“Unnie,” Yeri began. “I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s with you lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“Calling me all of a sudden, asking about who I’m hanging out with, and even insisting that we meet today.” Yeri looked around the cafe. “Not that I’m complaining, but it’s a bit out of character of you.”

She gave her a somewhat thoughtful stare, shovelling another spoonful of ice cream into . “Are things with Seulgi-unnie alright?”

“I’m always concerned about you. You’re my cousin.” Irene answered, although it wasn’t really answering. Admittedly, she wasn’t someone who displayed an overt amount of attention on her cousin. However, she had hardly spent time with Yeri recently, due to club activities and project work.

With the new stress of adding a relationship into the mix, she found it hard to shake the fear that her and Yeri would drift and she would lose the easy friendship she had with her.

Granted, the other reason she had specifically picked this day to insist on Yeri’s company because it was the first day she was completely free.

Seungwan and her had mostly completed their presentation and they were ready to submit their finalised slides. She had asked if the other girl wanted to meet and re-arrange some points for their slides but Seungwan had told her she wasn't free.

She had offered to finalise the slides and do up the aesthetics on their behalf, but her messages hadn’t been read. Normally, she wouldn't be bothered by slow replies, but she found herself checking the chat periodically, only to be disappointed at the lack of response.

The younger girl usually replied quickly when it was about work. Hence, it made her wonder if she was busy with something else she hadn’t told her about. She had thought they were getting closer, but perhaps her sentiments were not shared. She knew it was irrational for her to get so affected when Seungwan had a life outside of school, but every time she looked at the messages, she felt the urge to do something to get her attention.

Checking the chat so often made her feel like a clingy girlfriend, which couldn’t be further from the truth, so she decided to steadfastly prohibit herself from opening the chat, even if Seungwan decided to message her.

She would give her a taste of her own medicine.

“Seulgi and I are fine.” She added as an afterthought, clearing and consecutively, her mind. “Thanks for asking.”

“Alright…” Another mouthful of ice cream disappeared into the younger girl’s mouth but her eyes were sharp. “That’s good to hear. After all, she’s the only person who can bear with your philosophical babbling…”

Irene held back a laugh.

“But you don’t call me for no reason, nor have you ever asked me for the names of my friends.” Yeri pointed the spoon in her direction, accidentally causing a few drops of ice cream to land on the table. Irene huffed but immediately acted on instinct, wiping up the spilt ice cream without comment so that the staff wouldn’t have to deal with it later.

“That’s because you’re always with Sooyoung.”

“Or Wendy-unnie.” She added helpfully. “She’s been bringing me to eat a lot of good food lately.”

“Your tutor?” It was a rhetorical question because who else could it be?

They even went for karaoke together. Clearly they were more like friends than a mere tutor-student relationship. She recalled hearing Sooyoung’s loud cheers and someone else singing. She supposed that would have been Wendy, given the circumstances. She couldn’t hear the other girl’s voice clearly but she was definitely vocally talented.

Yeri nodded affirmatively. “Yep, she’s the best.”

There were a few minutes of silence where Irene didn’t know how to continue the conversation. Yeri continued eating as though nothing was wrong. It was probably because they’ve known one another for years and Irene has never been someone who felt compelled to carry out conversations. Yeri obviously knew her well enough to be accepting of that.

There was a surge of guilt she felt about not knowing more about her cousin’s life. She had been there when Yeri bombarded her with questions about how tampons worked and even when she had her first crush. Yeri always shared parts of her life with her, and Irene listened and gave her opinions.

Despite the age difference between them, Yeri felt more like her younger sister than her actual sister. Yeri’s parents weren’t always free to give her attention, so Irene often brought Yeri out to play as a child. Other than herself, her cousin was the only other person whom she had brought to her favourite playground. She had organised and attended Yeri’s birthday parties because her parents were too busy to do it themselves.

Now that they were older, there was a constant struggle for her to reconcile the Yeri she knew now and the tiny girl who came to her in tears when she spilled chocolate milk on her party dress.

Irene had washed and ironed her dress that day because Yeri didn’t want to go home and get scolded by her parents. She had sat on Irene’s bed wearing her clothes that hung off her body.

Yeri was now a teenager who was capable of making her own decisions. She wasn't a child anymore. Irene knew that. She was still funny and sweet, but their interactions had changed along with their ages. In the beginning, she had been Yeri’s sole confidante, the one who got her out of trouble. Yeri was the eldest in her family so Irene became the older sister she didn't have and had to be. However, she had to admit that Yeri was also growing into her own person and she had her own friends and social circle apart from her. Yet, she couldn’t deny that she was a little jealous that her cousin had found other people to confide in. 

“Joohyun-unnie,” Yeri was looking at her again, but her gaze was filled with concern instead of her usual playfulness. “I know you’re usually the one who listens to my problems but you know you can talk to me about anything right?”

Grateful, Irene nodded.

“Has uncle been pressuring you again?” Yeri was more than aware of the way her parents tended to place their expectations on her. Irene didn't like to complain about her familial situation, but she had divulged enough for Yeri to know that while they weren’t intending to be imposing, they weren’t open to considering their daughter’s own aspirations either.

“Nothing more than usual.” Irene replied, shifting in her seat. Being on the receiving end of Yeri’s scrutiny was not a comfortable experience.

“Okay.” The younger girl relaxed. “By the way, you haven’t told me how you and Seulgi-unnie started dating.”

“What?” She was thankful she hadn’t picked that moment to take a sip of her drink, because she would have probably choked. Yeri was still waiting for answer.

“We just started seeing one another recently. It’s exclusive but too soon to be official yet.”

“Okay. So, tell me, what do you like about her?” Yeri leaned forwards on her elbows, her palms supporting her cheeks. She was the perfect imitation of a child waiting for a treat. Irene wanted to roll her eyes. It would make sense that Yeri would take the opportunity to grill her on her love life.

“She’s a great listener and she’s comfortable to be around.” Irene said, after some consideration.

“That sounds like something I can say about a friend, or pet, or Sooyoung when she’s not being annoying, for that matter.” Yeri commented, seemingly dissatisfied with her answer. “There has to be something that attracted you to her to begin with. How does she make you feel?”

It was only after considering the question that she realised she didn't have an answer for her. She liked being around Seulgi, but they were still getting to know one another. While she had the comfort of knowing how the other girl felt about her, she couldn't say she was clear about her own feelings. She could, at the very least, see the possibility of growing feelings for Seulgi, and she did want to try and see how things went. It didn't mean that she stopped feeling guilty for the situation, but she owed it to her to try and be better.

“She makes me feel like a normal girl.” The words came out quietly. “I feel like I’m in control of the situation and she’s understanding about giving me the space I need to figure things out.”

She hoped it was good enough to satisfy the younger girl. She didn't know what exactly her cousin had picked up on, but now that her interest was piqued, Irene knew that Yeri would be taking more of an interest.

Yeri held her gaze for a beat.

Then, she nodded. “Okay, as long as you’re careful. Now that you’re seeing someone, you can try out more cafés and then you can treat me.”

Irene rolled her eyes then. Of course.

“Oh right, speaking of food, there’s this place around the corner with kimchi fried rice and it’s to die for!” Yeri’s eyes were wide with wonder and excitement. Irene secretly exhaled a sigh of relief at the change of topic. “Wendy-unnie and I found it by accident a few months ago, but it’s so addictive that we’ve been going every few weeks.”

“Is it the food that tasty?” Irene inquired. As many times as she’s seen Yeri over dinner, be it familial events or otherwise, the younger girl rarely showed this side of her. If it was good, she was prepared to try it for herself, even if it was just to see what her cousin liked to eat.

“What kind of food do they serve?”

Yeri hummed. “Actually, I don't think the food is unnie’s style, so it’s probably not worth your time.”

She raised her eyebrows at the younger girl. It made her even more determined to enquire about the shop.

“Do they have tteokbokki?”

“Tteokbokki?” Yeri repeated. She leaned back in her seat, trying to recall. “I remember seeing it on the menu but we always order the kimchi fried rice so I’ve never tried it.”

Irene thought about it. Even if it was good, it would probably be the second best tteokbokki she had tasted in her life.

Just after the tteokbokki that Seungwan had brought her to eat the other day, and her grandmother’s recipe.

Yet another reminder of the younger girl. Irene was beginning to wonder if something was wrong with her.

She could blame it on the fact that her groupmate had become a lot less annoying lately, which was annoying because she was starting to pop up in Irene’s mind randomly. She wasn't sure whether it was because she had realised that her initial assumptions were unfounded or because they had been spending more time together. Either way, it was something she hadn’t expected.

It had started with project meetings, but ever since Seungwan brought her to the Korean restaurant, it was as if something had shifted with their relationship. She was learning something new about the younger girl almost every day.

She found out that her classmate hummed when she thought no one was listening. It was rather endearing and she discovered it completely by accident. It was one of those days when they were sitting side by side, reading research papers and articles for their paper. Usually they would be listening to their own music. On one of those occasions, she had gotten caught up in reading an article and forgotten to select a playlist. Irene had been about to ask the other girl about something, only to realise that she was unconsciously humming a melody under her breath. It had been endearing enough to distract her into forgetting her question. Not that she was ever going to tell Seungwan that.

The following meeting, Seungwan had brought her to an exhibition at an art gallery. The exhibit was said to contain a number of literary pieces from authors all over the world and Seungwan had wanted to research the other authors who had published books during the same time period they were researching on. How much research they actually managed to complete was negligible, but it didn't bother Irene as much as she would expect.

However, Seungwan being Seungwan, her project mate had unintentionally mistook the dates. It had been amusing to watch Seungwan panic when they reached the counter and discovered that the exhibition was scheduled for the next month.

The younger girl had gone to the information desk and come back with flaming red cheeks, such that Irene had to really struggle to control her laughter. Her groupmate had looked as though she had committed a crime against her. Under normal circumstances, she would have berated the person for wasting her time and leave. However, she didn't feel any of the irritation she was expecting to feel. Instead, her main concern was finding something to do together and alleviating Seungwan’s guilt. Thus, Irene suggested walking around the gallery and going for one of the current exhibitions.

That was also the day she found out Seungwan had the most random thoughts. They were staring at a description when she suddenly blurted out a quote from Leonardo Da Vinci.

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” Seungwan had said out of the blue. It had been so random that she couldn't help but laugh on the spot, much to the younger girl’s surprise.

Frankly, Irene was more surprised about the fact that she could remember the quote than about Seungwan being able to recite it. She had been learning a number of things about herself recently, which somehow seemed to only happen when she was with the younger girl.

After that random comment which broke the ice, Irene became comfortable enough to talk a bit about herself. Whenever she came to galleries, she was reminded of her classes abroad. She had been encouraged to pursue any subject she wanted, even liberal arts, which was different from the stigma she experienced back home.

“I had an art teacher once tell me that the difference between a good painting and a great painting is typically five . And they’re usually the five boldest in the painting. The question, of course, is which five ?” She had commented, while they were standing in front of an abstract looking painting. To most people it was a splash of colour, random, messy, with no direction. However, she saw different emotions, mixing in a swirl that somehow made a lot and no sense at the same time.

She wondered if Seungwan was like that too.

The other girl had been studying the same painting with an intense expression. “A painting can be good, but if their last is too bold, the piece could be ruined.”

“On the other hand, the bold could be a good one. Hence, maybe that suggests that one shouldn't settle for less out of fear.” Seungwan suggested, before they moved to the next row of sculptures.

Irene had thought about her college applications sitting untouched on her desk, her family business, and even Seulgi, and wondered if she was settling with any of them.  The comment was meant as food for thought, but Irene dwelled on the subject as they made their way through the exhibition.

They had made it through most of the exhibit before she remembered she hadn’t replied Seulgi’s messages from the night before. Feeling slightly guilty, Irene had taken some pictures and sent them to her. After all, her girlfriend also had an interest in art, and sharing things was something that girlfriends were supposed to do.

A quick glance over, however, had shown Irene that the other girl hadn’t read any of her messages either. Hence, it was safe to assume that the dancer was busy. Instead of feeling troubled, she felt a sense of relief. It was just as well because Irene herself was devoting more time towards other things.

Part of her wondered if this, the nonchalant feeling, was normal. She looked forward to their meetings and conversations, although the frequency of their texts had decreased somewhat, ever since becoming official. She should be more bothered, but she found herself thinking more about a certain brunette with shorter height and hair length than the person she was dating. That was probably what she should be feeling more guilty about. 

The weeks had flown by and it was beco