YUBIN.

Her name is Yubin, first daughter of the Mrs. Bae. She likes puppies, and cats, and every other domestic animals. She was her bestfriend's role model. She was a loner, her only bestfriend was Yewon or as they call now, Arin; who was actually her sister too. She and her sister both preferred staying at their house, hanging out with each other instead of socializing with the other kids. It only changed when Yubin went to college and she met a few good friends... although her first impression of Seunghee and Jiho wasn't really nice. Anyway, first impression is just a pre-hand experience of what she's about to encounter. It could be because it's her first time meeting such friends that she got attached to them so much. 

She's a top-tier in her class, aced the most difficult exams of the strict bossy professor in their department. According to Seunghee, Yubin is the most studious person she's ever met, the second one was Yooa. Yubin is smart, she loves her books, her hobby is to learn something each day. 

Whenever Mimi isn't around, Yubin is Jiho's victim of teasing. She's her target when they're alone with Seunghee. Jiho is always too much, picking on her friends a lot, pranking them every single day and they never got used to it.The girl is pretty smart when it comes to that.

Yubin enjoys it though. Even when Jiho teases her a lot, deep inside her was this fluttery feeling she gets everytime Jiho is around. The tall girl is very unpredictable, intimidating but sometimes so dorky. Yubin knew that Jiho was the one who threw the crumpled paper on her head on their first day. She knew that Jiho was the one who ate her snacks on time when she went out to buy a bottled water. She knew that Jiho wasn't the typical type of friend. She knew that everything Jiho did still let her to develop feelings towards the other girl. 

"Hey," Jiho tapped on the page of the book Yubin was reading, which caused her to lose her focus from the paragraph. She sighed and raised her head to look at the girl across her. There she is with that meaningful grin, those eyes that Yubin never get tired of, and her cool eyebrows that makes her look serious but they both know why she's here. 

"Seunghee and I are planning to go play karaoke on the next street." Yes, the only time that Jiho comes to the library is when she wants to invite me to hang out with her and the others. 

"No, I'm studying." No, I want to come but I have to study. Of course she wants to join them. 

Jiho stares at her for a while, and Yubin fought back in that staring contest. Only when Jiho smiled that Yubin can't help but look away because the hell she felt her cheeks heating up. Don't blush, Yubin. Don't. 

"Let's go." Jiho whispered and takes Yubin's book and bag. The tall girl stood up and gave Yubin a look. That's it, the only time Yubin chose someone over her books is when Jiho was that someone. Yubin followed behind the girl who's busy placing the books inside Yubin's backpack. 

It just happened that Seunghee and Jiho shared the same schedule with Yubin every Wednesdays and Fridays. It also just happened that Yubin isn't socializing with her classmates that she ends up preferring her new friendgroup that Seunghee and Jiho gathered. The two were both funny, they make a great combination. Jiho is just worse because she goes too much with everything. Their other friends are really nice too, they're from different departments, even different years, but still they find a way to hang out with each other and continue being friends, which is why Yubin was so fascinated about them.

"Careful." Jiho held Yubin's waist when Yubin lost balance trying to catch the chocolate bar from Seunghee -- meters away from her, as they walked out of the library. Seunghee was waiting on the doorway while Jiho was busy convincing Yubin earlier. Playful Seunghee just threw the chocolate bar towards her. Yubin's eyes were stuck on Jiho's but the other girl seem to not care nor make a big deal out of that, she cleared and pulled away from Jiho. 

Yubin thought of it already; confessing to Jiho. Some of her friends share the same kind of feelings too, like Mimi and Yooa. The only difference from Yubin's case is that her feelings are one-sided. Jiho already told them once that she's not really into dating yet, she said she's not ready. The girl opened up to them. Jiho had a lonely past, she only lives with her grandparents after her parents got into an accident. That's why somehow, Yubin doesn't want to let her feelings out, because she knows that Jiho isn't ready and her friendship with Jiho -- their bond might just disappear, things might change.. and I don't want us to change.

"It's already 7. Gotta go! See you two tomorrow!!" Oh there she is again. Jiho would go home, for unknown reasons, might be because she wants to sleep or whatever but yeah, she just always invites them to hang out and then she'll just suddenly leave. Jiho told them that sudden goodbyes are unique so she kept doing it because she wants to be unique. And she is. 

"Well, we're alone together again." Seunghee says, busy looking for songs on the songbook she's holding on her lap. Yubin sighs as she sat next to Seunghee. She looked down on the microphone she's holding. 

And yes, everytime Jiho leaves, Yubin is left alone with Seunghee. Seunghee.. she's like the center of the friend web. She's really close to everyone, makes Yubin comfortable around her the most. Yubin is also close to the others but since Hyojung and JinE hangs out together more often, same with Mimi and Yooa, the trio -- Yubin, Seunghee and Jiho will always be the ones together. 

"You know what, let's just buy chicken and eat then, um.. I'll study with you after, if you want" And that's Hyun Seunghee, far different from Jiho who just comes and go and ask Yubin to play and leaves, Seunghee was different, she takes care of Yubin whenever they're alone. Seunghee was always nice to Yubin. She knew the girl before, she's famous in the local city because she attends and performs on big events and festivals. Lucky her, Yubin sometimes wonder why Seunghee never mentioned it to their friends, and she never opened that topic to Seunghee to because it's obvious that the girl isn't and has no plans talking about it. 

Yubin looked at the door after Jiho left. This is the first time she liked someone, she was never interested until Jiho came giving her the attention she liked very much. She never had the chance to confess, she didn't try. She had many reasons not to try. Jiho wasn't ready. Yubin can't manage her priorities. Jiho has commitment problems. Yubin knows her feelings are one-sided, just like every other person falling for their friend. And lastly, 

"Yes mom, they really liked your dish so please stop asking me that again and again." Yubin laughs when her mom pouted like a teenager, Arin laughed along. This is like their family bond; every dinner they talk about their day. Yubin takes a sip from the orange juice across her. 

"How about Jiho unnie..?" Arin asked, Yubin smiled and looked at her curious sister. "Yes, she liked it too, she even ate the most of mom's dishes." She answered, finishing up the glass of orange juice. That was sweet, Arin is always a sweet person too.. but Yubin felt a sour feeling on her chest.

Arin likes Jiho. Yubin could tell, her sister was easy to read. She doesn't know when or where Arin saw Jiho because she still hasn't personally introduce her friends to her family but Arin has always been interested about Jiho. Yubin was smart, she knows this won't be good for her and her sister if they continue liking the same person but she can't just tell Arin that "Hey I like Jiho so stop liking her." She isn't like that and Arin is a very nice girl, And.. Yubin thinks that Jiho and Arin would be a good couple. 

It wasn't easy at all, Jiho is the girl she liked for almost six months now. It's not easy as saying 'I don't like her anymore'. She has to move on from these feelings. But how? She's not a love expert, she doesn't have any experience. Should she call a friend? Which? 

"Yubin.. are you okay?" Hyejin asks as she sat next to Yubin on the cafeteria where Yubin asked her to meet. After days of observing her friends for days, Yubin saw how Hyejin could be a good adviser. So far, she's the one with experience as Yubin could remember, she had an ex-boyfriend. 

"Yes unnie, I'm okay. Just.. some annoying problem." Yubin once again scanned the whole cafeteria, scared that any of their other friends, especially Jiho would hear what she's about to say.

"What is it?" Hyejin calmly asks, this is the first time Yubin is opening up like this so she knows that Hyejin is being careful, which she's thankful of. 

"Jiho." Yubin muttered, she felt something in her stomach as she spoke Jiho's name. Feelings. 

"Oh." Hyejin looked like she wasn't expecting this, Yubin can't blame her though. Even she knew this is unexpected. "I always thought she's wildly funny and annoying but I had no idea she'd go this far-" 

"No, no I mean.. not like that. I- uhm.." Yubin had cut her off, doesn't want her unnie to misunderstood this. Jiho might be annoying but she isn't the problem here, Yubin's heart is. 

"You like her?" Oh. Was it obvious? Yubin looked down on the table, not sure if the white color of the table is really interesting or that she wants to avoid Hyejin's eyes, or if ever she wants to continue talking. Was I too obvious?

"It's just a guess but maybe I'm correct." Yubin sighed and nodded. Hyejin told her that it's not really obvious, 'You're good at acting' she said. She told her situation to Hyejin, without missing any detail. She just really want to focus on studying again but she can't because of these feelings.

"You're right though. Jiho already told us that she's not into dating.. So, I say, you just move on from her and don't get affected by your sister liking her too. Even if we have a clue that Arin likes Jiho, we can't do anything about Jiho's dating issues and you can't use them to move on, that's not good for you." 

Yubin understands what Hyejin was implying. She had a plan to introduce Jiho to Arin because she thought that maybe, if she sees Jiho flirting with Arin, she'll have to motivation to move on but Hyejin was right, it won't be good for her. 

It really isn't. The day came when Jiho finally met Arin when they all went to a trip. Yubin and her parents were always worried about Arin ending up like her, a loner. They thought that it would be a good idea if Arin would come with them and now her sister is a part of their group. Yubin is genuinely happy for her sister, and happier that their group feels more complete now.

The only thing that she feels weird about is the fact that Jiho is showing interest towards Arin that she didn't expect at all. I thought she's not interested in dating. But there Jiho is, always all-over Arin. Yubin always knew that Arin was adorable, she just feels.. insecure somehow that Jiho clearly likes her sister. That her once plan is now happening in front of her and she's hurt and jealous otherwise. 

This isn't healthy for Yubin. She's totally smart but why does she feel like fooling herself now? She loves her sister and she shouldn't feel this way. That's it. So, slowly, Yubin started distancing herself from Jiho. That's the only thing she could do. Move on first, or else she'll feel the worse. That's right, she started hanging out with JinE and Yooa, but mostly with Yooa since JinE, alongside with Hyojung, is a lot busier than them. Again, Yubin is smart. She knows things, she knows her place. She knows that it isn't anyone's fault that she liked Jiho. She's smart, and she has accepted that her feelings with Jiho is something she shouldn't pursue. 

"What is this?" Jiho asks when Yubin gave her an ice pack. Yubin sat next to Jiho, Seunghee's seat is vacant. I wonder where she is. Seunghee used to go to the class with Jiho but seems like Jiho was busy with Arin earlier so it's useless to ask her about Seunghee. 

"For your ugly cheek, Arin told me to give it to you." She responds, she takes her notebook  and started re-writing notes from the past lesson, just like she always does. From her gaze, she could see Jiho smiling. "You like her." Yubin muttered while taking down notes, well it's her job to be a sister to Arin so it's okay to do this, right? 

Jiho didn't answer, as if she was really focusing on her swollen cheek which Yubin isn't also sure how Jiho got that but she's stupid so she doesn't mind and she should not mind so much when it comes to Jiho. 

"I know you do, you can't hide it from me" Yubin added, Jiho sighed deeply while gently patting her cheek using the ice pack. It's okay, Jiho. Just..

"Will you be okay though? I'm sure Arin is a good person but have you moved on from what happened before? Will you be okay?" This time, Yubin stopped writing and stared back at Jiho. She knows all the Jiho-issues and she's just making sure that Arin wouldn't get hurt in this. It's the first time Yubin saw Arin liking someone and of all people, it had to be Jiho. 

"I'm okay. But you don't have to worry about me and your sister, we're just friends, I'm just a friend to her." Yeah.. ugh she's so dramatic. Yubin knew that the two are sharing mutual feelings, they're just trying to be angsty towards each other and it's annoying to see them this way.

"I just don't want the two of you to end up hurting each other." Yubin says as she goes back to her notes meanwhile Jiho gazed off into the distance. Full of thoughts, huh? Seunghee just came right after, though she's late. The girl smiled at Yubin.

"You okay?" Yubin heard Seunghee asking, must be asking Jiho.

"Yeah, just a swollen cheek." Jiho answers quietly. After seconds, Yubin saw a hand passing a bar of chocolate on her desk. It was Seunghee. 

"I'm asking if you're okay." Huh? Why won't I be okay? Apparently, Yubin is not okay. In her mind, she's swimming into thoughts about Jiho and how she really likes Jiho but here she is, supporting Jiho and her sister. How fantastic.

"I'm okay though, Jiho's a lot worse." She answers, Seunghee just smiled at her and mouthed 'That's for you, eat it.' 

"Hey, why does she get a chocolate and I don't?" The three chuckled. At least, she's still my friend. That's one good thing about this. 

 

Months passed and Yubin could tell that Jiho and Arin really got closer, they're like bestfriends or girlfriends, name it. They're just always together every break, Jiho hangs out lesser with Yubin now... or that Yubin is avoiding Jiho so basically, they don't really hang out now. Seunghee comes by to the library to check her sometimes. Yes, the library again. Where else would Yubin go that Jiho won't ever want to go? Unless Jiho really wants to hang out with Yubin but Jiho never asked her again like she did before. Jiho was in love with Arin and it shows. And Yubin is okay with that, as long as Arin is happy, and that Jiho would be able to let herself be happy. 

"Oh! I forgot! Jiho said she should get credit for choosing the color of my gift. Hehe please let her slide today." Arin told her after giving the pair of pyjamas on her birthday. Jiho couldn't come for they don't know what reason it is.

Can I really move on? It's like everytime she sees Jiho, her heart beats fast and even when she tried her best, it still happens. Her mind is open about the Jiho-Arin thing but still, her heart speaks otherwise. She feels defeated, a martyr. An idiot. Wow Yubin, you're an idiot. Sometimes, she thinks of ways to move on from Jiho because apparently, Hyejin's advices aren't working. How about dating someone else? No. Definitely no. Yubin would rather imprison herself in the library of in her house. She can't imagine herself liking someone else.

"What are you talking about? I'm busy, Seunghee." Yubin lifted up the pile of books to her chest and walked away from the library counter, she could feel Seunghee following her. What is she talking about? Seunghee just asked Yubin to date her. Why so sudden? Yubin doesn't know why but she felt something different when Seunghee came earlier asking her to be her girlfriend.

"Why not? Atleast you got a girlfriend!" The two sat back on the table where they left their stuff earlier. Yubin shushed her. "We're in the library, lower your voice!" I swear to god, Yubin understands that Seunghee is always left alone with couples because their other friends are all dating and Yubin is dating her books but this is so sudden.

"You're the one yelling at me hmph." Seunghee crosses her arms and leaned her chin on them as she rests on the table. Yubin clicks her tongue and looked at the girl across her. What should I say? 

"Listen, I don't need a girlfriend. If you want one, then find someone else. I'm good, okay? And not because our friends are dating means we have to date too." Yubin takes a textbook from the pile and started reading it. Don't look at her. She tells herself because for sure, Seunghee would be pouting.

"So.. you don't wanna date me?" Seunghee asks once again, just teasing now. She's successful on getting the other girl's attention again though.

"Yes, you're my friend so just take this and read." Yubin took Seunghee's right hand and placed a book on her palm. "Study first, Hyun Seunghee." Yubin added before focusing back on her GE assignment. After a few seconds, Yubin felt Seunghee tapping on her arm again. 

"Seunghee, I said-"

"I don't need to study puppies..." Seunghee cut her off and quietly pushed the book back to Yubin's spot. Yubin just sighed and went back to her work, she heard small noises of page-turning from Seunghee. Must be studying her homework or something.

Maybe it's because they're always left alone together that they both know each other a lot now, not that they wanted it but it just happened and they haven't noticed it. Yubin admits that she got used to Seunghee always being next to her when she's alone that she realizes that they weren't even in the same department. Um..  They're friends. Correct. There's nothing wrong about that. Yubin sighed and glanced at Seunghee who was busy writing on her journal that she always carry around. Was I too focused on Jiho that I didn't notice that she's always here? No. Don't ever think about it, Yubin. Why would you date her if you don't like her? Study first, as she said. Study first, Yubin. Look at what happened to you because of your feelings for Jiho. Study first. 

"Yubin, sweety, why don't you invite Jiho later? I will cook for you three" Her mom told her. Arin had been talking a lot about Jiho so their mom was really happy. Of course they also talk about their other friends but it's mostly Jiho. Seems like their mom also likes Jiho. Not that hard to like her though. 

"Aww, did you miss me? We hang out lesser these days. And yeah okay I'll sleep over if you want." Jiho says on the other line. Yes, Yubin had to call the other girl because she couldn't find the courage to ask Jiho, how could she when she evidently avoided the girl for weeks. Yubin just laughed and hung up the call. 

"Don't you want to invite me? I wanna eat too, you know." Seunghee speaks after Yubin came back to her seat.  Yubin shook her head, "Nope, but you can come over next time. I want to introduce you to my mom too." She says, picking up her pens and notebooks. It's almost 8 PM and she has to go home so she could help her mom.

"As your girlfriend?" Seunghee asks with a wink, which made Yubin laugh. It wasn't long when Seunghee started being like this and Yubin appreciates how Seunghee always try to make her laugh.

"Oh stop right there or I'm never gonna let you meet her." Yubin jokes, Seunghee just chuckled and takes her bag. The two of them walking out of the library. 

"You know that you can always call me, right? I'll be here." Seunghee gave her a smile. That was meaningful. Yubin can't point out how sometimes, Seunghee's words trigger her. It's like Seunghee knows something. Does she know that I like Jiho? Impossible, she could've just told Yubin, right? 

Yubin just nodded, at least she knows that Seunghee got her back. "I'm going now, take care Seunghee"

Was Seunghee a shaman? OR what? Yubin really needed Seunghee that night, she needs a friend and she knew Seunghee would be there for her. Yubin was really good at acting. When she got home, Jiho was already in her room with Arin. She excused herself  so she could help her mom with cooking. She should have spared a few more minutes before going back to the room to call Arin and Jiho for dinner. Or at least five minutes because when she peeked through the door, she saw them.. kissing. 

Sseung : So you just really can't sleep? 

Bean-nie : Yea, can't sleep.

Sseung : Should I call you? I can call right now.

Bean-nie : Arin's sleeping, it's okay.

Sseung : Whatever it is that happened, don't get too affected by it.

I'm not that affected. No. That's just a sweet lie she's been telling herself because she just wants this to be over. After what she saw, she realized that she's still hurt. They got closer, they developed feelings towards each other. Now what is it for me?

Sseung : You're smart, you'll figure out how to fix this. 

But it seems like she doesn't need to think a lot to fix this. Jiho disappeared after that day. She left Yubin a message; and the others too. Yubin found out that she didn't send any goodbye message for Arin which was what made Yubin upset. Arin cried to her, a lot when she found out about Jiho leaving. She knew Jiho had reasons. She's unpredictable but she isn't an who'd do this just for fun, she has reasons. At least that's what Yubin believes. 

Hey Bae Yubin, I'm at the airport right now so you won't be able to smack me or curse at me. :p Just want to say thank you for keeping up with my pranks. I really love you all but I gotta go now. Surprise goodbyes haha you know? Well we both know I wanna be unique so uh, take care of yourself aight. 

That was all, no explanations why she left. Yubin sighed. Seunghee said that she would always find a way to figure out how to fix things but how is she supposed to help her sister with this Jiho thing? How is she supposed to ask Jiho about this? Should she just call her up and say Jiho, you're a jerk if you keep making my sister cry. 

She called Jiho after days, Arin was never in a good mood and she feels guilty for what unknown reason. 

"I.. just have to do this. Please trust me, I didn't mean to hurt her, I wouldn't hurt her, I just have to finish my studies and come back there. I know she could be mad at me, but I have no choice. I'm sorry" 

Jiho said that. And after that talk, Yubin figured it out. She wants Jiho to come back soon, she wants to see her sister happy again. Am I really going to trust Jiho? Yes. Among everyone else, Yubin knows that Jiho would be the one who could take care of Arin well. So she trusted her, and now she will really try her best to move on.