Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: The life that they resent, the wanting to runing away from their life that bind them down, there's no way to escape until they find each other.

Word Count: 8524

Hashtag: #KkubiFestival_WanderingSouls

Wandering Souls

"Are you sure you still want to go?"

"I have to, Unnie. There's nothing left for me in here. " Chaeyeon said as she put boxes containing her belongings into the car.

"Isn't this looks like you just running away?" You tightened your coat from the cold. Crawling back to your nice and warm apartment, curled up in a warm blanket sounds nice at a moment.

"If this means that I can move on, I don’t mind even if you called me like that, Unnie" Chaeyeon slammed her car closed. she had finished putting her stuff that she was going to take into her car. Although not all, the stuff that she couldn’t possibly bring would be packaged and shipped later.

Chaeyeon looked at you softly, rubbed your arm. “Unnie, you know right, that I really admire you. You're a wonderful woman. Still can stay and bear everything, even though so many painful things happened to you. But I can't be like you. I feel like it's time for me to start something new that I believe will make me feel better. "

"And I will support you no matter what, if this is what you want, if this change can make you happy." You replied. You  paused. Thinking how selfish you are. You only said that because you don't want to feel alone anymore. Deep in your heart you don't want Chaeyeon to leave. "I’m sorry about what i said earlier, I shouldn't have said that. I look like I try to sabotage you for myself preventing you to get what you want.  I shouldn’t do that. I should become supportive best friend for you."

You said it more like you address it to yourself. Chaeyeon is your best friend. She has done a lot for you and now it’s your turn. Eventhough it’s means you have to letting her go.

“Unnie, I also want you to start to think about your happiness. Don’t you always wanted to leave this place, maybe it’s the time?"

“It's not that easy, you know that right. Maybe it's too late for me. " You turned your face away from Chaeyeon, sighed trying to hold back, you don't want to cry right now. “I'm just sad, in the end you also left me. Adding the painful things that happened to me in here. "

Chaeyeon hugged you, “Listen, We can still communicate. Besides, my place is just 2 hours from here, we can still meet if you want, Unnie ."

"Promise. We have to keep in touch, call me, at least once a day, if we don't have time, text me. So do I. And if you find someone you like someday, make sure they really love you. Don’t become like me.” Says you while wiping the tears on your eyelids.

"Hahaha ... alright .. alright .. I'll do it." Chaeyeon chuckled while releasing your hugs.

"And don't forget me."

"I won’t." Chaeyeon held your hand. “You also have to promise me, this time make sure you find your happiness. You also deserve to be happy, Unnie "

You fell silent, didn’t answer her. You don't know if you'll ever get those. You know you’ve been waiting about it all this time. But the longer it takes, you feel like it’s just empty words. You’re this close to give up.

121212

You tighten your coat. Walking slowly. The sun had just set. The air is not that friendly. But it's better than staying in your apartment alone. No more Chaeyeon, your roommate, your best friend. There is no one else to accompany you. And it’s suffocating.

Chaeyeon was your junior in high school, you two became close when you were both in the student council and after graduation you keep in touch with her. She is your biggest supporter. Chaeyeon is more than a friend to you. And when Chaeyeon decided to move out from this city after finding what she was looking for, you tried to support her decision even though it meant you ended up alone again.

Remembering all of that makes you think about what you should do in the future. Chaeyeon has started a new life. You are thinking of doing the same. There was the path that you could choose back then. But you chose other, and then falling apart. And it made you trapped in a city where you can't breathe in freely. You helpless, hopeless, and trapped for good.

You sighed, shook your head, you shouldn't blame this city, but it feels like you're being cursed.

Not many people walk outside this night in this freezing cold. Your body ached after helping Chaeyeon packing. Get in the hot bathtub then crawling under the blanket and sleep through the night sounds tempting right now. But you need this, you were always doing this whenever you have a lot to think. You will walk so far that sometimes you don't know where you are. And when you feel enough you will stop by some cafe to order some drink or ice cream with your favorite flavor, sometimes you were spoiling yourself by ordering extra macarons or cakes, finished them, and then going home.

You keep walking, you still recognize this area. Walk a bit and you will meet the bridge. At night you can see the reflection of the bridge lights on water below. You're planning to spend time around there then go home.

You keep your hand in the pocket but your gaze fixed at one point, on a single figure. Your forehead creased. Realizing something, you speed up your steps, almost running, toward that figure.

"Hey, is there something that I can help?" You asked, yelled, but make sure to make your voice as calm as possible. You didn't want to startle her.

You stopped a few steps away from her, keeping your distance. The woman you yelled at looked confused, she looked around with a frown.

"You called me?"

"Yes, you, who else?"

"Do we know each other?"

“Look, I know life is tough but you don't have to take the shortcuts like this. If you don't mind, I'm willing to be your ears. We can go somewhere and order some drink or whatever that can makes you feel good. But please don't do this."

You walked slowly toward her, as slowly as possible, you didn't want to scare her.

"What?"

“I’m Eunbi, if you don't mind I’ll walk closer to you. I won't do anything to scare you. Hold my hand, please believe me."

“Wait,” You stopped. That woman pinched between her nose. “Do I look to you like someone who’s gonna jump from here?"

“Y-Yeah?”

She chuckled.

"You misunderstood. I was just gonna looking at the river down there. Weird, yes. But i don’t have some kind of mood to jump anytime soon."

You blinked, "Oh."

Silence coming next. You both just stared back at each other. The woman giving a sympathetic smile, as if you are some kind of crazy woman that jumped out of nowhere and playing hero.

"So you have no intention?"

“No.”

"Oh..Ok." You turned around as quickly as possible, trying to hide your embarrassment. You can feel the heat started to creep up to your face. The cold air couldn’t even to cover it.

"Hey, wait!"

You closed your eyes then sighed, turned around forcing a smile as if nothing happened, "Yes?"

"Thank you for worrying about me."

“No problem.”

You replied briefly, all you want right now is to get away from here. You're still embarrassed by what happened just now.

“By the way, I want to ask if your offer still stand?”

“Sorry?”

“You asked me, right? I could use that your coffee offer. I may need it."

You swallowed. Not asnwering, just stared at the woman.

“My treat. As an apology for the misunderstanding and maybe it can help to ease the embarrassment?"

The woman sounds like mocking at you, makes you want to push her down into the river there and you join her next, you can't accept another humiliation.

"Please, i need this. Maybe you're right, maybe i need help, and you coming in right time. You never know. "

She looked sad. Her big brown eyes all pleading, It feels familiar. As if you also can feel your own sadness. Or is it yours that you feel. The sadness that has been rooted in you for years. You can tell. And you know, you can’t leave that woman alone. You nodded at her invitation.

121212

"I'm Sakura by the way."

The waiter comes to bring your orders. You just nodded in response to Sakura, then took a sip of your matcha latte. This is awkward.

You observing the woman in front of you in quiet. She took a sip her order too. Hot chocolate with cinnamon, that's what she ordered. She's beautiful, maybe younger than you, her black hair in a bob framing her face, contrast with her pale skin. The twinge pinke appeared on her cheeks after she put down her cup. Somehow it feels pleased watching her.

“This is awkward.”

“You think?”

“So, thanks again for saving me.”

"You said you have no intention to jump."

“I was just curious.”

“With the bridge? Or the river? " you snorted. "You're right, you are weird."

Sakura chuckled. “Well, I guess I should agree with you.”

"Lucky, you didn't fall down to there, with weather like this and the water that you could feel through the bone, it will feel not nice.

“If you weren't there, I might have. Maybe you're right this is my lucky day." Sakura smiled at you. Sad, sincere smile.

“If you think so.”

You look around the cafe. There aren’t many people. Quite cozy and warm. It's your first time being here. You both chose to sit in some corner of the cafe, close to the window with big glass. You can see people passing by outside. The cafe isn’t that far from the bridge. And now you're trapped here. With strange beautiful woman in front of you.

"Do you live around here?" You started. You don’t want to waste your time to just being silence.

"Not around here. But pretty close."

"And you were there just wanting to see the lights?"

"Yeah, I'm just too busy. Never have time to take a walk around here. And somehow I'm growing sick with this place. So usually i avoid it." At first glance you could see her disgust. Even though she covered it by sipping her chocolate. But you can feel it. It's like what you said that she’s not much different than you. As if you are reading a book about you. So easy.

“I get it.”

“do you?”

“And sometimes like you can't breathe freely. You have no choice but keep breathing. The more and more you breathing in, it’s getting harder to breath. Eventhough there is another option to you to escape, but it's sounds not enough."

"All you need is something that can trigger it." Sakura humming that sounds like agreement.

"So you hate your life?" Curiosity outnumbered you. Wondering since Sakura and you had the same vibe maybe you both experienced the same feeling.

“I do.”

"And you just accept it, and move forward?"

Sakura didn't answer right away, her gaze seemed empty even though she was facing you. “My time has stopped, now I feel like I’m walking in limbo."

“you can get out.”

“How?”

You were going to answer but you realized you have no answer. You also trapped in there.

"This is not easy right?" Sakura continued, "I just wish that I could just disappear."

The way Sakura saying the words so easily makes you believe that what you did yell at her at the bridge earlier was the right thing.

And then there’s silence. You don't realize how many minutes have passed since you two were here. Your drink is almost half empty.

"Sorry, if I say something weird."

You stared at her. There’s a feeling of sympathy, all you want right now is helping her. You are looking outside.  "Have you been to that tower?"

Sakura turned to the direction that you pointed out, “Yeah, once. Why?"

"I haven’t. Wonder what kind of scenery that you can see up there."

“Really?”

You nod. Still looking at the tall tower that you can see from inside here. One of the city's icons.

"I thought you were born and lived here."

"I am." Says you light. "I just haven’t been in many places when I was young. And too embarassing to go there alone."

“No way.”

"I'm just too preocupied with my job maybe and without realize I'm getting old." 

“And what is your job?”

“Now you want to know.”

Sakura snorted, amused, you know you're being ridiculous, but somehow it’s fun and you just want to .

"I do want to know. I will be happy if you telling me."

"Alright, I'm a doctor, my job doesn't allow me to have time to having fun." You shrugged.

Sakura looked surprised, sincerly amazed, "Wow, so you really are a hero then."

You snorted, "I'm not."

"I'm serious, you have a job with the ability to save lives and I’ve told you that you might’ve just save my life. To me you are a hero." Sakura complimented you with an earnest, makes you feel a little embarrassed, you tried to hide the blushing by drinking your latte.

“It’s just a job.”

“Right, the great one.”

"Thank you." You answered quietly. You don't know how to answer. No one has ever compliment you this hard. Sure, doctors are a great job but no one ever made it sounds like it’s a big deal for you, even your mother.

"And in return as your great dedication, do you want to see it?"

“Like right now? To go there? It's almost close time, usually they don't open for visitors at night. Are you sure we can? "

"Yeah why not, if you want." Sakura answered with shrug as if it was such an easy thing. "I'm sure there is a way."

You looked at the woman’s eyes, her brown eyes shining at you, hypnotized you to agree with her idea. You have a feeling that you not gonna like about what Sakura’s planning right now.

121212

You know right away that following her plan is a bad idea. You just met this strange woman and the first thing you will face is a trouble. You curse your stupidity, why you want to follow her plan. You blame those big beautiful eyes.

"Go to take a look you say?”

You arrived in front of some tall building, 5 floors. Located right on the side, acrossed the river ahead. The lights were lit dimly surrounded the building. Looks like abandoned.

"Yep, and this is the best place you can find without being disturbed by unwanted people." Sakura replied, sounds proud.

Sakura grabs your wrist, leading you towards the side of the building. There is an emergency staircase. "Come one."

You startled when her cold hands touched your skin. But you just obeyed and followed her. The grip around your wrist is quite firm, as if to keep you safe. The hands are cold but you don't mind.

You arrived at the roof top, panting. Climbing the 5-floor building manually is not easy. Quite dark, the only lighting that available are from lamps in the each corners of the building. You can see that much, but based on the silhouette there’re so many stuff scattered around neglected. You had to walk carefully.

Sakura dragged you towards the edge of the building, that facing the river ahead, bordered by rusty, torned iron mesh. Even though you are on the top floor but the atmosphere around the building is quite quiet. You can even hear music coming from far away. Give you goosebumps a little.

"How did you find this place?"

"Just a coincidence. I didn't know before. This is just my second time."

“Are you sure this is okay? This place is creepy and and feel like being haunted.”

Sakura chuckled. "Maybe. Hopefully we don't get caught."

"What? So we trespassed into someone else's property!? ”

"Shhh ...!" Sakura hissed to warn you. "Don't be loud, the guards can hear us."

"Are you kidding me?" your hiss. "You really want me to get in trouble don't you?"

"Where is the fun, then?" Sakura just shrugged lightly. You can feel that she was smiling mischievously, like this is something normal for her. "Look ahead, i told you this is worth."

Still annoyed you snorted and turned around towards the direction that Sakura was aiming at. And you are stunned. You're amazed at what you see from up here. Gives a pretty clear view. The flickering lights of the bridge and surroundings were reflected on the water's surface, looked like sparkling gems. The river waves adding the effect as if it were a living thing. No moon made it look more clearer. The night wind caresses your hair softly. You don’t care about the cold that still sting into your skin. You don’t mind at all. You agree with Sakura. It's all worth of the pain.

You turned to see Sakura's face. The woman looked straight ahead, a smile on her face. But not with her eyes. That kind of sadness again. Just like the first time you met her.

"Never knew that this city had a view like this."

You got Sakura's attention. She looked at you, eyebrows raised. You were keeping your posture looking to distance ahead. Your buried your hands in pocket, gripped. Trying to hold your feelings.

"I think I'm just too focused on something until I forget that there is something beautiful in front of my eyes." You never realize what you've been missing all this time when you dwelling with your past.

“If only I had a little courage like you. I won't feel trapped like this."

“And what you've done, then?”

You laughed dryly, "Made another new mistake."

This is something you always avoid. Talking about feelings and stupid enough to talk about it with a stranger. Only Chaeyeon that you can trust enough to hear all the stories about the wrong path that you always choose. But not this time. Talking with Sakura is as easy as talking to an old friend. And you know why.

"I thought what I did was the right thing, and one day it would pay off. But turned out, I just let it control me, consuming me. When I realized, I keep repeating the same mistake."

Sakura listening to you, her gaze on you paying attention, you continue.

You told Sakura about the hard time after your father leaving you and your mother, suddenly everything change. Your mother becoming hard since then. And you became her only expectation. Classic story indeed. You killed yourself to became her perfect daughter. Your mother said it's because you're special and you shouldn't waste that blessing. So you pushed yourself to keep it that way.

You didn’t have many friends, your study holding you back to make one, only Chaeyeon that you can call as a friend. Until you meet her. You met her during your visiting to hand over your assignments in the art classroom. And it didn’t end there. She made you fall in love with paintings, with sculptures, with theater performances, with arts during your next visits.

And it also made you fall in love with her. Her dream to able to study art abroad and visit all the art galleries and theaters in the world had become your dream too. You felt like you found your new purpose. And you felt extremely happy.

"Did you make it?" Sakura asked, her eyes never leaving you, listening. It's so please to see Sakura's expression change following what you said. As if she also can feel your emotion. And for you it’s seem like finally someone listening to you after a long time.

“We talked about we should pursue what makes us happy and put it in our hands our own destiny. Then I secretly applied for an art school scholarship following her. My mother wouldn’t like it, if she finds out.