And into the future, I did go.

Seven years to be exact.

After high school graduation, I tried to hold onto the hope that I would be able to move on from people close to me disappearing into the afterlife. I went to SM University as a finance student along with Minseok, my brother and his friends had their last year of high school being senior kids and going to every party they could go to-- an exception to Kyungsoo who enjoyed simply watching horror movies. 

The years passed by so fast and by the time I was done with my first year of university, my brother was also accepted into the SM Business department and he very happily made up his mind that his choice of major would be in talent acquisition and management. Human resources, a broader way to say it. 

Kim Kai had gone overseas to pursue his studies in criminology, the male having tunnel vision towards his dream to become a detective. Sehun and Harin went to SM and they were announced as the power couple of their generation. Sehun finally had the balls to confess and after a few months of pushing and pulling, Harin was then officially his. 

Kyungsoo went into liberal arts. I had no idea what he studied but he very deeply believed he didn't need a degree... not when he would become a priest. But his father had insisted that he have an education and if religion were to not work out, he could go corporate. Kyungsoo feared the idea of going corporate, our very own handler moving into my home after the argument with his father for a good two months until Father Kyungmin came and demanded him to come back home because his mother was making the atmosphere at home tense. 

Chanyeol... Chanyeol had gotten that swim scholarship and moved to the States for a while. We didn't hear from him simply because he was always training and even though we scheduled Skype calls and constantly tried to talk to him on weekends, he was always dead tired. 

We tried to be as supportive as possible and all of us congratulated him and watched his games if they were ever live and Chanyeol finally told us one day that he couldn't do this for the rest of his life. Two years into his career, he got into a slump and contemplated coming back to Korea. Baekhyun decided to go pay his best friend (His words, not mine) a visit somehow, after that trip, Chanyeol had brightened up with Baekhyun's presence. 

They were opposite sides of a coin but I could tell that Chanyeol and Baekhyun cherished each other. Chanyeol finally got a girlfriend with Baekhyun's antics, my brother telling me all about how Chanyeol had no game. Baekhyun made his way back and since then, they had been closer than anyone else in the group. 

I often saw Suho once in a while and sought out his calming presence. Yixing had moved onto medical school and Chen went to England to take his shot as a cellist. 

Seven years. 

We had all graduated for a while now. 

Kai is now a detective. Sehun is married. Minseok and Sehun had been doing business together, putting up hospitals and branching them throughout Southeast Asia. Kyungsoo has a church, God knows what he had been doing to it but I heard some very disturbing rumors. 

My brother and I had been distant lately and the last I heard from him, he was a manager for actors and actresses for a very big entertainment company. His degree in talent acquisition suited him well but I could tell that he had lost the passion when it came to his career. I had a feeling he was going to quit but my brother hated talking to me about his plans and I wasn't one to intrude. 

Chanyeol put up a small children's swimming school in Singapore, teaching the disabled how to swim. It was a test run and it had been doing well, Chanyeol often traveled places. One day he'd be in Japan, another he'd be on his way to a small country in Europe that we had never heard of.

And I…

I was burned out.

I was a financial consultant slash advisor and I worked nights, slept days. It was the lack of sunlight, I told myself. That's why you feel like you're so depressed! But a part of me knew that I had changed. I was snappier than I usually was. I was snarky and all I wanted to do was drink. 

I haven't seen the others for a while and the last I have seen them was two months ago when they showed up at my doorstep so we could have dinner with Suho. I didn't go without a fight but of course, I ended up in a fancy restaurant with sunglasses on to hide my tired eyes while they all dined and talked about their future plans. 

I felt like a part of me had died throughout the seven years.

Kyungsoo and I weren't as close as we were anymore and somehow everyone just went on with their separate ways. 

On this particular day, my alarm clock rang at 8:30 pm and I rolled over on the bed before I glanced at the clock. . 8:30 pm was like 8:30 am for me and I hated how tired I felt. I groaned to myself, my eyes going to the lit laptop screen when the graphs began to move. 

An indication that people from my virtual team were beginning to start their day. 

"Byun Bora, a client is asking for a financial analysis of their profits last month." 

An email popped up like clockwork.

. 

I tried to stop myself from cursing in my head one more time, my mind going to a book I read the other day about positive thinking when I rolled off the bed onto the ground. My stomach rumbled and I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to remember if I had anything edible in my refrigerator when I decided to head to buy some triangle bibimbap. 

And maybe some soju. 

I had to make it back before 9 pm, which was when my work would start for the night so I pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my wallet, walking down my apartment building. I lived in a secluded apartment near the border between N-CITY and Central Seoul.

The two-minute walk to the convenience store made me look around warily-- walking at night never had been a problem and throughout the years and a few events of running into ghouls, humans still scared me more than ghosts. 

I went into the convenience store, my eyes running over the variety of items that had a flash promotion and I grabbed a few. It was then followed with me heading towards the alcohol section when I stopped at the original flavored soju and I shook my head. 

I needed an extra push of sweetness. 

I grabbed the peach-flavored soju and finally went to pay it off. 

The female behind the counter, a teenager who always wore headphones, passed me a smile. She was used to my late-night transactions and I could see that she wondered what I did. I pressed my lips together, the female finally speaking.

"An accident just happened ten minutes ago," she told me and I looked up, sleepily trying to process what she was saying. "Just saying. There were police sirens ringing and everything. If you're going to Center Seoul, you might run into traffic."

"Thanks for letting me know," I quietly said, giving her a grateful smile. "But I'm going back home to work."

Before she could ask what my job was, I had turned away and walked out. 

The air was cold but I could blame it for Seoul being Seoul. I ran a hand through my hair, the three soju bottles clinking against each other when I felt the air shift and I stopped. The houses down the road were empty and there was no one other than the man in front of me who was walking a bit weirdly.

I decided to wait and let him go first, wanting to walk on my own because it made me feel safer. I looked down on the items and decided to eat them, not being able to fight my hunger. 

When I grabbed it and looked up, the man was gone and I frowned at how fast he had climbed the slope.

I finally opened the plastic, discarding it in a nearby trash can when I took a bite. I finally reached my apartment, dragging my feet on the ground at the thought of having to make a video call in an hour or two when I shivered again. 

I would have thought that my body would get used to the cold by now but then I guessed not. The walls in our apartment building were thin and I could hear the couple beside my room fighting. I pursed my lips, a hand going to push open the door when I could hear my cellphone ringing on the couch, just where I had left it. 

I entered my apartment, a hand going out on the lights when I saw a person standing by the window.

With that, the bottles of soju fell onto the floor mat, a dull thud echoing throughout my apartment when he turned around to stare at me, blood dripping down his face.

"Holy ." I breathed, my knees wobbling at who the person was.

"So, you do see ghosts!" he exclaimed and my throat went dry.

"Suho." I managed to gasp. "Are you dead?"
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you ing kidding me--" I sputtered, pacing in front of the open door before I kicked it shut with one leg, Suho jumping at the sound. He was bloodied, his dark blue suit stained with the dark red liquid. I had no idea where his nose had gone and it was hard to look at him. "Are you in a coma? Maybe you can go back-- Do not do that!"

I screamed when Suho removed his arm, waving it in front of him to show that he was very much, pretty much very dead. I locked the door and chewed on my bottom lip, feeling the stress consume me when I grabbed the soju and placed them on the table. 

"Suho, put your arm back on," I instructed, covering my eyes. "I must be dreaming. I'm dreaming, am I? You told me that you were supposed to have dinner with your fiance tonight."

Suho had asked me a few days ago what flower I thought was deemed as romantic to me and I told him "Forget-Me-Nots". The flower itself had held so much meaning to me because I had always put them on the altar Harin made for Matthew. Upon telling Suho that, he told me that he needed a flower that was simple but made an impact to give to his fiance.

Forget-me-nots.

I slapped myself with one hand then peeked through my fingers when Suho shook his head as if he was telling me that he was still there and still dead.

"The accident happened on the way to dinner," he finally spoke and I groaned, rubbing my face multiple times. "And I came here because I remember that conversation we had. Don't ask me how I knew where you lived, we had to drag you out of this place two months ago when I wanted to announce my wedding plans." 

", , ."

positivity.

"Now, now, Bora."

"Don't "Now, now" me, Suho! You're dead and how are you so calm?"

"Because I was already dying," Suho answered and I blinked, looking up at him to see him smile sadly at me. "I was about to tell her today at dinner but then this happened. Cancer. Terminal. I would have had five months, tops."

"Well, ."

"I am never going to get used to you cursing."

"And your fiance? She should be at the restaurant, right? Waiting?"

"This is why I need your help. I want you to call the restaurant and tell them to give her the cake I prepared so when she hears the news--"

"Suho, that is horrible!" I said to him, the image of his fiance sitting on her own and crying over the cake made my heart twist. "Why would you..."

"Just this once, Bora." 

That was how I ended up calling the restaurant, finally telling them to release the cake and pretending to be Suho's secretary. Shortly after, I had taken the night off and told them that a close family member had passed away. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Suho was gone and I asked once more, eyeing his body.
"Have you tried going back to your body?"

"Bora, I was pronounced dead at the scene."

"I need to sit down," I whispered, Suho nodding.

"Me too. But what if I fall through the couch?"

His words made me realize the intensity of the situation. 

He had no control over his spiritual body just yet. Suho was now a ghost and there was nothing I could do about it. I quickly opened the soju bottle, downing it and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand when my phone buzzed one more time and I reached over to answer it without looking at the caller ID, my eyes strained on Suho.

"Noona!" I could tell that Sehun had been crying. His nose was stuffy and his voice wavered, the male asking me if I heard about Suho. "He's dead, Noona. Car crash."

I dragged my eyes away from Suho and fell back down onto the couch before I told him I knew. The moment I did, Sehun's voice was then laced with suspicion. 

"Why do you not sound surprised, Noona? Did he come and see you? I know you both used to joke--"

A presence beside my ear and I almost shrieked, placing a hand over my mouth when Suho's head appeared beside mine, trying to listen to my conversation with Sehun. 

"Noona?"

"Uh... Sehun. Yeah. I mean, Yixing told me," I murmured, Suho dragging a finger across his neck as if to tell me that he wasn't there. "A-And, Suho was a fulfilled man, Sehun. He wouldn't linger. You know that... right?"

My insinuation that it was impossible that Suho would stay on earth, dead, made Sehun somewhat agree. 

"How are you feeling?" Sehun asked and I quickly moved away from Suho, the air going chilly. "I called Chanyeol and he said he'll take the first flight back. Yixing hyung had emailed everyone. Is that how you found out?"

"Y-Yes," I stammered. It was a lie. I never checked that email and it was filled with magazine subscriptions and I used that email to register for promotions if I ever needed them. I doubt I would have been able to find Yixing's email even if I checked into it. 

"What's wrong, Noona? Are you drinking on the job again?" Sehun asked, Harin's voice coming up from behind him. 

"Sehun, she's probably just as shocked as you are."

"I need a drink," Sehun murmured a small smack from Harin's small hands could be heard, the younger male howling. 

"At this rate, you're going to relapse."

I sighed, clearing my throat. 

"Sehun, I'll talk to you later, alright? Just... I'll call." 

Sehun took his queue to leave and I hung up, Suho sitting on the couch beside me. I grimaced at the way he looked, Suho deep in thought. 

"That was Sehun."

"I know." Suho paused. "I can't believe I'm dead. That being said, what happened to you?"

"What?"

"You've been so distant, Bora. My fiance and I were sure you accidentally got pregnant or something."

"I mean, I see the others once in a while-- Wait. Are we really going to talk about this?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air. "You're dead, you need to clean up and the conversation is on me?"

"I was dying already, Bora. This is just a shortcut. Besides, why would we talk about me?" 

His eyes filled with sadness, his pupils darkening than they already were and I was sure that if he didn't have blood on his face, I would have seen a tear. 

"And what will we talk about? About how my fiance is probably devastated right now and her heart is probably hurting at the fact that I'm no longer going to be here with her?"

"I... I don't know, Suho. I'm so sorry. I just." I inhaled, grabbing the soju bottle for another swig of its contents. "What are you going to do? Ascend?"

"One, I don't know what that means. Two, I am far from fulfilled. I'm only going to leave if she's going to find another man." He told me and I my lips to wet them. "She's the love of my life, Bora. I can't leave until I know she's taken care of."

I didn't say anything to that.

"You know, you have a spiritual pouch?" I asked, Suho perking up from the information. 

"Can I organize it?" I gave him a look and he gave me a soft smile. "You have to plan my funeral Bora. I know Yixing would be all hands-on with it but he doesn't know what I want."

"I guess I can do that." I wanted to assure him. That it would be okay but then I didn't know what he was going through. "Yixing is probably still in his hospital right now. He would have already made his way back."

"Yixing hates big hospitals. He's got a good heart." Suho murmured. "Call him tomorrow. Go to the funeral home.