Irene woke up with a restless feeling in her chest.

Her blankets were too restricting so she pushed them aside and lay on the bed, watching the golden light trickle into her room from behind the curtains. The walls vibrated as she heard the surge of water entering the next door. It was probably her sister taking a shower. She remembered a time when she would be woken up by the sound of the shower. She was a light sleeper and waking up in a bad mood was unavoidable, so she forced herself to wake up earlier. Her sister, to her credit, also made an effort to ease the shower knob gently after realising her morning showers coincided with Irene’s foul mood.

She counted the seconds between each breath, until she heard the tell-tale signs of her parents and sister leaving the house. They used to call out to her to say they were leaving, but that practice stopped sometime after she started school.

She looked at the blank ceiling above her. It was hot and stuffy, but she didn’t feel the urge to open the window and start the day. If she continued lying on the bed, she could pretend the world was at a standstill.

It had been a while since she felt like this.

There was a date on her calendar marked with a red circle. Two dates, actually, that were looming over her.

It was Saturday, which approximately left her with three days to prepare for the presentation, and two days to mentally prepare for the results of her applications.

She saw a new message from Seulgi on her screen. The younger girl wished her good morning and asked if they were still meeting later that afternoon.

She sat up to type out an affirmative reply. Seulgi had been looking forward to their date and she didn’t want to let her down. As one of her many attempts to get to know her better, she had asked Seulgi to plan the date and bring her somewhere that was “her”.

She could tell the other girl was hesitant, but Seulgi hardly disagreed with her. Hence, it came as no surprise for Irene to receive a text with a location and time the next day.

Irene had a couple of hours to herself before meeting Seulgi and she could tell she was probably going to need it.

Seungwan and her had spent the night talking and preparing for their presentation so she didn’t get much sleep. Granted, their time was mostly taken up by conversation, but considering the fact that both of them were familiar with the content, all they had to do was finalise the script and slides.

Speaking to Seungwan turned out to be quite cathartic. Although she didn’t tell the other girl directly, Irene felt like the weight on her chest had lightened somewhat. Despite being physically and mentally exhausted, she reached home feeling calmer than she had felt the entire week.

There was a period before high school where Irene used to walk aimlessly to clear her head.

The whole thing started when her mother was hospitalised and the doctors only allowed one person to visit at a time. Her father would be there whenever he could, and after her sister took on shifts at the restaurant, he spent more time at the hospital.

As for Irene, she would stop by the ward every day after classes, but if her father was there, he would tell her to go home and study because she couldn’t do much at the hospital.

She wasn’t the best at expressing her concern with her words. Hence, it resulted in one of the regular nurses guiding her towards a nearby park to walk off her nervous energy. Being in a hospital setting for prolonged periods of time was said to have its effects. She had taken the nurse up on her advice. Coincidentally, that was how she ended up discovering the playground.

Sometimes walking led her to new places, other times it led her to familiar faces. She had even found herself in Yeri’s neighbourhood a couple of times. Either way, it gave her a chance to clear her head and reflect. She would go through every possibility she could think of and eliminate the irrational ones, which would leave her with the possible and probable options.

After a while, she would realise that her head didn’t feel as cluttered and focusing on the situation at hand didn’t feel as arduous.

She had initially attempted to do the same while she had been on exchange. However, being in an unfamiliar country coupled with an unfamiliar language meant she didn’t feel safe enough to let her guard down.

Maybe it was because talking to Seungwan put her in a contemplative mood, but Irene found herself grabbing her purse and stepping out of the house with no aim in mind. She needed to think.

Before long, she was standing in front of a row of shops.

Craft markets were a means for the locals in town to earn a living on the weekends. They mostly sold keychains, trinkets and souvenirs; most of which were handmade.

The weekend crowd drew in a steady buzz of conversation around her, which made it difficult for her to hear her own thoughts. Until, she turned a corner and found a relatively empty alley. The road was hidden in shadow, so the heat wasn’t unbearable despite the hot sun glaring overhead.

She chanced upon a staircase with a dainty menu attached to the wall and smiled to herself. It was exactly what she was looking for.

Irene could smell the lavender scent the moment she walked through the doors. A cursory glance told her that her cousin and Sooyoung would probably enjoy the atmosphere, so she made a mental note to bring them along the next time.

People on the street were flitting from shop to shop. They could be aimlessly walking, like her, but their attention was caught on the crafts that hung from every store. It was easy to tell which were the people who were visiting for the first time. The newcomers always entered the first few stores and came out with multiple bags, only to find that other stores nearby sold similar items for different prices.

She slowly sipped the colored drink that rested on her table, as condensation caused drops of water to pool at the base of her cup.

It was strange to think that she would be facing the prospect of graduation soon. She still felt like her school life wasn’t over yet.

The realisation that she would have to face the results of her college applications and then start college within the year, finally hit her recently. She had submitted her applications early, after her father asked for the list of schools she applied to.

He was satisfied, as he should have been. After all, Irene had sent applications to the schools her parents recommended. However, there was one she slipped in without anyone else noticing.

She hadn’t even realised how much she wanted it, until Seungwan talked about making the choice for herself. Hence, the last thing she did was to send off an application just before the deadline.

It was an arts school so their admission period different from the business courses. Furthermore, the likelihood of receiving the responses from the other colleges first was higher. Those were for her parents; the last one was for herself.

Part of her just wanted to try and see if she had what it took to get in. The other part of her wanted to do something to show her parents that she wasn’t just a robot who followed what they wanted. At the end, she would still have to make the final decision on her own, but it seemed like she had finally taken a step off the given path.

She couldn’t help but associate part of it to Seungwan.

Seungwan had been confusing her lately.

At first, thinking about the younger girl had been annoying. Irene had been content with not speaking or interacting with her throughout their school term. Yet, now that they had spent more time together than she would have imagined, it was as though nothing could satisfy her. It annoyed her in a completely different way now because as much as she would like to admit otherwise, Seungwan was often on her mind.

Her eyes would naturally scan the classroom for her during English classes. It was a natural reflex to satisfy her curiosity about whether her groupmate was in class. She could tell whenever Seungwan was particularly absorbed in a passage or chapter. She didn’t speak up too often, but Irene found herself hoping to hear her voice, even if it was just to clarify or challenge another person’s point.

One of her friends had called her out on it once, but she attributed it to concern for her groupmate because they needed to discuss the project. The trouble with people knowing her was that people noticed things. And people talked.

She was glad that it was only Byulyi who noticed, because the only person Byulyi would tell was Yongsun. Yongsun, the pretty and goofy senior who also happened to be one of Irene’s friends. At least, Irene had the security of knowing that the information would not travel beyond them.

However, now wasn’t the time to deal with all of that.

She could think about all those confusing things later. For now, the time alone had cleared her mind and she felt ready to face the world again.

Irene stared absently at a cloud that drifted lazily across the blue sky, content for the moment to simply rest and be present in the moment.

Maybe it's not all that serious. Maybe I don't need a plan. Maybe I should just see what happens and figure it out from there.

A clink to her right reminded her that time actually hadn’t stopped. The earth was still turning. She looked at her glass. The water had grown into a puddle around the base, threatening to spill over the edge of the coaster. The melting ice cubes created an illusion that her drink was still unfinished, even though she had long since been finished with it.

In some ways, she found that the thought resonated with her.

The surge of commotion on the street signifies that a new flurry of people had entered.

Irene lifted her phone screen, and watched the minute increase by one. Her eyes flicked to the hour and she placed her phone back on the table.

Maybe I should make my way to the station.

~~

It wasn’t too long before she heard a familiar voice.

“Hi Joohyun-unnie! Did you wait long?”

“No, I arrived not long ago.” She replied.

There was a second of awkward hesitation before Seulgi gestured to an exit with a laugh.

“Shall we go?”

Irene nodded and followed along behind her.

“Where are we going?” She asked after a few minutes of walking in silence.

“You’ll see! I’ve always wanted to go to a place like this, but I’ve never had the time or person to go with.”

“Oh, I see.” It made her even more curious about what kind of place Seulgi had chosen to bring her to. The streets were dark and the sporadic lamps stood imposingly on the corners of sidewalks. It didn’t look like a promising path to follow.

However, Seulgi was steadfastly placing her trust in Naver Maps. Her eyes were glued to the screen as she followed the path carved out for her on the map. At certain points, the lit screen was the only source of light around them. Irene kept her eyes on their surroundings, lest they encounter any unsavoury people. Seulgi also could be rather clumsy at times and she didn’t want the younger girl to trip or miss a step.

She knew they had been walking for a while when the pavement changed to grass. Irene was close to asking Seulgi if she knew where she was going when the younger girl looked up from her phone without warning.

“Ah! It should be just up ahead!”

Seulgi’s strides suddenly lengthened and Irene had to jog after her to keep up with her pace. She was a dancer but Seulgi always had the longer legs between the two.  

The path cleared, and Irene realised they had stumbled into a parking lot of sorts. However, the surrounding field that was normally empty was occupied by tents covered by dangling fairy lights.

“Tada~!” The taller girl did a small twirl, spinning her arms around. Irene looked around at the twinkling lights.

In the distance, she could hear the swoop of the rollercoaster as it plunged, accompanied by the chorus of screams from the people who were along for the ride.

“Have you ever been to a place like this?” Irene shook her head, partially in awe of the makeshift tents and rides around her. She had heard of traveling carnivals and funfairs but this was her first experience with one.

“Good!” Seulgi’s smile reached her eyes. “Let’s have a lot of fun tonight, unnie!”

She allowed Seulgi to lead her to the ticketing booth and past the gantry after getting their tickets.

“What would you like to do first?” Seulgi was looking at her expectantly. Irene looked around them. Most of the rides were either high speed rollercoasters, rides that dropped from high places, or both.

It then occured to her that Seulgi was probably unaware of her fear of heights.

/Okay, that could potentially be an issue./

“I’m not-“ She paused, debating whether she should actually say anything.

“What is it, unnie?” Seulgi asked, concern filling her voice. She looked around. “Is the place too crowded?”

“I’m not really good with rollercoasters.” Irene said instead.

“Oh.” Irene knew she made the right decision when Seulgi exhaled in relief. “That’s alright. I’m not really into rollercoasters either.”

“I’ve always wanted to see what the atmosphere was like.” She explained. “So, why not we play some games, maybe get some snacks, and if there’s any ride we want to try, we can line up for it?”

The way Seulgi tried to make her feel comfortable made Irene feel even more lacking.

The feeling didn’t go away even when Seulgi tugged her hand towards the game stalls. It persisted when she won both the shooting and dart games, and after she was asked to select the prizes. After shooting all the targets and beating the other players, Irene picked a medium sized bear plush toy and handed it to Seulgi without hesitation. The taller girl clutched the bear happily, and it made Irene forget about her stress for a while.

“Which of these do you want for your prize?” The staff member asked, after she had won a prize ticket from the balloon she had popped with the dart. “You can select one of the plush keychains.”

She spotted a rabbit amongst the bunch, but somehow she ended up pointing to the round hamster sitting beside it.

“Eh? Joohyun-unnie, I thought you would have picked the rabbit.” Seulgi commented as they were walking away.

“This was cuter.” She answered quickly, stuffing the hamster keyring into her bag. The other girl shrugged and dropped the subject as soon as she spotted stalls with cotton candy and snacks.

Between the two of them, they finished a potato hotdog and cotton candy, while Irene had a stick of tteokkkochi to herself.

“Oh! Shall we go on that?” Seulgi was pointing to the giant rotating wheel in the middle of the carnival space.

“The Ferris-Wheel?