“Elizabeth!” I found her looking at her locker. As she looked up, I took the bills out of my pocket. The feel of the fabricky-paper felt alien in my hands. “Here. My share of the ticket. Can you buy it though? I have test corrections to do today during lunch.”

She looked at me stunned. “You don’t have to do this. I was going to pay for both of our tickets.”

I waved her outstretched hand away. “Dude, I told you I was going to go with you. I should pay my part of the ticket then.

As I walked away to go to my first class, my heart started beating quickly. I also planned to go on the impossible mission.

A confession.

Not by mouth, of course. By paper, as always.

I stared at my printed paper.

Hey. Wow, it’s been a week since I’ve last talked to you. Time goes so fast.

To tell you the truth, I can’t believe this is the third note. I’m usually a very private person. And somehow something about you is different from other people.

I’ve heard about your friends trying to find me. I don’t blame you. If someone sent me anonymous notes, I would try to get my friends to find him too.

But it makes me scared, scared enough to lie. I’m pretty honest, but the emotions I get make me want to hide so badly that I’m willing to cloak all of the truth. Sometimes, I just want to crawl into a corner and watch everyone react to this, and wonder if I just wait here will the mess fix itself.

Of course it won’t. I made it. I guess I have to take responsibility.

So here I’ll confess: I sent all of these things to you because I just wanted to let you know that you’re special. I’m not sure if you’ve been told that before, especially by an admirer, but you are. I don’t know if you felt special. I hope you did, and that you smiled.

Even if it was creepy for me to do so.

I get it if you’re not looking for a relationship. I’m not really either, even with these feelings. I just wanted an output. I know a guy who’s pretty brave (although stupid at times) to tell people how he feels about them when he cares, and I thought I should do the same. Even if you don’t feel the same way.

Trust me, I have felt that way. Once actually. Long story I might tell you another time if we get to know each other better.

Whoever gets you in the end is a pretty lucky girl. Or it could be a guy. It’s not like there isn’t that possibility, no offense. I’ve got nothing against homouals, I’m just not one.

So there. I figured I’ve given you enough clues to find me. If I haven’t, I’m sorry, but I feel if I give any more, I might just give myself away.

But just so you know, I’m always going to hide from your friends, I’m always going to lie, and I’m always going to act nonchalant as I can.

If you choose to find me and you do, so be it.

Don’t forget the first post-it I gave you. The post script. It might come in handy. Just make sure you use it in private. Like not during class time?

Sorry. I’m freaking out a bit. Whatever you choose is fine with me, like make your friends keep looking for me, or just pretending this never happened.

Although, I would like it if you just found me, so I can stop pretending to only be an onlooker, naïve of what’s going on, not being the person you’re looking for.

All up to you.

P.S. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to Sadie’s. However, I have bad memories about it…especially since you were part of it.

I breathed out, as I tucked that note back into my binder. As always, I would creep in during lunch.

I really wanted out now. To enjoy my crush in peace. Without having to do all this work.

Two classes later, I got up with the bell, and walked to the cubbies, following Onew. “Hey, Onew, are you going to Sadie’s?”

“No. No one asked me.”

“Funny. I would think the writer of the letter would ask you.” As I grinned, my heart dropped.

To tell the truth, if I had guts and liked the stupid school dances, I would have totally asked him.

But the world wasn’t that way. And to tell the truth, I was getting sick of leaving stuff for him, and getting no answer back.

One-sided love for me was only really enjoyed in silence.