Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff, Romance

Summary: Sakura wants to watch horror movies with Eunbi, Eunbi wants to go out with Sakura. It's easier said than done, though.

Or the five times Sakura and Eunbi almost went on a date and the one time they finally did.

Word Count: 7137

Hashtag: #KkubiFestival_HoldMyHand

hold my hand (i know you're scared)

This is a Canon-AU, meaning, they are IZ*One members here and thus, the “dates” are also based on real events. However, only the context of each event is used to create a setting so most of the dialogues here are fiction and there are modifications to the events. This story is created for the purpose of imagining an alternate reality of what ifs and for giving the kkubiologists something they can enjoy. Thank you for your understanding.

[1] Secret Friend Date (?)

They say the most effective way for your crush to like you is to take them in a horror house.  Go inside as friends; exit the house as a couple. It’s effective most of the time. Unless of course your date is one Miyawaki Sakura – a known coward – and you’re Kwon Eunbi – the fearless leader.

You see, Kwon Eunbi is a great leader. Even though her members all the time and dotes on her like she’s the one younger, she leads them in professionalism and always has her members’ best interests at her heart. Why, she even prepared gifts for them during the filming of the second season of their reality show even though the theme of the episode was not ideal for gift exchange! And don’t even forget going the extra miles for her ‘favorite baby’. 

Consequently, when Eunbi picked out Sakura’s name out of all the girls, she thought the fates were testing her that day. Sure they are close, but there was this tension between them thick enough to be cut with a knife. Eunbi tries hard to close whatever distance they have but well, sometimes a cherry blossom can be oblivious to the breeze of the winds and the droplets of rain. Although if you ask Sakura, she would argue that there’s no tension or whatever the fans call it nowadays since she’s just admiring Eunbi like the beautiful, smart older cousin she sees every family reunion.  Definitely no tension at all.

Coming back to the topic, Eunbi likes giving her best effort to people special to her. So, she coordinated with the staffs and crew members before they started filming that day if she could prepare something special for her members. Especially since one of the said members is going to celebrate her birthday soon. So what better way to celebrate such special day with a special theme a.k.a. a horror-themed episode?

“You’re going to record your voice and hide the phone in the lockers? Wouldn’t they recognize you?” The director asks, amazed at how the leader’s mind works but also anticipating the chaos that will unfold later during filming.

Eunbi taps her phone a few times. “I’ll be using a voice-changing app. Then you can call the phone once everyone is distracted to scare them.” She hands her phone to them along with the boxes and cake, the grin on her face full of mischief and anticipation. “Oh, Director-nim, can me and Sakura be paired together?”

So far, the plan has been unfolding smoothly and Eunbi can’t wait to see the priceless reaction of her secret friend once Sakura opens her gifts and finally have the happy memory of being a normal high school student. Eunbi just didn’t expect Sakura to hit the high notes she didn’t know the younger girl was capable of reaching as they look for their respective keys. All part of her mission, she supposes.

Eunbi also didn’t expect Sakura to cling onto her as they walk but she wasn’t complaining. “This is yabai. Why are we going (entering the room)? Why go?” The hard, almost painful, grip on her arm is something Eunbi can handle but she’s definitely having a hard time holding back her laughter with how cute their normally stoic and elegant Japanese member is acting right now.  

Let it be known that Kwon Eunbi is weak for the scaredy-cat Miyawaki Sakura.

Still, the fearless leader enters the auditorium, with the younger girl holding onto her arm, and walks up to the mannequin, ignoring the (cute) rambles of Sakura. They both let out a scream when the head suddenly turns- Sakura’s louder than hers as she runs for her dear life. 

“Wait, wait!” Ever the bravest out of the two, Eunbi reaches for the box only to find it empty and proceeds to slap the head of the mannequin back to its original position.  That’s for scaring Kkura.

They walk back to their classroom hand in hand, Eunbi proud of herself for protecting Sakura and the latter still reeling from everything.  Chaeyeon takes one look at her best friend, her leader, and their joined hands before smirking and then winking. But of course, both are oblivious to what it implies and instead went back to their respective seats. 

Chaeyeon only huffs when Sakura looked at her with raised eyebrows. “You’re such an idiot.”

Sakura naturally takes offense to that because SHE WAS SCARED S-WORD-LESS DURING THE ENTIRE CHAOS AND NOW CHAEYEON IS CALLING HER AN IDIOT? WHY THIS—

“We have arrived! Let’s open the lockers now!”  The YulYen duo announces and before long, all twelve of them are lined up along the lockers, taking out their own boxes with Sakura taking out three. Eunbi mimes innocence when most of the members speculated it was the doing of the cherry blossom’s secret friend. To avoid suspicions, Eunbi gifted herself her favorite macarons and the unboxing went on until the celebrant’s turn.

Opening the letter, Sakura can’t believe what she was seeing. “…this is so dirty.” 

“It was written with a left hand.” 

Bless Chaeyeon for her keen observation that stopped Eunbi’s dignity from dissolving. And so, Sakura reads the letter (with Chaeyeon’s help), touched and confused at the same time. She picks up another piece of paper.

“Lifelong secret friend, Kwon.”

OH SHI—

“Kwon? Kwon Eunbi?”

“Unnie it was you?”

“You said it wasn’t you!”

It was her but the girl in question only laughs, clearly flustered that her cover might have been blown. “Yah, why is “Kwon” already me?” Still denying the allegations, she didn’t notice Yujin looking at the offending paper and finally clearing all the suspicions. Eunbi definitely has to treat Chaeyeon and Yujin to ice cream someday. 

Who knew being Sakura’s secret friend was this hard?

Still, looking at Sakura’s twinkling eyes and bright smile as she listens to her members sing for her before blowing out the candles on the cake was certainly worth it. Eunbi most especially was happy to create this happy memory for her special friend.

(The most effective way for your crush to like you back is to take them to a horror house. So maybe Eunbi did succeed a bit on that part. After all, the hug they shared and the whispered “thank you” of Sakura followed by the softest smile she had ever seen on the younger girl directed towards her before they all went back to their respective dorms was worth the teasing and embarrassment she endured earlier.

“Kkura-ya, why are you so pretty, huh? Answer me, Kkura-ya.”

“Oh no, Eunbi-unnie is talking to her pig plush again.”)

[2] Ice Cream date

“Who wants to go get ice cream with me?”

“…”

“No one? Really?”

“I’ll come with you, unnie.”

Eunbi turns her head quickly at the answer, the shock palpable on her face as she wordlessly points at Sakura.  The rest of the members were at their rooms so Eunbi obviously did not expect the second oldest to be at their living room. 

“What? I want to eat one too.” Sakura pouts, slightly offended that the older girl seemed to be stunned from her sudden initiative. Contrary to popular belief, she does leave their dorm every now and then, thank you very much. 

“Wait, what are you doing in our dorm?” The younger girl looks slightly embarrassed at the question as she shifts her eyes to anywhere but Eunbi.

“Hyewon wanted to borrow my Switch so I went here and then I heard you’re going out for ice cream so…” She trails off, finally looking at Eunbi. 

Sakura wonders if Eunbi always had these big beautiful eyes that seemed to hold the stars. She wonders if their leader knows how the orange lip tint adds more to her natural beauty, and decidedly makes it her favorite color on Eunbi.  She wonders if the older girl is talking to her because is moving and oh god, Eunbi is talking to her while Sakura’s off staring at her lips.

“-kura. Sakura. Hey, do you still want to come?” 

Sakura snaps her attention back to the now concerned girl and she wants to do nothing but smooth those furrowed eyebrows. Alas, she is anything but brave. She settles for marveling how cute Eunbi is when she’s worried instead.

“Yes, sorry unnie. Let’s go?” Guilty of almost being caught, she lets her right hand settle over the older girl’s back as they exit the dorm. Sakura ignores the way her hand felt tingly just by touching the fabric of Eunbi’s cardigan.

“Enjoy your date, moms!” 

Sakura also ignores the loud teasing voice of An Yujin (who was watching the whole scene happen from her room) and the evil laughter of Choi Yena that follows.

Looking up to the display board of flavors, Sakura wished she brought her glasses today so she wouldn’t see slightly blurred combination of words and pictures of ice cream. “I think I’ll get my usual. What about you, unnie?”

“I’m going to try something new. Nako recommended this one.”

Already reaching for her purse, Sakura was stopped by a hand on her arm from Eunbi. The action makes her face feel warm but she wills herself to not react outwardly. This is not a date, after all.

Eunbi flaunts her credit card with a smirk. “I’ll pay. I’m the one who wanted to go in the first place so consider it as my treat to you for coming with me.” 

Sakura only nods, unable to trust herself to speak without embarrassing herself with how cool Eunbi looks right now. Plus, she wouldn’t say no to free ice cream. 

After paying for their ice creams, they find a fairly secluded spot to eat and talk without worrying over the fansite people. Sakura recognizes a few of them and offers a cute smile before finally giving all her attention to Eunbi. 

Eunbi stares at their fans and at Sakura, then down to her ice cream. “A date, huh?”

The plastic spoon hanging limply from her lips, Sakura gives the older girl a startled look. She remembers the shout of Yujin and it looks like Eunbi heard it as well. She clears to answer, whether to deny or affirm she wasn’t sure but before she can, Eunbi chuckles and scoops her ice cream to eat. Naturally, Sakura loses her train of thoughts as she watches the spoon disappear from the other girl’s lips.

“Well, if I would take you out on a date, I would take us to go watch movies.” Eunbi continues, blissfully unaware of her companion’s little distraction. Sakura, for her part, manages to catch the last three words, enough to guess the context of it. Stop staring at her lips you big ert.

“Oh, I remember I wanted to watch a horror movie with you.”

Eunbi smiles at that “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me.”

If Sakura wasn’t choking on her ice cream before, she definitely is now. She somehow always forgets how forward their leader really is with her affections.  It doesn’t help that the cause of her slight mishap is just laughing at her hitting her chest like she’s King Kong. Once the coughing ceases, Sakura pouts at Eunbi again with teary eyes.

“Unnie, you just laughed at me while I almost died.” She whines with clearly no effect since Eunbi only giggles and pats her head like a dog. Wow, what an improvement Sakura – from a gorilla to a dog.

“Sorry, Kkura-ya. You were so cute.” Eunbi reaches out to pat Sakura’s cheek but she pauses midway. “Oh you have a little something over here.”

Her hand continues its path but instead of Sakura’s cheek, the pad of her thumb lands near the corner of the other girl’s mouth and wipes the crumbs off. Sakura would probably have a higher chance of survivability after this action if Eunbi wasn’t looking at her eyes as she does it. 

She doesn’t deny it anymore. There is really a tension between them, and dare she say as cringe as it is, sparks when their eyes meet. All these new feelings after meeting Eunbi made Sakura confused and scared of everything. She was, is, and will always be an idol first and foremost – there was no romance destined for her. For seven years, she was focused on her career and HKT, yet after coming to Korea and experiencing the hurricane that is Kwon Eunbi, Sakura feels something latch onto her heart, unforgiving and unrelenting. It was uncomfortable, frightening, and exciting all at the same time. It was all new to her but she understands now the people who ask for love advices on her radio show.

But then again, even though Sakura is slowly realizing her growing feelings for the older girl, she knows she can’t do anything about it. She can’t risk both of their careers because of her selfishness. She can’t damage the reputation their group built just because she wanted to love and be loved romantically. Sakura knows how cruel their industry really is, the vultures of media will eat anything they find sufficient, and if by becoming a martyr and the “stubborn tsundere girl” she is known for can she protect Eunbi, then she will gladly bury these feelings for eternity.  

The safest and quickest way to bury it was to describe Eunbi as a cousin. You can’t have your cousin as your lover, right?

Frowning slightly, Eunbi drops her hand and plays with her spoon instead. Sakura immediately misses the contact but realizes her thoughts may have shown on her face and thinks it’s for the best. She ignores the painful pull on her chest at the sight of a crestfallen Eunbi. 

“Thank you, unnie.” Sakura clears , dabbing away the rest of the mess with a tissue.  A heavy silence surrounds them, completely different from the atmosphere before. A moment passes and before Sakura completely wallows in her regrets, Eunbi takes her hand across the table.

“Thank you for coming with me Kkura-ya.”

Trying to keep a lid on a boiling pot of water is useless. The water will eventually spill until nothing is left.

The faint smile on Eunbi does nothing to quell the regrets Sakura is swimming in right now but she knows what she did is right. She knows they will survive far longer in this world if it means they will sacrifice their feelings for each other. Sakura squeezes Eunbi’s hand softly.

“It was no problem, I enjoyed my time with you. And the ice cream. You and the ice cream.” Sakura blushes as Eunbi giggles again, the heavy atmosphere slowly changing back to the comfortable feeling previously. It’s for the best but Sakura doesn’t like it when Eunbi is sad because of her.

(Later that night, when they got back to their dorms, Sakura opens the messages of the one person she always looked up to in life. For the first time, she didn’t know what to do. She dedicated her life to her passion, to being an idol and making everyone happy. It was the path she chose but destiny has other plans. She presses dial.

“Saku-chan! How are you?”

“Hey, Sasshi.”)

[3] Shopping/Grocery date

It was an unspoken observation but all the members realized that Eunbi may be touch-starved. By no means is it a bad thing, they just understood that for every conversation you will have with her, their leader will always grab your hand or arm to ground the both of you. It’s actually a comfortable gesture for the most of them, and the soft pressure on their arms usually comforts them immediately when Eunbi points out a problem. Although Eunbi adjusts her words depending on the person she’s talking to, the constant almost familiar touches she gives to her members is like a safety blanket for the girls. Although they look like they don’t enjoy it, they always appreciate it.

While most of the girls do enjoy the affection, there are still some who puts boundaries, to which Eunbi respects of course. It’s just; she can’t help but give more affection to this one person because of her reactions. Who knew the girl who had kissed a lot of girls to the point she lost her feelings still freezes up when she gets hugged by Eunbi?

Eunbi knows she’s playing with fire by doing this. The expression on Sakura’s face when they went out for ice cream was still fresh in her mind. She knows she’s slowly crossing the invisible line they have. And if everything goes wrong, her world will fall apart. But, is it so wrong to feel the desperation of attaining what you can’t have? Is it so wrong to feel selfish for once?

The moment Sakura entered the