"stop drinking can you ? we have schedule tommorow yuju -yah " i ignore the girrafe beside me and drink the beer i am holding bottoms up 

"i wanna know ..... why did you pushed her to confess her feelings to sinb knowing that there's a chance that eunbi might accept her ? you love her ,so why did you do that ?" 

i look at her and smile though we both know that it's not a genuine smile "because sinb desserves her " 

"and you think , you're not ?" she gave me sympathetic look but i shake my head and avoid her eyes

yewon is someone that the person like me dont desserve. I like her alot but i also feel like a fool when i am with her because she's too genuis . I am not as pretty as sojung , not as friendly as yerin , not as cute as eunha , and not as fun as sinb , and she likes sinb alot so clearly i dont stand a chance.

i remember the time when i ask her why did she like sinb

"what do you like about her ? she's too savage you know " 

"i like her savageness , i like how she dance perfectly , i like how her expression change in a snap , i like how she lift up the mood "  i can see how her eyes twinkle

and while she's reciting all the things she likes about sinb , i'm also listing all the things i like about her in my head 

i like how she smile and all her expressions , i like how smart and matured she is , I like how innocent she is , i like how cute she is when she makes mistakes , i lik....

"but there this one thing that i dont like about her, its when she became too cold to everyone , it's kinda annoying sometimes" she utter

then automaticaly ,i start thinking about the things that i dont l like about her 

i dont like when she's being too savage ..

uh wait no .. i also like it.. she's cute when she's savage to her unnie's - so scratch that ..

Uhmm I don't like  .... I don't like it when she's too .. uhmm when she's so straight forward to us ..yes that's right ..

Uh No no no .. she looks cool when she's saying her opinions and what's on her head honestly.. so scratch that again ayss. How can I hate that about her - when she looks smart while blurting  out all her on point and honest opinion and dragging the conversation on the right path. So no no I can't hte the smart yewon..

I'm -trying to look for the things that I don't like about her but nothing come out ..

And there realize that I like even her flaws . I like everything about her... Maybe if you really love someone , you will love every piece of her existence.

"but you could've just confess first before pushing her to other people. It would make you feel free even just a little" sowon said with her brows furrowing.

But I don't actually want to be free from my feelings. Even if it's hurting me ;still , loving her are the best thing I've ever done .   

"I'm not pushing her to others; she's pushing herself, I'm just here to support her and to make sure that she will be happy at the end " I smile sadly .

"Support her huh "sowon mumbled while nodding her head "even if it means you have to hurt yourself in the process ?" She added.

I look at her in the eyes "even if it means I have to hurt myself in the process " I utters with so much seriousness in my voice.

I want her to understand that I'm so inlove with yewon that i can trade my life just to see her happy.

My love is not selfish. I can endure the pain of seeing her with someone ,but I can't endure the pain I will feel when I see her crying becau