Chapter Five:

Returning to the room, Hyukjae stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of his pretend boyfriend.

“Donghae!”

“Hyukjae?” A smile broke across the man’s face, and for the first time it was his whole face. The bandages had been removed from over his eyes and he was almost upright in the bed.

“Donghae,” he took a few hesitant steps, “Can you…? Can you see?”

“No,” he frowned, pouting his lips in the most adorable fashion ever. “Not really.”

Well, it was a bittersweet relief for Hyukjae, but at least it freed him up to make his way to Donghae’s side. Taking the chair, heavily, as he was feeling like garbage, he grabbed Donghae’s hand and took a good look at the man.

“What does that mean? What did Doctor Park say?”

“It’s still dark, but there’s some gray in it, I guess. He flashed a light at my eyes, and I noticed the difference. I probably look horrible, though, don’t I?”

“Not horrible,” Hyukjae insisted, though the bruises around his eyes looked painful and there was still a bandage across his forehead, no doubt the point of impact with the steering wheel during the accident. “You just look like a panda.”

“A what?” Donghae chuckled. “A panda?”

“You have big dark circles around your eyes from bruising. But your eyes still look pretty.”

“I’m ugly now,” Donghae pouted even harder, blinking his eyes as if he were about to cry.

“It’s just some bruising,” Hyukjae said softly, reaching up to delicately Donghae’s cheek. The way the man leaned into the touch made him hold his breath. So precious and sweet, like a child searching for comfort. “It will all go away with time and you’ll be as handsome as ever.”

“Do you think so? You still want to look at me?”

“I could look at you all day,” Hyuk promised, meaning it. “You’re beautiful, Donghae, always.”

The lower lip slipped between Donghae’s teeth as he tried to smile, but it was clear his doubts were battling with the confidence gained from Hyukjae’s words. After a few moments, his tongue slipped out to wet his lips and he whispered, “Thank you, Hyukjae.”

“How do you feel? Did the doctor say anything else? What about your head?”

“I have a cut, and it’s still swollen on the outside. There’s a mild fracture but he said it should heal on its own because the x-ray showed no sign of bone fragments or anything. We just have to wait for the swelling to go down inside my skull and my vision should start getting better. It could still take a while though.”

“That’s good then. Give yourself time to heal.”

“I will. I don’t have much choice. I’m glad I can sit up though. I was getting really bored lying down. And I can get out of bed as well, as long as I have an orderly to help me.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Yeah,” Donghae leaned toward him and dropped his voice to a whisper, “I had to take a earlier and I was really glad I didn’t have to somehow do it in bed.”

Hyukjae burst out laughing, both from the disgusting idea of it, and the confidential way Donghae had told him, as if he were a child telling a naughty story and not wanting any adults to overhear. “I can only imagine what a relief that must have been.”

“In more ways than one,” Donghae nodded, grinning.

That only made Hyukjae laugh harder.

Donghae seemed much happier with the bandages off. And when Sora arrived, she let out a shout of glee and raced over to the bedside, dropping the tray of drinks into Hyukjae’s hands so hastily he barely balanced them. Then she gently touched Donghae’s face and started cooing over him.

“It’s so good to see your face! You’re just too cute, Donghae!”

“Hyukjae says I look like a panda,” he admitted with a bashful expression.

“Well, pandas are adorable and so are you. Are you feeling better? How are your eyes?”

And Donghae explained again what the doctor had told him and the results of his examination. Sora was nodding at the end of it and offered the same encouragement Hyukjae had.

He also loved the coffee she had brought him, letting out a moan of satisfaction upon tasting it that did unexpected things to Hyukjae’s insides.

“Noona, this is amazing!”

“Hyukjae said it was your favorite, so I asked Yesung where to get a good one. You like it?”

“I love it, thank you.”

“No problem. Anything for my new favorite dongsang,” she teased, winking at Hyuk.

“Still a traitor,” he muttered at her.

“Your sister is so nice,” Donghae gave a lovely smile in Sora’s direction.

“Donghae?” a male voice from the doorway shocked them all speechless. Sora turned curiously, but Hyukjae swallowed in fear before turning to the visitor.

“Yes?” the man in question answered timidly.

Standing at the entrance to the room, staring at Donghae with wide, worried eyes, was a ridiculously attractive man, probably a few years older than him. They didn’t look much alike, but the way the stranger was staring was indicative that this man must be Donghae’s brother.

As he stepped farther into the room, he replied, “Donghae, it’s me.”

Hyukjae felt how the grip on his hand tightened almost painfully, and he glanced over to see that Donghae was looking frightened and was blinking rapidly, close to tears.

“Hae, baby…” the man breathed out, wounded, taking a few steps closer.

“He can’t remember,” Sora was the one to break the tension. “He has short-term memory loss from the accident.”

“What? They just said he hit his head! Donghae, I’m your brother. Heechul. Chullie-hyung. You don’t remember me?”

“I’m sorry,” Donghae finally started crying, fat tears rolling down his cheek as his lips quivered.

“It’s okay,” Hyukjae was fast to try and sooth him. “Your brother understands. You understand, don’t you?”

Hyukjae turned to stare at the man, who belatedly seemed to notice the two other people at his brother’s bedside, Heechul nodded in confusion before moving closer.

“Yeah, I get it. But that . Don’t cry, baby, it’s going to be all right.” Heechul leaned over attempting to catch Donghae’s eyes, not realizing he couldn’t see, either. Hyukjae made a motion to catch his attention, startled at the intensity of the man’s face when he turned to look. Pointing to his own eyes, he shook his head and mouthed, “He can’t see.”

A horrified expression was swiftly replaced by remorse. “You don’t have to worry any more Hae, I’m back now.”

Donghae nodded, still teary and a bit unsure. But what came out of his mouth shocked everyone. “It’s okay. Hyukjae’s been taking good care of me.”

“Has he?” Heechul now focused on the man sitting beside his brother, eyes narrowing. “And who is Hyukjae?”

“My boyfriend,” Donghae answered innocently.

“Your boyfriend…” the older man murmured, suspicion and disbelief radiating off him in waves.

“We never had the chance to meet,” Hyukjae offered, back pressing into the chair in a vain attempt to move away from him.

“And I’m Sora, Hyuk’s older sister,” his noona came to his rescue. “You obviously haven’t had a chance to speak to Donghae’s doctor yet. Let me show you where the nurse’s station is, and you can hear all the details of his condition firsthand.”

“Well, I—” Heechul attempted as Sora grabbed him by the arm and gave him a stern look.

“Donghae, we’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay, noona.”

This was bad. So very bad. Heechul knew something. Probably that Donghae had a totally different boyfriend. At least that his boyfriend had another name. Which Hyukjae didn’t know, so he couldn’t have even pretended at it. Not that he wanted to.

As their older siblings left the room, Sora dragging a reluctant Heechul beside her, Donghae called out, “Hyuk?”

“Yes, Hae?”

“Is my brother upset?”

“No! Of course not. He was just shocked. Obviously, they didn’t tell him anything about what happened to you aside from the fact that you were in an accident. But Sora’s going to take care of it. It’s probably best for one of the doctors to explain it.”

“Did he look… angry?”

“Angry? No! Not at all. He looked really worried about you. I’m sure he was surprised if they only told him you hit your head and not the full extent of your injuries. But don’t worry, Sora will make sure he hears everything from the doctor.”

“What did…” Donghae hesitated, twisting his lips.

“Ask me,” Hyukjae encouraged him.

“Does he look like me?”

“Your brother? Not that much. Not like Sora and I. People think we’re copies sometimes we look so alike. But your brother is handsome, just like you are.”

“Will you stay with me? When he’s here? I… I feel…”

“What, Hae?”

“Not scared, exactly. I know he’s my brother so I shouldn’t be scared of him. But I’m worried, I guess. I feel like I disappointed him somehow and it’s probably me being mixed up from the accident and everything, but…”

“I keep telling you, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“Okay,” Donghae nodded, finally giving Hyukjae a small smile.

Just then their siblings re-entered the room. Sora had a triumphant smirk on her face and Heechul’s eyes were narrowed in a curiously calculating manner. He studied Hyukjae for a moment before giving him a wide grin that was slightly terrifying.

“Donghae, baby, I’m back.”

“Hi, hyung.”

“Listen, kiddo, I don’t want you to worry about anything from now on, all right? Your Hyung is here and I’m going to sort out this whole mess.”

“What mess?”

“You know… the accident and all that. And I’m going to find a place to stay tomorrow morning so that when they release you, you can move in with me until you’re well enough to be on your own again.”

“Can Hyukjae visit me there?”

“Hyukjae can visit whenever you want him to,” the older man smirked at Hyuk and his brother’s leg.

“But the doctor said he didn’t know when my sight would come back. Or my memories.”

“There’s no rush, Hae baby. I’m back and I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

“Thank you, Hyung.”

“So, Hyukjae, how long have the two of you been dating? Donghae never did give me all the details.”

“Spring,” Hyukjae said quietly.

“We met in the park while I was taking pictures,” Donghae added proudly.

“Indeed,” Heechul smirked again. He was opening his mouth to say something else when Sora hit him in the back of the head. Turning to her furiously, his retort withered on his lips in the face of her stern glare.

Whatever his sister had said in the hallway, she had somehow convinced Donghae’s brother not to say anything to upset the balance of Hyuk’s charade. Damn, he loved his sister so much. She really was a force of nature. He was extra glad to call her his own, and once again thankful to Yesung for having the patience to love her.

“Hyung? Hyukjae is really nice. He’s been here with me almost every minute since I woke up. I was so scared, I couldn’t see anything and couldn’t remember, but he’s helped me through everything.”

“That’s really good, kid. I’m glad you weren’t alone. I know how much that would have scared you.”

For the first time Donghae gave his brother a smile, and Heechul seemed so relieved by the sight, Hyuk thought he might cry.

“I’m glad you’re here, too, Hyung. Did you try to call me? I don’t know where my phone is. Hyukjae thinks the police still have it.”

“Yeah, maybe. They were the ones who contacted me about the accident.”

“Hyung? Where were you? Why did it take you so long to come?”

“I was… I was in Japan. But it took me some time to arrange everything and get a flight. I’m sorry. I came as quickly as I could.”

“What were you doing there? Japan isn’t far.”

“I was working. And I had to cut my business short, which didn’t go over very well with the person I was working for,” Heechul frowned to himself, shaking his head a bit, “But it doesn’t matter. I’ll take the loss, you’re much more important to me.”

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Donghae made his sad, pouting face, which had the same effect on his brother that it had on everyone.

Heechul let out a sigh and rubbed Donghae’s leg again. “You don’t have to be sorry. You never have to be sorry about anything, Hae. I promise. None of this is your fault, okay?”

“Okay,” the youngest of them nodded, but his smile was strained, and he looked tearful again.

“Hey, is there someplace to get some food around here? I came straight from the airport and I haven’t eaten anything all day. Hyukjae? You know your way around here, right?”

“I… do. Sure.”

“Perfect. Donghae, can I borrow your boyfriend for a second? Sora-ssi? You don’t mind entertaining my brother for a few minutes while we go for some food, do you?”

“I’d be happy to. Donghae’s my favorite little brother, right Donghae?”

Hyukjae noticed, so he was sure Heechul did as well, but the smile Donghae gave Sora was much brighter than any expression he had aimed at his actual sibling since Heechul appeared. The older man gazed at his little brother wistfully, but still stood up and held out his hand to Hyukjae.

“Sora-noona?” Donghae whispered in an exaggerated way, “You’re going to make your brother feel bad if you keep saying that.”

“Why? Hyuk knows how much I love him. I haven’t even hit him today,” she laughed out loud, making Donghae giggle as well.

“Hyuk, I’ll be okay. You should show Hyung where to get some food. Maybe you can get to know him better.”

“I think you’re the one who needs to do that more than me,” Hyuk muttered, “But if you’re fine with it, I don’t mind.”

They didn’t make it two feet from the doorway before Heechul backed him against the wall and hissed, “Who the hell are you people and what are you trying to do to my brother?”

Hyukjae was expecting it, but Heechul was still frightening with his intense eyes and menacing aura. With a deep sigh he answered, “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but please find somewhere we can sit down first? I won’t last long if I have to stand the whole time we talk.”

“Why? Was your sister really telling the truth? Are you dying?”

“I am,” Hyuk admitted. “Eventually. Hopefully not too soon, but that might depend on whether you let me sit down.”

“Well, ,” the other man expostulated. Gazing around them he caught sight of a sitting area down the hall and asked, “Can you walk over there?”

“I should make it. I’ll let you know if I start feeling weak.”

They reached the small lounge, blessedly empty at that hour, and took seats opposite one another. Without waiting for the interrogation, he told Donghae’s brother everything. How his medical condition had landed him in the hospital, the slim chance of finding an organ that was compatible, his loneliness and regret over never finding love. How he had talked to his new roommate simply for something to do and found himself entranced by the frightened man. Most of all, how Donghae had seemed so happy with all of it, which made Hyukjae happy, even if he had anticipated it all crashing and burning once Donghae’s family finally showed up.

“Well, I’m the only family he’s got, so at least you don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

“Except his real boyfriend.”

Heechul made a face so ferocious that Hyukjae leaned away from him. “You met that ?”

“Not really. He showed up the morning after Donghae was admitted. He was a huge jerk and acted like this was all Donghae’s fault and made it sound like he was worthless now that he was hurt and there was a chance some of it was permanent. I was hoping he wouldn’t come back at all.”

“Wouldn’t that be wonderful,” Heechul growled. “Even though I don’t think he’ll give up that easily.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Listen,” Heechul waved away the question. “As far as I’m concerned, anyone would be an improvement over that jerk. And I can’t say I like your whole fake- relationship, but Donghae does seem comfortable with you. If never remembering anything means he doesn’t remember the that’s happened in the last year, then I’m willing to make that sacrifice even if he doesn’t remember me. But if you hurt him, I swear I will tear your kidneys out myself do you understand me?”

“But if he does remember, he’s going to be so confused and angry with me.”

“I’ll deal with that.”

“How?” Hyukjae asked, clueless as to what the older man was thinking.

“You’ll just have to trust me. I’ve done a lot more underhanded things than hiring someone to pretend to be my amnesiac brother’s boyfriend.”

“What?”

“If he remembers the truth, just tell him I asked you to do it. Say you fell in love with him by accident, I don’t care about that part. I mean, if you do love him, then more power to you. But he already has plenty of reasons to be angry with me, so adding one more doesn’t matter much as long as he’s finally happy.”

“I really don’t understand you at all,” Hyuk admitted, perhaps even more scared now than he was earlier.

“Don’t worry about me. Just keep him happy, that’s all I’m asking. Tomorrow I need to take care of some business and check on what’s happening with that loser boyfriend of his. I need to get a place to stay so Donghae can be with me until he recovers. I’ll talk to the doctor for real and see when they’re thinking of releasing him.”

“Okay,” Hyukjae agreed reluctantly, wondering if Heechul was even crazier than he was.

“Come on, we should get back before he misses us.”

Hyukjae trailed after the man warily, but Heechul didn’t forget about him. He kept checking on Hyukjae and making sure he was all right. He might be a bit scary, and definitely weird, but he didn’t seem like a bad person. Hyukjae wondered why he thought Donghae would be mad at him.

Sora bowed out shortly after they came back, claiming she had promised to pick up Yesung, but Heechul stayed almost until visiting hours were over. He filled in Donghae on some of their early lives without going into heavy detail. But that was how Hyukjae found out that they had been orphaned when Heechul was only seventeen and Donghae not quite fourteen. That they had struggled a lot in order to stay together. That Heechul had managed to put Donghae through college. He admitted that they hadn’t been on the best of terms recently, hinting that it had to do with Heechul’s lifestyle, which he refused to elaborate on.

And before he left, he took his little brother’s hand and said, “No matter if you remember your life or not, just know that I love you more than anyone in the world. Even if you’re angry with me, even if you don’t want to talk to me, just know that I’ll do anything for you and I only want to keep you happy. I love you, little brother.”

“Hyung,” Donghae was starting to cry again. He had grown more and more confused as Heechul had rambled about their lives, and Hyuk had noticed more than once that Donghae had questions he wanted to ask but decided not to. “I…”

“It’s okay, I know you don’t remember why you love me, too. But I know, so it’s all right.”

Donghae’s eyes squeezed shut tightly and his lips pushed out into a pout as tears began to roll down his cheeks. Heechul stepped close to the bed and asked, “Can I hug you, baby?”

A nod was his answer, but Donghae didn’t flinch when his brother carefully put his arms around him. Once Heechul was holding him, he relaxed and gently patted his brother’s shoulder. It reminded Hyuk of the way children would sometimes comfort their parent when they themselves were the ones crying. Heechul also noticed the action, darting a glance over his shoulder before giving his brother a kiss on the side of his face.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. I want to remember, I really do.”

“Whatever happens, happens,” Heechul commented with a sigh. “But it still doesn’t change that I love you. Everything is going to be all right, I promise.”

“Okay,” Donghae agreed.

“Well, I have a bunch to do if I want to take you home when they release you. I’ll give you two some time alone before visiting hours end. Hyukjae, you take care of my baby Hae.”

“I will,” Hyuk agreed softly, touched by the amount of love in Heechul’s words and actions. At least he knew that there would be someone looking out for Donghae if this ruse came tumbling down.

When they were alone, Donghae sank back into his bed, looking worn out.

“Tired?” Hyuk asked, mildly concerned because of everything that had happened.

“A little,” Donghae admitted, then shook his head. “A lot.”

“Do you want me to tell you more stories?”

“Can we… can you just hold my hand? I think I want to sleep.”

“I can do that,” Hyukjae promised.

“Thanks, Hyuk. I feel so confused and lost, but when you’re with me it’s always better.”

“Then I’ll make sure I’m always here when you need me,” he promised. “How about a kiss goodnight as my reward for being so awesome?”

The thin lips widened into a smile as Donghae nodded, his eyes struggling to stay open.

It wasn’t the passionate kiss they’d shared earlier, but Hyukjae didn’t care. He was happy enough to know Donghae wanted him there. With all the worst-case scenarios that could have happened that day, things had gone incredibly well. And when Donghae fell asleep, Hyuk went over to his own bed and passed out in sheer exhaustion, feeling content.

When Hyukjae woke up the next morning, he felt terrible. He was weak and wobbly as he made his way to the bathroom, and even though he felt bloated, he barely produced any urine. It wasn’t a good sign, especially with how fatigued he had been the last few days and the constant bouts of nausea.

Glancing over at Donghae’s bed, he noted that the other man had his eyes closed and seemed to still be sleeping. As much as he would like to be the one to wake him up, Hyukjae wasn’t feeling well enough, and instead crawled back into his own bed, hoping more rest would help.

He must have fallen back asleep because the sound of voices woke him. Blinking, he saw Doctor Park and the nurse talking to Donghae, who was awake and listening carefully to whatever was being said. Glancing at his phone, Hyukjae saw that it was already past 9am. . Donghae had probably been looking for him and he hadn’t been there. This wasn’t a good start for the day at all.

Easing himself upright, he caught the attention of the doctor and saw him frown as he watched Hyukjae’s careful movements. He tried to make a face, wave off their attention, but the nurse – not one of the usual ones he was friends with – commented, “Ah, good morning, Mister Lee.”

“Good morning,” he grumbled back, wincing both from pain, and the way Donghae’s eyes widened with hope and concern.

“Hyukjae? Are you feeling all right?” Doctor Park asked.

“Fine, Doc, just a bit of a headache. I overslept.” He made a motion at his lips, begging the doctor with his eyes to not say anything incriminating.

“Hyukjae?” Donghae asked tentatively, “Are you sick?”

“No, of course not,” Hyukjae scoffed, fervently glad at that moment that Donghae couldn’t see him and wouldn’t know what a huge lie he’d just told.

The nurse opened to say something, her brows raised, but Doctor Park caught her eye and shook his head. “Nurse Kang, would you be a dear and arrange to have those tests set up for me later?”

“Certainly, Doctor,” she nodded, casting an odd look at Hyukjae as she walked from the room.

Carefully, Hyukjae sat down, unable to hide the pain. But he took Donghae’s hand and squeezed it, which made his pretend boyfriend smile.

“Hyukjae, you really don’t look too good. Maybe you should come and stop by my office later.”

“Hyuk?” Donghae questioned, now clearly worried.

“It’s fine, Doc.” Hyukjae persisted, even in the face of Doctor Park’s stern expression.

“If you don’t feel good, maybe you should get a check-up?” the younger man asked quietly.

“Donghae, I’m all right, really. I’ll explain later. Sorry I came so late, by the way.”

Doctor Park was staring a hole through him, and Hyukjae rolled his eyes at the older man and nodded, mouthing the words, “Later, please?”

“Well, if you say you’re fine, I guess I’ll see you both later. Donghae, I’ll schedule that MRI and we’ll take a look at your brain, okay?”

“Well, I won’t be looking,” Donghae pouted. “I think it would be kind of cool to know what my brain looks like.”

“If you want, I’ll have them print some hard copies for you so you can see them when your vision returns,” the doctor chuckled.

“Could you?” Donghae asked excitedly, straightening in his bed. Hyukjae chuckled despite how poorly he was feeling. The man was simply too cute.

“I can, and I will. I’ll see you soon.”

The moment he was gone, Donghae questioned him. “Hyuk, why were you so late? I woke up and called for you, and when you weren’t here, I got scared. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m so sorry, Hae. When I left here last night my friend called me and wanted to come over and talk. He’s having trouble with his girlfriend, and… well, Kyu likes to drink. A lot. And I had a couple drinks as well, which I don’t normally do. I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I should and it just kind of knocked me out. I hadn’t set an alarm either, so I overslept and sort of feel like this morning.”

“Oh, Hyukjae, you’re not sleeping because of me, right? I should be sending you home earlier. I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay here all the time. I love having you here, but I don’t want you to get sick, either.”

“It’s just a hangover,” he lied through his teeth, knowing Doctor Park was right and he really should let the man know about his worsening condition. “I keep telling you I’d rather be at your side than anywhere else. If I could stay with you 24 hours a day, I would. Of course, your bed is a little small for that.”

His diversion worked. Donghae smiled shyly, his cheeks turning a bit pink. “I’m sure we could both fit if we tried.”

“Don’t start trying to seduce me,” Hyuk teased, guessing it would take Donghae’s mind off Hyuk not feeling well. “Not right after your doctor was here talking about scanning your brain.”

“Oh, yeah, he wants to check the internal swelling. Make sure they didn’t miss anything.”

“That’s good then, right? Does it mean he thinks the swelling is going down?”

“He said he thought it was. They’re going to run some tests on my eyes as well.”

“When are they doing all that?” Hyuk asked, hoping it would give him some time to rest and recuperate.

“Probably around lunchtime. Oh,” Donghae frowned. “That means I won’t be able to spend as much time with you. You’ll still have to take care of your business today, won’t you?”

“Unfortunately, yes. You think you’ll be okay?”

“Doctor Park said he would be there with me. He’s really nice, I like him.”

“Yeah,” Hyukjae could agree easily. He’d known the doctor for years now and almost considered him a friend, even though the only time they ever spent together was during Hyukjae’s numerous hospital visits. “He seems like a good guy.”

Now that he had been upright for a while Hyukjae was feeling better, but he didn’t want to eat anything, and was overly thirsty. He really needed to check in with the doctor either before or after his treatment today. He had promised his family he wouldn’t push himself too hard, but it seemed like all the extra activity, being here for Donghae instead of resting like he normally did, was wearing down his defenses.

He made the best of the situation. He and Donghae talked a little bit about Heechul and what he might have meant by some of the things he had said the night before. Donghae was saddened to know that he had no parents. He wished he could remember what they had been like, whether he’d had a happy childhood. His brother hadn’t really gone into any detail, hadn’t even said how they had passed away.

“I wish I could have told him I loved him. I was so confused when he said it,” Donghae sighed. “But now that I’ve had time to think about it, to really let my feelings in, I know I love him, too.”

“He knows. He said as much. And honestly, Hae, when he was talking to you, I would have bet anything that he meant every word.”

“Was he sad?”

“I think a little sad that you couldn’t remember the good times. But maybe you two had argued about something before the accident. He kind of seemed glad that you couldn’t remember that.”

“I wonder what it was?”

“Who knows?”

“I never said anything to you? About arguing with my brother?”

“No, we didn’t really talk about him. I just knew you had a brother, but we hadn’t had a chance to meet because he was away so often.”

“Hyukjae? The doctor said they might release me soon. If my scans are good and I can walk without assistance they could consider sending me home if I have someone with me.” Donghae bit his lip as he awaited a response.

Hyukjae wasn’t sure what response he could give. “That’s great, Hae.”

“I know… I know you’ve been spending a lot of time here with me already and you probably have to get back to your work and things soon. But, do you think, if Heechul-hyung can find a place, maybe you would be able to spend time with me there, as well? If you still want to?”

“Of course, I will. I’ll come as often as I possibly can, Hae.”

“And you could spend the night there, too. I wouldn’t have to send you away all the time.”

“I would love that,” Hyukjae told him. Once again, the truth. There was nothing he would love more than to be curled up in bed holding Donghae. Too bad it was never going to happen.

“Good,” Donghae smiled. “Even if I still can’t see you, at least I could hold you.”

“That would be awesome.”

“Do you miss holding me?” came the soft question, and Hyukjae saw the longing expression.

“I really miss it,” he nearly whispered, heart aching at how much he longed for it, too.

They spent the remaining time before lunch talking about random things. Donghae tried to explain more about his “feelings”. The deep sense he felt about certain things, or people. Like how he knew he loved his brother, but somehow thought there had been trouble between them. He didn’t know why he would have been angry with Heechul though. On the contrary, he felt like he may have disappointed his brother somehow. Hyukjae didn’t have a clue about any of it, but he was glad Donghae was focusing on his brother and not his pre-accident relationship.

Sora sent a text that she would probably be tied up that night taking care of something for their father, who was still in France. But she said Yesung would try to stop by with some homemade kimchi and mandu that their mother had made for him and Donghae. His mother’s back was still bothering her, so she was mostly working from home, causing Sora to do all the office business on her own, or with Yesung’s help.

Of course, he didn’t tell Donghae all the details. Especially not the fact that it was his own absence due to the illness, that was leaving them so short-staffed now. He truly wished there were more he could do to help aside from the limited research he was able to conduct from his laptop. He had always enjoyed meeting with potential clients, learning their travel desires and crafting the perfect vacations for them. It was even more fun when he ended up guiding those same people on their tours. Certainly, there was always someone who wanted to complain about everything. But for the most part his parents had created a successful business because they both loved to travel and explore new places, and they had raised their children to love the same.

When the nurse came to collect Donghae for his testing, Hyukjae asked if he would be all right by himself, reassured by Donghae’s high spirits about the entire thing. He was excited by the idea of leaving the hospital, thinking he would have more freedom, and more personal time with his boyfriend. Hyukjae really didn’t have the heart to say anything to the contrary. He just prayed that Heechul hadn’t been lying when he said he was willing to help downplay the foul trick Hyukjae had been playing this entire time.

Not five minutes after Donghae and the nurse had left to get ready for his MRI, Doctor Park himself came into their room.

“I have a short time while they set him up for the MRI. What’s going on with you?” he demanded of Hyukjae.

“I think I’m getting worse. I’m barely pissing out anything. I feel exhausted all the time, bloated, and nauseous. I keep getting headaches that come and go.”

“That’s what I was afraid of. I already scheduled you for a full work up before your treatment today. I’ll be with Donghae, so my colleague Doctor Shin will be handling it. I’m going to have you go for an extra hour today, and we’ll be monitoring you more closely until all the results are back.”

“Okay,” Hyuk agreed without a fuss.

“And Hyukjae? I know you care about Donghae, but you must be aware that he could be leaving soon if all his tests go well. He’s going to notice when you can’t come visit him anymore. I suggest you start thinking of a way to tell him the truth about your condition.”

“I will,” he nodded, his head bowed under the weight of his deception. Telling the truth after all his lies was not going to be easy.