Or how Jiyong was forced to face the consequences.

Jiyong is beyond devastated. 

He was slumped over, sitting at the corner table in the BigBang dance practice room. His shoulders were hunched, his head buried in his hands, hiding from the embarrassment of being pointed as an idiot. 

Because that’s who he is. A big ing idiot. 

He knew that his bandmates, Youngbae and Daesung, who were lounging around the room, knew what happened – at least, perhaps an inkling of what he had done. 

After the ed-up encounter he had with the love of his life, Seungri, and the stupid position he had dug himself in, he immediately sought Youngbae. But when he entered the room, and saw the lonesome table just existing at the corner of the room—something in the way the light dims over the figure, calls for him. And he just—

He ignored the two who called for him and sat at the table, hid his face in his hand, and let out a long, devastating yell, “Fuuuuuccccckkkkkkk”

Youngbae and Daesung exchanged a quick look. Youngbae sighed before walking towards his best friend, he thought that his days of consoling the leader would’ve been over by now, but apparently, he had underestimated his best friend’s stupidity. 

“What’s up, Ji?” He asked, forcing himself to sound casual and not let his disappointment slip through.

Jiyong groaned before mumbling, “I ed up, Bae. I’m so stupid.”

Youngbae sighed, “Well, nothing new then?” he teased.

Yet Daesung frowned, somehow sensing something serious about it. He looked over at Youngbae and shook his head.

Youngbae nodded. Fine, he’ll stop with his jokes for now. “What did you do wrong?”

If possible, Jiyong even looked more devastated than ever. They heard a faint sob muffled between his hands, and their worry doubled. 

Jiyong looked as if he had personally let out the fall of mankind and all he could do is wallow in regret and carry the burden of his mistake till the end of eternity. His hands had grown numb hiding his tears and he couldn’t even lift them up for another second. They fell down on the table with a soft thud. 

And his bloodshot eyes were displayed for his friends to see.

Daesung gaped at the sight of Jiyong. He lifted his hand, and softly placed it on his brother’s shoulder. Words of comfort died on his throat, as if they knew that they wouldn’t be welcome in Jiyong’s ears. 

Youngbae kneeled before the man and grabbed both of his hands with his own. He caressed them in a circular motion, humming a soft melody as he did so. 

Jiyong’s breathing hitched, as if the world had cut off his oxygen supply. His eyes widened and he suddenly forgot how to breath. He couldn’t feel any air coming inside him, his lungs had closed on its own, and he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe—

There were suddenly arms around him, enclosing him in a warm embrace. He could feel the gush of air next to his ears. A soft whisper, “Breathe in, breathe out, come on Ji, breathe with me.” The harmony continued to play in the background. 

Tears fell down from his eyes. He closed them in a pathetic attempt to stop it. 

But they didn’t. They continue to fall down his eyes, like water from the mountain.

How can loving someone be this painful?

Isn’t love supposed the best thing to come in your life? Isn’t love supposed to save us from a meaningless life? 

Yet how can love feel as if someone was ripping his ribs open and grabbing his beating heart from its cage? How can love feel as if someone was tearing apart the very fabric of his soul?

They lied. All of them lied to his face.

He doesn’t love me. 

He could never love me. 

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