Shuhua didn’t stay. 

And Soojin didn’t ask her a second time.

_

“Hi, sweetie.” Irene places a kiss onto Soojin’s head, sitting down in front of her on the kitchen island. 

“Yeah, hi.” Soojin mumbles dejectedly, chin resting on her palm, as she plays with her breakfast. 

Irene raises her brows in question, a fond smile on her lips. “Everything okay? What’s wrong, baby?” She reaches over to fix Soojin’s bangs away from her eyes, before focusing back on making her first coffee of the day. 

“Nothing.” Soojin mumbles, a heavy sigh leaving her lips. 

“Jin.” Irene’s voice was sharp. 

Soojin waits for Irene to finish making her coffee and when she turns back around, Soojin’s pout grows. 

Irene chuckles, taking a sip from her mug. “Penny for your thoughts?” 

“I think I’m broken.” Soojin huffs. 

“Broken?” The older woman looked slightly confused, but she encouraged Soojin to keep talking anyway. 

“Right here. And here.” She jabs a finger on her chest and her forehead. 

“Jin… what’s this about?” Now, Irene was incredibly worried. 

Wendy walks into the kitchen, dressed and ready for work. Irene’s concerned eyes avert towards her fiancé, and Wendy looks at her just as concerned. 

“What?” Wendy asks, walking to stand next to Irene, and stealing her cup of coffee from her for a sip. 

“When did you know you were in love?” The question caught both women off guard, especially because of who the question was coming from. 

Wendy smiles knowingly, turning to her fiancé with love struck eyes. “With this one? Oh, how can I not fall in love at first sight when she’s this beautiful?”

Irene hums, “that’s cheesy.” But a kiss was earned anyway. 

Wendy blinks out of her trance, focusing back on Soojin who wore a look of disgust. 

“Gross.” 

Wendy rolled her eyes, “Why are you asking these questions? Are you… perhaps... in love?” She gasped, feigning surprise, a dramatic hand to her chest. 

Irene laughs, copying her fiancé in her antics, “Soojin? In love? How could this be? In all her twenty three years of living, I don’t think she’s ever been romantically interested in… well anyone…” 

“Guys…” Soojin whines, tiny sounds of her feet pattering on the floor could be heard. “I’m serious!” 

Irene’s smile was motherly, as she rounded the kitchen island to give the distressed woman a hug. “Is this about Shuhua?” She mumbles into Soojin’s hair, swaying a little to soothe her. 

“Yes and no. Yes, because she’s making me realize how incapable I am of understanding these stupid feelings, and no, because this is about me being emotionally unaware.” Soojin rambles in frustration. 

“You’re not emotionally unaware, Jin.” Wendy shakes her head, “something’s just holding you back from allowing yourself to fully acknowledge your feelings.” 

Soojin blinks at her. 

“What’s holding you back? Why are you scared to admit that you have feelings for that girl?” Wendy was asking her all the right questions, but Soojin just didn’t have the answers to it yet. 

“I-I’m not…” Soojin starts, gulping down the lump in . She doesn’t finish her sentence. Soojin probably didn’t have the words to finish it anyway. 

“Clearly, you like Taiwan. You think about her all the time, you care about her, and look how in distress you are.” Wendy points out. 

“You’re scared of something.” 

Soojin leans into Irene, “I-I don’t know..” 

“I-I guess..” Soojin looks to Wendy with fearful eyes, “I’m scared to lose somebody again.” 

Wendy softens. 

“I-I mean, with you guys, I had no control of it. You just came into my life, b-but Shuhua…” Soojin heaves a sigh, “I have control. I have a choice to let it hurt me or not.” 

“Jin,” Irene sits on the stool next to her. 

“You’re already hurting yourself like this. Both of you are hurting.” Irene says, and Soojin’s gaze casts down to her fiddling fingers. 

“She makes you happy, I know it.” The smile that Irene gave her was comforting. “Look how much you’ve changed for the better after she came into your life. Obviously, you are willing. You’ve already let her become such a big part of your life.” 

Soojin looks up to catch Irene’s smile turning cheeky. “The Soojin I used to know would never be this vulnerable with me about her feelings.” 

Soojin rolls her eyes, “yeah, I get it. I’m a changed person.” 

Wendy chuckles, “it’s a good change, babe.” 

“We can give you advice after advice, Jin, but you know the only person you have to listen to is yourself.” Wendy checks the time on her wrist watch, needing to head to work soon. 

“You said it yourself. You’re in control, Soojin.” Wendy also rounds the kitchen island, placing goodbye kisses onto both of their cheeks. 

“Make the right choice. The one that will make you happy.” She whispers, pinching Soojin’s nose like she did when they were younger. 

“And when you do make the right choice… maybe think about inviting lil Taiwan to dinner one night.” Wendy winks, and Irene grins at her fiancé’s cheeky antics. 

“Muah! I love you both!” 

_

“Are you not going home for the holidays?” 

Lia looks up from the ground, broom in hand, as she sweeps the floor of the bar. 

Soojin glances at her from her spot behind the bar, doing her own clean ups in preparation of closing up for the night. 

They haven’t exactly been on friendly terms. Nothing more than work related conversations, and maybe bickering about not getting their job done from either side. 

“I am.” Lia’s response was short. 

Soojin hums, focusing back onto her task of drying the shot glasses. She feels Lia’s heavy stare, but she refuses to look up and acknowledge it. 

“H-How about you?” Lia asks, voice dripping with awkwardness. 

Soojin’s lips tilt up into a subtle smile, one that Lia probably couldn’t see from where she was standing. She lifts her head up to look at Lia again, “New York is my home.” 

Lia nods her head, “see, I wouldn’t know that. You weren’t exactly willing during our conversations…. I don’t think we talked much, actually.” 

Soojin’s laugh was genuine. “Yeah, we didn’t.” 

Lia’s body relaxes a little after hearing Soojin’s laugh, and she shifts on her feet. Her fingers are still awkwardly tapping on the length of the broom. 

“I’m sorry, Lia.” 

The apology surprises her, and Lia doesn’t know how to respond. opens and closes, but she doesn’t actually make a sound. 

Soojin sighs, leaning against the counter. “For the way that I’ve treated you. I apologize. I should have considered your feelings, and—,” Lia cuts her off, “but you did.” 

“You did consider them. You were respectful about them. You were honest with me, and you didn’t use me for my body like others would have.” Lia’s chuckle was sad, “I just kept pushing it.” 

“I should be the one apologizing.” Lia walks closer towards the bar where Soojin was. 

She takes a seat on one of the stools, and rests her chin on her palms. “God, I don’t even know why I acted that way.” 

Soojin offers her a smile, “well… I’ve come to learn that feelings make us do and become something that is unknown to us.” 

Lia raises her brows in question, “you?” 

Soojin doesn’t answer her, sullen, as she places the last glass cup face down with the others. 

“Wow.. Seo Soojin…” Lia chuckles softly. “So what’s the problem? It doesn’t look like you’re havi