YOUR, skin radiated heat from the boiling hot shower that occurred short of five minutes ago. it tended to be your escape from the real world, the sensation of water falling past your flesh. after a shower, it was a near ritual to do self-care. neatly, wrapping the beige towel around your frame, you peer into the mirror ahead to be sure you were tucking the ends of the towel in correctly above your chest. it tended to fall off anyway, you just could never cover yourself with a towel correctly— one of your many faults. usually though, when it falls you just leave it because you can’t be bothered to go through the same struggle again. timmy shouldn’t be home for about another hour, he’d been out for dinner with his family in the city. you always urged him to spend time with them because he never really gets to, plus you were actually able to pamper yourself. 

a jar of laura mercier skin moisturizer collided with your fingertips. you applied small amount to the apples of your cheeks, and t-zone. only if you knew what was on the other side of that slender door. notably, it’s not that you were insecure fully. but, it was that timothèe hasn’t seen you , before. he knew that since the trauma from your relationship was damaging enough that you weren’t ready for anything intimate just yet. you just didn’t know what to think, what if i’m not like his last girlfriend?

only then, are you jumping back against the bathroom wall, towel thudding beneath you, to be met with timothée jolting the bathroom door open. he didn’t know wether to stare or permanently punch himself in the face. your eyes dart down, frantically trying to cover your body with both your hands but failing. 

“get out! please— just go!” you whimper whilst slightly yelling. the small brown teddy bear he had from his childhood was behind his back. his mother brought it to dinner, wanting to give him something when he was on the tour for filming to remember home. yet, timothée planned to give it to you or when he was gone for filming to remember him by. timothée’s face grew displeased and saddened by your reaction. he didn’t know that when he opened the doors that he’d see you completely undressed on the other side of it. he couldn’t comprehend, there was no rush for him to see your body but there’s no reason for you to be ashamed of him seeing it. he adjusted the dark blue cap that adorned his tufted curls. he thinks it’s evident that you won’t want to be in the same room as he so he finds his slouched features plopping down onto the black comforted living room couch. 

why didn’t you do something, you should’ve done something..

you thought, to most it wouldn’t be considered this prominent idea that you’re making it. but, when you come from feeling like your body makes you worthless, you couldn’t help it. you already know that timothée’s doubting himself right now, he didn’t even get a word out without you shouting at him.

you rush to dip your legs into a pair of , throwing a metallica over sized t-shirt that belonged to timmy. dashing down the stairs, you see him his legs clad adidas track pants propped up on the ottoman. the familiar sounds of kid cudi humming from the tv speakers. your feet turn inward at his, kneeling down to be leveled with his eye sight. 

his emerald orbs were ever so glazed over, small reddened bags beneath his eyes. you acknowledged a tiny stuffed bear sitting on the cushion past him. lifting his chin a bit so you could be granted his attention.

“d-didn’t know you didn’t have any clothes on yet .. or i would’ve knocked,” his raspy voice wavered. his words gleaned thoughtfulness already and your heart picked up pace tenfold. 

“stop it baby, it’s alright,” you reassure, rubbing your thumb the sides of his chilled jaw. “one day i’m gonna be able to show you all of me, today isn’t that day.”

“but, you’re so frightened by me catching even a glimpse of what’s beneath your clothes and i’ll always respect that,” he breathes “i just need you to be aware that i already think the world of it. i dream of the day that you’re completely comfortable around me.” 

his words leave you trembling almost, falling into his grasp whilst he pulls you into his lap. 

“shouldn’t have yelled at you,” you mumble, disregarding his soothing notions. 

“shh, i got you something mi amour,” he places his soft finger tip over your lip, reaching his arm beside you for his found again friend. you grin into his shoulder at the tiny brown bear, with a khaki belly. it looked slightly beaten up, but still held its value. “this is mini.” 

you stare in awe as timothée waved its plush arms with his two fingers. 

“had him til i was eleven, but mom found him again and brought him to dinner .. for me to have when i’m traveling .. but i wanted to give it to you for that exact reason.” 

you reach for it but he hold it up a bit higher so that you can’t reach.

“you can only have him if you give me a big kiss.” 

so, you place a meaningful kiss to his plump pink lips.