When everyone expected him to hide in his room and never leave it again, at least for a week, Jae has surprised them all by spending most of his days outside. No one knows where he goes, or who he meets. They just know that he has asked Wonpil to teach him how to ride his scooter, and to let him borrow it during the day. 

 

So, everyday, they watch as Jae leaves in the very early morning, and comes in the late afternoon, dead tired and hungry. Hyeji has suspected that he’s been meeting Brian, so she clearly warned him from meeting him, until he’s more mentally and emotionally stable, at least. For once, he followed her orders. Not that he’s ready to face the human, anyways. 

However, Hyeji’s suspicions were not completely out of place. Brian is the reason behind Jae’s bizarre behavior. His text messages, to be more exact. 

 

The first night, it was an apology -’I’m sorry’-, the second an ’I love you’, and the third an ‘I miss you’. And the cycle repeats. Sometimes, Jae would get two at the same night, with a few hours in between. 

 

Jae did not want to think about what the human was doing at the dead hours of the night, but his worry would get the best of him every time, and he’d end up texting Sungjin. Even if Brian was not at the bar, the latter would still check on him in Jae’s stead, and reassure him.  

 

Those text messages became his lullaby. The cupid cannot fall asleep anymore before receiving them. But they are also like a test for his resolution and self-restraint, every single one causing a war inside of him. 

A war between his heart that wants nothing more than to run to Brian’s arms and stay there forever, and his brain that bounds him to the bed, to his reality. At the end, his heart caves in, with the promise of winning one day. Jae knows that it will, but currently, his focus is set on one goal. 

 

His talk with Dowoon was an eye-opener for him, made him realize something very important. 

Since the moment he’s known about Brian’s feelings, Jae has been doing nothing but feel bad and guilty towards the human. He has decided to keep a distance, and that was it. It didn’t occur to him, not even for once, that he should do something to Brian, for Brian. 

 

But, Dowoon was very clear with his words. The threat of Brian’s aura turning transparent is unavoidable. If- when Jae goes back to being cupid, he’ll have to endure the sight of Brian turning soulless, and eternally loveless. Jae would never survive that sight. He’d rather watch him love someone else -more than he’d ever loved Jae-, than see him like that. 

 

To make it easier for Brian to get over him, Jae needed to grant him some kind of closure, and he knows exactly what to do. 

 

 

It’s time to say goodbye.

 

 

 

D-29

 

Jae looks down at his wrist watch, then at the door in front of him. He’s earlier than he should be, regardless of the hour. He kills a few minutes by breathing in and out repeatedly, going over the plan in his mind. When he thinks that he’s stalled enough, and that he’s ready -he’ll never be- he presses the bell five times, just in case. His heart is restless, almost jumping in his chest in both excitement and nervousness. 

 

There’s the sound of footsteps coming from inside, and he almost runs away. Thankfully, his legs are too numb to let him move. The door finally opens, revealing a very confused Brian. He’s barely awake, and he’s rubbing his eyes repeatedly, as if to make sure that what he’s seeing is real. Jae does not blame him.

 

“Jae hyung?” his fast blinking stops at once, eyes turning big, “What are you doing here? Did something bad happen?” He asks, worried. 

 

God he misses him so much! Jae’s insides twist and turn as he takes in Brian’s appearance. It’s barely been a week, but it feels like forever since he’s last seen him. His fingers twitch at his side, craving to reach for the human, to touch him. He suppresses every thought and every emotion, it’s not the right time for a crisis. Focus! 

 

He pushes past Brian to get him a thick jacket from the coats’ hanger, “Come on, put this on, and some shoes as well,” he orders, helping the puzzled guy put the jacket on. 

 

“Where are you taking me? Is everything alright?” Brian demands more urgently, putting his shoes on nevertheless.

 

“Everything’s okay, I just need to take you somewhere,” Jae reassures him. He barely lets him take his keys and phone, as he drags him by the hand out of the apartment. Bring in a rush helps him ignore his heart’s reaction to the physical contact with the human.

 

“At four AM?” Brian exclaims in question, “Can I at least know where?” 

 

“You’ll know when we’re there,” is all that Jae gives as an answer. 

 

Once they’re in front of the building, he makes him put the helmet on, and sit on the spot behind him on the scooter. It is too early. The sky is still of blue-ish black, and the streetlights are the only thing illuminating the streets. As Jae drives through the deserted roads, with Brian holding tightly on him, a wild thought comes to his mind. 

 

What would it be like to always have the city for just the two of them, just like now? Would their lives be less complicated if it was just him and Brian in this world? Would their love survive? Would they stand a chance, then?

 

Every thing they pass by is a blur because of their speed, and the wetness of his eyes makes it more difficult for him to see in front of him. Jae forcefully buries those questions deep in his heart, and holds back his tears. Now is not the time.

 

Brian stays silent the whole time, but when Jae drives through the parking lot’s entrance of a certain, luxurious building, he panics, “Hey! Why are you going there? Isn’t it restricted?”

 

The guard recognizes Jae and opens the gate for them, silencing him. After parking the scooter and taking off their helmets, Jae brings him to the elevator.

 

“Are you going to tell me why we’re here now?” Brian asks again, once they’re inside and the door closes.

 

Instead of replying, Jae first checks his watch, “We’re just in time, good,” he says, then presses the top floor’s button.

 

Brian’s eyes widen in shock, his face paling right away, “That- that’s too high.” 

 

He points his index up, and Jae can see that his whole hand is trembling slightly, “Do we have to go up there?” 

 

He seems on the verge of a breakdown, so Jae puts his hand on his shoulder, “Do you trust me?” He asks softly, but firmly.

 

The human seems to calm down a little bit, Jae’s eyes grounding him. He then nods. Jae beams at him, “Then don’t be afraid, since I’m here with you.”

 

Brian doesn’t object anymore, but his body is still too tense, and as the elevator goes up, and up, his steel grip on the rail never loosens. After a long ride, the elevator ticks and opens on the top floor. Brian hesitates to go out, so Jae wordlessly offers him his hand. He takes it, hesitantly. Jae could feel him shaking now.

 

They silently walk to the rooftop’s stairs, and when they reach its door, Jae takes a key to open it. Getting this certain key was challenging, to say the least. Forget about begging, the cupid had to ran errands for the head of security for a week to convince him that he meant no bad. He tried bribing him at first, that didn’t leave a nice impression, though. At least he has it now, with his personal effort. 

 

With his hand on the door knob, Jae glances at the human, “Are you ready?” 

 

Brian manages a small smile, that vanishes as soon as the door is fully open. When they step outside, the sky has lost some of its darkness, and the air is crisp. Brian wraps his jacket tighter around himself, but it’s not totally out of cold. He doesn’t say anything when Jae guides him to the edge, but he starts to be less cooperative, pulling him back. Even his breathing is getting more labored. 

 

“It’s okay, I’m here, you’ll be fine,” Jae keeps reassuring him, encouraging him to take a step at a time, “We’re almost there.” 

 

Brian does reach the edge, but his legs are wobbling too badly that he’s mostly leaning on Jae for support. 

 

“Are you going to tell me why are we here now?” He asks, almost desperately, eyes tightly shut and voice quivering. 

 

Jae glances at the horizon, glad that his expectations didn’t fail him, “It’s time. If you don’t open your eyes now, you’ll regret it.” 

 

It takes him a moment to gather his courage, then one by one, he pries his eyes open, just in time to see the first glimpses of light climbs up in the sky. The change is very small, yet it’s enough to illuminate the city. Or at least what’s visible from it. Jae has put his expertise in use, and chose this certain building -one of the five highest buildings in the city- and this certain day, for a reason, after all. 

 

A thick layer of fog is extending as far as their sight can go, and only the tops of some skyscrapers are visible. It gives the impression that they’re somewhere up in the sky, just above the clouds. The view never fails to amaze Jae, who can actually fly above the clouds. He always thinks of it as a merger between the Human world and the Cupid world. This is the closest Brian would be to his world.

 

Brian, who is seeing this for the first time in person, releases a small surprised voice, then his whole body freezes, the shaking stopping as well. His lips are slightly parted, and his eyes are transfixed on the view. His pupils are the only sign of life, as they keep shifting from a side to another, both amazed and overwhelmed, trying to take everything in at once. 

 

Having seen that view hundreds of times, and with someone much more breathtaking by his side, Jae doesn’t tear his gaze from Brian. The colors of twilight illuminating his skin make him more ethereal than he already is. His eyes are now teary, while shining with raw fascination. Under all the layers of surprise, Jae can see how happy he is. And that’s more than enough for  him. That’s all he’s asking for. 

 

The longer he watches Brian, the more the pain in his chest intensifies, and it’s really not the right time for that. Today is about Brian. His own feelings should wait. 

 

“It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let that fear steal the beautiful things from you,” he tells him, barely keeping it together.  

 

Brian nods once, visibly holding back his tears. His grasp on Jae’s hand tightens. 

 

“Thank you,” he breaths out, letting their eyes meet for a fraction, before averting his gaze back to the view. This time, a tear does slip down his cheek. Jae pretends not to see it. He wishes for them to be happy tears. 

 

 

For this day, this moment, he really wishes to forget everything about being a cupid, about the arrows and the mission, just this time. Only then this moment would be perfect, only then this moment would be a happy memory. The pain growing inside of him only serves as a reminder of the reality that he wants so badly forget.

 

No, even so, Jae will certainly remember this moment every time he flies at sunrise. Maybe at first, when his emotions are still raw, it will be painful to do so. He’ll have to avoid this place for a while. But after some time, when his scars get better, when they start to hurt less, he’ll come here to commemorate this moment. 

 

Also Jae will certainly come back here when being around a Brian that can’t see him anymore becomes unbearable. He’ll come here and pretend to be back to this day, with Brian by his side, looking at him with a smile. He’ll come here just to relive this exact moment. This place will be his safe haven.  

 

‘You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and-’

 

“I will always remember you.” He lets out in a soft whisper, but panics right away. He didn’t mean to say these words out loud. He didn’t mean to say them at all. 

 

This was not a part of his plan. He was supposed to bring Brian here, watch the sunrise with him, then tell him the script he’s prepared in his head. He should be telling him how they can’t be together, and apologize for ruining his love life, then say his goodbye, and leave. As simple as that. But look where his big mouth and stupid heart have lead him to.

 

Jae watches as Brian’s eyes well once more with tears. The human blinks and they fall. He must’ve heard him. Yet, long moments pass without him reacting.

 

“You shouldn’t,” he says, a while later, voice broken, and gaze still fixed ahead. 

 

“Brian,” Jae calls, him too on the verge of tears. He doesn’t know what to say to that. 

 

Brian exhales deeply, before turning to face him, “You’re magical and heavenly. You’ve got this,” he waves his hand around, mentioning for the view, “the earth and skies to roam, for eternities. Why would you-” he pauses, his voice failing him. He takes a strangled breath before adding, voice small and defeated, “Why taint your existence with a memory of someone like me?”

 

The words pierce right through Jae’s existence. It’s true that he brought Brian here to put a clear end to their ‘relationship’, but this is definitely not what he wanted. It’s too much and Jae moves without thinking. Damn thinking when Brian is like that! 

 

One hand cups Brian’s cheek, while the other lifts his head by the chin so their eyes could meet. 

 

“I would give up everything,” he presses on the word, hoping Brian could see that he really means it, “My wings, my powers, my lifetimes, the earth and skies and heavens, for just some extra time with you,” his thumb brushes another stray tear from his cheek.  “I mean it.”

 

Brian gives him a weak nod, his way of saying, ‘I believe you’. His tears are unstoppable, so Jae brings him in for a hug. It only intensifies the shaking of the human. He must’ve been holding it in for too long. When Jae had Wonpil to comfort him, Brian had no one to lend him a shoulder to cry on. Even if he had, he’s not the kind of person that would openly cry in front of someone else. It’s okay. He’s got Jae now, who’s not intending on letting go. 

 

They stay like that for a while, Jae’s hand securing Brian’s head on his shoulder, caressing his hair, while the other running up and down his back, all meant to soothe him, but also to let Jae compensate for the times he denied himself this warmth. 

With Brian crying silently on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around his waist, Jae makes a decision. An irreversible one. 

 

“I was stupid to think that keeping away from you was the best choice,” he reprimands himself. He feels Brian shake his head against his shoulder, so he breaks the hug just enough for them to be looking at each other. The human’s eyes are puffed and red rimmed, but his tears has stopped for now.

 

“You asked me what my heart wants,” Brian tries to say something but he stops him by a finger on his lips, “It wants you, Brian,” he tells him, loud and clear. Brian is both shocked and emotional, he’s on the verge of tears again, but Jae is not finished yet.

 

“It- no I want to spend what little time left by your side. I want to make every moment count,” he is speaking out his heart’s deepest desires, and it magically makes the heaviest weights inside of hid chest disappear. Jae can finally breathe again.

 

Using his fingertips, Brian brushes Jae’s bangs to the side, gentle and hesitant. It brings a soft smile to the cupid’s lips.

 

“Is this- will you be okay?” Brian questions, still finding the energy to be concerned over him. 

 

Jae gets the implication of that question, so reassures him with a genuine smile, “Never been better.” 

 

The human doesn’t seem convinced, so he ruffles his hair lovingly, “Stop worrying, will you? Everything is going to be fine, I promise.”

 

He’s not sure if that counts as a lie or not. All that he cares about is seeing Brian worry-less, happy.

 

His answer seems to be enough for the human, since he releases a relieved sigh, then smiles in the most blinding way. 

 

“Thank you, for accepting my love,” he says, letting his hand rest on the side of Jae’s neck. 

 

Jae bumps their noses together, playfully, “And thank you for loving a troublemaker like me.” 

 

That gains him a melodious chuckle from Brian. They stare into each others eyes for a moment, affectionate and fond. Jae has a hand placed over the other’s chest, and he can actually feel his quickened heartbeats under his palm. It’s kind of reassuring, because the same kind of somersaults are happening inside of his chest, as well.  

 

“Can I- can I kiss you?” 

 

There’s hesitance is Brian’s tone, and more of it in the cupid’s nod. With his courage finally leaving him, Jae gets into a panic mood. As everyone knows, he’s never been kissed before. Of course, he’s seen humans do it all the time, but seeing and experiencing it firsthand, are two different things.

 

Their faces are closer now, that their noses are almost touching. And Jae is a wreck of nerves. What calms him a little is Brian’s loving gaze. It calms him down a little, yet lights a blazing fire inside of him. He wants this. 

 

Brian cups his cheek, letting his thumb caress it, then tiptoes a little so he could bring their lips together. The touch is revolutionary, not like any other touch Jae has ever experienced, yet not so much. It still holds the same warmth and comfort that Brian’s existence has brought into his life. It makes him understand what the word ‘home’ really means. This is home. Brian is his home.

 

The kiss is brief, Brian keeping it slow and gentle. Still, when they part, they’re both breathless, barely surviving the intensity of their emotions being set free by the kiss. The yearning and heartache are finally turning into something bittersweet, yet beautiful. 

 

It takes them some time to get down from the high of that moment, and by the time they do, they’ve missed the sunrise. But that’s like the last thing on their minds, both too preoccupied engraving this memory in their minds and hearts. 

 

How a goodbye has turned into the beginning of a relationship, is something beyond Jae. He blames it on that big spot in his chest that turns to jelly whenever Brian is included -aka his heart. 

 

 

-

 

 

 

When they go back down, it’s a reasonable time for breakfast, or at least some coffeeshops are starting to open. They go to a cozy waffle place -recommended by Jae-, and they sit closely in a booth, almost sticking to each other’s sides. Brian is shameless enough to occasionally feed Jae, who pretends to be annoyed by it, but is internally melting. At some point, they fight over the maple syrup bottle, because Jae can’t help but pour half of it over his waffles. 

 

“You’re going to get cavities and diabetes,” Brian tries to sound firm, but his eyes are literally smiling on their own. Shining.

 

“I don’t even know what’s that,” Jae sassily comments, leisurely munching on another piece of his waffles that is literally dripping with maple syrup. Of course he’s got an idea about those illnesses, but it’s too general to consider their risks. To his horror, the other proceeds on giving him a very detailed explanation about them. He doesn’t shut up until Jae shoves a big piece of the waffle in his mouth. 

 

“You humans and your unreasonably weak bodies. It’s like breathe and you’ll get sick!” He shakes his head, and Brian laughs.

 

“Yes, if the air is polluted, that can happen,” he says, as a matter of fact, which earns him a shove from Jae. 

 

“Can you be a little bit more romantic? This is my first date, ever! be considerate!” 

 

His statement causes Brian to freak out, “Oh no!” He shakes his head, urgently, “This is not a date!”

 

Jae frowns in confusion, “Oh? It is not?” 

 

“Our first date needs to be special,” the human adds, before he misunderstands his denial, “Preferably something fancy, tailored suits and expensive wine, not a small waffle place with me in my pajamas!”

 

The way he describes his idea of their first date makes Jae blush, but shake his head as well. 

 

“I’m fine with just this as our first date,” his hand timidly reaches for Brian’s over the table, and he lets their fingers intertwine, “This is already special for me, even if you’re in your pajamas.” 

 

The last part is said in a teasing way, but it doesn’t help alleviating Brian’s bashfulness. His cheeks are already dusted a beautiful pink. 

 

“Are you sure this is your first date? How come you’re so cheesy?” he questions, trying to sound disgusted, but his voice and eyes betray him. 

 

Jae smirks, briefly, knowing very well that he’s secretly enjoying it. He then shrugs, “Try watching humans being cheesy for years, it kind of rubs on you.”

 

For some reason, he’s finding it really easy to speak about cupids’ antics in front of the other, without feeling weird or guilty. Even Brian doesn’t seem too bewildered by his small revelations. He just shakes his head in disbelief, then goes back to eating, not letting go of Jae’s hand, nevertheless. 

 

 

After their breakfast date, Jae drives Brian back to his apartment, so that he can get ready to go to work. The human gets off the scooter, taking off his helmet, “I still can call and tell them I’m not coming,” he tries to convince Jae, reluctant on parting with him so soon. 

 

The cupid shakes his head, “No, you have to go,” he says, ignoring the voice inside of his head begging him to agree. The fact that Brian is now holding on his hand and refusing to let go is not helping at all. When did he hold it in the first place? 

 

“We’ll see each other after work, anyways.”

 

But Brian is still sulking, with a big pout and pleading eyes. 

 

“I’ll come on your lunch break too, happy?” 

 

At this, he finally looks satisfied, “Alright, I’ll wait for you.”

 

“Okay now go or you’re going to be late,” Jae pushes him by the shoulder, but Brian is still not letting go of his hand. He is standing on the pavement, looking kind of shy and hesitant. Jae smirks, pulling him by his hand. Once they’re close enough, he leans in and drops a kiss on his cheeks.

 

“See you later,” He smiles, slyly. 

 

Brian nods obediently twice, before finally letting go of him. He slowly walks to the building, and as soon as he reaches the door to the lobby, he turns around to wave at him, grinning from ear to ear. Jae waves back, him too feeling as giddy. 

 

The cupid keeps smiling in Brian’s direction, even after he disappears inside. It takes a few moments for the realization to down on him, but when it does, his smile falls instantly, and his whole body sags. Not that he’s been unaware of the situation he’s put himself into, but he’s refused to acknowledge it around Brian. The latter has been genuinely happy, and he couldn’t ruin his mood just like that. 

 

Jae himself has never been as happy as he’s been this morning. All the emotions that used to weight him down disappeared. Or maybe some of them are still there, but the delight from finally confessing to Brian and being with him has made any other feeling meaningless. He’s never felt this light, not even while flying. 

 

Even so, there’s no ounce of regret inside of him, and that’s what encourages him most to go find Hyeji. He knocks on her office door, and enters as soon as she’s given him permission. Hyeji doesn’t look surprised to see him, but she still has that questioning look on her face. She knows that something is up. 

 

“I’ve made my choice,” he announces, without any kind of introduction.

 

She blinks at him once, twice, then her shoulders drop. She sighs, “You’re together now, I guess,” she states, not sounding shocked, but not disappointed either. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Hyeji nods, understandingly. She doesn’t speak for a while, so he takes that chance to voice out his concern, “About the ninety days, what’s going to happen next?”

 

She crosses her arms and answers in a very business-like tone, “If you’re afraid of your time here being cut short, then don’t worry. The judges are very systematic. In all cases, you need to finish this punishment first, before another trial takes place.”

 

That relieves him as much as it worries him. He’s glad that his time with Brian won’t be cut short, and yet-  “Another trial…”

 

“Yes, another one,” she affirms, “The order is very clear for that one as well. First, they’ll go through your mission, which is considered a success, but then, they get to your relationship with Brian and-”

 

“The extreme punishment?” He cuts in, knowing exactly what awaits him. 

 

Hyeji gives him a sympathetic look. He can almost hear the grief in her words, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jae gives her a small smile, “No, I am the one that should be sorry, for disappointing you.” 

 

She shakes her head in strong disapproval, “Jae, this is your choice to make, and yours alone,” she insists, putting emphasis on the words, “My job is to guide and advice you, not control you. If this is really what you want, then I’m not going to stop you. No one is. ”

 

To have Hyeji herself respect and support his decision helps lessen Jae’s worries and distress. “Thank you,” he says, but he knows it will never be enough to express how grateful he is towards her.

 

“It is really what I want,” he then reassures her, and he really means it. 

 

Hyeji smiles at that, genuine yet sad, “Then I’ll try to be happy for you.” 

 

 

Later on, when Jae is about to leave her office, she calls his name, so he turns around.

 

“Make sure to use your time wisely.” 

 

Jae grins at her, “I will.”

 

Then, he adds cheekily, “Now excuse me, I have a lunch date with my boyfriend.” 

 

-TBC-

---

 

Y'all been dying to get them together, so that's what I did ;D

I have to admit, this chapter was by far the hardest to edit. It was too time and effort consuming, so I hope it came out well *fingers crossed*

About next chapter:
Okay, I did say that I'll be writing more, but I barely made any progress. I was sick this past week and the pills I took made me drowsy and unmotivated all the time *fml*. So yeah, if the next chapter takes longer than usual, I apologize in advance T__T 

Anyways, you guys stay healthy, safe and happy, and till next time =D