Coffee and Cigarettes and Everything in Between

Winter

I have been staring at the road in front of us for God knows how long ever since I parked in front of her apartment. I know she's been wondering why I haven't said a word to her but she hasn't made a move to confront me about it.

The atmosphere inside my car is a lot tenser than usual. The sounds of our laughter and hushed voices that normally filled the four wheeled vehicle was nowhere to be found. Instead it was replaced by deep breaths and heavy sighs coming from the both of us. The root of mine emerging from my problem: how to tell her that I'd be leaving in ten days while still keeping our relationship floating.

"Just tell her and work it out together" Giselle's advice suddenly played in my head. If only it were that easy.

"Are we just going to sit here all night or are you actually going to tell me the thing that's been bothering you for days now?" She suddenly spoke out of nowhere. I looked at her with plain shocked etched in my face wondering just how she knew that I've been keeping something from her. But instead of being mad at me by the fact that I wasn't telling her things, she did the exact opposite. She looked at me with affection in her eyes and her lips curved up into a small smile.

"You do know," she starts and reached for the point between my eyebrows. "that this little v gives you out right? And add the fact that you've been acting a bit odd these last few days." She retreated her hand ang placed it on her lap. "I put two and two together and I only came up with two possible answers and that answers would be you are either going to break up with me or you're planning a surprise." She let out a cheeky smile before continuing, "Of course I'm hoping for the latter one."

To say that I'm dumbfounded by her words was an understatement. I would never, I mean never have thought or even considered breaking up with her. Why would she even think that? Well if it was you in the same situation you'd actually do worse. My mind answered me.

"I...Karina I... It's—"

"Don't worry I've dealt with break ups before so you don't have to consider my feelings." She said as placed her left hand on top of mine as an act of assurance.

I shook my head to get her words out of my mind because there would be no breaking up that's going to happen tonight or tomorrow or next week.

Looking straight into her eyes, I wet my lips before saying, "Just for the record, I am not, I repeat, I am not breaking up with you if that's what you're thinking. And yes, I've been thinking about some things for the last few days but rest assured that it has nothing to do with us breaking up. I mean I couldn't even...just saying those words are already closing up my throat."

"So what is it? What's there on your mind that got you closed off for a while now?" 

I shifted my gaze back on the road. This is going to be tougher than I initially thought.

"I got accepted in an art school." Even I can't recognize my own voice as the words left my mouth.

"Baby, that's great! Then why a—"

"It's in Chicago." As expected hearing the word Chicago would silence her up. I can't look at her. I can't.

"Is that why you were hesitant on telling me?" Her voice has become silent. Her excitement from just a few seconds ago have left the conversation.

I nodded my head yes.

"I don't get it. I mean I'm going to support you. I won't hold you back if that's what you're thinking."

"It's not that Karina. I just... I'm not too sure about it now."

"What do you mean? Don't tell me...Please tell me that you accepted the offer, Winter." She says with dread laced on her voice.

"I did." Her expression softens this time as she let out a sigh of relief. "It's just that...What if I just stay here? I mean I've already finished my last painting. Just a little touch here and there and I'd be able to open an exhibit." I said as I finally found the courage to face her.

"Winter this is your dream. I mean you've always wanted to attend an art school ever since you've learned how to paint. You told me so yourself."

"I learned that dreams can change." I told her calmly as I let my grip on the steering wheel loosen.

"Then tell me what's your dream now? Tell me that you don't love painting anymore. Tell me that you've gone tired of picking up your paintbrush every single day and only then would I believe you." Her voice was determined, challenging in fact. Like she knew she was right. And she was.

"See? There's no—"

"You are my heart's dream, Karina. How am I supposed to focus over there when my heart is here?"

"Winter