The End of the End

Stay With Me
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Hyukjae took a deep breath as he looked at each letter he'd written in front of him. There was one for each of his loved ones. One for Heechul, Leeteuk, Kangin, Hankyung, Shindong, and Kyuhyun. He grabbed the last sheet of blank paper in front of him and very carefully wrote the name of the last person he needed to give the letter to. 

To My Love Lee Donghae,

Hyukjae paused and took a few seconds to stare at the name he'd written. His fingers tracing the lines that made up Donghae's name andhe felt his heart ache at the next words he was about to write. He wiped the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes and started his letter. Hyukjae made up his mind and decided to use his second chance to give everybody he loves a proper closure. 

His last goodbye. 

Hyukjae sniffled as he leaned forward and readied himself to write the words that he wished he could say to Donghae in person. 

Hi Meonghcheong-ah...my Donghae.

I hope you read this letter and know that I'm writing this to you out of all the love I could ever have given you.
I'm sorry I had to leave you by yourself so suddenly but you know, you're never really alone, right?
Please don't push Heechul hyung away or anyone else. They're all there for you because of me. They know I wouldn't want you to be lonely without me so keep them close, okay? As long as you're next to them, I'll always know you're safe and I won't have to worry about you so much.

Hyukjae paused and read over what he wrote again. The memory of Heechul and Donghae constantly fighting after they buried him was still fresh in his mind. The image of Donghae crying by himself while crying for him still pained him so much and he could only hope that Donghae wouldn't have to go through that anymore once he's gone. Donghae deserves to be happy. The world needs his smile and laughter because it's one of the most beautiful things to ever exist. 

I love you so much, Lee Donghae. You can't even imagine how in love I am with you.

I love your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your stupid jokes, even your constant need to hug me even though we've practically been with each other 24/7 for 15 years. I love that you can always show me how much you love me even when I can't always reciprocate it. I love your voice even when you're not even singing and just screaming at the top of your lungs. I love how you can always find something fun in the most mundane of things and how you always think of others first before yourself. I don't think I've ever told you this, but I think you might have been my guardian angel. 

I'm sorry I wish this letter was longer because there's so much I want to say to you but it really all just boils down to one thing. 

Lee Donghae, I love you. I will always love you. Forever. 

Hyukjae's tears started to drop as he wrote the last line. His tears flowing down his nose towards the paper. A drop of tear stained the bottom of the paper and Hyukjae immediately wiped his face as to not ruin it any further. 

Never forget that, okay? It's okay for you to be happy without me, Hae. I want you to. 

Yours Always
- Hyukjae

Hyukjae took a deep breathe and finished his letter quickly. He looked at the calendar and his heart constricted as he looked at the countdown. Eight more days he had left before his days on earth would end. He gazed back on his letter for Donghae and smiled bitterly at it before folding it neatly and inserting inside the envelope. Adding it on the pile of letters he'd previously written, he held each one with a heavy weight on his heart. 

"Hyuk?" Yesung opened Hyukjae's door and peered his head in slowly. "Dinner's ready."

Hyukjae looked up from his letters and gave him a small smile. "Okay, Hyung. I'll be right out."

However, instead of leaving, Yesung opened the door wider and walked inside his room, his eyes focused on the different colored envelopes on Hyukjae's bed. 

"Did you finish it all already?" 

Hyukjae followed Yesung's line of sight and nodded. "Yeah, I just finished."

Yesung looked conflicted and looked at Hyukjae one more time. "Are you sure you don't want to keep trying?"

"I'm sure, Hyung." Hyukjae put all the envelopes into one pile and hid them inside his bedside drawer. "This is for the best."

"But Hyuk-"

"Please don't make me change my mind," Hyukjae begged, his voice soft and wavering as he kept his hand on the closed drawer. "I don't think I'd have the strength to fight against you, Yesung hyung so please...please support me on this."

Yesung was quiet for a few seconds before he let out a small exhale of resignation. The pained and conflicted expression on Hyukjae's face was enough to sway him and give his unwavering support to the latter. He walked closer to him and pulled Hyukjae in for a hug. If this was all he needed then he was more than happy to give it to him. 

"Alright. I got it." He said then squeezed Hyukjae's shoulders to show him that he's going to support him 100% of the way. Hyukjae immediately got the message and clung onto Yesung's shirt, his tears already making small stains on the hem of Yesung's shirt. His body shook in Yesung's arms and he let the other hold him tonight. The ache he was feeling inside lessened as he continued to silentyly cry out his pain against the other's stomach; completely unaware of the tear or two that dropped from Yesung's eyes. 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Donghae brought the box he found at home with him at work, He continued to stare at it curious as to where it came from and why he couldn't remember ever having bought said item but somehow, there's a bugging feeling in him that he should keep it. Donghae was so lost in his thought that he didn't see when Heechul had walked in his office. 

"What are you doing?"

Donghae jumped at the sudden voice and looked up. "Oh. Heechul hyung...what are you doing here?"

"I was gonna ask if you want to have lunch with me today," he said but then his eyes fell on the small box in Donghae's hands. "What is that?" 

Donghae looked at what he was pointing and immediately hid it under his desk. "Nothing." When Heechul raised a questioning brow at him, Donghae stood up from behind his desk to distract him and pulled him along out his office. "Let's go have lunch. What did you have in mind?"

"Actually, I need to stop by Haru and OneDay cafe first."

"Why?"

"Hankyung asked me to see if Eunhyuk was there." Heechul told him and took notice of how Donghae stiffened at the mention of the latter's name. "Apparently he hasn't been in the studio for quite some time."

"Oh."

"He also told me to ask what happened between you two."

Donghae glanced at him confused as he pressed the down button of the elevator. "What do you mean?"

"He said Eunhyuk stopped showing up after that drunken night with you."

"With me?" Donghae looked at Heechul completely surprised. Just then, the elevator opened and Heechul had to drag Donghae in with him so the other wouldn't stay like a statue in the middle of the hall. He pressed the floor to the lobby before properly looking back at Donghae. "What are you talking about, Hyung? Hyukjae wasn't with me that night."

"I didn't say Hyukjae. I said Eunhyuk."

Donghae froze and looked away while clearing his throat. "Right. That's-That's what I said. Eunhyuk."

Heechul just stared at him quietly until they reached the lobby. They both stepped out of the lobby without saying anything to each other and walked towards the coffee shop. Donghae's mind was busy trying to reel in the events of that night but no matter how hard he thinks the last thing he remembers was Doojun asking him out for a drink and then waking up in his sofa at home. Strangely enough, he doesn't even remember where they ended up getting a drink that night. 

Did Eunhyuk give him that box? Is that why he doesn't remember? But...why would he gift him a watch? That doesn't even make sense, unless...did he know that his birthday was coming up? How could he know that though since everyone around him knows he stopped celebrating his birthday four years ago. Other than his secretary, no one in the office even knows his birthday so how could Eunhyuk know about it?

"Donghae!" Heechul yelled and pulled him away from walking straight into a pole. "What's going on with you!? You were about to walk straight into that post!" Heechul scolded while Donghae just looked completely disoriented. 

"S-Sorry, Hyung." He muttered while massaging his head. "I'm just a little out of it, I guess."

"Donghae," he carefully placed a hand on his back and said, "If something's bothering you, you know you could tell me, right?"

"I know, Hyung, but really, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Donghae assured him with a smile and started walking again towards Yesung's cafe. Heechul could only watch after him quietly, not knowing what else to say. Even though Donghae has gotten better at talking to him about certain things, he's still never really opened up about the important things. 

Donghae never talks about Hyukjae unless he's either provoked or drunk. Whenever someone would bring up the topic of him dating again, the look of distaste and discomfort is so apparent that they just stopped bringing it up altogether. It was very hard to get through to him so they settled with what Donghae was comfortable with, and if that involved with him pretending that he doesn't see Donghae drowning himself, well...that's just what he'd have to do. The best he could do is to make sure that he's by his side ready to rescue him at a moment's notice. 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Hyukjae carefully entered the dance studio and looked around to make

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dbsj0001
I was going to put "Stay with Me" as the finale song *for obvious reasons LoL* but "Somebody New" seemed more fitting.
I hope you liked the story ^_^ Thank you! <3

Comments

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purple_88 #1
Just a foreword but already feel so angsty. I love it!!
hyukflavor
#2
Eh?? I suscribe it alr... but i don't think that I read it already. Okay then, i might read it asap
fullofwish
1548 streak #3
Chapter 25: If it weren't for that deus ex machina of the time control watch, I thought we were all in for one more round of angst with everyone finding the letters and going through it again before Donghae somehow stopped Hyukjae from giving up and leaving again. Glad you showed the characters (and us readers) mercy though, author-nim. Maybe, after turning back the clock this will be the first lifetime through all their fated reincarnations where they actually get to spend most of it together? Hopefully it changed the course of their future Iives too, to they won't be such tragic star-crossed lovers. A harrowing but romantic story, thanks for sharing! ♡
Nishinoya_yuu #4
Chapter 26: I LOVE IT <3 EVERY PART OF ITTTT. I have been a fan of your stories and I dont think you remember when I was so excited that I found you on twitter! I just want to say that you did a great job! This is @heemiyah btw hehe.
EunHaeLove42 #5
Chapter 25: So loved this story. The love Hae and Hyuk had was unreal. I'm so happy u wrote it. Thanks for sharing! ❤
ElloryQueen
#6
Chapter 26: I honestly didn't know if I was going to get through this as the angst was really getting to me, but thankfully there was a happy ending. It wasn't where I thought the story would go, but I'm very satisfied with how it turned out. I wonder if Donghae will eventually forget about the four years like a bad dream?
Leox801 #7
Chapter 26: This was so so so well written omg!!! I teared up a lot in the middle my heart legit ached huhu especially the part where hyukjae projected his insecurities for that short while during their flashback :((,,, anyway omg they are so sweet and lovely together thank you so much for this story!! <33
gnp0109
#8
Chapter 26: Your video was so good DB!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
KyuHyukHae718
21 streak #9
Chapter 26: The fantasy mixed with real life reminds me of Goblin, one of favorite dramas, and I love you for that authornim! I knew no one could resist their love story, even celestials are as whipped as us fans. Also, thank you so much for the adorable video, I hope you find the inspiration you need 🥰
Nightprincess55 #10
Chapter 26: This was such a cute video. It fits the story very well. Good luck with the writer's block! I hope inspiration finds you easily. Thank you for all of your hard work!