The crisp evening air gently blew Sua’s brunette locks to and fro, as she lowered the window on her passenger side door. She inhaled the scents of the city; street food, flowers, and the sweet, yet bitter smell of coffee. An unusual mixture, but one she was fond of nonetheless. If she wasn’t in a vehicle with one of her mangers, Sua would have stuck her entire head out the window, somewhat akin to a dog, to truly revel in the delicate summer air of Seoul. She refrained however, knowing full well the disapproving look she would receive in return. If the empty seat next to her was filled with the prospect of a “howling with laughter” Siyeon, she would have done the action countless times, dirty looks be damned.

The exhausted dancer searched for her phone, suddenly reminded of the fact that she never messaged Siyeon back. A delicately manicured fingertip expertly maneuvered through several pages, until it was hovering over Siyeon’s contact profile. Instead of selecting the message option, she decided it would be faster to call her; letting her know she would be home soon. She wouldn’t admit it outwardly, but she missed the soothing sound of Siyeon’s voice, regardless of being hoarse.

She selected the call option and placed the phone up to her ear. Several unanswered rings sounded out before Siyeon’s voicemail message played. Sua listened briefly to the cheery and airy voice, ending the call before the ‘beep’ tone could ring loudly in her ear. The small woman let out a soft sigh, a tinge of worry nagging at her. She figured Siyeon would probably be sound asleep, but she also worried that her fever had gotten worse, making her unable to answer her phone. Sua’s leg began to unconsciously bounce up and down, an anxious habit that was rarely displayed. She peered at the small screen of the GPS located on the front dash of the van, curious as to their arrival time.

“Ten minutes huh? Not that long, but also not fast enough.”

She logged into the group’s Fancafe account, uploading previous selca’s she had taken the day before. Any attempt at distracting herself from worrying about her sick best friend, she would indulge in gladly. After occupying her time with picking the best images, adding filters, and thinking of a sweet message to caption the set of pictures with, the van had pulled up to the dorm. She was unbuckled, out of the vehicle, and already up the several steps before the mangers could even open their own doors. Despite her exhaustion from the day, she hiked up the several flights of stairs without much effort, the anxious feeling of Siyeon not picking up driving her forward without hesitation.

She barreled through the door, nearly tripping herself from the intensity of her movements. She hastily discarded her purse and jacket in the living room, immediately making her way to Siyeon’s shared room. She stopped in front of the colourfully decorated door, inhaling deeply, before gently turning the doorknob. She exhaled a deep sigh of relief, her view instantly filled with the image of Siyeon curled up in her comforter, a wolf stuffy cradled between both lithe arms. She quietly moved inside the room, taking quiet strides until she was perched on the side of the bed, next to the sleeping beauty.

Upon closer inspection, Sua’s heart melted when she realized the wolf plushy being hugged tightly by the sick woman, was one Sua had gifted her years ago. Siyeon had received an innumerous amount of stuffed toys, primarily wolves, over the course of their career. However, the one that Sua had given the raven-haired vocalist, right before they re-debuted as Dreamcatcher, had always seemed to find its way above the many others. It warmed Sua to no end that such a small item had such a large and memorable impact on the younger girl.

“I wish I could hold onto her the way she holds that wolf; make her feel safe, protected; like nothing bad in the world could ever lay a hand on her.”  Sua’s fingers gently ran over the tufted fur of the wolf’s head; the once soft hair now slightly rough to the touch from years of petting and cuddling.

“You take care of her for me right now little friend, until the day I can hopefully take your place.” The older woman’s features saddened, her usually repressed thoughts surfacing and invading her mind.

She was pulled out of her short-lived wallowing by the sound of Siyeon’s labored breaths however. She quickly placed the back of her hand on Siyeon’s forehead, feeling for a fever, only to jerk her hand back at the wet feeling; Siyeon was drenched in sweat. In Sua’s distracted state, she failed to notice the start of Siyeon having an intense nightmare. Sua’s first instinct is to leave and grab a towel to wet in cool water. Before Sua can even move, Siyeon wakes up, rising from the bed with a sharp intake of breath.

The feverish woman reaches out for Sua, burying her face into the younger girl’s chest as she begins to sob loudly. Sua immediately wraps her arms around the hysterical girl, rubbing her back in small, slow circles. She places her chin on Siyeon’s head, using her other hand to gently cradle the back of Siyeon’s head, holding her close, uttering soft words of comfort. Siyeon clings tightly to the fabric of Sua’s shirt, her knuckles white as snow from the intensity of her grip while she continues to cry.

She soon begins to calm down, her grip loosening slightly, but not completely letting go. Her sobs quiet and fade as she attempts to catch her breath. Realizing the gravity of her situation and her close proximity to the older woman, Siyeon moves to pull away. However, Sua does not relent, keeping her firmly wrapped in her arms.

“I-Im sorry unnie, that must have been surprising for you. I think I’m okay now.” Siyeon’s voice was still hoarse and rough, even more so now due to her crying. She could feel herself getting embarrassed from her prior outburst, and was thankful no one else was in the room.

“Where are the other girl’s? I’m sure one of them must have heard the scene I just made.” Siyeon was trying to joke, and make light of the situation. Truth was, she was still reeling from the intensity of her latest nightmare. Sua sensed that Siyeon was trying to put on a brave face for her; something which was unneeded. Sua pulled away from the younger girl, though only a minimal amount, just enough to be able to look her in the eyes. She moved one of her hands to delicately cup Siyeon’s cheek, guiding the sickly girl to meet her gaze. Her thumb softly grazed over porcelain skin, brushing away the remaining tears staining her face.

“The girl’s went for a celebratory dinner with one of the manager’s. They wanted to come back with me, but I knew it would upset you if they skipped dinner on your behalf… and you know you don’t have to apologize for what just happened. I’m always here for you, through good and bad times. Isn’t that what best friends are for?” The term left a bad taste in Sua’s mouth, for she craved much more than just that title, but she bit back her bitterness, instead offering Siyeon a tender smile. The recipient of said angelic smile suddenly felt the urge to kiss the lips responsible for such a gorgeous sight.

Siyeon wanted to blame her feelings on the fever, the nightmare or all of the above, but she knew deep down, with every fiber of her being and soul, that she was truly in love with her best friend. She had been harbouring her emotions for quite some time, always trying to play them off in her head. Recently she had become unable to push them down, internally acknowledging the reality of her strong feelings; she was romantically in love with one Kim Bora. Every inch of her skin burned with the desire to lean forward just a bit, just enough to finally feel the soft press of Sua’s lips. Fear of the older girl’s reaction held her frozen in her current position however. Siyeon’s eyes averted from those inviting, plump lips, and instead stared lower, focusing awkwardly at the large stain on Sua’s shirt.

“Ummm…” Siyeon hummed out, her face flaring hotter at the sight; her fever was nothing compared to her continuously escalating levels of embarrassment this evening it seemed. Perplexed, Sua followed down to where Siyeon’s gaze was fixated, promptly erupting into a loud chorus of laugher.

“Unnie, I am so sor-“ Siyeon was quickly cut off by Sua gently grabbing both sides of her face, and pulling her in for a forehead bump. Siyeon calmed instantly, the familiar display of affection reassuring her.

“It’s all good Singie; no one ever said a relationship was all sunshine and rainbows.” Sua chuckled out, rubbing her forehead once more against Siyeon’s, before detangling herself from the girl and moving off the bed to stand up. The term ‘relationship’ did not go over Siyeon’s head, but she didn’t linger on it too long, unwilling to get her hopes up or read into the choice of words too much.

“I’m going to grab you a damp towel and more medicine; I’ll be right back… Actually, before that, can I borrow one of your t-shirts? All of mine are in the dirty pile at the moment.”

”That’s a lie; I definitely have several lying around my room somewhere. I just want to feel closer to her, and I know she’ll never deny me such a simple request.”

“Of course unnie. I have a couple in that drawer there, pick whichever one you want.” Siyeon pointed to a dresser across the room, secretly giddy about the prospect of Sua wearing one of her shirts.

”It’s almost like we’re a couple; although friend’s share clothes all the time, so maybe not.” Siyeon pouted, her prior joy deflated at the realization that it was most definitely just a gesture done between friends.

Sua riffled through the drawer, finally settling on a baggier tee with a large wolf graphic on the front. She instantly recognized it as a shirt she gifted to Siyeon years ago. The print was cracking and faded, but it delighted Sua to see the shirt so worn out; it showed how much Siyeon wore it. Sua picked up the piece of fabric and spun around to show Siyeon.

“Is it okay if I wear this one? I haven’t seen you wear it in awhile, does it not fit anymore?” Sua questioned teasingly, draping the shirt in front of her upper body, clearly displaying that it definitely still fit them both. Siyeon’s response was unexpected, and Sua’s heart clenched at her words.

“I’m trying not to wear it too much, because of how much I’ve worn it out over the years. I treasure everything you give me unnie, and I want to keep the items from you as long as possible. So, that’s why I’m trying to take more care with it.” Siyeon fiddled with her hands in her lap, averting her gaze from Sua’s halfway through her explanation. Sua was speechless, a rare event, at the unexpected and heartwarming answer to her joking question.

“Y-you can wear it still if you’d like, I mean you did get it for me after all.” Siyeon continued on, a small coughing fit following her words. The sounds reminded Sua about her tasks at hand; procuring a damp cloth and more medicine for the sickly woman. Sua gave a quick smile and nod before setting the clean shirt on top of Siyeon’s dresser. Dexterous fingers were quick to latch onto the bottom hem of her ruined shirt, deftly lifting and removing the garment in one swift move, tossing it to the carpet beneath her.

Siyeon inhaled sharply, eyes unapologetically drinking in the work of art before her; a shirtless Kim Bora. Of course it’s not the first time she’s seen the toned woman in front of her without a shirt. It was pretty common for all the members to see one another in all states of undress during concerts, and costume changes. However, during those events, Siyeon was able to prepare herself, to steel her nerves, and pretend like viewing any inch of exposed skin from Sua wasn’t the most devastatingly beautiful scene Siyeon could ever bear witness to.

It almost felt like time slowed down, as Siyeon attempted to commit every line and curve to memory. Her heart skipped a beat, her pulse thrumming loud in her ears as her gaze lifted higher and landed on the simple, yet iest black bra adorning Sua’s upper torso. The woman being so blatantly stared at was not oblivious to Siyeon’s reaction of her stripping.

“Christ, if she stares any harder, she could burn this fabric right off. Either her eyes are lidded with intense desire or her fever is kicking into overdrive.”

Sua was internally hoping for the first option to be true, but she had never seen Siyeon wear such a look before. She decided to test the waters; what was the worst that could happen at this point? She turned to directly face Siyeon, placing her hands on her hips and popping her chest forward ever so slightly.

“Is there something wrong or are you just enjoying the view?”Sua’s words carried a cheeky tone, a Cheshire smile curling her lips as she raised her eyebrows questioningly. She focused intently on Siyeon, unwilling to miss any part of her reaction; this was for the sake of research after all.

The dancer’s words immediately snapped Siyeon from her trance; the reality of her obvious ogling hitting her like a ton of bricks. She stuttered profusely, attempting to string together a coherent sentence, but all that left was garbled gibberish. She finally managed to squeak out a weak explanation, but unbeknownst to her, Sua had already extracted all the information she needed from Siyeon’s first, true reaction.

“I-Uh, this fever and cold is making me really loopy and I sometimes lose focus and just stare off into space and don’t realize I’m doing it.” Siyeon’s voice rasped out quickly. She inwardly smacked herself, knowing how pathetic of an explanation she produced. She gulped and lifted her eyes to meet Sua’s gaze, wondering if she bought the lie or not. She was simultaneously happy and sad to see that the older woman had finally put the clean t-shirt on while she wasn’t looking.

“You know, you could just tell me that you think my body’s y.”She husked out, voice deep and laced with sensuality, before winking at the girl on the bed and promptly leaving the room. Siyeon fell back hard on the mattress in a disheveled heap, working on calming her pounding heart.

“If only you knew how truly attracted I was to you.”  The exasperated woman took the much needed alone time to collect her thoughts; she couldn’t allow another slip up like that to occur.

”But why did it seem like she was flirting with me, and wanted me to flirt back with her? Am I so delusional that I actually believe she’s into me too? I don’t know what to think anymore, I just know I can’t let her know my true feelings. Nothing good will come of it; only a ruined friendship.”

In another room of the dorm, Sua was not far off from having a similar internal conversation with herself.