Chapter Eight:

The next day was nothing if not worse. When he woke in the morning, he was hungry and needed the bathroom. He hesitated at calling out for Min Hyun. His boyfriend had said he was busy today, but surely, he wouldn’t just abandon Donghae here by himself, would he?

He would and he had. Donghae was all alone in the strange place, the only rooms he was vaguely aware of being the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen – if he could get there without being able to see anything. Thankfully, the bathroom was across the hall. With cautious steps, hands moving around in front of him, he was able to find it and empty his bladder. He washed his hands and splashed cold water on his face, wishing he could take a shower. He felt dirty and had been wearing the same clothes for over a day.

But a shower was beyond his limited capabilities and besides, he had nothing else to change into. It took quite a while to feel his way to the kitchen, and even there he had no idea what it was that his hands were touching in the refrigerator and cabinets. He finally found something that he was able to identify as an apple and ate it greedily, following with a second one and some water from the sink.

Just this small amount of activity, on top of his crushing depression and sadness, exhausted the little bit of energy he had. He slowly crept back to the bedroom, lying down on the bed, and hugging himself under the blankets as the cold, still, emptiness of the apartment smothered him.

Over the course of that day he realized another thing about himself. He hated being alone. With this total loss of hope, he found his mind turning once again to the only thing that had brought him any joy since waking up from his accident. He cried quietly as he remembered the soft, encouraging sound of Hyukjae’s voice and the way he had always held Donghae’s hand, seeming to know exactly when to distract him.

If Hyukjae was a dream, he hoped that sleep might bring him back, even for a few minutes of peace. But luck wasn’t on his side.

“Donghae, he’s no good for you! Why can’t you see it?”

“He loves me, Hyung. And I love him. Why are you always so hard on him? You know how much I want this relationship to work,” Donghae whined to his brother.

“He doesn’t love you, Hae. God, why won’t you believe me? There’s a lot you don’t know about that scumbag, and—”

“Hyung, please? You don’t even know him. If you got to know him, you would see that you’re wrong.”

“I know things about him, Hae. Things I don’t want to have to tell you.”

“You know things? How? From one of your… friends?”

“Yes,” Heechul frowned, hands on his hips. “From a friend. And it’s nothing good. He’s no good. And he’s certainly no good for someone like you! He’s going to take advantage of you.”

“Well, you would know.”

“That’s low, Hae.”

“Then why should I listen to you when you never listen to me? You don’t have to live like this anymore, Hyung! I can take care of you. You can work for my company.”

“You know how ill-suited I would be for that,” Heechul scoffed. “And I can take care of myself just fine. You think I’d still do what I do if I didn’t like it?”

“But Hyung…”

“And this isn’t about me. It’s about you. He’s going to hurt you and I refuse to let that happen.”

“So, you can take care of yourself and I can’t? Is that what you’re saying? I’m too stupid to know what’s right in front of me?”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Min Hyung loves me. He wouldn’t hurt me. It took so long for us to get together and I want to be happy now. If you can’t support that then maybe we shouldn’t talk for a while.”

“Hae! Baby, no. Don’t say that. You’re everything to me. You know all I’ve ever wanted to do is take care of you and make sure you’re happy.”

“Well I am happy. And you don’t like it because I have someone else to take care of me now and it’s not you.”

“Hae, that’s just not true!”

“I have to go, Hyung. I need to go to work.”

“Hae, don’t be this way, please?”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

Donghae woke from his dream breathing hard. Was this an actual memory? An argument with his brother? Was that why his brother was worried he would be angry with him? Because Heechul hadn’t liked Min Hyun? Setting aside his own apparent distaste for whatever life his brother was living, Donghae tried to recall his impassioned defense of the man whose apartment he was in.

He had insisted Heechul was wrong about Min Hyun. Was convinced that his boyfriend loved him and wouldn’t hurt him. And indeed, everything Min Hyun had said bore out that theory. He was still taking care of Donghae, even though Donghae must have done something terrible to him.

It made his head hurt even worse and he wished he had brought some water with him to the bedroom, because he felt too weak to even walk across the hall. His head had been hurting earlier and it was worse after sleeping. But he had no medication to take and wasn’t sure what he should be taking anyway. Surely the doctors had given a prescription for his pain. They wouldn’t have sent him home without something. Then again, they had assumed Donghae would have someone caring for him.

It was really the first seed of doubt since he had left the hospital. Min Hyun said he was trying to handle Donghae’s mess, but he didn’t seem to care what was happening to Donghae himself. Even if he were angry about the things Donghae had done in the past, wouldn’t he at least have enough human decency to make sure Donghae had something to eat? Medication for his pain? A shower?

Was Min Hyun that oblivious of his boyfriend’s suffering? Or did he just not care? And if he didn’t care, then why bring Donghae here when he probably could have left him in the hospital longer? Why the rush? To keep him away from Heechul? But Min Hyun hadn’t even known Heechul was back until Donghae told him.

All the questions made his head hurt even more, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Donghae was obviously not the best person. His failing business and poor boyfriend skills were proof enough of that. But even he felt that if he loved someone, he would give them at least the minimal of care after an accident, no matter if that person had hurt him or not. It felt wrong. Everything about all of this felt wrong. And he had no idea what he could say or do, if and when Min Hyun came home, to express any of his emotions without starting another argument.

As it was, Min Hyun left him alone for the entire day, returning that evening, or at least Donghae assumed it was evening, with dinner for them both. He had brought Donghae soup this time, claiming he should be able to eat it without making too much of a mess.

Donghae ate quietly, not saying much aside from please and thank you. When he was halfway finished he heard a clink as Min Hyun set aside his utensils.

“I have a meeting set up for the day after tomorrow. We’ll see the lawyers and explain the situation. You’ll have to sign paperwork to turn over your control of the company to me.”

“Why?”

“Because someone needs to make decisions.”

“Couldn’t I just authorize whatever needs to be done? You could simply advise me, and I could tell them.”

“You don’t exactly radiate confidence at the moment. You look like and you can’t even remember what your company does. How do you think the investors and partners will react to that?”

“But it’s just temporary, right? Until I get my memories back?”

“If you do. And if not, then what?”

“I don’t know,” Donghae replied sadly.

“If you can’t remember, that’s one thing. But Donghae, you can’t see, either. You won’t be able to work anymore if you can’t see. Turning over control of the company to me means you’ll at least have an income of some kind. I mean, you can’t expect me to support you forever. You’ll need care.”

Taking another small sip of his soup, Donghae attempted to process the meaning in Min Hyun’s words. He was sure there was more to what the man was saying. Frowning, Donghae asked, “Therapy, I suppose? But lots of people are blind and they do all right. I could learn everything again, I’m sure of it.”

“You weren’t doing a very good job at it before I came into the picture,” a cold tone answered him. “If it weren’t for my help the company would still be nothing. It was my ideas that started making you money.”

A chill raced through him, the statement triggering something deep inside Donghae. Fear. Uneasiness. But why? That was the thing he didn’t understand. Why would Min Hyun’s help make him uneasy? Why did the thought of turning over his company to the man scare him?

“I’d like to talk to the lawyers and see if there’s another way.”

The silence in response was deafening. But worse than that, Min Hyun got to his feet, his chair scraping harshly against the floor. A second later, Donghae’s food was snatched from his hands and he heard the metallic twang of a trash can opening and something heavy hitting the inside.

Min Hyun grabbed him by the arm and hauled him to his feet, pressing close to Donghae, the heat of the other man’s body against his own. “You listen to me you stupid little ! You’ve done this all to yourself. Do you understand? You never want to listen! It always has to be your way. I wanted to have some compassion for you, but you just keep arguing with me! I didn’t want to fall in love with you, but you kept after me until I gave in, even though it cost me my family and most of my friends. I did that for you, so try to remember it! I put up with your sloppiness, your lack of ambition, because I loved you. And it was always me that gave in, not you! I did everything you wanted. I even tried to be nice to your brother, disgusting money-grubbing that he is, because you asked me to. You owe me this, Donghae. You owe me something for all that I’ve had to put up with and all that I’m still doing now.”

“I’m sorry,” Donghae mumbled, his voice blurred by tears he couldn’t keep in.

“Sorry isn’t good enough. Just look at you! You look terrible. At least before the accident you were handsome, but now… I’m not even sure I can touch you.”

“I’ll get better,” he offered weakly.

“Will you? You think you can still excite me? Should we try it?”

Donghae froze like a statue when Min Hyuk’s hands pulled him closer, one behind his neck and the other at his back. He hadn’t realized until now how big the other man was. How muscular and strong. And when a pair of lips crashed into his own, he whimpered in sheer terror. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t good. He didn’t want to!

“!” Min Hyun yelled, pushing Donghae away so hard and fast that he stumbled backward, knocking into the countertop, managing to hit his injured wrist, bringing a fresh round of tears. “And now you’re a cold fish? You won’t even give me a kiss?”

“I’m—” Donghae tried to apologize again, automatically.

“Don’t even say it!” Min Hyun warned. “I’m not saying we didn’t have our good moments, but for someone who said he wanted me so bad that he convinced me to give up my whole life for him, you were never enthusiastic about . I was hoping you were going to get over that, being all scared and al. Do I have to start all over again with that, too? You really make me wonder if any of this is worth it.”

Donghae had no more words. He didn’t know what he could say in the face of this onslaught. All he wanted to do was cry, but the more he did of that, the angrier Min Hyun seemed to get.

“I think I need to lie down,” he whispered.

“You will see the lawyers with me,” Min Hyun stated with finality. “If you don’t… I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”

With those words, the other man left the room, his footsteps echoing until a door slammed elsewhere in the apartment. Attempting to catch his breath, Donghae stood where he was for a few minutes, the loud, angry words ringing in his head.

Everything around him was a dark gray with splotches of lighter gray sprinkled around. He wasn’t sure if it was the lights in the room or shapes around him. Feeling for the wall, he made his way back to the room he was using, dropping to the carpet once he was inside.

Min Hyun hated him. He had to. What could Donghae have possibly done to the man to make him hate so much? With his mind still scrambled up, he knew he would need to take time to go over everything, but he felt so tired that he wasn’t sure he could even crawl to the bed. There was one emotion that was pushing aside all the rest, though, and that was fear. He wasn’t safe here. He wasn’t safe with Min Hyun.

Slowly, he shuffled across the carpet on his hands and knees until he bumped into the bed, then crawled underneath the blankets, hoping the warmth would create even a thin layer of security.

Something was very wrong here, and for once Donghae didn’t place all the blame for it on himself. Min Hyun wanted control of everything, and that seemed to include Donghae and his company. Nothing made sense anymore.

“I told you not to come here! Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

“I missed you,” Donghae whined, feeling a tinge of panic. “Can’t you just let me stay here with you tonight?”

“I said no when you called. But you had to be difficult and come here anyway. So no, Donghae, you can’t stay here. I’m busy.”

“Busy with what? I barely see you at work and you haven’t come over in almost two weeks!”

“Go home, Donghae.”

“But, Min, I love you.”

“Then do what I tell you.”

“I—”

“Goodnight, Donghae.”

The door was slammed in his face. And while it hurt, it wasn’t exactly unexpected. And in the past, he would have accepted the defeat and moped his way back home, longing for the happiness he had thought they would share together when they started this relationship.

Donghae had been so reluctant in the beginning. While he knew that he preferred men, he’d been burned more than once in the past while attempting to find love in their homophobic society. The first time had been in college, and it turned out to be a prank. The second time had been later, after his military service, and things had gone well until they had gotten serious and his partner’s family had forced him to leave Donghae.

After that he’d resigned himself to admiring from afar, deciding that if love were to come to him, it would be a miracle. And unless that miracle occurred, it was fine to have innocent crushes. He had friends and his brother who knew the truth and liked him anyway, and for him that would have to be enough.

Until Min Hyun had come into his life and turned everything upside down. The other man was a few years younger but had charisma and good looks. He wasn’t gay, either, but that had never stopped Donghae from doting on people he found attractive. He kept his desires to himself and tried to be a good friend, because he truly enjoyed hanging around with the charming businessman who had so many interesting ideas that could help expand Donghae’s small company and bring more success.

He was never sure when it had turned into something more. Just that one night when Min Hyun had been drinking, he had kissed Donghae. And after that everything was like a whirlwind. There were laments about the hardship of committing to a life together and promises that it was worth it. And Donghae felt so special, knowing that this handsome, intelligent, and charming man found him worthy enough to risk everything for.

For a short time, Donghae had felt happy. There was joy in his world. And while the wasn’t everything he had hoped for, at least Min Hyun seemed to enjoy it. And that was enough for Donghae. His own discomfort and sometimes less than pleasurable experiences didn’t matter when the man he loved was happy. He did everything he could to keep that happiness alive. Even when he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.

But nothing was ever enough. Min Hyun always found something to complain about. Donghae could never do anything right. Still, he desperately wanted to, especially when he heard those three magic words from Min Hyun’s mouth. I love you. It was everything. So, he pushed away all the warning signs. He ignored it when Min Hyun’s physicality got a little rough. When he made suggestions for Donghae’s small company that went against the ideals he had in mind.

He had even argued with his brother. Heechul had tried to warn him and Donghae was stubborn and wouldn’t listen. He hadn’t wanted to listen. Because if he admitted that Min Hyun wasn’t perfect, then it meant his happy, hopeful life wasn’t either. And after tasting happiness, even for that short time, he craved more like an addiction. If he just worked hard enough, he promised himself, he could turn everything around and make it all good again.

Then Heechul had sent him the photos. Of Min Hyun and a beautiful woman. Kissing. Being close. Too close to be anything other than what Donghae knew they had to be. Lovers. His boyfriend was cheating on him. With a woman. Still, he had waited. Asking if they could be together. Swallowing the rejections. Hoping that it was a passing phase, that Min Hyun had an itch for what he had given up for Donghae, and that once he scratched it he would come back home to the man he said he loved.

Donghae lost his patience finally. After two weeks of rejections, not even seeing the man at work where he was supposed to be helping out. He called and begged to get together and was turned down. So, he got in his car and went to his boyfriend’s apartment, only to have the door slammed in his face.

He had never used the code before, wasn’t even sure Min Hyun remembered giving it to him. He probably hadn’t thought anything of it, knowing Donghae was too timid to ever enter someone else’s apartment without permission. But this time he didn’t care. He had to see it with his own two eyes, it was the only way he could force himself to gather the strength to do what he would need to.

Entering the apartment, he followed the sound of voices. The bedroom door was ajar. Pushing it slightly, he saw his boyfriend, the man he loved, on top of a woman, both of them barely dressed. She saw Donghae first, letting out a screech and grabbing for a sheet to cover herself. Min Hyun tried to get up, probably to chase after Donghae. But his foot got tangled in the sheet and he tripped, giving Donghae the extra moment he needed to turn and run.

He heard his boyfriend calling his name, and the tone wasn’t guilty or pleading. He was angry, and Donghae felt frightened for the first time. He had to get away. Had to think. He wanted to call his brother, to cry and beg for forgiveness, so that he could get some advice. But Heechul was in Japan. So Donghae simply escaped, letting out a sigh of relief when the elevator doors closed in time to separate him from Min Hyun, whose furious face was framed between them.

Getting in his car, he wasn’t even sure where to go. If he went home, Min Hyun would find him eventually. But it was late, and his few good friends would be sleeping. He decided to drive around until he stopped crying or found a place to sit and work through his emotions.

And that was when the truck in front of him hit a bump in the road, hard, and a moment later something was falling and Donghae slammed on the brakes, spinning the wheel to avoid whatever it was, and feeling the whole world turn upside down.

Donghae woke in a panic, staring into the darkness, his breathing ragged, clothing soaked in sweat. He had no idea what time it was. No idea where Min Hyun was. And no idea what to do.

What he did know, now, finally, was that Heechul had been right. That Min Hyun was not good for him. And while the entirety of the reasons still lingered in the depths of his mind, unremembered, his dreams had told him enough. He had not been brought here so that Min Hyun could care for him. Min Hyun didn’t care about him at all. He didn’t love Donghae. Probably hadn’t for some time, if ever. And now he was a hostage to the man’s desires.

After crying about it for a while, he managed to sit up, feeling weaker than ever, and make his way to the door. The apartment sounded quiet. He almost opened the door until he heard movement, probably in the kitchen. And then footsteps. In a rush, he made his way back to the bed, pulling the blanket over himself right as the door opened.

“Donghae. Are you awake?”

Murmuring a response, he acted as though he had just woken up.

“There’s food on the table. I suggest you eat something. I won’t be back until later.”

The door closed again, and Donghae inhaled deeply, willing his heart to calm down. He waited, probably longer than he needed to, to make sure Min Hyun was gone. Only then did he drag himself to the door again, opening it cautiously and listening before heading to the bathroom.

He knew one thing. He needed to escape this place. He wasn’t safe here and he had no defense to whatever Min Hyun planned to do. But what were his options? He wasn’t even sure he could find the front door. He could barely even feed himself and he felt even weaker today than he had the day before.

Carefully, he felt his way through the apartment, bitterly disappointed that his eyesight wasn’t coming back the way his memories seemed to be. He found a container on the kitchen table and opened it, smelling more of the same soup he’d eaten last night. But as hungry as he was, he didn’t eat. Instead he went to the counter where he had found the apples, cheering when his wandering hand encountered another. He ate it and had some water, which calmed his stomach a bit.

Then he decided he would try to map out the apartment. He had been here before, and his dream had recalled a brief image of the layout.

It was when he reached the entry hall that his hand inadvertently bumped against something and a bright light replaced the darkness he’d been living in for what seemed like an eternity.

That was the moment when he made his second major discovery. Because as he blinked his eyes against the sheer glare of white, he realized that he could see. Not well, not in detail, but he could make out shapes, define them as specific objects. Gazing around him in wonder, he saw that the entire apartment was dark, every window shrouded with curtains.

He wasn’t blind anymore. Min Hyun had just been keeping him in darkness!

Carefully, as the hall light didn’t carry across the entire space, Donghae made his way to the other side of the living room and pulled back the heavy curtains, instantly filling the space with sunlight.

Even though everything was still blurry, he could make out the furniture. Excited now, he moved through the entire apartment, flicking on all the lights and opening all the windows. With so much light, his vision was clearer. Donghae had never needed glasses before except for reading, but—

Wait! He had remembered something else! He knew he wore glasses for fine work! He couldn’t remember what that fine work might entail, but it was like a trickling leak that was gradually growing stronger, with more details popping out when he focused his attention elsewhere.

Wandering to the last room, Min Hyun’s bedroom, he filled the space with enough light to see and gazed around, not sure what he was looking for.

There was something on top of the dresser that seemed familiar. And when he stepped over to check, realized it was a phone. The case was blue with a picture that was far too blurry to make out. But it when he pressed the button. his dry lips, Donghae wondered if it was his phone. Min Hyun had probably been to the police station to gather his things. If he were a good boyfriend, he would have brought them to Donghae in the hospital when he visited. But he was too busy trying to take over Donghae’s life and manage his affairs to visit.

Hyukjae had… . The thought of the sweet man from the hospital made his heart clench tight in his chest. No ing wonder he had fallen in love with a total stranger. Hyukjae had been everything that Min Hyun wasn’t. Everything Donghae had always dreamed of finding if that miracle romance came his way. He missed him, as stupid as it probably was. He missed the soft voice and gentle touches. The lush lips that had kissed him with such beautiful sincerity.

back his sniffles, he shook his head to ward off those daydreams. He didn’t have time for this right now. He had to get to safety before worrying about Hyukjae and what might have happened between them. If anything had.

If this was his phone, it should have his brother’s number. So, he pressed the button again, holding it down until the robot voice asked what he wanted to do.

“Call Heechul,” he begged the device.

“Calling Heechul,” it responded, and a moment later the sound of the line ringing emerged, causing Donghae to let out a sob of happiness.

“Hae?” the familiar voice answered, sounding rather desperate. “Baby? Is that you?”

“Chullie-hyung,” Donghae cried into the phone.

“Baby! Where are you? Are you all right?”

“I need you. Please help me. Please come get me. Please hyung!”

“Baby, calm down, okay? Where are you?”

“Min Hyun. He took me from the hospital. I didn’t know what to do. Hyung, he’s… I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. I’ll come right now. I know where he lives, okay? Just keep your phone with you. Is he there now?”

“No. I don’t know where he went. I don’t know when he’s coming back. Hurry, Hyung, please?”

“I’m on my way. I’ll call you when I get there. Don’t let go of that phone, okay?”

“Okay,” Donghae whispered. “Thank you.”

“Hae, I told you already. I’ll do anything for you. I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I’ll be there as fast as I can, just wait for me.”

Donghae hung up the call, but as soon as he was alone again, he started to panic. What if Min Hyun came back unexpectedly? Would he refuse to let Donghae go? He might call the police on Heechul and then Donghae would be trapped here even more. Worse, he could do something to Donghae, put him somewhere that he couldn’t get away from.

Trembling from the overwhelming fear, he made his way back to the entrance, staring at the many pairs of shoes on the floor. None of them looked like they belonged to Donghae and Min Hyun had bigger feet. But he grabbed the most casual pair, tying them as tight as possible. He swayed when he stood back up, realizing he probably should have eaten something else, but too wary to trust whatever food Min Hyun may have prepared for him.

Opening the door of the apartment, clad only in the clothes he’d worn home from the hospital and shoes that slid around on his feet, he slowly made his way to the elevator, heart racing double-time in fear of being discovered.

It was only when he emerged from the lobby, after ignoring the questioning call from the desk attendant, that Donghae realized he had nowhere to go. Blinking against the bright sunlight, he thought he saw a small sitting area near the end of the building. There were a few trees and something brightly colorful that might be flowers. He walked in that direction; eyes wide as he avoided the other people on the sidewalk.

Slumping down on a bench, he stared back at the entrance to the building, waiting for Heechul’s call so that he could inform his brother that he was outside. The sweatshirt was no match for the chill breeze and even the bright sunlight couldn’t warm him up. He knew he was in bad shape, but he had to keep it together until his brother got here.

That was when he saw a familiar man emerge from a car and stalk toward the building. Even from a distance he now recognized Min Hyun, and he looked furious. The attendant must have called him. Shrinking into the bench, Donghae tried to hide himself. He couldn’t get caught. Not now!

His phone rang, startling him so much he nearly dropped it.

“Hello?”

“It’s me. I’m pulling up to the building now, but I don’t know which apartment number.”

“I’m outside. The benches near the building. But he’s here, hyung, I just saw him go inside!”

“Where are you? Oh wait, I see. Stay there, okay?”

Donghae listened to his brother giving directions to whoever had driven him there, and then less than a minute later saw someone running toward him. Someone taller, slim, with a cloud of wavy black hair.

He stood up and held out his arms, his lips squeezed together tightly in a pout that was attempting to hold back his tears. Then he was surrounded by the other man’s arms and everything felt right again.

“Hyung,” he wailed, clutching his brother tight.

“Oh Hae, baby, it’s okay now. I’ve got you.”

Donghae let himself be held, practically collapsing into his brother’s arms. He felt himself being half-carried to the car and a moment later was leaning against Heechul’s chest as his brother his hair and said soothing words to him. He may have out for a minute, but it didn’t matter. He was safe now.