I was in Jeonghan’s arms again that day. I shivered from the cold and grief. Jeonghan wrapped an arm around me while holding an umbrella with another. I leaned towards him for warmth. But it hardly came. Because I knew, the coldness came from my heart. But Jeonghan tried his best to comfort me as much as he could.

The eulogy was said and the casket was descended into the ground. Rain pattered mercilessly against the black umbrellas. A few people gathered, holding umbrellas and some with flowers. A photo of Mingyu was placed at his gravestone, accompanied with a few bouquets of light coloured flowers. To me, they all looked grey on that rainy day.

I closed my eyes and endless tears streamed down both my cheeks. I clutched onto Jeonghan’s hand firmly for support. I was afraid that without him, I might just collapse. I knew it was stupid, but I still haven’t fully registered the fact that Mingyu’s really gone.

The funeral soon ended and the small crowd dispersed, leaving only Jeonghan as my company. But still, the rain kept on pouring heavily. The water trickled down Mingyu’s gravestone, and fell onto the flowers lying beside it. I knelt down as I brushed my fingers across his photo.

“Mingyu…,” I whispered under my breath. The wet grass underneath stained my black pants but I couldn’t care less.

I never really knew what love was. I never understood what the fuss was about. I couldn’t relate when I watched dramas. I never felt it before. And I never thought I would feel it in my life.

But then he came into my life. He showed me what love was. He had shown me how it was to love someone more than life itself. I understood that now. But still, I was disappointed. Mingyu had taught me how to love, but he had never taught me how to let go.

I stayed in that position for as long as I could remember, just staring at Mingyu’s photo and letting my tears flow. Jeonghan held the umbrella over the both of us and waited patiently without a word. Gradually, the heavy downpour became drizzles.

“Wonwoo…,” Jeonghan called, touching me gently on the shoulder. That seemed to wake me up. I jolted with a start and stood up.

“I’m sorry, I just…,” I started.

“I understand,” Jeonghan gave me a weak reassuring smile.

“Come, let’s go home,” he said, leading me away.

~ ~ ~

He had left everything for me. Everything. And I only got to know it from a piece of paper. Apparently, everything was already planned. And I happened to be the only one who didn’t know anything.

Jeonghan had arranged for me to meet with Mingyu’s lawyer, Mr Chwe. He was a super cool, super nice guy. From the moment we met, I knew why Mingyu would trust someone like him.

He wore a winter coat over a simple T-shirt underneath, along with a matching black pants and Burberry shoes. His hair was combed to one side and he wore a pair of chic sunglasses, giving him the image of a cool city guy. But when he took off his glasses to greet me, he transformed into a gentleman. His warm eyes instantly told me that he’s a friend, that I could trust him. He held out his hand and took mine in a firm grip.

“A pleasure to meet you, Mr Jeon,” he said politely, “I’m Chwe Hansol. Or you can call me Vernon.”

“Hi,” I replied, surprised at his voice. He sounded young, maybe younger than Mingyu.

“Mr Yoon,” he nodded towards Jeonghan, which he nodded back.

“Shall we begin?” he asked, opening his suitcase.

I seemed to be the only one in the room who hadn’t got a clue what was actually going on. I was silent as I watched their movements. Vernon was taking out some sort of documents out of his suitcase. And Jeonghan approached me and took my hand, pulling me to a chair. He was treating me as if I was so weak I couldn’t stand. But I was so easily tired those days that I didn’t protest. I knew he meant well.

I saw him whispering something into Vernon’s ear. Vernon glanced over to my direction before nodding. I could only wonder the secret they shared. I was too tired to care anyway.

“Mr Jeon,” Vernon addressed me again as he held a piece of paper in his hand.

The paper, it turned out, happened to be a will. A will created by