deserved this…”

“Bora! What did you do?!”

It was her father’s roar as she pursued her. She was about to run, but with shaking knees and one wrong step, she also stumbled upon the stairs and hit her head in the process. And it was the end of her memory from the small village.

“Ms. Kim…” The man was hesitant but once he saw Bora opening her eyes, he asked again. “Do you want to share what you saw?”

“I…” Once again, she started weeping. “I killed Sooyeon… I killed Siyeon’s sister… I…”

The practitioner decided to accompany Bora to the waiting area where Gahyeon and Dami were. There they tried to console Bora, and when she calmed down, they decided to get back to the condo. They didn’t force Bora to say anything and silently accompany her. 

The thunderous clouds above them look very thick…

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A/N: 

I'm so sorry for the long pause in my stories but I hope that I can update now because the past month, I'm so unmotivated to do anything. I hope you enjoyed this update though. Have a great day ahead :)