After six months out of the country, Jamie finally coming home.

 

She asked her friends to hang out later at the noon, but no one is available.

 

 Nathan is busy with his project for newest Mnet program, Jae is busy with DAY6 promotions, the other as in Kino, Vernon, and Yugyeom is busy with their idol routine, while she’s the only one whose left and got nothing to do. So she’ll just work on her unfinished songs that she could use for her next album and besides her mini studio needed to be cleaned with all the music sheets around and all the wires and instruments that was being scattered around needed to be kept.

 

She bid goodbyes with her dancers and staff at the airport and go in separate ways.

 

Jamie sighed as she climbs in and settled at the back seat of the van that picks her up. It’s the van from the agency and the driver knows already where to take her so she just closes her eyes to nap.

 

Her brain playing back on the things happened from the day in Canada and US and the mess that she’ve done, the stupid pranks pulled by one of the staff, the shows, the screaming of the crowds, everything.

 

Jamie can’t seem to find some moment that she don’t have smiles on her faces except maybe for that one interview that soon forgotten after few shots of vodka which gratefully help her feel less miserable.

 

She was shaken awake by her driver when they arrive. All her luggage were already at the porch just waiting for her. She thanks the driver and quickly headed to the house, inserted her keys and slowly picks up her luggage and put it inside.

 

The house was— it’s still the same from when she left.

 

 Everything inside was just the same like she didn’t left at all except for few things that were missing.

 

Like their wedding picture frame that was supposed to be at the cabinet near the window, the movie or drama scripts that was filling up the bookshelf at the right side of the TV, the keys in the fish bowl at the entrance, the flowers in the flower vases and even the large wedding picture portray that was at the upper side fronting the couches were all gone. And the fact that nothing barking at her when she enters or the soft ‘welcome home’ she didn’t hear, she didn’t want to think about it but it all comes crushing at her all at the same time.

 

She walks to the kitchen, trying to imagine what the man could possibly be doing in front of the stoves where she can always find him in the morning when wakes up or in the afternoon when she comes home,

 

Either cooking or just cleaning the stove or every kitchen utensils. He’s a clean freak when it comes to those. He wanted everything in the kitchen where it supposed to be and so he can grabbed them easily when he needed it. Even though at first she can’t imagine Seungyoun doing that as she knows the man use to cannot cook at all.

 

Even worse than her.

 

As she roamed around the house, her feet brings her to her mini-studio where the man would usually peek at her when it’s too late like 1 a.m and she’s still in front of the mixer or in the piano or still holding her paper and headphones still in her ears. He’ll chuckle at her then and instead of telling him to go to bed, she’ll just walk out and when she came back it’s with a hot coffee in her hand or anything that could help her go through the night. When a workaholic meets another workaholic, they understand each other lol.

 

 

 

Oh, and here is the living room where almost all their conversations took place.

 

Where Jamie always find the man asleep on their couch while waiting for her when he cannot go and pick Jamie up from anywhere because he’s also busy, sometimes it’s reversed as Jamie is the one who fell aslept there while waiting for him, which always ended in Seungyoun picking her up and carried her into her bedroom.

 

This is also the place where their last shared kiss took place before everything comes to an end. Oh , her heart is tearing apart right now.

 

“Don’t let your doubts be the reason so you could not try,” she remembers Seungyoun ever tells her those words to her.

 

So yeah, this time she won’t.

 

She grabs their house keys and calls a taxi to drove to somewhere she knows where to find that one reason she’s feeling so damn sick at the moment.

 

That one reason she’s feeling so empty even though she’s has everything.

 

That one reason she’s refuse to let go,

 

No matter what happen.

 

“What the hell do you want,” It’s Yugyeom and he’s grumpy so maybe she just disturbed him of whatever he’s doing in the moment as she heard a high pitched voice moaned and ‘faster’, oh okay so it’s really a bad idea to call him but she needs him right now.

 

“Does Seungyoun change his number? I can’t get through him.” as fast as she can so her friend can resume whatever he’s doing.

 

“No, maybe he’s just busy. He’s been rotting at the filming set since last month with the staff,”

 

“Oh okay, uhm, bye.” She told the driver to speed up then. If she’s correct, Seungyoun’s still at the filming studio. It’s just 9 PM so for sure he didn’t go home yet.

 

She immediately located the set where the cast of the movie Seungyoun starred in have their rehearsals.

 

She heard someone was still inside so she slowly opens the heavy door of the studio and there he is, panting while clutching the wooden swords in his right hand with a famous actor whom she knew named Ju Ji Hoon who was also in the same state.

 

“Let’s call it a day, yeah? I’m bruised.” She heard Ji hoon said as he walks into the direction of the bags piled at the side of the studio. “I’ll not be around tomorrow, got something to do with my family, so you’ll be fine resting for a while?”

 

“Yeah no problem, sunbaenim”

 

Seungyoun nodded and drops his wooden swords at the place were the equipment for the rehearsals were being kept.

 

“I’ll go ahead,” Ji Hoon said as another nod from the man whose back was now in them both.

 

Jamie bowed out of respect first before motions to Ju Ji Hoon to keep quite when he saw her and gladly he understood that as he nodded at her after tapping Seungyoun’s shoulder.

 

Ah… a surprise visit huh, I also wants a wife.

 

Ju Ji Hoon understandingly locks the door carefully on his way from outside without wanting to let Seungyoun knows and put the ‘occupied’ sign at the door to give privacy to the couple.

 

Jamie stared at Seungyoun’s back for a good minute or two before she got the courage to step forward, small and slow step to not startle the man who was now massaging his own shoulder and stretching his neck.

 

Jamie reached the man’s torso first that had Seungyoun shocked and moved to turned around but Jamie did not let him as she engulfed him in a bear hug, tightening her hold around his waist and leaning her chin against Seungyoun’s shoulder, that had Seungyoun unable to move, he’s a little scared at the thought some strangers holding him like this, maybe it’s a sasaeng?

 

But not just anyone can get into this room though.

 

And then the person makes little sniff on his back and judging by that trait, the height of the person, and the pretty fingers on his waist, he knows who his captor was. The women whose love to sniff at him and sometimes borrows his clothes just because she told him that he smells good (when in fact he doesn’t use any perfume, it just a smell fabric softener). The women whose responsible for the pain and emptiness in his heart. The women whom he called his bestfriend, his wife, and the love of his life.

 

Seungyoun’s heart raced erratically and he doesn’t know where to breathe,

 

Should he breathe through his mouth or nose or just hold his breath,

 

Because he’s afraid that if he takes even a breath, this women that are still legally labeled as his wife would be gone and everything was just part of another countless wicked dream and he’s going to wake up.

 

He doesn’t want to wake up yet, not when he have this person in close to him like this.

 

If so,

 

Can this dream last forever?

 

But the dream doesn’t and never can compare of how sweet Jamie’s voice in reality as she whispered, “Hey, husband” into his ear. “I’m back,” she sniff again at his shoulder.

 

God, that’s the voice that he had been want to hear, that’s the voice that had been missing all time long,

 

Seungyoun sigh, how can he still be whipped for this women even after what she does to him. But hey, his hearts can’t lie.

 

“I smell bad though,” he said after a few moment of silence, trying to brush away the tension that was now building up. The last time they talk it ended in not so good note, so he rather choose to avoid for it to be happen again. And act like everything is normal.

 

 

“Yeah, I can smell you from the distance,” Jamie chuckles at that and let him go but did not moved away when Seungyoun picked up his thing from the floor, instead she just watched every movement of his body which makes the very aware Seungyoun, have an uncontrollable heartbeats.

 

Now that she got a clear view of his new state, damn the man can melt the atlantic glacier in hotness, like he is so freaking hot. His handsome face is not a new sight, but the manliness as his hair is wet from the sweat, and his arm biceps, the protruded veins on his arm, and his shoulder is looking so wide, and oh don’t forget the abs that subtly showed because of his thin shirt are drenched.

 

Damn… has he always been this hot?

 

She just bite her bottom lip then to suppress her thought because damn she really got a y brain and wild imaginations and the man didn’t even help and just supplies all the image that she needed.

 

She rolled her eyes at herself,

 

‘Hid your needy , Park Jimin. You still have a lot of things to be cleared up.’ She mentally face palmed.

 

“Uh, I’ll just gonna wash up a little and change.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll wait for you outside”

 

“Hmm, you could wait in my car” Seungyoun give his Range Rover’s key to Jamie.

 

“Did I took too long?” Seungyoun who are now dressed in a simple all black hoodie underneath the brown coat, beanie and sweat pants asks as he jumped off to the driver seat.

 

“Nope” Seungyoun only nodded at that.

 

They drove in silence and Jamie’s been squirming in her seat and just wanted to talk but the man was having none of that as he just focuses on driving and stare straight in the road.

 

Not even give any glance at her.

 

Not once.

 

“Do you want to grab something to eat?” they ask each other in unison. That had them both laughing awkwardly. Seungyoun nervously scratching his nape while a peachy colours creeps out Jamie’s cheeks.

 

“Yeah, I’m kinda starving.” Jamie was the first to answer, “don’t really have time to grab any food earlier before the flight”

 

Seungyoun just nodded silently.

 

He already knows that Jamie will be back today as Nathan told him earlier. But he didn’t expect that she would meet him right after she landed, she even come to his filming studio. This is confusing him, her hugs and her intense stares a moment ago. Why did she do that?

 

He maneuvers the car until they’re heading to one of the Japanese restaurants they both love to eat.

 

The restaurants is full with the customer, as it is about a time for dinner, forgetting the fact that both of them is a public figures, they just come in the restaurants without any disguise at all. All eyes of the customers are on them, a few taking their phones out silently takes a picture of them, a few just cooing at how good they looks like in real life or something.

 

Usually the bubbly Seungyoun and Jamie would smiles back and greet them, but this time both of them are tired.

 

Emotionally and physically.

 

So they just put on a cold shoulders and ‘IDGAF’ face, walk straight to the secluded corner of the restaurants.

 

They eat in silence.

 

 Jamie just stares at Seungyoun who are now digging unto his food like a hungry cavemen he is which she always finds cute actually. Cho Seungyoun and his eating habits, Cho Seungyoun and his sleeping habits, Cho Seungyoun and his drunk habits, she remember them all.

 

 Sighing before digging into her ramen, Jamie prays that hopefully, hopefully they can talk seriously after they eat.

 

 

***

01.12 am

 

They both settled in the blanket-covered-sands at Eurwangni Beach as Jamie suggested that she was not ready to go home yet because she said it’s empty anyway. Seungyoun did not comment on that but he let Jamie lead the way and they agreed to take a long drive to the nearest beach for some privacy, half an hour later they’re at the empty beach in the dead of the night.

 

“How are you?” Jamie started.

 

“Fine, I guess” a thrift reply from the man who seated at the end of the blanket approximately 1 meter close to where Jamie was seated.

 

They were in silence for a good minutes, no one talked, they just enjoy each other company with the waves calming sounds, the shining stars in the dark, and the cold autumn breeze greeting them.

 

“…what about you and uhm Jaebum” Seungyoun asked slowly.

 

“We have talked,” she said, Seungyoun nodded in understanding,

 

“Clear up some issues between us. He explains about the reason why he left that day but said he actually still loves me and was just scared of marriage.” Breath, because she needed to for the next sentences she would utter, “He asks for a second chance and I did give him another one, but as-” Seungyoun nodded but Jamie knows that he wanted to be out of here, wanted to go because he doesn’t want to hear the next words because he straightly cut off her words.

 

“It’s okay, I told you. You don’t have to do this, to explain these things, no need to.” It’s too soft, too gentle that if not for Jamie’s good hearing she wouldn’t hear those words.

 

“Just send me the divorce papers then I’ll sign it.”

 

A defeated sigh escapes from as she stares at the man.

 

Jamie look away from the man’s face because she doesn’t want to see how much she hurt him and instead her eyes caught something in Seungyoun’s finger,

 

He’s playing with the ring— their wedding ring—

 

He still use them even after almost a year of not lost contact and Jamie wanted to cry,

 

At the realization of how she is the one who involved Seungyoun into whatever this mess that she created and how this whole time she had taken him for granted. He didn’t deserve this.

 

She felt a guilt gnawed her heart.

 

Because how could she,

 

How dare she,

 

Hurt him…?

 

When all he do was always there for her. When all he do is always keeping his promise, his vow, to never hurts her, even in the slightest way.

 

 

She swallows hard, swallows her tears and look away from the sight.

 

It’s too painful to see.

 

She take in as much oxygen into her lungs so she can be able to open still despite the emotion that was rumbling inside of her, itching to come out. She’s not supposed to be a sappy like this, not supposed to bawl in front of this man she called her closest friend and until this moment, her husband.

 

Not when there’s a lot of things that need to be cleared out,

 

But she can’t hide it anymore, she can’t control it anymore.

 

“You know what?” her voice broke at the end that had the other man’s attention. “You’re too far,”

 

Seungyoun stared at her like she suddenly grows another head, his own teary eyes is squinted in questioned stares that he don’t know if it is for what she said or was it because she’s crying like a teenage girl that gotten her first heart broken in front of him or something.

 

“You’re like Taki, I can hear your voice but I can’t touch you. It’s like we’re in a different timeline,”

 

It’s the same exact word that Seungyoun told her the last time they talked.

 

At their house,

 

“And Mitsuha missed her Taki so much that she found it hards to breathe,” –hiccups— she then gently took the hands of the man who just stared at it,

 

“Can Mitsuha touch her Taki now?”

 

Seungyoun shook his head, “I’m not the Taki that you want,” he said raspily as a single bead of tear rolled out from Seungyoun’s eyes then down to the side of his cheek,

 

“Though I want you to be mine, you’re already someone else’s” His look at her in the eye, and the sight of pain filled smile and trembling lips makes Jamie cried even harder.

 

They are both hurting, but it’s obvious to anyone that he’s the one who are hurted more badly because all of this problem.

 

She let go of his hands then and nodded. She wipes her tears then with the sleeve of her shirt and cleared before saying,

 

“Seungyoun-ah, do you know who I am?” Seungyoun just stared at her,

 

“I am not Mitsuha, I’m Park Jim-- no Cho Jimin, your wife. Cho Seungyoun’s wife. Yours.” The wall was already broken as she let out a sobs that she cannot contain it any longer. He look at Seungyoun who didn’t know what to do at the moment as he just looks at her too,

 

“And I missed my husband so much. Can I at least hold him?”

 

Seungyoun gasps because that was unexpected, “Jimin-ah,”

 

“Would you let me?”

 

“But,”

 

“Oh shut up! You didn’t get it do you?”

 

“But you said you give him another chance, what do you want me to do?!” It’s now Seungyoun’s turn to let out the louder voice with a clear sign of frustration.

 

“That’s why I’m saying sorry, because you’re misunderstanding this whole situation, I know it’s my fault for causing this , but you won’t even let me explains before I left this country, and I tried… I tried reaching out to you, but you’re not even picking up my calls anymore. Why won’t you?”

                                                                                                               

“Because I don’t want to,” Seungyoun whispered.

 

 

“So you don’t want me?”

 

No, he do that because he’s afraid that he will hurts more than this. It just like he’s stuck in his own dilemma.

 

Doesn’t want to text her back, why? Because he’s afraid to be distracted again because if he replied and she reply him back, that’s all the things that he could think of for the day. He’s afraid that his brain would trick him again and he would ended up to be the one whose always hallucinating of another chance for them to continue their marriage when in fact he know that it’s not going to happen.

 

Doesn’t want to pick up her calls, why? Because hearing her voice could makes him lose himself and throw all the efforts that he made to forget his unrequited feelings for her. He could fly to another part of world if it was for her, and that’s why he’s afraid. Afraid of himself that could easily swooned by the delusions of them getting back together.

 

But doing all of that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want her.

 

“Park Jimin,” Seungyoun head tilted in a strong turn, how did Jamie ever get that idea?

 

Of course he wants her, she doesn’t know isn’t she? How bad he wants her? How many sleepless night that he had because of her, how much sacrifice that he do for her, how much sanity and self-discipline that he used in order to fight his own NEEDS and restrain himself for doing all of the things that the women probably won’t ever think of.

 

But before he could say anything to the women,

 

“Cho Seungyoun, I love you for god sakes,” Seungyoun didn’t comment on that but only stares at her. She cannot even read that look in his face right now, like he’s thinking and the same time confused or shocked or something.

 

Silence…

 

“…Bu-but you give him another chance, what for?” He shakes his head. As if he doesn’t believe in her words.

 

She sniffles, “It’s not the kind of chance that you think! I give him a chance as in a chance to be forgiven, so we could be civil with each other as before the chaos that he made. He told me that he’d been beating himself up right after the news of our marriage came out and he apologize, he already got a lot of problem in his hands.”

 

“It’s hard to forgive but i pity him for having to deal with agency and the moral sanction that he got from his friends and family. Yes, he did asked me to get back with him. But I can’t, I won’t, I don’t want to. It’s because I didn’t have any feeling left for him anymore” Seungyoun nodded at that,

 

“I told him that I’m already married, I told him that there’s a person who own my whole heart right now –and forever will—that person is you, my bestfriend, my husband, Cho Seungyoun” He bit his lip so hard that he think its bruised, it feels like there’s a butterfly in his  stomach.

 

“And when you saw me with him at the grocery store, it’s not a date or whatever things that you think. It’s just that he ask me for help to reconcile with , as they gave him cold shoulder for 2 weeks after he’s back. I told him that maybe if they spend some quality time together and talk, everything can be sorted out. So I suggest to do a surprise movie night with , that’s why we need to do a grocery shopping.” Jamie explains.

 

Then something suddenly comes up in Seungyoun’s mind,

 

“But why you took off our wedding ring,” quietly, Seungyoun mutters.

 

“It’s not our ring, it’s just the same but it’s not the ring that you put in my finger in our wedding day.”

 

Confused, Seungyoun looks at her, no stares at her confusing, “What do you mean?”

 

She showed him her right hand then, there it is.

 

The wedding ring with a tiny diamond on top of it, looking as stunning as ever in her pretty finger,

 

“The one that I took off, is the ring that Jaebum supposed to give me in our wedding. The one that are in your fingers and mine right now is the ring that I personally bought when I was in France, but I got the wrong size of his finger so he decided to buy a new one. And at the day of our wedding, i choose to use the ring that I buy on my own and thank god it fits your finger”

 

“Oh,” was what Seungyoun can only mutter because he doesn’t know what else he can say.

 

 

Jamie breath then folded her hands together against her knee. The night was cold and it’s already gnawing at her bare tattooed arms. She forgot to bring jacket since she is so rushed in meeting with her husband whom she missed so much.

 

Seungyoun who see this, moved closer to her before enclosing her smaller form in his arms, covering her with his coat as he drag her hand into his waist. Jamie sighed as the warmth radiated from Seungyoun’s body warmed her up, not only her body but also her heart as she leaned her head in her shoulder.

 

‘It finally feels like home’ both of them thought.

 

“I miss you,” she mumbles against Seungyoun’s chest.

 

“I miss you too,” Seungyoun kissed the top of her head.

 

“Oh ! I have something to tell you,” she tried to moved away but Seungyoun had her in tight grip.

 

“It’s too cold, just stay like this.” He said. So Jamie stayed.

 

“Is it cheating if we, uhm, like kissed one time? He said that it just a farewell kiss. Just one time I promise, he do it unexpectedly. I swear it never happened again and it will never happen again.”

 

Seungyoun nodded at that, seriously is there any man out there who are as understanding as Cho Seungyoun?

 

“Hmm.. Something happened between you two? Like something other than the kiss?” he quirk his eyebrows up as he looked down at the women in his embrace.

 

“No, if you’re wondering about THAT, I’m still thank you very much.” They both then laugh at that.

 

They fall into a comfortable silence then, just watching the stars and the moon that displayed right in front of them and silently listening to the sounds of ocean waves hitting the sands for like a good minutes. As the night get colder,

 

“Come on, let’s get your outta here.” Seungyoun joked and Jamie can only rolled her round eyes yet the smile that was plastered in her face said how much she wanted to go home with him.

 

“Yeah, let’s go back to our home?” She said, hopeful as she look into her husband's eyes.

 

Seungyoun looks at her, bite his bottom lip because damn how much he wanted that too, to go home with her.

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

“Of course I do, and it’s not a statement. It’s an order, my dear husband.” she said then dragged Seungyoun out of the blanket matted sands.

 

Jamie can almost heard Seungyoun’s brain working when she locked their fingers together.

 

It feels so right.

 

It has been eight months, four days and seven hours since the last time they saw one another, their hearts skipping a beat as the electric thrill rush through them with just that simple touch. She bit her full lip when her heart hammered doubled at the thoughts that come rushing and her brain supplies the image of her husband earlier in his working clothes and how y it really looks on him.

 

All sweaty and hot.

 

Damn.

 

Seungyoun squeeze her hand gently, running his thumb softly above Jamie’s hand and that surely give Jamie a shiver down to her spine that it has nothing to do with the cold night but something else as her heart leap from her chest.

 

Curse her for getting excited over the smallest things.

 

But after all Seungyoun is her husband right? So thirsting over your husband is normal things to do, isn’t it?

 

She waited at the side of the car, leaning against the door frame when Seungyoun fished out the key from his pocket and needed to let go of Jamie’s hand so Jamie get the chance to square it against his chest.

 

“You haven’t kissed me yet,” she whined cutely. Seungyoun looks at her and that look in his face that says he’s really surprised.

 

Did Park Jimin has always been this lovely?

 

But then he bit his lips, restraining himself from getting way to excited, “You supposed to kiss me, right? I’m finally home after a long time,”

 

Seungyoun smiles at her then steps into her space, reach out, cupping her cold face in his warm hands then said, “Welcome home, wifey” He said softly as Jamie leaned in to his touch.

 

He leaned down and kiss Jamie’s waiting lips, a simple touch of their lips at first until it grows into something more, the nipping kisses are becoming more possessive and stinging, turning Jamie’s pink lips into a rosy red, it’s as if Seungyoun had been craving for her lips, this is the most intense and aggressive kiss that Jamie had ever received with the men, as they get lost into the desires, both of them forgot that they’re still in a public place because damn,

 

They just miss each other so much. 

 

They just miss their "home" so much.