Donghae's POV

It's been a while since Taemin and Hyukjae left the room. I couldnt help but stress about the scene i just witnessed. Yeah i've seen Hyukjae cry like a bunch of times. He has a soft heart. But i've never seen him cry like THAT. It looked like he was truly terrified of something. He could've just told me. I could've helped. What? did he think that i was too busy or that i wouldnt be able to understand? I know it wasnt Hyukjae's fault. whatever's bugging him must've been something so serious that he couldnt even share it with Leeteuk hyung. But on the other side, im also a bit aggravated, i mean friends rely on each other right?

"What do you think is wrong with Hyukjae?" 

i looked over to see the members gathering in a circle. They looked as stress as me. I mean Hyukjae's always been our light source, he's there to make us laugh and brighten the mood. Whenever there were tough times where even Leeteuk Hyung was stressed, he'd always be there making us believe in ourself again. Heck he even cheered up Heechul Hyung who was kicking himself because of his accident and was thinking about leaving the group. He's a miracle, our miracle. Seeing him like that was a shock to all of us. I always thought that he had a good life since he always smiled. Its like a wonderland full of giggles and playfulness when im with him. To think that he's been holding back that much pain.. oh god, Hyukjae im sorry i didnt notice.

"I've never seen those scars before, a few of them are still fresh??" 

He's right.. even i havent seen them before today. Its my first time seeing him in the condition he was in this morning. Its scary, he was screaming in his sleep. I've heard of crying but not screaming. It was a terrifying sight and anyone could hear the pain between his screeches.

"Donghae said that he tried to stab someone who's not there right?"

"did he say anything while doing that? a name maybe? a gender?"

"he said she.. so a girl probally" 

shivers ran down my spine as i thought about what "she" could be.

"An Ex?" 

no. Hyukjae wouldnt react like that over an ex. Would he? i started questioning everything i believed i knew about Hyukjae. Could all of it possibly been a lie? yet the thought of him having those reactions towards an ex boils my blood. I cant desipher whether i want to feel angry because his exes probally hurted him so bad to make him do those things just by thinking of them, or whether i want to feel.. jealous..

"Hae, Youre awfully quiet, whats up? when we talk about Hyukjae youre usually the most talkative one" 

I got startled by Leeteuk Hyung's voice in the middle of my thoughts.

"He's probally still in shock to know his bestfriend's been keeping a secret that big from him" he said, i glared at him and he only responded by sticking out his tongue. That little brat, someone oughta teach him some manners towards his hyungs, i swear.

"Shh, guys shut up and come here, i think theyre talking"

I looked at Heechul Hyung to find him sticking his ears againts the walls, if not for my foul mood, i would've laughed my off seeing how ridicilous he looks. We all came towards him with confused stares which he eventually caught on. He explained how in movies they would listen to conversations by sticking to walls like those, and everyone ended up trying. But Siwon, being the man of justice that he is didnt really aggree.

"Hyung, they're having a pivate talk, snooping is bad" he said, pulling the older man back by pulling on his crook.

"Well when do you think Hyukjae's gonna tell us what's wrong? if we wanna help we gotta take measures into our own hands"

"But its wrong!"

"HUSH! Do you wanna help Hyukjae or not?"

he sighed for a moment, probally thinking od Hyukjae's well being.

"But-.. oh whatever.."

the next thing we knew, we were all sticking our heads like the nosy brats that we are. But even after a few hours of basically molding the walls with our ears all we could hear was muffled up conversation and Hyukjae's sobs, we gave up with red ears that are practically swollen.

"Haish why cant i hear anything?"

"Lets try this!

Heechul Hyung grabbed a glass cup from the table and stuck it on the walls with his ears following. His brows scrunched hearing the conversation. It took a while before he removed his ears from the cup.

"Aish, they must be in the far end of the room its so hard to hear, not to mention sad Hyukjae has a REALLY tiny voice" he sighed in annoyance.

"Did you manage to get something though?"

"Yeah, he said something about someone looking at him creepily while he was practicing? and i heard the word """

?! how come he's never told me this?!   i was furious. At him for not telling me, and at the one who did that to him. Unconciously, i locked my eyes on Heechul hyung, focusing clearly on what he was gonna say next.

"I also heard taemin mentioned Lee Sooman's name"

The information he gave wasn't all that clear, and we spent half an hour trying to connect the puzzles with a few pieces missing. Suddenly Kyuhyun jolted which made the entire room startled.

", could it be possible that..  seonsaengnim is Hyukjae's stalker?"

If i was my normal self, i would've knock the sense out of him for talking crap about the seonsaengnim like that. But as my head was filled with worries and frustration, all seemed possible in my eyes. And boy oh boy if Leeteuk hyung hadnt sensed my respond and held me back, i would've stormed in his office and make him see hell's fire.

"Oh god if thats true then he must've ra-.."

"Wait, lets not jump into any conclusions, he screamed "she" when i was with him, so it must've been a girl?" i said, cutting off ryeowook with the little bits of sanity and composure i had left.

Silence filled the room yet again as we tried to connect the two dots together.

"A girl huh? could it be seonsaengnim's wive?" 

we all turned our heads towards Shindong hyung.

"What are you implying?"

"This is just my theory, but could it be possible that seonsaengnim likes Hyukjae? and has been stalking him, to the point where he got obsessed and.."

"I see where youre going, youre saying, and when his wive knew he probally confronted Hyukjae thinking he's been ting up her man and it probally turned into a fist fight" he said as if he read Shindong hyung's mind

"But he wouldnt react like that if thats the case, i mean they could've talked about it which is probally what Hyukjae would do"

"What if he also likes seonsaengnim back? and his wives terrored Hyukjae by hiring men to him?"

"! that could be possible.. I mean Hyukjae's really close with the Chairman..."

we looked at one another and grabbed cups as we rushed to the wall. The only one left was Siwon who looked at us with worried eyes as he sighed.

"but after we debuted, i knew i gotta stop. I didnt want ELF's to worry.. so now.. all i do for coping is music, writting all those songs.."

"Songs?.. OUR songs?"

I grabbed my phone and opened the playlist Hyukjae created for himself for whenever he borrowed my phone. At the top was a song, our song. Missin U.

I played it and everyone gathered as we listened to the lyrics.

(missin u english translated lyrics)

i am missing you

Even if the sharp edge of the star scratches me

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