Heechul was leaning against the white wall when Leeteuk and Kangin came running up to him frantic with worry. He took a deep breathe as they approached closer, his mind void of anything to say. 

"Heechul, we were just on our way. What happened?" Kangin asked trying to peek in through the door and frowned  when he saw Donghae's sleeping figure on the hospital bed. He looked at Heechul and frowned even further when the latter simply shrugged his shoulders. 

"I don't know," he honestly said. "Hankyung and I got there and then...he was crying - a lot. He cried until he passed out."

"Passed out?" Leeteuk repeated worriedly. "Why did he pass out? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine, that idiot. I spoke to his doctor. He said he's just severely dehydrated." Heechul looked inside the room before continuing with an annoyed grumble. "He said that Donghae's stomach was nearly empty and the severe distress triggered hypoxia. The IV drip should help and he'll be fine in a couple of hours."

Leeteuk and Kangin stayed silent as they both debated whether or not they should go inside now or wait for Donghae to wake up first. Leeteuk noticed, however, Heechul's strange body language. His body was rigid and his lips was pursed in an almost tightlipped contempt. He didn't understand why or what could possibly have upset him this much.

"Heechul, what's wrong?"

The latter just gave him a look and without saying another word walked away from the two of them. Leeteuk looked helplessly at Kangin who merely nodded his head and told him to go follow after Heechul. Giving him a grateful smile, Leeteuk ran after Heechul who had used the emergency exit staircase rather than the elevator to go down his floor. It was a good thing that Leeteuk was used to Heechul's walkout routine and  quickly caught up with him after just one floor. 

"Heechul!" Leeteuk called and grabbed his arm to force the latter to face him. His eyes widened and did a silent gasp when he saw tears falling down his face. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

Heechul sniffed and grabbed his arm away from Leeteuk's hold as he aggresively wiped his tears. He angrily looked away from Leeteuk but his tears continued to flow down his eyes which was frustrating him more that he couldn't stop himself from further sobbing. It was such a weak move on his part and he couldn't afford to be weak. Not when Donghae was the one lying on a hospital bed practically lifeless. 

"Heechul," Leeteuk called his name, softer this time, as he gently held his upper arm. "Stop holding it in." Leeteuk's voice sounded like a whisper to him but he still heard it loud and clear. "You don't have to be strong all the time. Just let it out." 

His entire body shook in Leeteuk's hold before he completely lost all self-constraint and broke down. His tears flowing nonstop as he used Leeteuk's shoulder to muffle his cries. Everything felt broken. Nothing felt the same anymore. The harder he tries to help the more he feels himself crumble. It was too much. 

Leeteuk didn't say anything and just let Heechul cry in his arms. Not at all caring that his voice was echoing in the hallway or that someone from whatever floor they were on could hear him. He was just relieved that Heechul was finally letting out everything he's been holding inside. The latter hasn't cried since the day they buried Hyukjae and always looked alright but he would catch him; during those rare moments where Leeteuk would pass by the cafeteria or his office and Heechul thinks no one is around looking at him, he would see Heechul looking lost and near destitute. It was hard not to say anything but he knows it would hurt Heechul more if he were to confront him about it. 

Kangin wasn't sure what to do after he watched Heechul and Leeteuk disappear from down the hallway. Looking back inside Donghae's room, he carefully and quietly entered his room. It felt strange entering Donghae's room when it shouldn't be. Kangin has entered many rooms before, but even the times when he was the bearer of bad news couldn't compare to the edge he was feeling when he saw Donghae's lifeless-like form. He flashbacked to the time when they had to cover up Hyukjae's body after dying in the operating room...Kangin's immediate instinct was to shut his eyes and willed the images away. 

No. He couldn't think that way about Donghae. 

"H-Hyung?..." Donghae's weak voice snapped Kangin back to reality. He immediately walked up by Donghae's side and placed a gentle hand over his head. 

"Hey, Donghae-ah. How are you feeling?"

Donghae groaned and twisted his head a little trying to find a comfortable spot where he was laying down. Looking around the room, he realized that he was in the hospital and couldn't help the defeated sigh of exasperation that came out of him. Kangin chuckled lightly already knowing what's going on in Donghae's mind. He grabbed the small pitcher next to Donghae's bed and poured him a cup of water. 

"Here, drink something," he said, handing the cup of water to Donghae. "You look like crap, Donghae."

"Thanks." Donghae muttered after taking a sip of water. "I feel like it."

Hearing that comment, Kangin went back to pursing his lips together to stop himself from saying anything further. A short silence fell between the two of them with Kangin closely observing Donghae and the latter staring up at the ceiling. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence but neither was it pleasant. It seems to be the new norm for them. 

"It hurts," Donghae muttered suddenly. His voice low that Kangin barely heard him. The latter leaned in closer and asked Donghae to repeat what he said one more time and this time, Donghae said it louder and just a little bit shakier. "I-It still hurts, hyung."

Even though Kangin had a pretty good idea what Donghae was referring to, he still couldn't help but ask. "What hurts, Donghae? Tell me."

Donghae tried. He really did, but every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the image of Hyukjae. His mind repeated the scene at the cemetery over and over again. That man...he looked a lot like Hyukjae. The way his hand felt against his was just like how it was when he used to hold Hyukjae's hand. Donghae couldn't explain it but he knows. He just knows that that was Hyukjae...but he also knows that Hyukjae would never run away from him like that. The latter would never push him away like that. Ever. 

Confused and completely overwhelmed by his own emotions, Donghae wasn't able to control the sob that came out of him, and even though Kangin already half-expected that Donghae would end up crying, it still didn't stop his own heart from aching along with the latter. 

"I-I feel like I'm going crazy, Hyung," Donghae confessed honestly, his tears soaking his face. "I just-...I don't know what to do. I don't know how to live without him." Donghae's nose was red and he was sniffling at every other word that he barely made any sense. By the end of his sentence, he was basically gasping for air at how hard he was sobbing but he didn't care. It all hurt just the same. 

Kangin felt himself tear up as well seeing how hard Donghae was struggling to keep himself afloat and he wished that he had the answer. He wished that he knew how to take his pain away or how to make things better for him but he didn't. Unfortunately, the only thing that could heal Donghae's pain was time. A really long, agonizing one at that and he wasn't sure how much more of it Donghae could endure. 

Donghae clutched at his chest and closed his eyes tight which only caused his tears to fall faster. Kangin took that opportunity to look up at the ceiling and take in deep breathes to try and stop his own tears from falling. He wasn't so sure that once he opens that door that he would be able to stop. 

"How...How do I make it stop, Hyung? Tell me, please..." Donghae's voice cracked from crying that it made him look more