Dahyun immediately ran to Sana, wrapping her in her arms. Sana felt the familiar touch, and melted into it, letting herself fall into her arms. Dahyun let her. “It’s okay, I know it hurts. It’ll hurt. But it’ll be okay, and it’ll get okay,” Dahyun whispered comfortingly into Sana’s ear. Sana heard it; acknowledged it, but didn’t say anything. She just hugged Dahyun tighter, sobbing harder into her neck, letting her scent overwhelm her emotions, and drowning in it. 

They stayed like that, in each other’s arms, until Sana’s sobbing calmed down. They both felt a sense of déjà vu; they were in this position once before. The only difference being that Sakura wasn’t here anymore. It wasn’t the thought of death that made Sana sad anymore- it was the death.  

Dahyun still continued rubbing small patterns in Sana’s back, distracting herself by making art, and distracting Sana with the feeling. Sana spoke, though, and that broke the girls’ out of their trances. 

“I really miss her, Dahyun, I really do. I feel so bad for not being there- I feel so guilty, like I... l-like I failed her,” Sana began, eyes puffy and red from crying for the past few days. Honestly, Sana was a mess, and Dahyun noticed it. She probably has been here nearly the whole time, she thought. This thought haunted her more than she’d like to admit, but she answered Sana nonetheless, because she had to let her know that it wasn’t her fault. That she wasn’t to blame, and even if it seemed that way, nothing could have stopped what happened. And Sana blaming herself, and carrying all of that weight- broke Dahyun, because she knows that feeling too well. She wouldn’t let Sana carry that on her own, though. 

“You didn’t fail her, Sana. You don’t understand how much that woman loved you, and how much you made her life so worth living, even in times of pain, even in this time. Even now, she still loves you, and she’ll hold onto that love as long as you live, and so on. She’ll hold onto that love until you’re both reunited in the afterlife. She really cares for you, Sana, but you didn’t fail her.” 

Sana choked a sob, and stuffed her face into Dahyun’s neck, absorbing all of her words. Dahyun was right, she knew that, but it would take a while for those words to truly take meaning, and for her to truly believe them. But she will, and when she eventually overcomes this, and gets better, she’s sure Dahyun will be there the whole time. Through thick and thin, because as of now, all she knows is how much she cares about Dahyun, and how much her words mean to her. She feels safe with Dahyun, and she feels special and cared for with her- something she thought she’d only feel with her grandmother, since she was the only one there for her until now.  

Once the sobs quieted down to low, steady breathing, Sana spoke. “Dahyun-ah, thank you so, so much. I... I know I’m not okay. I won’t be okay, for a while. I’ll always miss her, and I know that, but I don’t want to hold onto regret or my sadness forever. I want to just remember the good memories, and think back on them fondly, I guess. Will you stick with me, Dahyun-ah, even if I wanna cry and yell about everything to you?” Sana tried a smile, looking into Dahyun’s caring eyes, feeling comfort and warmness surrounding her. It’ll be okay, and she knew this. 

Dahyun smiled back, the softest, sweetest and most genuine smile she could. “Of course, Sana-unnie, even if I have to buy new shirts after all the tears that’ll ruin them, I’ll stick with you. I... I care about you,” Dahyun said, looking away shyly. She’d never thought she’d be saying these words outright to someone, because to her, it’s embarrassing. But here she was, embarrassing herself in front of someone. Not just someone, but Sana. She wanted the mood to lighten, and to get Sana’s mind off of everything, even for just a second, so she suggested, “Hey, um, do you wanna stay at my place tonight? It’d be good for you to have company, you know?” 

Sana grinned and nodded, wiping away some left over tears from her bright red cheeks, and her shimmering eyes not only shining from tears, but with some form of life. She was excited, and she wanted to get her mind off things.  

--- * --- 

Sana and Dahyun walked, hand in hand because of the cold temperatures, to Dahyun’s shared dorm. She knew Chaeyoung was out with Mina, and Momo and Tzuyu went to a party with Nayeon and Jeongyeon to celebrate them being ‘reunited’, even if we all knew they just wanted to get drunk and have a good time. Thank god for my idiotic, party addicted roommates, Dahyun thought, closing her eyes for a moment to truly thank god, because she really was glad. She knew she’d be teased to death if she came back home with Sana. Sana smiled at her face, thinking her expression was funny. She couldn’t help but giggle. 

Dahyun looked at her confusedly, tilting her head to the side. Sana smiled, thinking she was cute, so she naturally poked her cheek. Dahyun frowned, and whined, “Unnie, stop, I don’t like when people touch my cheeks. Knowing how soft they are, I’m sure one day the indent will stick.” 

Sana’s smile widened, as she slowly brought up her finger to Dahyun’s cheeks. Dahyun stared at her face, glaring as a warning, but Sana didn’t mind it, and brought her finger closer, and closer to the irritated tofu. Dahyun grabbed her hand, and instead, pushed Sana’s finger towards Sana’s cheek, taking her by surprise when she poked her instead. “Wha- h-hey! That’s not fair, it’s illegal, you can’t do that!” Sana semi-yelled, taken aback, pushing Dahyun’s hands away from her own, distancing herself from the pale girl. Sana pouted, looking away from Dahyun’s faked sad face.  

Dahyun secretly smiled, and walked closer to Sana, taking her hand in her own, looking away. Sana glanced at her not-so-discreetly and smiled. They could both see Dahyun’s dorm in the near distance, so they sped up, wanting to get out of the freezing cold and the pretty snowflakes now dotting the air around them. 

Dahyun walked up the frozen steps carefully, holding tightly on Sana’s hand and at her often, making sure she wouldn’t slip. It didn’t take her long since they first met to witness and understand the full severity of Sana’s clumsiness.  

When they finally, and most importantly, safely made it to the dorm, they walked towards Dahyun’s room. Dahyun shared a room with Chaeyoung, and you could tell whose side was whose. Sana looked at Dahyun’s side, which had posters of various kpop stars, and even had a few albums on the wall from a group called Mamamoo and G-idle. Sana knew them, since she was a fan of them too, and had gotten herself into a deep conversation about her love for the groups with Dahyun, since she shared the interest. That’s also how she knew it was Dahyun’s side, because Chaeyoungs had different groups like Red velvet and Loona. 

But Sana also noticed a picture on a dresser by Dahyun’s bed. It was a picture of Dahyun with a woman and a boy who looked slightly younger than Dahyun. They looked happy, and all had bright smiles on their faces, looking fresh in their teen years- you know, before goes down in high school. Sana smiled, and sat down next to Dahyun on her bed, who has been motioning for her to join her. Sana decided to ask about the picture. 

“Dahyun-ah, who are the people in the photo with you? You look really happy, like a little kid who just got told they were going to Disney world.” 

Sana looked concerned when Dahyun frowned, eyes becoming vacant as she was consumed in her thoughts. Sana waved her hand in Dahyun’s face, snapping a distracted Dahyun out of her trance. Dahyun sighed, and forced on a smile, looking carefully into Sana’s pretty hazel-brown eyes. Pretty, but very concerned and worried, and a little- scared. “Ah, that picture. I was 14 then, and the woman in the picture is my mother. The boy is my brother, he’s a couple years younger than me. I haven’t seen him in a while, though...” Dahyun trailed off, looking into Sana’s eyes, but Sana didn’t see her. Dahyun’s gaze was on her, but was far, far away, as if on another world, in another existence. 

Sana knew in the back of her mind that she shouldn’t ask this. She knew that Dahyun avoided speaking about it for a reason, but she let the curiosity get the best of her, and asked slowly; carefully, “And your mother? Have you not seen her? Did something happen?” 

Sana’s words went in one ear, and out the other. They barely registered with her, but when she was brought back to reality, she was faced with Sana’s face inches away from hers, eyes looking very, very concerned, but gentle. Dahyun blushed and moved away a little. She wasn’t very used to pretty faces being so up close and personal, and it being Sana made it a lot different, and a lot more nervewracking. But she didn’t let herself think about why that was, since she had to answer. Dahyun’s expression turned solemn, as she said, “My mom’s dead. She was murdered, actually, but don’t worry, the killer is in prison. This was taken before she died, and before she met my step-dad,” Dahyun grimaced while mentioning her stepdad, and a horrifying look plastered on her face. Sana was scared, but she didn’t know why. She knew something was up with this; with everything Dahyun said, and with her stepdad, but she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. She wanted tonight to be fun and memorable, but not this way. She didn’t want to keep up this dark conversation, so she instead, switched the topic, and Dahyun was thankful. She didn’t want to bring up memories from the past tonight, and besides, tonight was about Sana, not her. 

Sana changed the topic, and the night continued like that- It was fun, and enjoyable for both of them, them talking into the night, enjoying each other's presence and forgetting about their troubles, even though it was only a night, they took their time to enjoy it, and get to know each other. 

“So, I walked into the room, and there was a banana peel left on the floor! I mean, who does that?! So then I slipped and fell into this popular kid, and I swear my life flashed before my eyes,” Dahyun said exasperated, dramatizing everything that happened in hopes to make Sana laugh. It worked, and Sana giggled, shining eyes turning into crescents. Dahyun’s smiled widened at this, and she subconsciously reached her hand out to hold Sana’s. Sana blushed, but Dahyun chose to ignore it, choosing to enjoy the comfort instead.  

Dahyun and Sana quieted down and caught themselves staring at each other. There was this weird aura around them, and neither of them wanted to do anything. Suddenly, though, Sana disrupted the tense silence, saying something surprising. 

“Dahyun-ah. I wan’t to get a tattoo.”