Donghae finally signed it with heavy heart and sent the letter to the court. He cried from morning to night and always prayed that all of these are just a nightmare. But no, it’s not a nightmare and he is fully awake.

Hyukjae leaves him.

Donghae caressed his flat tummy as he could feel his babies are growing day by day. It is eight weeks of his pregnancy and yet he hasn’t told anyone of his family or other friends about it. He also hasn’t said anything of his divorce with Hyukjae and he guessed his husband does the same.

He keeps coming to the hospital to check on his babies and keeps following the doctor instructions. He followed almost all of the doctor’s advices. As eating a lot of vegetables and fruits, keep consuming his vitamins, join in pilates, and all. Almost all except one.

“Don’t think too much, Donghae-ssi. It’s not good for you and your twin.”

He just smiled and nodded.

Donghae kept looking at the monitor which showing his babies. They’re still tiny but Donghae always has his tears gathered everytime he looked at them. It is unbelievable for him to having twin inside his tummy. It is priceless and he has no doubt he will love them to the part he is willing to die for them if it is needed.

I’m sorry if later… you’ll only have me as your father.

How to not thinking too much when his marriage is about to end? How to not thinking too much when he is about to divorce? How to not stress when his husband who he is still freaking in love with, is ignoring him?

Donghae knows Hyukjae is going back to Seoul today –his father-in-law informed it to him– and he must be contacted by the court side that he has signed the letter. Donghae stopped to look at the blue sky.

Here it is. The end of their two years marriage and two years of being boyfriends. A total of four years will end soon, leaving him and their babies.

Donghae imagined how happy Hyukjae must be when his lawyer or someone from the court called him to inform Donghae has signed the letter and agree to divorce. Of course, Hyukjae must feel so happy and breathe a sigh of relief after that.

Donghae felt his phone buzzing inside his pocket. He quickly reached it out and find a message from the court which stated they will have a mediator to talk about their problem and it has three sessions which the first one will be held three days more. He widened his eyes when he read this mediator is a request from both his family and Hyukjae’s.

So, Hyukjae has told them.

Donghae bites his bottom lip when his phone rang. A call from his mom. Oh no…

But he has no choice other than pick it up and composed himself. No one said it’s going to be easy and no one said it’s going to be fine. He sits himself in bed, trying to inhale as much air as he could.

“H-hi mom.”

“Hi Son,” Mrs Lee’s voice is so calm. He heard the woman takes a breath before asking him, “Is it true?”

Donghae didn’t need to ask his mom what she meant by ‘it’ and ‘true’. He knows it well what his mom meant and it’s just leading him to hug his bolster tightly. If only Ryeowook is there, his best friend must be whispered something to calm his heart and thinking back to a few years or months ago, Hyukjae would always hold his hand and kiss it whenever he was nervous.

Hyukjae again…

“Yeah, i-it’s true.”

What he can said more than this? He bites his bottom lip harder when a tears rolled down to his cheeks and failed because a sobs quickly out from his lips. His hands is trembling so does his lips.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. He imagined how shameful it must be for his family especially his mom. He must be disappointed his mom.

“No, Son. Don’t say that,” Mrs Lee sounds so worried when he said sorry one more time. It’s obvious that her son is not fine but she can’t do anything because she has to take care of her sister who is in ill. Of course, she wants to hug his son so bad and make sure everything is fine.

“I’m sorry I’m not beside you. It must be so hard for you.” She whispers and when she heard his son sobs again, she added, “Hyukjae called me this morning and informed about it. He didn’t say the cause of this divorce and I don’t want to force you to say so.”

Donghae sobs harder. “T-thank you, m-mom.”

Mrs Lee sighed and Donghae could feel his mom is frowning. “I immediately call his parents after that and they confirmed it. They’re also not happy with his decision, Hae. You know they love you, right?“ Mrs Lee smiled, feeling grateful to have such a kind and understanding in-law. “Both of us agreed that you guys have to attend the mediation before the actual divorce. It must be hard but I don’t want to force both of you to maintain the marriage if you guys really don’t want to continue.”

Donghae holds himself to say the truth. He desperately wants someone to help him to change Hyukjae’s mind but in the same time he also don’t want to look pathetic. He just cried, letting his mom to hear it and the woman feels guilty.

“I know it’s painful and no one wants to fail but believe me, I always support your decision and you always have my back. Just do the best for yourself, for your sake of happiness. If you’re happy, I’m happy too. If you’re sad, I’ll be sad too. You have to share all your problems with me, okay?”

Donghae wipped his cheeks with his sleeve but still crying. “Y-you’re not a-angry?” Because he thought she would.

Donghae could feel Mrs Lee was smiling again when said, “No. I was shocked but it’s okay. I don’t want you to feel pressure. Prepare yourself for the mediation, okay? I love you, Son.”

And Donghae cried again for the whole day. He has lost count for how many times he had cried for these past weeks. He decided to not tell his mom about his pregnancy. He just afraid if he told his mom about this, the woman will call Hyukjae and his husband feels annoying again.

He was about to sleep when suddenly someone rang his house bell. He surprised when he found it is Hyukjae’s family. His father-in-law, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law. There is no Hyukjae.

His mother-in-law quickly approached him and wrapped him in her hug. He could feel the woman’s tears on his shoulder and he felt teary up again.

“Donghae, you know you have us, right? Can you talk with us, what happened?” His father-in-law asked with a hopeful gaze.

Both of Donghae and Hyukjae’s family knew really well that Donghae won’t share it. Donghae doesn’t like to saying bad things behind Hyukjae and Hyukjae’s family knew it.

.

.

.

They were met when Hyukjae was 27 and Donghae was 26. They met in a concert which Hyukjae’s directed. Donghae wasn’t a fan of concert or crowded places but because Ryeowook kept saying it was super awesome and his best friend’s boyfriend –Kim Jongwoon or you can call him Yesung– was one of the performer, so he decided to join.

It was a mixed concert, so they listened to many songs and watched so many groups or soloists performances. Donghae quite enjoyed it and sometimes sang along with Ryeowook –who was so happy especially when his boyfriend appeared.

The concert was going for three hours and after it finished, both of him and Ryeowook went to the backstage to meet Jongwoon. Donghae just rolled his eyes when Ryeowook threw himself to Jongwoon’s arms and kissed his cheek. Oh, Donghae was still single at that time so this kind of view made him wondered how it felt like if he was having boyfriend.

Donghae congratulated Jongwoon and praised his performance. They talked a bit before someone entered the room and he heard Jongwoon said something like Director-nim! He wasn’t sure so he turned his head and saw a man approached them –Jongwoon, to be true– with a proud smile.

The man was handsome with his single-lidded eyes, white milky skin, a wide smile that showed his gum, and he was a bit taller than Donghae. His body was perfect eventhough he just wore a white tee and dark brown pants. He nailed it well together with his black hair which looked so fluffy and Donghae felt nothing compared to him.

“You’re so great, hyung!” said the man while high-five with Jongwoon who was laughing shyly.

“It’s nothing without you, Hyukjae. Thanks for directing us and making it great.” Jongwoon replied and they laughed. Jongwoon realised he hadn’t introduced his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s friend so he muttered, “Hyukjae, this is my boyfriend. Kim Ryeowook.”

Ryeowook shook Hyukjae’s hand and both of them said their names again.

“This is Donghae, Ryeowook’s best friend.”

Donghae flinched when Hyukjae gave him his right hand. He flushed when Ryeowook giggled and with thumping heart, he shook Hyukjae’s hand and surprisingly, both of them flushed without leaving Jongwoon and Ryeowook unnoticed.

“I’m Hyukjae.”

“I-I’m D-donghae. Nice to meet you.”

It was somehow cute and funny. Sensing some opportunity for his best friend, Ryeowook quickly in and said, “Donghae is an architecture and still single because he is too kind and bad men never deserved him.”

Hyukjae laughed meanwhile Donghae held himself to not smacking his best friend’s head. But maybe it was really an opportunity because after that meeting, Hyukjae and Donghae exchanged their numbers and keeping in touch. Sometimes, they would had dinner or lunch together. Sometimes they could talk until dawn, sharing about their days, problems, funny story, and many things. Or watching a movie in theatre and attended concert. They had many similarity.

Hence, slowly but surely they became closer even until visiting each other apartment.

Ryeowook was more than happy when he looked at how happy Donghae was everytime they talked about Hyukjae. He fully support their relationship –eventhough at that time, both of them hadn’t declared anything about being boyfriends– and giving a lot of advices to Donghae.

They needed a year as friends before Hyukjae made Donghae as his lover. Both of their families were so happy and blessed them, their friends sent them congratulation messages, and their life became better by having each other.

Their relationship was a mixed of sweet and long distance relationship since Hyukjae had many jobs outside of Seoul and Donghae was busy with his projects. They were busy but kept talking to each other no matter how long it was.

On their second anniversary, Hyukjae finally proposed to Donghae and that was nothing but one of the best moments in their life. Donghae was having teary eyes and overwhelmed while Hyukjae was smiling widely and they hugged each other.

Through their marriage life, they kept learning to know each other more. Hyukjae was still busy as before –even more– and Donghae was busy with his jobs. Both of them felt so lucky because their families were very supportive to them. Hyukjae’s mom even routinely sent Donghae meals so her son-in-law can live healthily.

Hyukjae and Donghae loved each other so damn much. Everyone could tell it and didn’t have any doubts because that had shown in through their eyes how they loved and cared for each other.

They went to Hawaii and had a Japan tour for their honeymoon. Everyone could feel how warmth and comfortable it was everytime the couple came and it was lighten everyone’s mood. Even with the most silly jokes, Donghae still found Hyukjae as adorable man. His man. His husband.

.

.

.

Donghae his tummy when he felt a sudden desire of wanted to puke. He has to go to meet his client again, no matter how Ryeowook asked him to rest. At least, he has to go because he has to earn a lot of money from now on. He will soon divorce from Hyukjae which means he has to stand on his own feet.

To be frankly, of course Donghae is not ready for this divorce. Not because he can’t provide the money. Hyukjae is more than just a money. He loves that man to the point he doesn’t know how to describe it.

And this divorce… he doesn’t want it but what can he do for prevent it? Coaxing Hyukjae?

Well, he has thinking about that a lot of time but a lot of time too he doubts and decided to be quiet. Hyukjae seems so sure with his decision and he is not ready to hear any hurtful comments if he coaxed him.

Donghae looked at the picture of him and Hyukjae during their pre-wedding shot. When their faces painted with happiness and their eyes glinted with love. When there was no problems and a faithful gaze.

He closed his eyes when he remembered tomorrow will be the first session of him and Hyukjae meeting with their mediator. It is so hard for him since it will be the first meet after their quarell and now they’re going to divorce.

Ryeowook had offered to help him and accompany him but he quickly rejected. His best friend has helped him a lot such as drove him to the hospital, bought a lot of vitamins and milk, and sometimes Ryeowook also cooked for him. Not to mention, Ryeowook is living in his house now to make sure he is always fine since he is pregnant.

Until now, it is still Ryeowook who knows about his pregnancy and oftenly, his best friend will ask him to speak about it to his family and Hyukjae but once again, Donghae doesn’t want to make Hyukjae feel burdened.

Moreover, he never thought Hyukjae would love the news. Not that Hyukjae hates baby but Hyukjae just said he didn’t want to have any child and he loved to just spending time with Donghae. Yeah, it was like that.

But now, it will be different.

He ended throw-up and feeling dizzy all he night after he met his client that day. It’s good to have Ryeowook who moves to his house and helping him. Of course, as a good best friend he is, he can’t let his best friend to face all the hard things alone and he is afraid if Donghae would have problem with his pregnancy and something bad happened when no one besides him. Hence, he moves to his best friend’s house and tried his best to always spend a lot of time to communicate with Donghae.

“You need to eat, Donghae. Come on,” Ryeowook keeps holding the spoon that contains chicken porridge. Beside his bed, Ryeowook also prepared hot milk and his vitamins. “At least, think this is for your babies. The twin have to eat and be healthy, right?”

If you’re asking Ryeowook how he feels about Donghae’s condition right now, he will say he feels sad and wants to giving punches to Hyukjae’s face. He never seen Donghae would be like this, not even when his ex-boyfriend spoke harshly. His best friend always happy all the time so this is the first time he sees how fragile and weak Donghae is, both physically and emotionally.

In the midst of chewing the porridge, Donghae unconciously whispered, “I miss him.”

His eyes started all teary again and Ryeowok becomes silence. Donghae lowered his head, looking at his tummy, and a tears fell. “I can’t imagine how my life will be after this. These weeks had been worst for me and now… thinking of he will live separately from me and the divorce… i-it hurts.”

Ryeowook turned his head to the other side and bites his bottom lip, trying to hold himself from crying. His weakness is Donghae’s tears and the fact he feels useless is make him worst.

“A-and now, r-raising two ba-babies al-alone… I-I just afraid… w-what if my babies disappointed h-having a father l-like me? H-how I-I have to dis-discipline m-my babies. I—“

Enough.

Ryeowook lets Donghae leaned on his chest and both of them crying. With Donghae pouring all his worries and Ryeowook crying silently because he doesn’t want Donghae apologies to him. Ryeowook can’t say anything but promise he and Jongwoon will help Donghae raising his baby.

Donghae cried until he slept on Ryeowook’s shoulder.

“Hyukjae…”

And for countless times, Ryeowook heard Donghae whispered Hyukjae’s name in his sleep as if that name is the only thing mattered.

.

Never thought this fic would get subscribers because I felt this is so meh, but thank you everyone who has subscribing, commenting, upvoting, and reading this story. I'm planning this fic to have less than 10 chapters (I'm not sure tho' if I can or not kkk) so I'm sorry if every chapters will be longer. I'm sorry if I have many grammatical errors, English is not my first language :). Last but not least, have a nice day and be careful of Corona Virus, everyone, hope every single of us will be protected from that virus and other diseases^^