Cupids spend their whole lives observing humans fall in love and go on dates, without developing any kind of understanding towards their behavior. They watch some of the coldest people turning into complete saps as soon as they fall in love, and the eternal question remains as a simple ‘how’. How does that happen, and how is it possible? Is it an innate characteristic? Or do they just imitate each other? 

 

A few days in his first -and obviously last- relationship, Jae is sure that humans themselves don’t have an answer to that question. That change is something that just happens. The degree is different from a human to another, but if you look close enough, that change is always there. 

 

 

In Brian’s case, it’s very noticeable, whether through his words, expressions, or gestures. For instance, he talks more openly now, says whatever on his mind without holding back. It turns out that even he can be random at times, a new side to him that Jae finds extremely cute. But no filters and randomness meant a lot of flirting as well. Jae has lost count of how many times they’d be having a casual talk, and a compliment would fly his way, out of the blue. It would be completely irrelevant to the topic they’re discussing, like how his hair shines like sunlight -Brian’s words not his-, or how soft his hands are, or even how the hoodie he’s wearing brings out his eyes’ color. Jae would be lying if he said that he doesn’t like those -his red cheeks would expose him anyways-, but that doesn’t stop him from cringing so hard in front of his boyfriend. He loves teasing him back, just like that. 

 

Another thing that Jae totally adores about Brian, are his eyes. They are very expressive, a mirror of whatever he’s feeling at the moment, and what his words fail to express, his eyes are ready to cover for them. The cupid realizes that he’s been really stupid. If he’s taken the time to carefully look into his eyes, he would’ve found about Brian’s feelings towards him a very long time ago. But as they say, better late than never. 

 

Brian is, also, a very clingy boyfriend. He is always seeking the warmth of Jae’s body, without being forceful or invasive. Wether by having his hand on the small of Jae’s back when they walk, an arm around his shoulders or around his waist when they’re close enough, or simply having their hands intertwined, he’ll always find a way, and his touches are very warm, very gentle. 

 

So when Brian gets deprived of Jae’s touch for a few hours because of work, he’d ambush him with a tight hug as soon as he sees him, and would refuse to let him go for a while. For that exact reason, Jae has not gone back to Hyeji’s house for days -since the day he went to announce their relationship to be more specific- not even to get a change of clothes. He doesn’t want to be reported missing by Brian if he does so. That also goes back to the fact that he enjoys wearing his boyfriend’s clothes a little too much, and the look it causes on Brian’s face even more. Those moments usually end up with Jae pressed against the closest surface, his body flushed and lips swollen.  

 

Brain’s kisses -oh god!- are really what drives him insane. Sometimes, it’s a sweet peck on the cheek, or temple. Other times, when they hug goodnight, he kisses the top of Jae’s head -because Jae loves spooning. But Jae’s favorites got to be those on the lips. Brian just loves kissing him silent, especially when he’s ranting about something random. He would be listening with a goofy, fond expression at first, but at some point, when he can’t hold it in anymore, he’d interrupt him with a passionate, slow kiss. So now, on the rare occasions where Brian is the one ranting, Jae would do the same for him, leaving him both surprised and breathless. 

 

 

So yeah, it’s really fascinating to see how a loner like Brian, who’s been out of the dating agenda for years, is very capable of being affectionate. Still, he is not the only one changing. It’s happening to Jae as well. 

 

Even if Brian is cheesy and clingy, he still cannot be compared to someone who knows more ways of being cheesy and clingy than humanity is aware of. Jae himself didn’t realize he’s acquired that much knowledge until it started coming naturally to him. The coy smiles, the flirtatious words, the sweet, yet teasing touches, all done unconsciously. Jae wonders how long it will take for Brian to lose his mind because of him. 

 

Well, it’s not that Jae is totally fine himself. For all he knows, it should not be normal to feel that much of emotions around someone, all the freaking time! Like, every eye contact brings time to a stop, taking him to other galaxies and beyond. Every sound silences everything around him, Brian’s voice making sure that it will be the only sound echoing for forever in Jae’s memory. Every touch stirring awake an extinct volcano, causing an eruption after another inside of his heart. 

 

To sum it all,  Jae feels like he can explode at any given moment, whenever he’s around Brian, or just thinking of him. He thinks it must be part of being in love. 

 

 

 

D-27

 

“Is this really you?” Jae asks, lively, while pointing at the toddler in the old picture. He found this photo album on the book shelf, hidden between two thick encyclopedias. The discovery had him jumping in excitement. Brian didn’t look as thrilled, yet, he let him go through it -after Jae has attacked him with his signature pout, of course.

 

“Last time I checked, yes,” comes Brian’s soft voice, just next to his ear. 

 

They’re currently cuddling on Brian’s bed. Jae has his head resting on Brian’s shoulder, while the latter’s arm is snaking around his waist, both hands holding the photo album for Jae, so he could flip through it as he wants. 

 

“You were so cute!” Jae coos at the picture, “What happened?”  

 

The teasing got him a deathly glare, followed by a bite on the shoulder. Laughing, he squirms away from the attack, but finds that he’s already trapped in the other’s arms 

 

“Sorry sorry,” he says, barely suppressing his chuckles. Brian is not biting him anymore, but he’s still sporting an offended look. 

 

“You’re still as cute,” he adds cheekily, lifting himself a little to peck his boyfriend’s cheek. 

 

The human fights back a grin, but fails, “I’m cuter, now,” he sulkily says, and Jae can’t help but laugh at that. 

 

He then resumes exploring the photo album with a lot of curiosity. It’s not too big, and it doesn’t have a lot of pages, but it holds pieces of Brian’s life that he doesn’t know about. He wants to know the beginning of Brian, how he became the person he is today, his journey. These photos might hold answers to some of his question. 

 

Jae stops to examine a certain picture, of five-ish years old Brian with his parents. It causes a pang in his heart, but brings a fond smile to his lips. 

 

“You have your mom’s smile and you father’s eyes,” he comments cautiously, studying the other’s face for any reaction. 

 

To his relief, Brian hums, mirroring his expression, sad but loving, “I’ve never met anyone who knew them to confirm that, so it’s nice hearing it from you.”

 

The years of mourning and longing hidden in those words break Jae’s heart. He wordlessly moves his hand to place it over the hand holding the album, his thumb rubbing Brian’s comfortingly. The human gives him a small smile, as a sign of gratitude. Jae doesn’t want to push the matter. When Brian is ready, he’ll tell him everything. 

 

With the mood settling again, the cupid flips to the next page, with Brian telling him about the backstory of every photo. They’re all happy memories with his family or his childhood friends, and it kind of consoles Jae. Brian was loved as a kid, and had people that he genuinely loved around him. 

 

“This was my last day at elementary school,” it’s another picture taken with his parent, “It was a few days before their accident,” Brian slowly adds, his body and arms around him stiffening. Even though it’s making him uncomfortable, he’s still fixed on telling Jae the whole story. 

 

“That night, they left me with a family friend. It was their wedding anniversary and they went out to celebrate. They were together, even in death,,” he jokes, drily. His eyes are filled with tears, but he blinks them away. Now, Jae is regretting finding this album in the first place.

 

The next picture is of an unsmiling Brian, with an unfamiliar lady.

 

“This was my foster mother. A widow with no children. She was nice, not very affectionate, but I know that she loved me.” The way he talks about the woman holds a lot of regret, but a sense of coldness as well. As if he’s not allowing for himself to mourn yet another parental figure, or consider her as one at all.

 

“But not as much as expected form a mother,” Jae finishes for him, and he nods.

 

“I didn’t love her as much as I loved my mother, so it’s kind of fair,” he says with a shrug, but Jae knows that it probably still fills him with guilt. 

 

The woman might have been emotionally distant,  but she was present in most of the important event in Brian’s childhood. His middle school graduation, his birthdays, the competitions he participated in, and more. At his high school graduation, however, she looked sickly and weak.  In the picture taken on his first day in college, Brian was alone, his indifferent expression holding more grief, if possible. 

 

“She was a strong woman, but her illness was stronger,” he explains, “I was the only family member at her funeral. I guess we both were filling the emptiness in each other’s lives.”

 

Jae doesn’t know how to comfort him for that other than squeeze his hand harder, hoping that his message of ‘don’t blame yourself’ will get through to him. Brian visibly doesn’t want to further speak of the matter, but the way his body relaxes a little tells him that he appreciates the gesture. 

 

The next picture has both Brian and Sungjin. They were sitting on some stairs, surrounded by papers. Both of them look noticeably younger, even while smiling exhaustedly at the camera. 

 

“This was taken before we started dating, that’s why I kept it.”

 

He must’ve felt the need to explain, in fear of Jae getting jealous. The latter finds it cute, whatsoever. He beams at him, booping their noses together, “I didn’t ask.”

 

Brian blushes in embarrassment, then looks away, loudly clearing his throat, “Anyways,” then proceeds to flip to the last page. Jae didn’t even realize they’ve already gone through all the pictures. 

 

There’s a jump in time, and the last picture is of him on his graduation day, standing in front of a huge statue, holding his diploma. It’s probably one of the few pictures of him smiling. 

 

Jae remembers this day so clearly, “Oh,” he exclaims, happily, “I was there!” He points at the spot on the left. It was empty.

 

“You were?” Brian raises an eyebrow in question, surprise evident on his face.

 

“Of course, I assisted through the whole ceremony, and stood there when they took your picture,” the cupid says proudly, “I love photo bombing humans’ pictures.”

 

Brian frowns, unable to follow his logic, “But you don’t actually appear?” 

 

“Exactly! That’s makes it more fun!” When the other still gives him a confused look, he tries to further explain it to him, “You can do whatever pose you want without annoying anyone! It’s a win-win deal for every one.” 

 

Brian shakes his head in disbelief. He glances once more at the picture with a new found joy, then hugs Jae’s body closer to him, burying his face into the crook of his neck.

 

“It’s nice, knowing that you were there,” he tells him, voice barely above a whisper, “that I was not alone.”

 

Brian did not choose to be alone. Brian was forced to be alone. Jae has realized that for some time, and this only affirms that statement. He leans back, letting his head fall on Brian’s shoulder again. “I was with you all the time, you know.” 

 

His boyfriend lifts his face form its hideout, giving him a questioning look, so he tells him, not caring of how creepy it might sound. 

 

“I used to sometimes sit with you during those boring lectures. At first, it fascinated me how you’d still follow and never fall asleep during them, but I caught you doodling on your notebook one day. Turns out you’re not that much of nerd,” he says with a chuckle. 

 

Brian releases a small laugh, “Oops, sorry to disappoint.” 

 

“I also was there during your work interviews. I couldn’t just let you go through them by yourself. Someone needed to send you some positive vibes and encouragements, after all,” he says, as if Brian could hear him, or feel his presence, back then.  “And I never missed your birthdays! -You sure spent them in the most boring way ever, but I had to be there at le-”

 

Jae is interrupted by a set of lips muffling his words. He melts instantly at the touch, letting the warmth seep through him like slow lava. The arms around him are now relaxed, giving him the chance to turn his body to the side, his hand naturally finding its spot on the side of Brian’s neck.  The kiss consumes all of his reasonable thinking, so when it comes to an end, it takes him a moment to regain his mental steadiness. 

 

“What was that for?” He questions, breathless.

 

Brian’s expression is oozing with affection when he says, “For being the most fantastic person to ever exist.”

 

Those words, paired with the most sincere tone, and an intense gaze, melts Jae to the core. He must be blushing from head to toe.

 

“Ugh!!” He groans, hiding his face in his boyfriend’s chest, “You’re too much!!” 

 

Brian wraps his arms once more around him. He’s laughing softly, and Jae can feel the vibration under his ear. He loves this position for this particular reason. This way, not only he can hear his boyfriend’s heartbeats and vocal vibrations, but even feel them. It brings some kind of reassurance to him. He won’t have this luxury in the future. Better abuse it now, while he can. 

 

A comforting silence falls over them, but Jae knows that Brian is consumed by his thoughts. Once he well organizes them, he’ll voice them out for Jae to hear. So he waits. 

 

“After losing my parents,” Brian starts after some time, a hint of hesitance in his voice. It’s gone as soon as Jae hums in acknowledgment. “I lost hope on finding someone that could love me unconditionally like they did, I embraced the loneliness at a young age, but I was never fine with it. All I did, was for them, in case they were watching over me. I wanted them to feel proud, even in their death.”

 

Jae knows that Brian is barely holding back his tears, that it was not easy for him to say those words out loud. So, he presses himself closer to his side, hoping his warmth would help comfort his boyfriend. Still, he wants to do more for him, tell him that he’s never been as lonely as he thought he was.

 

“I remember being so excited on the day of your graduation,” he tells, reminiscing that day with a smile, “I’ve never understood the importance of such event, until I had to watch you work that hard during your college years,” he meets Brian’s eyes. He’s crying. 

 

Jae his cheek, wiping away his tears, “When I saw you on the podium, receiving your diploma, I felt so, so proud of you.” 

 

Brian’s eyes widen, his lower lip quivering. He looks really vulnerable and small like that, as if the little boy from those pictures manifesting in front of Jae, waiting desperately for him to put his mind at ease. Jae does exactly that.

 

“You did great, I’ve always wanted to tell you that,” he says, voice gentle but sure. Then, he plants a kiss on his forehead. “They must be really proud of you.”  

 

Brian is crying and unable to talk, but he still breaks into a wide smile. It’s carefree and light, and Jae knows that the little boy is finally set free. 

 

 

 

D-25

 

“Look who’s finally remembered us,” Jinyoung announces as soon as Jae steps inside the Cupid Café. 

 

Jae has to admit, for the last few days, he’s been too absorbed in his pink bubble that it didn’t occur to him that he should, at least, pass by and greet them. Now that he’s realized his mistake, he feels extremely bad. That’s why he’s here today, though. Brian is currently at work, and he’s told him that they won’t be having lunch together. Of course, the human has sulked a little bit, but gave in anyways. 

 

“Hey guys,” Jae says, giving Youngjae and Jinyoung high fives. Wonpil, who’s behind the coffee machine, totally ignores him, not even when he holds his palm up for him. 

 

“Come on Wonpil! I’m sorry. Please don’t be like this!” He tries to apologize, but said guy gives him a cold look, then turns his back on him, and leaves to the back. 

 

“Don’t mind him, he’s been sulking like that for days,” Jinyoung tells him, looking apologetic, “Jealousy, I guess,” he then adds with a wink, so Jae doesn’t dwell on it.

 

For the rest of the morning, he sits with the rest of the staff, annoying them like the good old days -read as last week. This time, however, he gets teased back, because of his new relationship. News do travel fast, it seems. Jinyoung and Jaebum are particularly shameless with their questions, and by lunchtime, there’s barely any difference between Jae’s face and his red sweater.   

 

Dowoon joins them for lunch, and as usual, the others insist on ordering food from the terrible place Jae hates. Weird enough, he does finish his order this time. It turns out that food does taste better when you’re with people you like. Or maybe he just kept stuffing his mouth just so he won’t curse them for teasing him even during lunch. 

 

To be completely honest, Jae is going to miss this, a lot. The time spent with them, the jokes, the teasing, the silliness, everything. He hasn’t known them for so long, but he considers them as his friends -even Jaebum, if he just stops glaring at him for no reason at all. 

 

Friendship is yet another thing he learned to love and treasure, because it will be taken from him soon. 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Jae’s peaceful visit is interrupted by Sungjin’s appearance. The cupid has been chatting with Dowoon for some time, enjoying an overly sweet caramel macchiato -Jinyoung’s treat-, when he walks in.  Jae almost hides in the back when he sees him, but the human walks straightly to his direction, as if he’s known his exact location.

 

“I was told I’m going to find you here,” without waiting for an invite, Sungjin sits across him. 

 

Jae is surprised at first, then turns to the other guys with accusatory eyes, but they all shake their heads, looking as clueless as him. Who’s the traitor that told on him then? 

 

It’s not that he doesn’t want to meet Sungjin, but he’s been avoiding him for a while, only contacting him in extreme situations. 

 

“Are you going to stay? Or do I need to tie you down to the chair so we can have this talk?” Sungjin demands, sounding threatening. He must be really angry.

 

Sensing the cold atmosphere around him, Dowoon takes his cup of coffee and slips out of his seat in the most discreet way ever abandoning his fellow cupid just like that. Jae is in this by himself, it seems. He lets out a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to avoid you.” 

 

Surprisingly, Sungjin’s fury dissipates instantly at the apology, replaced by a troubled one, “Is it because you’re now dating Brian?” 

 

Jae wishes it was that simple. However, Sungjin does not know what Jae has done to him in the past, that he stole Brian from him five years ago. He hates that he can’t tell him the truth, that he can’t apologize properly. All he can do is give an ambiguous answer, “Yes and no.”

 

Sungjin purses his lips into a thin line. He looks determined. “Hyung, I told you, Brian is a past that I wish not go back to.”

 

Jae shakes his head weakly. “Don’t you sometimes wish that it would’ve worked? Between you two?” 

 

“I do,” Sungjin says, firmly. Jae’s heart sinks deeper. He really shouldn’t have asked that question in the first place.

 

“But then I realize that we would never be happy together,” he adds, looking straight into Jae’s eyes, trying to get his point through to him, “Even if he’d loved me as much as I did, he’d never give me the happiness I needed, and I wouldn’t either. We’d be in love, but miserable. That’s not the kind of a relationship I’d want for either of us.”  

 

Jae doesn’t want to be reassured by that statement, yet, he can’t help but feel the guilt inside of him shrink little by little. 

 

“You, on the other hand, you make Brian happy,” Sungjin points out, his smile heart-warming, “I actually was waiting for you to get together.”

 

That does surprised Jae more that he already is, “Really?”

 

The other rolls his eyes, dramatically, “Do you not know how painful it was to watch all the pining between you two, ugh, so frustrating!” 

 

Jae rolls his eyes, “Okay, I get it! We were stupid!” 

 

“Yes you were!”

 

They both laugh wholehearted, the atmosphere around them regaining its usual casualness.

 

“You know, I’m really, really glad it didn’t work between us,” Sungjin admits at some point.

 

Jae frowns, confused, “Huh? Why?”

 

Just then, Jaebum emerges form the kitchen, and walks straight to their table, placing a plate with a slice of Jae’s favorite chocolate cake on it. The cupid almost melts in his place, his fork already ready to attack. However, a hand slaps his away before he could even approach the cake. He finds Jaebum glaring at him. It’s more threatening this time, like it could literally kill.

 

“That’s not for you,” he warns him, sliding the plate into Sungjin’s direction. 

 

If Jae didn’t see it with his eyes, he’d never believe it, but Jaebum’s glare melts away as soon as he meets Sungjin’s eyes, and he’s smiling -what the f- actually smiling at Sungjin, and the latter was smiling back. Jae’s mouth falls open from shock.

 

“Unbelievable, right?” A voice asks, next to his ear. 

 

Jae shakes his head, “Is this a dream? A nightmare?” 

 

“We all wish for it to be a dream, or a nightmare.”

 

“We can still hear you, you know?” Sungjin flatly comments, blushing whatsoever. Jaebum, on the other hand, sends them another deathly stare -such a contrast to the expression he just had on his face- and Youngjae kind of vanishes from Jae’s side. Jaebum himself doe not linger for any longer, going back to his work. Now, it’s only the two of them. Jae smirks.

 

“So,” he starts, “you and Jaebum, who would’ve thought.” 

 

“He’s a nice guy,” Sungjin replies, with an idiotic smile on his face. Jae chokes on his saliva. 

 

“Jaebum? Nice? Huh.” 

 

When the other nods without hesitation, Jae realizes that he’s in no place to judge. “Anyways, I’m happy for you,” he beams at him, and the other mirrors it instantly.

 

“Me too.” For some reason, his face falls a little, before he voices out his thoughts, “Brian didn’t tell me the reason, but he said you’re not staying?” He says, unsure of how to phrase it. Jae nods slowly, affirming his doubts. 

 

Sungjin takes a deep breath, his voice getting sadder, “I just wish there’s a way for you to stay.” 

 

Jae suddenly feels like crying. He didn’t expect Sungjin to be so thoughtful and caring. Yet, there he is, burdened by something not his fault, in the slightest. 

 

“It’s not-” he doesn’t even know what to say, so he lowers his head. “It’s out of my hand.”

 

A hand settles on his shoulder. When he lifts his gaze, he’s met with Sungjin’s reassuring, yet sympathetic eyes, “I understand.”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

After Sungjin leaves, Jae decides to search for Wonpil, who’s disappeared since morning. It doesn’t take him much time searching, he’s in the storage room, counting down bags of coffee beans. Has he been there the whole time?

 

“There you are.”

 

Wonpil does not spare him a single glance, passively writing on his small notepad.  

 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re so upset?” Jae demands, after standing, waiting for more than five minutes, “Are you angry with me?”

 

Finally, that gauges a reaction from the other, “With you?” He scoffs, “No. Not at all. Why would I be?” He says, sardonic. 

 

“Oh, So you are,” Jae is not surprised, but hurt. He expected Wonpil out of everyone to be happy for him, to understand him. 

 

“Why?” 

 

Wonpil gives him an incredulous look, “Do you really not know?” 

 

Now, Jae is getting a little impatient, “I wouldn’t be asking if I knew.”

 

“I thought we were friends, Jae!” Wonpil snaps at once, “You could’ve talked to me before stupidly confessing to that human?”

 

Jae expected him to be angry because he didn’t tell him, but it seems there was more to the other’s fury. 

 

“Why are you getting so worked up about it?” He tries not to get worked up as well, to slowly understand the other’s opposition to his decision first. “What makes it stupid?” 

 

Wonpil replies in a heartbeat, as if he’s so sure of his answer, “Because you’re sacrificing too much for someone that might not even remember you in ten years!!” 

 

That’s enough to ignite Jae’s anger as well. “Okay I don’t know what’s your problem, but first of all, it’s not that human, his name is Brian,” he retorts, “and Brian is not like that!”

 

Wonpil scoffs, crossing his arms. “And how do you know?” He questions, challengingly. 

 

“Because I trust him,” that must’ve sounded stupid for the other, but Jae means it. He trusts Brian with his life. He knows that Brian will always remember him.

 

“You’re a fool!” he’s no longer shouting, but his voice is more distant now, colder.

 

“That doesn’t mean that Brian is like that,” Jae says between gritted teeth. Brian is not like that. 

 

“Is he not?” Wonpil raises an eyebrow, almost mockingly, “Cupids know more than anyone else how humans are. We’ve seen it with our eyes, for so many years, their way of love. Your boyfriend can’t possibly be that different.”

 

Well, Jae has had enough. “Stop talking like you know everything!” He yells a the other, driven over the edge against his will. “Do you think it was easy for me to make this choice?! You don’t know what if feels like to be in my position, so shut up!” 

 

He’s out of breath when he finishes, and he regrets saying those words as soon as the last one is out. Wonpil, on the other hand, is still fixing him with that cold gaze, but his voice is colder, if possible.

 

“I do.” 

 

For a moment, Jae is confused to what exactly the other is replying to, but then it all becomes clear when Wonpil adds, “I’ve been there once.”

 

Without giving Jae the chance to recover or apologize, he leaves him alone, in a room that smells too much like coffee, and guilt. 

 

-TBC-

---

 

Surprise surprise!!! I'm back with another chapter =D I didn't proofread it, so I hope there are no grave mistakes!!

It's weird how no one's ever questioned Wonpil's backstory; I left a few minor hints, but maybe they were not really obvious.

Anyways, don't forget to drop a comment if you like this update (cause obviously comments motivate me to update faster ;D )

Again, wherever you are, please keep safe and healthy!!! Till next week <3 <3