Next Thursday, I’M LEAVING.

LEAVING THE GROUP.

LEAVING SUPER JUNIOR.

LEAVING FOR A BETTER LIFE (I hope,)

                       I’m cooking for dinner tonight. ‘Special’ dinner. I wish they wouldn’t mad at me just like Henry and Leeteuk does. Just a wish.

I hope it’ll be like this .

“Ahh, it’s okay. Go fulfill you dream,”

“Noona, fighting!”

“We will still love you,”

But the reality is going to be like this.

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“This is a joke right? You’re joking,”

“! So are you just pretending in front of us, all this 4 years?”

“Go away, I don’t want to see your face again,”

Talking about Henry and Leeteuk, yeah they already knew about this. They didn’t talk to any members since the day Henry cried. Oh, and also Zhoumi. After Henry said that Zhoumi is not-so-important in his life, he just got mad, really-really mad. The others are still confused. I just remain silence but tonight, I swear, I’m going to tell all by myself.

“You are cooking? Woahh, really? Need some hand?” ask Ryeowook.

“No, it’s okay. Ryeowook hyung, what do you want to eat for tonight?”

“Anything, I don’t mind,”

“Hyung, can I ask you something,” he nodded as the answer is yes.

“What if someone very important in your life leaving you, just because he or she had to do something really important for his or her life but telling you about they’re going in the last minute? Will you get mad with him or her?”

“What kind of question is this? I can’t answer it since I don’t get what is the question.  Can you repeat?”

“Hurm, nevermind. Can I just cook pasta for all of you tonight?”

“Do as you wish, I’m going to watch the television. Good luck with your pasta,”

I nodded and give him a smile. Will they get mad? I’m so DAMN afraid right now.  Suddenly, I got a phone call from, ahh~ you-know-who.

“Honey, don’t forget! This Thursday! We all are so excited,” yeah mom, whatever. You don’t know how ‘excited’ I am to tell my members about my leaving.

“Yeah, is everyone going to be there? Please mom, don’t shout because my fans, I mean ELF doesn’t know about this thing yet,”

Suddenly Kangin came inside the kitchen. He hear about the ‘ELF’ conversations,.

“ELF don’t know about what yet?”

“Ahh, hyung. I’m going to Invicible Youth,” I lied.

“Ah, really?” then he just went out from the kitchen to tell the others.

“GUYS, OUS NOONA GOING TO BE IN INVICIBLE YOUTH! WOHOO!!!!” Kangin shouted.

Back to my story with my mom again,

“Mom, got to go. See you on Thursday,” say bubbye to my mommy and went out to check-out what is the others doing and about my fake ‘INVICIBLE YOUTH’ show.

“Hey guys, don’t go out tonight okay? I’m going to cook something for all of you,”

“Is this because we’re going to celebrate about you are going to enter ‘Invicible Youth’ reality show? Donghae ask. Donghae, is not a reality show anymore. It’s a fake show.

“Maybe, and can you guys ask Leeteuk, Henry and Zhoumi to join us tonight also?”

“Why don’t you do that? You are the who’s asking us to join for your special dinner tonight,” said Kibum. Yeah, a very ‘special’ dinner for you Kibum.

“`Fine,” I went to Leeteuk’s room.

“Knock, knock,”

I open the door and saw Leeteuk’s eyes are red. I wonder how many time did he cried since last week.

“Hyung-ahh, I know you knew something, about. . . .,” I just can’t continue my sentence.

“You’re going to leave us, this Thursday right?” he just can’t stop crying.

“I’m going to tell the others tonight, so I make a special dinner for them, I hope you can join us, okay?” I ask him. I felt guilty. What did I’ve done?

“Yeah, sure. I just want to tell you this, they will be really mad at you. I know them since they’re in high schools. I know what they will do next. I just don’t get it, why are you leaving us? Just because of your dreams. Your mom already called me, she said thank you very much for letting you go this time. She miss you, next time don’t do this to anybody,”

“Hyung, can I ask you something? When actually you knew about I’m leaving the group? I’m just curious you knew something, when we played truth or dare game a month ago. I wonder why Henry knows too,” I ask him.

“We know since the 1^st day you promised your mother, on your birthday. Remember that ‘surprised party we make for you? We actually follow behind you, me and Henry. You just didn’t notice us,” he said. He is still crying.

“But then, we didn’t tell anyone. Henry asks my permission to tell the others. I told him not to do that because you know how the others, then last week, the day Henry cried. He just got mad with me because I didn’t let him to tell the others that you’re going this week, he cried. Later that night, we went out just to calm ourselves, not to think about this anymore, that’s all, he still mad at you,” he continued.

“Can you ask him to join for the ‘special’ dinner tonight?”

“I try my best, when you go out, please close the door,” he went back to sleep.

I went to Shindong’s room, since Zhoumi stay in that room after Henry didn’t let him to go inside his ‘own’ room anymore.

“Zhoumi, can you join us tonight? I make some pasta,” he looks at me. Wierdly.

“Is Henry going to be there? He asked.

“Yeah, all of us going to be at the dining hall 7 p.m., make sure you come,”

“No, if Henry’s going to be there, then I’m not going!”

“You shouldn’t say that. He is your best friends remember?”

“ Was. Not anymore,” he turned away his face.

“Zhoumi, please. This is for my celebration for getting choosen for ‘Invicible Youth’show! It’s not for you and Henry becoming-ex-best-friends celebration!” I lied again! Ah~ fake show, you know how much I owe you!

Is already 7:10p.m, everyone is already here.

Heechul, Hankyung, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Siwon, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kibum, Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Zhoumi .

EXCEPT Leeteuk and Henry.

“Ya~ Hyung, Henry! Can’t you guys please faster? I’m hungry,” Shindong.

“Be patient, we should wait for them,” said Siwon.

Finally, around 7: 18, they came for joining us, thanks Leeteuk. I owe you too, beside of that fake show!

“Yummy, I never knew you can cook very well!” said Hankyung.

“There’s a lot of me, you didn’t knew yet, and you will,” yeah, my biggest secret going to be reveals any minute now. They’re eating quietly, since Henry and Zhoumi and Leeteuk , everything. It is quite surprise to see Henry is looking at Zhoumi. Zhoumi noticed, but he just turned away.

“Guy, there is something you should know, I’m going to . . . ,”

“INVICIBLE YOUTH!” shout Kyumin couple.

“Hae, we should do that next time,” said Eunhyuk to Donghae.

“Ouh, that is actually no true, I lied,” take a deep breath. I know it’s going to be like this, like I expected.

“What?” Kyumin.

“You lied? I thought it was true, we were so excited,” said Sungmin.

“So, this dinner tonight is what for?” ask Heechul.

“I’m . . . . . ,” I just can’t continue my word.

“You’re going to WE Got Married?” ask Yesung.

“No,not relate to any tv shows,”

“So what is it?” Shindong ask.

“I’m . . . . .,”

“SHE’S GOING TO LEAVE THE GROUP!” Henry shouted. Tears falling down to my cheek. I just can’t facing each of them anymore. It’s hurt.

“What?” Ryeowook.

“Is it true? When? Why?” said Hankyung.

“ I promised something accidently with my mom , I didn’t meant it at first , but she thinks that I’m … really going to do it , sorry ,”

They all left with no words. Speechless.  I hope one they’ll understand , or at least one of them . I hope .

After all , it is just around the corner.