Jiu strode the minimal amount of steps required to reach the small, shared kitchen of the dorm. Thinking ahead, she made sure to stand directly in the doorway. She was prepping for a potential bolting from a certain on-edge woman. Nothing was going to get solved if Jiu wasn’t able to properly get Sua to sit and have a heart-to-heart conversation about what she could only assume from experience, were extremely stressful thoughts.

She noticed Sua had already stopped eating and was storing her leftovers as quickly as possible. Before Jiu could utter a single word, Sua was already turned and facing her, eyes wild and nervous, unlike anything the eldest woman had never seen before. She opened to speak, but the sound of the younger girls directly in the other room stopped her.

“The dorm is not the place to have a serious conversation right now. If anyone else walks in on this conversation, Sua is almost certain to clam up and change subjects immediately. I need to get her out of the building if I’m ever going to get her to have a true discussion with me about whatever is weighing on her mind.”

Jiu moved until she was directly in front of Sua. She held her hand in front of her own face, only her pinky sticking up while giving the younger woman a soft smile. It was their unspoken sign of “trust me.” Sua nodded, visibly relaxing after seeing the familiar hand motion, allowing Jiu to gently wrap her fingers around Sua’s small wrist. She promptly directed them out of the kitchen, through the living room and to the front door.

“I think I ate a little too much at dinner, so I’m going down the street to grab some tea with Sua. Make sure to take care of Siyeon while we’re gone, okay?” Jiu smiled warmly at her members while Sua quickly slipped on a pair of shoes, and grabbed her coat hanging on the rack in the entrance way. The other girl’s nodded and vocalized their understanding simultaneously. Jiu gave them a cheesy thumbs up before exiting with Sua.

Neither of them said a word as they proceeded out of the building and down the sidewalk to one of their most frequented café’s.  They arrived after several minutes and entered the non-busy coffee shop. Both women ordered their individual drinks. Jiu ordered a couple of sweet treats to share with Sua, remembering that the unusually quiet woman didn’t have much to eat before.

They remained in silence while they waited for their orders to be made. Thankfully, the barista’s were quick, and Jiu tipped them generously before leading Sua to a quiet and recluse booth in the back of the café. The two women shed their jackets and settled into their seats, facing across from one another. The older woman took a sip of her piping hot tea, waiting for her friend to hopefully start the impending conversation.

Jiu stared unabashedly at Sua, noting her fidgeting fingers and inability to make eye contact. Jiu’s heart ached for the young dancer, knowing full well the emotions and internal turmoil that were roaring through her head right now. Well, that was only if her previous assumption was correct, and right now, it seemed like Sua would not be the first one to speak and confirm the problem.

Jiu, always being the brash one, spoke blatantly and from the heart.

“Sua, are you romantically in love with Siyeon?” 

The younger woman was thankful she hadn’t started drinking her tea yet; else it would have ended up all over the table. She stuttered profusely, extremely caught off guard by a question she never believed she be faced with. She raised her head, eyes finally meeting with her eldest friend. The look of soft understanding in Jiu’s eyes made Sua want to breakdown in a fit of tears, but the public setting prevented her from doing so at the moment. She hung her head in defeat instead, knowing any attempt at denial would be easily seen through. Instead, she wrapped her shaking hands around the warm cup in front of her, willing herself to ask the question that always plagued the back of her mind.

“Would you hate me for it?” Her voice was weak, strained, and on the verge of cracking from anguish, but Jiu heard her words loud and clear.

In an instant the older woman was on the other side of the booth, enveloping Sua in a warm and tight embrace.

“How could you ever think that, Sua? I could never hate you. It does not matter who you love, what you do in life or where you go; I will always be on your side. You are my family and I love everything you do, and everything you are. Please never think the matters of your heart are something to despise. All I want in life for you, for all the other members, is to be the happiest you can be. “

Sua wrapped her arms firmly around Jiu, burying her face into her chest and releasing the well of tears that had been threatening to fall all day. Jiu gently her hair and rubbed her back, letting the emotionally exhausted women get it all out of her system. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Jiu was aware that Sua must have been carrying the weight of her feelings alone for a long time now from how fierce her reaction was. She hadn’t seen her cry that much since their time in limbo before re-debuting.

The shorter dancer finally pulled away, still sniffling as she reached for several tissues from the table. She blew her nose several times. Jiu laughing lightly from the aggressive way the younger woman cleared her nose. Sua lightly slapped Jiu’s arm in retort, embarrassed from how loud she must have been. She was extremely thankful that there were no other’s around to witness the previous events. They separated and sat down across from each other once more.

“Feeling better?” Jiu asked kindly, gently sliding the plate of sweets closer to Sua’s side of the table.

The puffy eyed woman nodded her head, grabbing a delicious pastry and giving Jiu a relaxed and unforced smile.

“So much better. Thank you Jiu, for all the kind and comforting words you provided me. And for letting me cry for quite a long time. I’m a little embarrassed, but I admit that I really needed to let that out. I feel like some of the weight is finally lifting from my shoulders. It was starting to get suffocating.” Sua quickly devoured her first pastry and hastily grabbed another, suddenly feeling famished.

Jiu rested her chin in the palm of her hand, content to see one of her best friend’s finally starting to feel and act normal again. Sua offered the plate back to Jiu, her cheeks stuffed full, resembling something of a chipmunk. The older woman caught a chuckle in . She smiled softly, shaking her head gently and pushing the plate back to Sua. She was truly still very full from her earlier dinner out.

The smaller woman quickly finished her snacks, remembering she hadn’t really eaten that much today. Her small hands cupped her cooling tea. She brought the warm mug up to her lips and took several generous sips of the comforting liquid. Finally feeling the buzzing of thoughts in her head clear up, she was struck with an important inquiry.

“Say, Jiu, how did you know I was… uh, interested in Siyeon anyway?” Sua danced around the word “love”, unable to truly entertain the idea out loud just yet.

Jiu gave her a sheepish look, scratching the back of her head as she prepared herself for her own confession of the night.

“Let’s just say I was noticing similarities between you currently and myself several months ago.”

A puzzled lock adorned Sua’s face before she gasped in surprise.

“Wait, wait… are you in love with someone and didn’t tell me? Jiu, how could not tell me? Did you mention it to anyone else?”  Sua shot off several question, practically bouncing in her seat as she awaited Jiu’s responses as to why she hid something so big.

The older woman circled her index finger around the rim of her cup; her eyes fixated on the motion and adverted from Sua’s questioning gaze.

“Well…. You see….” Jiu huffed out a sigh of annoyance at her inability to speak honestly. If anyone was going to understand, it would be the woman right in front of her.

Sua reached her arm across the table, gently squeezing Jiu’s forearm reassuringly. Jiu took a deep breath, finally revealing a secret she had been harbouring for quite awhile.

“Yoohyeon and I are dating. I confessed to her two months ago, after almost a year of pinning. Apparently I was so blinded by my own fears, I couldn’t see that she was trying to hide her feelings for me for just as long. I was incredibly lucky and happy that she felt the same way, and we’ve kept it from the other member’s. Not that we’re fearful of rejection; we just need to find the right time and words.”

Jiu lifted her head to see a momentarily flabbergasted Sua. The younger woman’s mouth soon closed, and instead a warm glow and smile was projected to Jiu.

“I am so happy for the both of you. Makes me feel better that I’m not the only one having these feelings. And, also knowing that your feelings were reciprocated, it gives me some more confidence to try and confess myself. Even if things don’t work out the way I want them to, I know deep down in my heart, SIyeon and I will always be friends. Our souls are connected, I can feel that. Whether she loves me the same way or not, with time, I’m sure we can retain our bond, regardless of the outcome.”

The two kindred spirits stood up from their booth, meeting in the middle for an affectionate and long hug. Both women felt a sense of relief at getting such troubling thoughts and secrets off their chest. Having accepting responses from each other was also better than they could have imagined. They may have met because of their careers, but underneath it all, they were family. No matter the day, month, year or season, they would always be there for one another. They took a more sips from their drinks, before heading out of the café and back home.

They linked arms and enjoyed the evening breeze, content in silence, but without pestering thoughts either. Sua made a promise to herself internally that she would lay her feelings on the table to Siyeon after she got better. She was nervous like nothing before, but she also knew she couldn’t carry on like this any longer. With Jiu’s support and similar experiences, she finally felt confident to attempt what she had only been dreaming about for years.

“Lee Siyeon, no matter how you take my confession, I will always stand by your side as a friend. I will continue to love you in whichever way you want me to. This family will never break apart; I won’t allow it.”

The walk back to the dorm felt endless and miniscule, all at the same time. They ascended the stairs and entered their dorm once more, moving to their separate rooms with one final hug for the night, and a tight, reassuring squeeze to the shoulder from Jiu.