Today is Thursday, my flight will be around 10 pm tonight.

I love them as much I love my own self.

But can’t they just understand me just this time?

Sorry is the only word that I kept saying since yesterday.

S

O

R

R

Y 

It was my fault. I shouldn’t promise. What have I done?

I lost everything.

My Umma(Leeteuk), my Appa(Kangin), my Cinderella(Heechul), my great Chinese-chingu(Hangeng), my cloud(Yesung), my Winnie the Pooh(Shindong), my pink prince(Sungmin), my monkey(Eunhyuk), my Simba(Siwon), my fishy(Donghae), my Wookie(Ryeowook), my snow white(Kibum), my evil Kyu(Kyuhyun) my gentleman mimi(Zhoumi), and my moshi-moshi(Henry).

          It’s already 8 in the morning. I don’t know whether I should go out prepare breakfast or not. Usually I do not prepare dinner for them, but since today will be the last day, I think I should. I guess they are not wake up yet. I take this chance to prepare the last breakfast for them. I open my door quietly and step my left foot.

I saw Siwon’s face.  

          He is looking at me weirdly. I don’t know how to react in front of him just after what I’ve done last night.

“Leeteuk ask me to wake you up. He already prepared breakfast for you, I mean us,” he hesitated.

“I can’t. I just cannot facing all of you, after what happened...,”

“_____________, please don’t let us down. Come and have your last breakfast with us,” he fissured.

                                   I just nodded after he said the last sentence. It just touched my heart. I went to the toilet and wash my face quickly because I don’t want them to wait me for a long time.

                   I went straight to the dining hall and found all of them sitting at the dining table. They all give a smile to me like yesterday never happened. I don’t know what expressions to respond.

“Have a sit with us, noona,” six words came from Kyuhyun’s mouth.

                     I went to my chair. Leeteuk prepared a very delicious breakfast for us. I just kept my mouth shut while eating. They all just keep talking like they do not know today will be the last day I will spend with them.  

 “Hyung, can we go to the theme park and have a picnic today?” ask Henry.

“Sure, is there anymore place you want to go?” inquired Leeteuk.

“I think that is enough for today, we don’t have any schedules for today right?” reply Henry.

“You guys, today will be our...” I cannot continue my word because Sungmin interrupted.

“Hyung, can we go without the bodyguards this time, it will be more fun right?” said Sungmin give his brilliant idea.

“I will try my best discuss with the manager, okay c’mon everybody get ready now. We will leave by 10 pm,” as Leeteuk start giving orders.

“Hyung, I...”

“Go get ready honey, we will be leaving,” he just say that and give a smile then, turned away.

            I am speechless. What are they thinking? I’m leaving and they want to have fun? I don’t have any idea, why they do this.

 “Everyone already inside?” ask Kibum after all of us are inside the car.

“Close the door fishy darling, “said the driver, Eunhyuk.

“Sure, monkey honey,” reply Donghae.

                      We’re on our way to the theme park. As the manager already gave us go without the bodyguard, we all have to wear mask to avoid the fans. It’s a routine for us and also the other celebrities.

           We ride almost everything in that theme park including the merry-go-round. I almost forgotten that today will be our last day together. Like nothing can separate us. NOTHING.

“What is the next place?” ask Eunhyuk as he is the driver for today activity.

Han River!!!!

         After we arrived, we choose to take a seat under a shady tree and have a nice lunch together. We talk and talk like nothing is going to happen after this.

“Did you guys remember the first time we went here together?” ask Shindong.

“I did! We came here when he had our first debut in Music Bank, am I right?” screamed Zhoumi. Shindong just nodded.

“Yeah, such a sweet memory. I guess this will be the best dream in my life, right guys?” said Hangeng suddenly.

“It shouldn’t be a dream. This is real. We all are here, you want me to pinch you to prove that this is real?” I said. It should be the best day ever, not the best dream ever.

“No matter how strong, how many times you pinch him, this will be remains a dream not real,” Yesung support Hankyung.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” I replied angrily. This should not be a dream! This should be the last memory that I will bring with me when I am leaving the group.

“Hyung is already 3:30 pm, we better get home now. I want to wake up from this nice sleep at home. Here is hot,” Heechul.

“Okay, _______, I want to discuss with you something. The others can get into the car now,” giving orders again to us. I cannot say anything when he said he want to discuss something with me. I am 100% sure he will be saying about I’m leaving.

             After he makes sure that all of them are inside the car, he went closer to me. Closely enough so, the others cannot hear even one word.

“___________, are you already packing your things?” he asks me quietly.

“There is still little more. Why?”

“The manager will send you at the airport around 7 o’clock, that’s all,” he explained to me. 

 “With you guys too right? Hyung, why all of you acting weirdly? And why they are kept saying this is a dream? This day should be kept in our mind as one of the best day in our life!” I almost scream.

“Don’t you get it? _______, we want the memory with you all this time is just a dream. I asked them to think like that so they do not give up, even if you’re not with us” I nodded, and almost cry.

“So, did you mean you want them to assume that all this, me, our memories together is a dream,” I guessed, although, I already knew what he told me just now.

“Yeah, you won’t feel dispirited? Aren’t you?”

“Ouh, no I guess,” I lied.

“One more thing, before you leaving please make sure all of them are already in their rooms and sleeping. It’s a dream right? It should be as a dream, please just follow my way, don’t change the plan, if not it will be disaster! “ explained Leeteuk with his serious face. I guessed he is serious about this dream-plan.

“Sure, as you wish,” I said and make a sad face. I actually disagree with this dream-so-whatever-plan. After all this year, they want make all our memories together as a dream.

A dream.

I am totally not real.

Pinch me.

Is it this a real dream?

I guess this is a dream.

But for the best of their lives, I sacrifice me, my memory, all about me as a dream. Only as a dream.

                     After see visions for a while, I went quickly into the car. Seeing their faces one by one. I have got to say something, to cheer them up.

“Guys, I guess this is a dream. Maybe this is a dream. This is probably the last time we met in dreams. I think I should say goodbye before we separated. One day, if we had chance to meet again in dreams, I’ll be the happiest angel in this world. That’s all,” I spoke with a tone burst into tears.

                           They just looking at me like it was the most natural thing to respond if someone is crying in front of them as they do not have any feelings. What had happened to all of them? What happened to all of them last night? Are they really happy that I’m leaving the group? 

Thousands of question in my head, as they may explode in any time.

“We already arrived, everyone go to bed quickly okay, ____________, please make sure they sleep okay?” said Leeteuk.

“Sure, get ready guys to be back to the real world. Don’t miss your angel, I’ll be at the same place every night, in your dreams,” I said in the tone-lock stuck.

“I’ll be missing you angel, in my dreams,” said Sungmin. I can see his watery eyes due to crying.  He was surprised when I could see his eyes watering. He quickly wiped the tears.

               I went to my room and close the door as soon I go in. I packed all my things quickly. I don’t want to stay here any longer. I can do as I wish after I left this dreams.

“Hyung, I...,” I was surprised because they are not in the living room anymore. Maybe they are in the kitchen, but then I rethink again. If they  are in the kitchen probably, I could hear their voices because everyone knows how Super Junior habit when they talk. It could be very disturbing.

Suddenly,

“No way! They are sleeping in their rooms?” I speak to myself.

                     As Leeteuk wish, I went room by room. All of them are sleeping quietly, not even Kangin snore. I don’t know whether they are real-sleeping or fake because some of them are moving when I open their doors.

After I finished the last door, I said to myself,

“Goodbye guys, sweet dreams,” 

            I step out from that house and went to the airport. Without looking back, I’m leaving.

 ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

“ We shouldn’t let her go,” whispered Kyuhyun alone.