The girl’s performance of their newest comeback and several older songs went off without a hitch. It was routine for them to practice choreography with members missing; contingency planning most groups were taught. While backstage, they determined who was most comfortable and confident in covering Siyeon’s lines; Sua unsurprisingly volunteered herself for most of them. After their final performance, the girl’s headed back to the makeup room, praising and congratulating one another for a job well done. As they cooled down, rehydrated, and changed into other outfits, their manger’s worked on setting up the stage with tables and chairs for the upcoming fan signing event.

The energy from the crowd was astounding; Sua and the rest of the team were so thankful for the fans, and all the support they provided them. Sua was especially grateful; it gave her a distraction from missing Siyeon, and reminded her to put on her best face for InSomnia’s.  After several outfit changes, quick makeup touches, and even quicker devoured snacks, all the members made their way back to the stage. The audience was roaring and cheering, quickly forming into a line, anxious to finally meet with the girl’s face to face. The humbled women smiled brightly, waving to the fans as they made their way to the already designated seats. The order from left to right went; Jiu, Yoohyeon, Sua, Handong, Gahyeon, and Dami.

As the manager’s and host finished up last minute preparations, Sua took the opportunity to discuss room changes with Yoohyeon, before they became too engrossed with the event. After hanging her jacket over the back of her chair and settling in, Sua nonchalantly grabbed Yoohyeon’s arm, yanking her close, and subsequently away from her conversation with Jiu. The leader’s words cut off abruptly; an amused grin adorning her face. It was pretty common for conversations to be interrupted when Sua was around. She made a mental note of what she was about to say, and then proceeded to walk around the stage, asking if she could help with anything, as well as thanking the staff for their hard work.

“What’s up Unnie?” Yoohyeon chuckled out, turning to face the smaller girl.

“I have a request from Siyeon. She was wondering if you would switch rooms with me tonight, and stay with Jiu. You know, because she rolls around a lot when she’s sick, and I’m a heavier sleeper, and she doesn’t want to inconvenience you at night.” Sua rambled on, continuing to provide reasons as to why Yoohyeon should agree to the switch.

“I probably sound suspicious going on and on, instead of just asking the question and leaving it at that. Why do I need to provide reasoning anyway? It’s not like I have any weird intentions. I’m just a heavy sleeper and promised to make Siyeon feel better. I mean, I’ll be in Yoohyeon’s bed when we sleep… unless Siyeon wants me to hold her in her sleep, then I would be more than happy to… for comforting purposes of course.”

While Sua continued to inwardly fret, she failed to see the sparkling eyes and subsequent blush of Yoohyeon at the mention of sharing a room with Jiu.

“So, yeah, if it’s not too much trouble, Siyeon would really apprec-“

“YES! I-I mean, of course, it-it’s no problem at all. I’ll let Jiu-unnie know about the switch.” Yoohyeon eagerly accepted the proposition, noticeably too quickly as she tried to dial back her excitement. Sua gave her a quizzical look, but before she could comment on Yoohyeon’s outburst, the host began introductions and the opening announcement. The dancer gave Yoohyeon’s arm a light squeeze, mouthing ‘thank you’ with a light smile, before letting the girl go to prepare for meeting the fans. Yoohyeon nodded in return, turning back in her seat as well, attempting to conceal the beaming smile that threatened to cover the entirety of her face. While Sua organized her area, Yoohyeon excitedly turned to Jiu, who had just sat down again, to tell her the good news.

The fan signing was in full swing shortly after Sua and Yoohyeon’s exchange. The crowd was lively and brought out the energetic and playful sides of the girl’s. Many of the fans brought the girl’s gifts, letters, etc., and several fans had brought specific items for Siyeon. The manger’s thankfully accepted the gifts in her place, while Sua announced to the crowd she would ensure that Siyeon received them all, and that she would be incredibly grateful for each and every one if she was here. At one point, a female fan had brought Sua two plushies; an adorable grey elephant and a black wolf. The fan asked if Sua could personally give Siyeon the wolf, and to tell her to get better; that all InSomnia’s were awaiting her healthy return. Sua winked at the girl, and assured her she would give Siyeon the plushie. The girl bowed, stuttering her appreciation from the surprise wink, before switching seats to meet with Handong next.

Sua kept the medium sized elephant and wolf on the table next to her, rearranging the two so the elephant was on top of the wolf, almost giving it a full body hug. She smiled to herself, knowing Siyeon would approve of the display if she were at the event.

“Actually, the manger’s would probably take the stuffed toys away if she was here, because we’d spend 20 minutes just goofing off and playing with them together.” Sua felt her heart pang while thinking of Siyeon being next to her. Sua knew Siyeon and she were incredibly close, but she didn’t think having to go to one event without her would be so difficult. Everything just reminded her of the bright and beautiful woman.

Half-way through the event, Sua was asked a question she was quite familiar with. However, this time her answer was much different compared to her usual response. A 20-something year old woman sat in front Sua, just having finished her portion of signing with Yoohyeon. Sua greeted the girl, accepting her presented album to sign. When she finished and looked back up at the fan, she noticed she seemed nervous and fidgety.

“You don’t have to be so nervous, I don’t bite.” Sua joked, smiling sweetly at the girl with a wink, hoping to ease her tension. The girl in response blushed a deep shade of crimson red, before bowing her head down and loudly blurting out the question that she had been working up the courage to ask.

“Sua-unnie, can I marry you please?!” The girl refused to raise her head and meet Sua’s eyes. Before she could even process a proper response, was already moving of its’ own accord.

“I’m sorry; I can’t accept your proposal. My heart already belongs to Siyeon, and I am dedicated whole-heartedly to her.”Sua’s eyes widened the moment those words slipped past her lips. The woman finally raised her head, a look of shock evident on her features.

“Holy , did those words really just come out of my mouth? Where did that come from? I’ve never answered like that before. I usually just accept proposals, but something in me just couldn’t do it this time. Am I…. in love with Siyeon? It’s not common to want to marry your best friend, is it? The thought of marrying Siyeon feels… right. So incredibly normally, even though it shouldn’t be. Oh god, I’m actually in love with Siyeon!”

Sua’s cheeks burned hotly in embarrassment from her own reply, and the resulting affirmation of her true feelings. She buried her face in her hands, hoping for a moment of respite to compose herself. She removed her hands, beginning to stutter out an explanation for her response, but the woman cut her off.

“I understand and accept your denial of my proposal. I wish the best for your future, and I will always be supporting you two together Unnie. Hwaiting!” She smiled happily at Sua, pumping her fist subtly up in the air to accentuate her support. Stunned by the fan’s response, all Sua could do was bow and thank her quietly as she moved to speak with Handong next. For once in her life, Sua was at a loss for words. However, another fan quickly replaced the seat in front of her, forcing her to push her feelings down to stew over later; professionalism came first in her line of work.

The second half of the event finished without any hiccups, and to Sua’s appreciation, no other marriage proposals. After her response earlier, she was worried what would come out of next if she were asked the question again. The girl’s stood and bowed, waving to the sea of fans and thanking them for coming out to the event. They then proceeded to head backstage to re-hydrate and relax while the crew broke down the set. All the members were pretty worn out from the day, keeping to themselves and winding down with their phones.   Much to Sua’s dismay, this provided her with ample time to reflect on her previous “confession”. Following the lead of her members, Sua gingerly fished her phone out from the front pocket of her handbag. With the press of a button, her device quickly booted back on, several messages and notifications filling up the page of her lock screen. The dancer’s heart only skipped a beat however, when the latest message from Siyeon appeared. 

To: Siyeon’s Actual Wife <3

Hey unnie, I really appreciated the medicine you left for me. It really helped out and I slept the moment you all left. I’m sorry I missed texting you during the car ride and keeping you company. I’m going to roll out of bed and try to wash up. Can’t wait for you to come home and make me feel better. :) Don’t forget to ask Yoohyeon to switch rooms, I really need you tonight. <3

The young woman’s heart clenched tightly as an array of emotions washed over her. She knew the moment those words left at the fan signing, that it wasn’t just a slip of the tongue. Undoubtedly, Sua knew those were her true feelings spilling out to that random girl. She meant what she said; her heart belonged to Siyeon. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment her feelings for the younger woman developed deeper than the level of close friendship. However, she knew she had been repressing and pushing them deep down within herself, always chalking her actions and emotions up to Siyeon just being her closest best friend. Sua never thought too deeply into how she felt when she was around Siyeon. Whenever her feelings would become too real, too intense, she would just joke around or act extra goofy; an attempt to distract herself and prevent Siyeon from questioning her.

The main issue that kept Sua on edge and guarded from acknowledging and acting on her feelings, was the fear of ruining everything, ruining the group dynamic, destroying her close bond with Siyeon, losing her job, having the other members look at her differently; the list was endless. Despite all those terrifying thoughts though, her romantic feelings for Siyeon never diminished. Sua was convinced if she just ignored them for long enough, that they would disappear, that she could maintain a normal friendship with the beautiful vocalist. Of course that plan back-fired, severely, and the love-sick woman only fell harder and deeper as time went on, and as she became closer with Siyeon. It didn’t help that as their relationship developed, Siyeon became bolder and more flirtatious with Sua. The dancer knows it’s just because they’re such close friends, but some of the things that occurred more recently were starting to give her hope, that just maybe, Siyeon felt the same way.

Tears started to sting the edges of Sua’s eyes, threatening to fall. She quickly wiped them away, breathing in and out deeply, composing herself and holding them back. She wasn’t one to cry in front of others, and she knew the members would be crowded around her, making sure she was okay if she did start crying. She knew she couldn’t handle that type of commotion today; she worried she would break down and tell them all of her honest thoughts, and the painful feelings she had been harbouring for so long now.

She was saved momentarily when the manger’s walked in, telling the girl’s to pack up and get ready to head back out to the vans. Sua stood up, grabbing her purse and jacket, her movements on auto pilot as she just went along with the motions. Her thoughts were all jumbled and spiraling; she needed more time to process them, or more likely, to push them to the darkest corners of her mind again. Jiu exited first, Yoohyeon wrapped firmly around her arm, giggling at something funny the leader had said. Dami and Gahyeon left next, both talking about sweet potatoes and gifts they received from the fans respectfully. The distraught woman was so lost in thought; she failed to notice Handong standing next to her.

“Unnie is quiet today… and that’s okay. I know you miss Siyeon, we all do. Is it okay if I walk with you? We don’t have to talk; I just don’t want you to feel alone.” Handong’s soft words drew Sua’s eyes upwards; the taller woman offered a kind smile and her arm. Sua gratefully accepted the invitation, gently hanging on, and leaning into the younger girls’ shoulder while she fought to keep her emotions in check.

“Thank you Handong,” Sua whispered, saying few words for fear her voice would crack and cause the other woman to worry. Handong squeezed Sua’s bicep with her free hand, before walking them out of the building to catch up with the rest of the group. Once out of the building, they heard the girl’s excitedly cheering next to the vans.

“Quick, Sua-unnie, Handong-unnie, get in the van! The mangers are taking us out for dinner to celebrate the success of today’s event!” Gahyeon jumped up and down excitedly, pulling on the two girls’ and ushering them to the closest vehicle. Sua was able to resist the abnormally strong pushing from the maknae; the idea of food gave her super strength it seemed. She instead broke free and faced one of the mangers.

“Manger-nim, would it be would okay if I rode back in the van with all the equipment to the dorm to check up on Siyeon?” Gahyeon stopped bouncing after she heard Sua’s request.

“Oh, how could I forget about Siyeon-unnie. That was really selfish of me.” Gahyeon hung her head low, feeling upset with herself for forgetting about her friend. Sua lightly patted Gahyeon’s head, smiling gently at the youngest girl when she gazed up from the ground. The other girl’s start to chime in, saying they’ll skip the meal to go back sooner as well.

“Guys, it’s okay. You all deserve a good meal, and you know Siyeon would feel bad if you skipped out on a meal for her. She’s most likely still going to be sleeping, and she’s not a handful, so she doesn’t need all of us taking care of her. Go on, we’ll see you back at the dorms in a couple hours.” Sua effectively convinced the other members to accept the dinner proposal, while she went back early.

“We’ll get a small cake on the way back to put in the fridge for when Siyeon feels better.” Dami proposed, receiving nods of approval from the other girl’s. Gahyeon looked up at Dami expectantly, wide puppy eyes on full display.

“… Okay, two cakes so Miss “Sweet Tooth” over here doesn’t feel left out.” Dami laughed out, ruffling Gahyeon’s hair while the other members burst into laughter at the display. Gahyeon pouted, puffing her cheeks out in embarrassment, but was soon laughing along with her unnie’s. The girl’s soon parted ways; Sua entering the van loaded with the day’s equipment, and the other five women entering the second van on their way to dinner. Sua exhaled deeply once the vehicle started driving, her momentary distraction now gone.

“Remember, SIyeon is sick and she needs you to take care of her. This is no time to start delving into your feelings or take advantage of her. She’s needs her best friend, so keep yourself under control!”

Sua would soon find out that keeping her romantic feelings under wrap, was definitely much easier said than done.