Coffee and Cigarettes and Everything in Between

Winter

I woke up feeling a bit nauseated. I wasn't able to sleep much over the weekend. Time seems to pass by much more slowly without you here. Or is it that I just got used to you being here that even a day of not seeing you feels like an eternity already? Whatever the answer is it still doesn't hide the fact that sleep wasn't on my side these past few days.
There was this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach which kept me awake despite of the ungodly hour. It certainly didn't help that you weren't able to contact me in any form and the fact that you were with blondie and his friends whom I didn't know.

Am I too clingy? It's only been two days yet I miss you already. Am I too needy? I wasn't able to do anything for the past two days. I tried painting but the thought of you lingers at the back of my mind that I can't start anything as much as a of line.

How are you doing? Are they treating you well there? Endless questions and possibilities strike my mind every second that I'm almost starting to lose it. My thoughts, my mind eating me up. 

I'm not going anywhere...

Your voice started to ring in my ears every time just when I'm about to succumb to my insecurities, my doubts, my thoughts.

I'm not going anywhere...

Your words that I held onto when you kissed me goodbye as you leave for your trip.

I'm not going anywhere...

Your words that served as my reminder that you'll come back to me every single time.

Giselle suggested for me to go out and roam around the city. She said that spending my time laying down on the couch wouldn't do me any good. I can't have her worrying over me. The final reading of her case is in two days. She's worked hard for over two months already so I pick my up and went for the door.

I decided to went to the mall but it was just too huge of a place to wander around that I eventually hit the exit. I started to walk around until I ended up in the park. The very first place I took you for our first ever date. It's Monday so not a lot of people are present. Mostly adults walking their pets around and a few bystanders filled the area.

As I bask in the afternoon sunlight I suddenly remembered our first date. You were so beautiful with the sun behind you, cigarette in hand. While I was so nervous back then as I finally got to take you out on a date. How long has it been since then? More or less eight months? I'm not sure. Time seems to fly whenever I'm with you.

"Winter?" A voice called out taking me out of my reverie. I looked around trying to find where it came from when it suddenly called again. "Winter? It is you!" The voice said as it's owner sat down beside me. Ningning. That's why it sounded so familiar.

"Hi." I meekly greeted. She's still her same cheery self which I'm thankful for because I was never great at holding or starting conversations except when it comes to Giselle and Karina. "What are you doing here?"

"Giselle told me to get out of the apartment and get some fresh air."

"You're probably missing Karina unnie huh?"

"Yeah." I drag along my response not really knowing what to say next.

She sighs as she relax on the bench. "I know. Me too. I don't have anyone to go shopping with so I decided to walk around to pass time since I'm not in the mood to go home yet so here I am." Her words made me smile. Ningning and her shopping habits and apparently I'm not the only one missing Karina.

Silence followed after that. A thought came to my mind. Should I ask her about Karina? About blondie? If she knows him? Wouldn't it be awkward to ask her about Karina since we really haven't known each other that long except for the daily familiar greetings on the cafe and the first meeting on the mall last time. And will she even answer me?

"What is it?" She says as as she face me. "Huh? What do you mean?" Not really understanding her words. She smiles and rolled her eyes at me. "You want to ask me something right?" How did she kn