Sehun walked with Namjoo down the block where it got busier with the whizz of traffic and bumbling pedestrians. The scent of coffee beans immediately hit his nose and he heard jazz music from somewhere. He in a breath of fresh air stinging his senses awake. Strangely the world seemed brighter, the sun beaming harder. The warmth trickled down his back.

“Let’s eat here.” Namjoo pointed to a chicken restaurant.

A peculiar variety of other specialties was listed on the menu when they found a table. Eagerness churned through him. Whoever imagined having lunch together today? He was ecstatic.

“You’re paying, right?” Namjoo asked focused on the menu. “I’m broke, remember?”

“Yes, sure.” He replied. She giggled in reply. His eyes darted toward the top of the menu, but she wasn’t even looking at him. The high burst through him anyway.

Sehun didn’t mind. He could always pay for her meals.

Once their food arrived, Namjoo asked what he most feared, “What were you looking for in the library?”

Biting into her chicken sandwich her eyes settled on him curiously. Sehun felt like choking.

“Nothing.” He lied. “Just I’ve never been to the library before. Well, I mean, I have. Of course. I just meant, you know, here. In the city.”

He was burning up neck down. Confident he sounded like an idiot. It was difficult to think straight being cornered like this. Did she really have to know?

Coyly grinning like she already knew what was up, Namjoo took another big bite of her sandwich saying nothing else. His gaze hovered between her and the food the rest of the time. He did end up paying.

“So,” Namjoo started on the way back to the library, “you have the rest of the day off. What are you going to do?”

“Sleep. Watch TV or something.”

“That’s boring.” Namjoo commented.

He laughed awkwardly. “Well, there isn’t much to do. In the blink of an eye tomorrow will already be here.”

And he’d just be another weirdo.

“I suppose so.”

“Then,” he disappointedly said when they arrived, “have a good day at work.”

“I will.” Namjoo cheerfully said. Five steps up the staircase and she whirled around. “Don’t go to sleep. The thought of it makes me jealous.”

He chuckled gleefully. Hurrying the rest of the way up she darted inside the huge building. Feeling empty Sehun sighed, staring at the brilliant glass doors, where on the other side she’d forget about him as the day progressed. Lunch had gone by too fast. He wasn’t used to these things spurring through him again.

His last relationship had lasted a year and a half. Some time ago. Felt so faraway before the dull period in prison. But now he felt almost human again. Back then it had been so easy for him to decide he liked a girl, ask her out, where he’d like his first date. Because he had been younger, he could freely be romantic.

Older now many more compositions came into question. And Namjoo wasn’t just a single woman getting her car fixed in his shop. Up for any kind of conversation. She came in tow with issues. She wasn’t just a woman worried about bills, her weight, her appearance, fashion, or men.

Sehun still didn’t know if she was just yanking him by the collar or if she felt anything, something for him. Have one percent of feelings for him. At all.

As long as she didn’t think about Jineol or ever going back to him. Remembering how deep her stubborn love for Jineol had been made him superbly uncomfortable.

Impulsively running up the steps he burst into the library. Several people stared surprised. Ignoring them he quickly went around searching for Namjoo. Did she go up to the second floor? Sehun swerved in that direction and halted when a door down his left opened. Namjoo stepped out adjusting her lanyard around her neck, speaking in a hushed voice with another woman.

Huffing and puffing his gait never slowing he determinedly went to her. “Namjoo!”

She jerked surprised. Eyes rounding, she breathed, “Oh…Sehun. I thought you left.”

The lady excused herself leaving them. “I forgot something.” Searching around he asked, “Do you have a pen?”

“What?”

“A pen.” He repeated.

Frowning Namjoo returned into the room she just came from and handed him a standard blue pen. Darn, he should’ve also asked for paper.

“Give me your hand.” He didn’t wait a beat. Taking her hand, he turned her palm toward him and started scribbling. “That’s my number.” Namjoo raised her brows, his heart raced. “Call me sometime.”

Placing the pen into her palm he turned to run away. He was so embarrassed, but he just had to. He didn’t know anymore how to approach Namjoo coolly like he had it all together; come off as a confident man. No longer her driver or of need to her, Sehun didn’t know how to get into her space. To be someone and not just a part of her past.

Would she get it? Would she know?

⅏⅏⅏⅏⅏

Holding her hand up Namjoo traced a finger over each digit. It was a little past nine and she was laying in bed. Been kept busy the entire day at work she couldn’t really ponder over Sehun’s bold antic. He had caught her off guard.

A lopsided smile climbed over her face. In a funny way she was delighted. Sehun was funny. She just couldn’t describe him. He was so peculiar now and not the offish driver he’d been with her.

Peering at the quiet phone sitting beside her Namjoo guessed why not. Tomorrow the numbers would wash away. She had been careful earlier not to wash it off while showering or during the day when she washed her hands.

Inputting the number into her phone she clicked a button to save it. Bringing Sehun’s name back onto her screen her finger hesitated over the call button. It was late. Tomorrow would be another work day. If she was preparing to sleep that meant he would, too.

A text would do. Typing in It’s me she hit send. Dropping the phone beside her she blew out a breath and shut her eyes. A second past and her phone beeped an incoming message. Already? Picking up her phone she swiped the screen to unlock it. She read Hi. I thought you were sleeping.

Giggling amused she sent Then goodnight. Sehun’s reply was immediate: Goodnight to you too.

Putting her phone down, Namjoo to her side and buried the half of her face into her pillow.

There was a message for her when she woke up in the morning. Namjoo didn’t see it until she washed up, had breakfast, changed, and grabbed her purse and phone on the way out. Sehun had sent it at seven sharp: Morning :)

A laugh bubbled through her as she raced down the stairs to catch the bus. Strangely feeling livelier. Halfway through the day her phone chirped at her desk. Picking it up Namjoo was surprised it wasn’t from Sehun. Her expression turned grim. Flipping the phone down Namjoo dropped her face into her palms, sighing heavily.

At the end of the day she didn’t head in the direction of the bus. Stepping toward the edge of the curb she waited for a taxi to pull over. The drive was long and made her irritant, restless. As minutes stretched, she resorted to nail biting. Staring out the window gloom washed over her. She couldn’t focus on the landscaping, the outside world. Not until the cab arrived at her destination and she climbed out of the car.

“I’m broke, you pay the bill.” Namjoo stiffly said. Approaching a very familiar café she pulled the heavy door open. Digging his wallet out Jineol stepped off the curb to hand a wad of cash to the cab without inquiring the bill.

Impatiently crossing her arms, she tucked her bag against her belly. She’d sat without waiting for him. A window seat would be better than the quiet back. Namjoo preferred to look away from him, focus her attention on traffic, passing people.

“Do you want something to drink?” Jineol sighed airily as he sat. “You like coffee.”

“No.” Namjoo blatantly stated.

Turning to the waiter approaching, Jineol made the order. “Two coffees, please.”

Taking the unopened leather menus, the casually dressed waiter disappeared. Clearing his throat, Jineol adjusted himself in the chair too uncomfortable for him. He seemed to be enveloping the chair rather than the chair supporting him. From the time they started dating he’d really gained weight. Throughout the years she hadn’t really noticed. Suppose love really did make a person full, but that deed hadn’t been imposed by her.

“I’m glad you came.” Jineol started.

He dared smile charmingly bringing out the minimal creases around his eyes. Recently he had trimmed his hair shorter. A new image for a new start? Namjoo merely breathed a mhhmm that didn’t mean much. Like she was ing bored.

Craning his neck to meaningfully look around, he reminisced, “We used to come here for coffee and cake when we were younger. Remember?”

Namjoo flatly stared at him. “I already deposited the money. What do you want?”

He laughed with discomfort. “Why do you think that’s all I’m here for?”

“Oh…so that’s not what you’re here for?” The contrite was clear in her tone.

“I have to have a reason to sit and talk with you?” he asked pitifully. He even looked it.

“I am a very busy woman.” Namjoo stoically informed. “If it’s not important…”

She began to rise, but the waiter timely arrived with their coffee forcing her to stay seated; the employee’s arm blocking her from making her exit.

“The coffee’s here.” Jineol obviously stated. “Do you need creamer? You don’t like it black.”

“In fact, I can drink it black.” Grabbing the oval mug, Namjoo took a sip. The bitterness made her want to gag, but she kept a straight face. Jineol laughed at her clearly enjoying himself. A nerve in her neck constricted.

“Here.” Grabbing the creamer at the side he poured a fair amount into her cup. “It should taste better.”

Namjoo gave him a terse frown. “What do you want?”

“You must be having a hard time,” Jineol suddenly spoke gently. His voice was so soothing like melted chocolate on her tongue. “If you need anything, I’m willing to help.”

Clicking her tongue, she turned away appalled. So very appalled. Looking at him she spat, “Don’t need it.”

“Don’t you want to come home?” Her blood surged maddeningly. Namjoo could have toppled the table. He was really winding her up like a clown in a box. Once the momentum went far enough, she’d spring up to hit him.

Her hand seriously shook with rage as she grasped her purse. Shoveling her chair back loudly she rose and stomped past him. Jineol was fast on her tail. Namjoo quickened her gait down the sidewalk, her feelings and thoughts tumbling wildly inside her. She was going to go berserk.

A grip tightened around her arm. Namjoo wasted no time swinging around, slamming her purse into the side of Jineol’s face. A feral yelp shot from her lips heatedly. Heaving madly. Tugging her arm out of his grasp vehemently Namjoo glared at him.

“Stay away from me, Jineol. We are over.” Namjoo hissed. Without a beat she swiveled around and stalked off, jamming her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“I’m sorry!” Jineol yelled. Several passersby gawked at her curiously. “Namjoo, I’m sorry! Please!”

Ignoring him, Namjoo continued until she felt she was far enough. It took her a way home. Rerouting from one bus to another until she arrived in her neighborhood. Shadows pierced the dim evening sky. Earlier voices crowding the streets grew quieter. By then she felt less energetic. Less angry. More bewildered. Amid the confusion of Jineol’s words, Namjoo was surprisingly not sad. She was honestly a bit curious, but knew better than to go back and pry.

All those years with Jineol and she knew him. Not worth it. Jineol had paid for her surgery, her therapy, her meds at first. All she had received was his money. Money that could be replaced at any interval. One thing important gone the next second, like the devotion he first gave her. The minimal things Sehun had done for her during his time as her driver did not cost money. Very unusually his actions had meant more than a mere touch of consolation from Jineol.

Pausing under a street lamp Namjoo peered at her palm. The numbers were gone. Like the money Jineol used on her. Superficially stained in her memory. But she still remembered Sehun holding her hand, gently wielding the pen as he wrote on her palm. The memory of it weighed on her skin.

Her arms hung limply at her sides as she shuffled home. Burnt out from exhaustion she wanted a long sleep. Reaching the sight of the gate, she stuffed a hand into her purse for the key. The keys jingled as she reached for the bolt. Her instinct fluttered. When she lifted her head, it wasn’t plain air grazing past. Sehun was leaning against the wall looking at her.

Maybe she was surprised this time.

Instinctively breathing a smile, Namjoo glanced to the side. She hadn’t noticed him at all. Strangely she felt like laughing. Feeling tickled by some unexplained emotion.

“I didn’t see you.” Namjoo dropped her hands from the gate.

“I tried calling you.” He told. His eyes floated away from her. Namjoo followed them.

“Sorry, I turned my phone off.” In case Jineol tried calling her. She didn’t want to see his name flashing on her screen and become more irritable than necessary. She feared what her impulses might make her do if she got too wrung up over Jineol.

She felt bad that Sehun had been waiting. If he had texted, she hadn’t seen it. Honestly, it was fun. For a long time now, she hadn’t sent texts.

Touching his lower arm, she asked, “Do you want to go for a walk?”

⅏⅏⅏⅏⅏

Browsing the drinks inside the cooler Sehun peered behind him to see Namjoo sidestepping down the snack aisle, where at the back wall a variety of beer were on display. Randomly grabbing two bottles of juice he went over.

“I’m done.” Putting a hand on her shoulder he pivoted her away from the drinks to the front counter.

They had walked several blocks away from her neighborhood traveling blindly until they spotted a convenience store. Outside now they started the same path back. Less traffic crossed the road here. Duplexes flanked them. Several cars were parked off to the side for the night. It was barren, which he was thankful for.

Namjoo wasn’t at the bus stop after work. He’d gone to the restaurant to find her. She wasn’t there either. He’d texted her after work, wondering if she wanted to do something. Grab a movie? Take a walk at the park, you know, just to enjoy the last of the good weather before it got chilly. It didn’t have to be like a date, which, of course, wouldn’t be. At all.

He just wanted to see her a bit before the weekend. In case she had plans and he wasn’t a part of it. Even despite that, he would find something to occupy his time while waiting for Monday to come around.

Namjoo never answered the texts or the one phone call that took all his guts and two hours of pondering to make. It had taken so much courage. His heart had thumped so hard inside his chest while listening to the phone ring only to be sent to voicemail. He had been so disappointed.

A bag rustled against his side as it hung off his elbow. They could snack he thought, but Namjoo seemed occupied. Just clutching the bottle of juice he’d bought her.

“Did something happen?” he worried. “I’m here to talk, if you want.”

Namjoo peeked up at him, hesitant. “I met Jineol today.”

He immediately stopped walking and shifted toward her. “What?” There was no basis to, but he felt betrayed. Fired up all of a sudden, he scolded, “Why?! Do you still think about him? You should know better after everything he made you go through! And you still see him?! I can’t believe you!”

Despite his outburst, Namjoo appeared unbothered. It really, really upset him. She was still thinking about him. Sehun thought she had ended it for good… He felt crushed.

Lowering her gaze like she was embarrassed, Namjoo quietly said, “I thought he wanted to talk about money.”

Sehun blinked, flustered. Confused, disbelieving. “What?”

Raising her head to meet his eyes, she spoke louder, “This is the first time I’ve seen him and I don’t talk with him, ok? I thought he wanted to talk about the debt I’m paying him, but…”

It was pure relief that propelled him to act impulsively this time. Cutting off her explanation with a quick peck. It didn’t matter. He didn’t care. Just don’t see Jineol. Don’t ever see him again.

Blushing madly, he stuttered, “S…sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Kiss me?”

The heat rose much quicker. He was too embarrassed. He didn’t know what to say to make it ok.

“Sehun,” she asked, “do you like me?”

He couldn’t meet her eyes but he also wanted to meet her eyes. Namjoo stared up at him. She didn’t look stricken. Not in the way that she would start lecturing him next like she used to snap easily.

His heart hammered. He couldn’t say it. He wasn’t brave enough. What if she rejected him?

“Why don’t you just say it?” He felt the pressure of her hand burrow into his shoulder as she leaned up to lightly brush her lips against the corner of his mouth. Landing back on her soles, she said, “You’re funny.”

Speechless, he struggled for the right words to say. Combing his hand up her cheek where his fingers brushed into her hair, he decided it was best to just kiss her.

***Jineol was superficial with her, but Sehun's actions stayed with her. As my friend always says "Money comes and goes, but friends and family don't"