" Zhan...? " Lu called out as she walked towards the man who was sitting on the couch inside his dressing room, looking lost and exhausted at the same time.

Coming back from the stage, Zhan swiftly walked towards the dressing room as he wanted to shut himself out of the crowd for a bit. He felt both mentally and physically exhausted after the concert, and the small interview they had which triggered his past memories that he had been bearing inside his heart for a long time.

He felt like he wanted to escape from his own responsibilities and hide away from the world, until he got used with the situation. Zhan was pushed into a world of new things, without even letting him have his time to adjust and familiarize with his no lifestyle.

Everything happened so sudden that he couldn't even get along with the people who will be surrounding him from then on. A life of 3 years, where he struggled each day to get along with the numerous numbers of people coming and going in and out of his life.

" Zhan are you okay...? you don't look well," Lu continued to question as she was concerned while watching the younger, sitting there at the corner with head on his hands.

Zhan sat there as if he was having a severe headache. And no matter what, Lu couldn't brush off the sister Instinct in her, which he feels towards the younger idol from the day she joined as his assistant.

She was always a caring sister for him in most of his difficult times. Therefore, it is much harder for him to hide his pain and helplessness from someone like her. Pulling himself together, he raised his head before looking at her, his eyes that looked lost and blank.

" I'm fine Jie.. just give me a moment please"

Lu already knew that something was up and Zhan needed some time to cool himself down. Therefore, she chose to leave him alone for a bit, and also informed him that they will be leaving soon.

" Okay, then, change your clothes and get ready to leave okay...? Our van will be ready in 20 minutes. Your fans are all around the place." Lu reluctantly walked away from the room just after hearing,

" Yeah, I will be changing now."

Even though she is not aware of what was going on inside the younger brother's head, she still hopes that things will be fine and he will leave a happy and healthy life in the future.

She has been watching Zhan struggle each and every day for the past several years. The fact that he has been working his of every single day, to do better and better.

It was really worrying her a lot. it is more like he has been trying himself to prove something. Or, maybe more like challenging himself to his barricade, looking how long he can stay persistent like this.

Zhan relaxed his muscles as soon as she left, and slowly glided down onto the couch with his head laying at top of the hand rest. His hands covering his eyes drowned in sehnsucht.

His heart was physically paining the moment, when the memory of a certain person flashed in his mind. The same person whom he had once loved and still is in love with. The same person who taught him to dream and taught him to survive, even without himself knowing it.

Moments went by, and his vivid thought lingered around here and there in the memory of that certain person, who had been disturbing his mind ever since the day he chose to walk out of his life.

Each time a memory flashes in his head, his breath hitches. Every time he gets to see that handsome face, even though those are just delusional images in his head, his heart yearns for more.

Spending a few moments for himself, and calming his racing nerves down, Zhan got up from the couch lifelessly as he will be leaving the place soon. He can't be the reason for someone else to be waiting for him, so he can't laze around anymore.

Zhan was busy checking his phone as if he was waiting for someone to call, when his assistant came back and knock down the door before she inquired,

"Zhan, are you ready yet.? We are leaving." picking up his bag and phone along with him, Zhan walked out of the room looking, pretty decent and not so down anymore.

Lu smiles a bit as she can now feel relieved seeing Zhan looking better than before, and he doesn't look like a living dead anymore. Zhan somehow mastered the art of fake smiles through the years.

And since then, he had been forced to smile quiet often which had never been genuine, nor the bunny smile he used to have. A smile he had forgotten since the day he stopped smiling genuinely like he used to. A smile that used to brighten up someone else's day.

" Yes, let's go."

They both walked towards the company car, which was parked just outside the building which he was in. Zhan climbed inside after waving his hands off to all those friends who were gathered around, sending him farewell and a safe journey.

The car slowly started moving, trespassing all those fans who were there and started hitting the main road soon enough. Xiao Zhan along with his assistant Ms. Lu, and one of his make-up were the only people inside the van apart from the driver, who sat silently and did what he's supposed to.

Couple of minutes passed and Zhan was still silent unlike other times where he used to talk or at least try to make a conversation on their way. But tonight, it seemed completely different and Zhan looked bothered for some reason.

"Congrats on today's concert Zhan, you were really awesome on the stage and your fans kept cheering for you." Lu said as he saw the younger sitting there looking lonely and lost.

Zhan was busy looking out through the window while he held his phone tightly in his hands, like he was expecting someone to call or at least see some kind of notification. Yet nothing came and nothing changed from the way it had been for the past several years.

" Thanks, Jie." Zhan smiled as he looked at his sister figure who had been one of those people whom he relied the most on.

He was once again drowned in his own thoughts when he was pulled back from the trance of his own measurable memories, by the soft and cheerful voice of his assistant. He was slightly startled for a second but composed himself, trying to play it cool as he didn't want to give away his act just like that.

Lu looked concerned and couldn't help herself from inquiring when she happened to notice the same sadness getting over him once again. She doesn't like the fact that she feels helpless every single time she happens to see the younger, looking down like that in person, while he