I’m guessing this is what Matthew felt like when he first walked through the door. Excited, expectant of love and joy from everyone around me but I was met with simple silence. Almost calming, as if they weren’t looking at me and I had to pause to actually check that they could see me when Mark’s voice rang out.

“Sunbae? What? I thought you were dead!”

As Mark’s voice served as a trigger, it was the first push towards the domino piece as it all came toppling down. Baekhyun had lunged towards me, Kyungsoo stood rooted on the spot with cookies in his hands, Sehun raised his phone to take photos and to gawk at the screen as to confirm I was actually there.

Matthew was long gone on the ground and this was when I had a lot of explaining to do. There was one light that shot up into the sky, I told them, and that light was me. However, I made the decision to not stay in this universe, bringing back memories of how Hermione had mentioned briefly about there being others.

I would be wiped off existence, like every inter-universe Grim Reaper out there and I agreed. Matthew waking up was with him being all distance, like he still couldn’t believe us. Mark was still confused and after a lot of talking and explaining that I wasn’t actually dead (which was rather easy since he thought Matthew was once dead, too) and Matthew and I just had a dramatic fight and I fell off the face of Earth (literally, Harin had said), he bought it.

Mark bought everything you fed him; I took another mental note to talk to Matthew about that.

And as I entered the bedroom to have some private time with Matthew, the only thing he could do was stand by the corner very awkwardly as he teared up. It was too hard for him process, he told me. When I died, it was like his world collapsed into crumbs. I sat silently, watching him as he waved his hand around, walking back and forth.

“Do you know what Lucifer did before he left for the underworld?” Matthew asked, exasperated. “He hugged me, Bora. A demon pitied me! Asmodeus tried to sleep with me because she thinks that sleeping with people… destroys their pain or something like that. I went to gym with Beelzebub!”

He took a deep breath.

“I went to China, got a new name! Xiao Zhan, or whatever.” He rolled his eyes, still unable to sit down from the shock. “And you’re here. You’re here. You’re finally here.”

I’m here, I told him, taking his hands into mine to calm him down. I would be here for a very long time and I was sorry for leaving so abruptly.

“I wanted to obliviate myself but it was against the rules!” Matthew continued and I nodded. I had heard it from Tako and even the Earthlyu Grim Reapers had been caught by surprise when they saw me. I smoothed a hand over Matthew’s back, a list of things piling in my head on what I had to do. My father would be registered and I would have to make sure I would be able to go back to make my mark—dead or alive.

My privacy with Matthew wasn’t long-lived, and the door was pushed open and I saw Kyungsoo standing eagerly as if he was waiting for his time. Matthew sniffled, the door opening wider, my brother and Chanyeol peeking through the door. Mark had gone home after a very emotional dinner but it was a good thing, he said he “understood”.

That night, I sat down with my friends and my lover, telling them all about my adventures.

“Baekhyun and Chanyeol are married there,” I told them and Baekhyun’s eyes widened at the information, sputtering out in disbelief. “Sehun and Harin. Kai too, with a girl named Bora—which is not me, but Baekhyun’s sister. Just a different Bora, I guess. Also, Kyungsoo talks weird there.”

Kyungsoo punched my shoulder.

“I mean, I have always known that Chanyeol and I were soulmates,” Baekhyun said, Chanyeol nodding as he nudged my brother cheekily. “But here, I am a man of my own and I am strong. I also am very straight!”

“Right,” Chanyeol confirmed and I cradled Matthew’s head against my chest with one hand, Baekhyun on the other. “And what else happened?”

“Haechan and Mark…” I began, telling them all about the wars I have been through. “Harin’s brothers are alive there, too.”

With the mention of her brother, Harin’s eyes welled up with tears and I smiled at her. Do Kyungmin and Do Miso stood by the door, taking in the sight of all of us gathered on the bed as we began to talk the night away.

“I knew that the whole four world thing was definitely not just a dream!” Harin said to Sehun, smacking him on the arm. “Baby, I told you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Sehun waved a hand at his wife. “Did we… Did we succeed? How was it?”

“Harin sacrificed herself—”

Baekhyun gave out a dramatic gasp and I continued to tell them the tales of the universe, all of them swaying to the sound of my voice as I rocked Matthew and Baekhyun to sleep. Matthew couldn't sleep, his hand tightening over mine like he was scared I would leave.

It was a night of healing and many things rolled into one.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Suho’s return shocked me as much as it shocked him that I was back. I expected that he would have left by the time I came back, but it wasn’t the case. I repeated myself, Suho taking it better than the rest of them. I could touch him and I hugged him so tightly, Suho giving me a squeeze.

“Haechan is back,” he began and I pulled away, Matthew sitting behind me when he gave out a sigh. “He’s back in Korea.”

It’s funny how everything comes back full circle and Suho would finally get what he truly wanted for his fiancé. And just like that, Suho told us to come with him. He would slip away, quietly without wanting to tell Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

That he hated goodbyes and he had given it to them enough.

We had followed him to Do Cemetery, where he was buried years ago. By a tree, because Kyungsoo said that he needed the significance. Lee Haechan’s car was parked on the side and I saw the grown features of our once young junior make his way around. He was finding something, Matthew and I watching him from afar when Haechan stopped right where I thought he would.

Suho’s grave.

Suho stood beside him, Haechan muttering something under his breath. He looked nervous, like he was actually talking to someone and in his hand, he held a sunflower. Not forget-me-nots like we always used for those who were gone—a sunflower.

A sign of hope and happiness. A new beginning.

I watched as Suho’s eyes welled up in tears and whatever Haechan said would have put him at peace when I felt a presence beside me, Kyungsoo grunting. Matthew and I jumped backwards, the handler taking us by surprise when he spoke.

“You did it again. Didn’t invite me when it’s at my own church,” he said it accusingly and I threw my head back and laughed, Kyungsoo passing me a small smile. We watched as Suho saw us, Kyungsoo raising a hand to greet him when Suho nodded.

Right at that moment, he looked up into the sky and I saw him solidify, the gates of heaven ready to take him in. Haechan had turned around, slamming against Suho’s chest when he looked at the younger male and smiled.

And right then, Haechan turned away and Suho shot into the sky to the afterlife.

To see Suho gone was a knot tied and I linked hands with Kyungsoo and Matthew.

I would be here for a long time to see how love would pan out for all of them.

And I intended to stay.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There would be a few people I had to handle—My father, for one. It took him by surprise, like it did everyone and I was worried that it’d give him a heart attack. He was a stubborn one and I always wanted to prove him wrong about the afterlife and I guessed that this was the only way. To come back from the dead.

He was already married to a counter, to which I later found out that my Aunt was very in-tune to ghosts. I didn’t know