Hyukjae waiting impatiently in front of the lift. He clenched his plastic bag which filled with food he bought at the restaurant earlier and kept looking at his watch. When finally the lift stopped and opened, he caught a beautiful woman in her 50s smiling at him with an umbrella in her other hand.

“Hi, Ma’am.” He greeted, smiled widely when the woman patted his shoulder. “Wanna go to the mart?”

The woman lets out a light chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, but I forgot my wallet after I reached here.” Both of them laughed lightly.

Hyukjae feels a bit ease since this woman is his neighbour and very nice to him. She always giving him healthy foods in the past and when he announced he will get married two years ago, he didn’t forget to invite the woman to his wedding party. He also remembered how the woman felt so happy and congratulated both him and Donghae as if both of them were her sons.

“You never told me why these months you’re coming back to live here, young man.” The woman said and nudge his arm using her elbow.

Hyukjae sighed when he remembered this also a reason why he avoids this woman as many times as he could. He knows she will ask because from all of his neighbours, this woman is the closest to him.

“Just… I miss my apartment.”

The woman smiled tenderly and brush her fringe to make her seeing Hyukjae’s face clearly. She looked at the doors, her voice is small but enough for Hyukjae to hear.

“If you have problem with your husband, I think both of you can talk and solve it. I mean, it’s immature if you left him alone. Marriage is not a game for you to play or a music to easily jam, Hyukjae. There is more about it and I’m sure your husband is missing you.” She smiles when she remembers how Donghae looked during the wedding party. “He was kind and cute. I’m sure until now he is.”

She walked first when they reached the floor they are living. After bid a goodbye, Hyukjae walks to his apartment. Not that he underestimated the woman words, he just felt there is nothing to be fixed more about their marriage.

Hyukjae was about to change his shoes when he smells a familiar scent. It smells sweet like a mix of flowers and honey which is good and giving a calm atmosphere. But not long after that, Hyukjae clenched his jaw. He remembered this smell and whose smell is this.

He stepped to his room and the scents even crazier. His blanket, pillow, bolster, even his bathroom covered by the same scent. Not to mention his clothes in the cupboard.

Hyukjae knew it’s not his mom nor his father. There is only one person who dares to step this far and it’s no other than his sister, Lee Sora. With a hard dialed, he called his sister. His face becomes red with anger.

“Hello?”

“What do you mean by sprayed all of his perfume inside my apartment?” Hyukjae’s voice was cold and flat, Sora will know this is the sign of him in a verge of rage.

“Why? I don’t know what you mean.”

Hyukjae clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. “Stop it! Whatever you do, I won’t fall for him again! You know I don’t love him anymore, so please stop all your stupid acts! I won’t back to him!”

Hyukjae hung up after that. He pants hard and the smell just made him headache. The image of the brown eyes and lovely voice echoed inside his head.

“Hyukkie!”

He shook his head, shaking off all the thoughts about a certain someone. He quickly opened his windows to make the smell gone. He doesn’t want to remember about him. He doesn’t want to think about him.

But everything seems a bit failed when he looked at the small frame on his desk. The small frame he knows who put it. The picture of him and Donghae, smile to each other without knowing someone sneakily would take a picture of them. He remembers what they talked about during that time and before he could control himself, his brain giving a small replay.

“Hyukkie, do you think we can go on vacation again in the future? You know… I wish we can always spending much time to each other.”

“Yes. Sure, Hae.”

But they never had.

And it ended there before an image of Donghae crying when their big quarell happened. Hyukjae doesn’t know why he has to feel his heart clenched by something with that image. A loud shout of his name that night, tears flowed wetting Donghae’s cheeks, and everything making him frustrated until he ruffled his head and groaned in agony he doesn’t know what he felt for.

I want to divorce. I want to live apart from him.

He grabbed the small frame and as fast as light, he took out their picture and ripped it apart until small pieces before he threw all of it with the frame to the trash can.

.

.

.

Donghae looked at his shoes and a little bit upset. He hardly moves due of his tummy but he doesn’t think wearing sandals would be a good choice since he is attending the second session of their mediation now. But it feels like ages too when he tied his shoes since he has to bend down but his tummy is interferes his move which ends up with the shoelaces didn’t tie properly as he wants.

He pulled his big coat to cover his tummy since he feels like everyone looked at him with a questioning gaze. He doesn’t like it, not that he hates his babies.

Instead, he smiles when he saw the calendar and circled it. His eyes becomes a bit teary of joy while his hand his little bump.

“Happy eleventh weeks, babies. Let’s grow stronger and healthier, okay?” He whispered and went to his car after that. The drives to the court doesn’t take long since the street is a bit empty.

Donghae sighed when he looked at the clock. Kim Heechul hasn’t arrived nor Hyukjae. He feels a bit happy and hope the mediation session will be cancelled because he feels unwell and unprepared. Well, Donghae never thought he ever prepared for all of this situation. This is the second session, means after that they’ll have one more session before the actual divorce.  

He was about to unwrap his mint candy because he feels unwell when Hyukjae suddenly comes out of nowhere. Donghae feels his body becomes tensed when their eyes met. Hyukjae staring at him coldly, there is no sign the man still loves him and Donghae lowered his head because of that. He doesn’t want to lie to himself or think that he is wrong.

No. After being together with Hyukjae, he knows really well what is the meaning of his gazes, the most honest part of every single human but Donghae can read it very well only in Hyukjae.

But now, he hopes he never had that ability. He wishes he can’t understand every single gestures or gazes Hyukjae’s has. Because now, it hurts him to understand the other when he is not.

They sat far from each other and the situation just awkward. He his tummy when he feels hungry, just remembered that he hasn’t eaten anything since morning except from drank a glass of milk.

But on top of that, this desires come again. The desires to have Hyukjae caressed his tummy and hugging him. He knows it will be impossible, Hyukjae didn’t even glare at him anymore. Donghae leaned in his chair, looking through the window that showed a beautiful flowers in the edge of the window and drowned to his own thoughts.

In time like this, he often craves for Hyukjae’s attention. There were nights where he couldn’t sleep and just passed it by looking at Hyukjae’s pictures, wished the latter would come and hug him. But he knows it won’t happen.

“Oh, hello guys!” Heechul seems startled when he looked at the couple have waiting for him in the room. He chuckled shyly and sitted himself in the middle. “I’m late because my car has some problems.” He glances at Donghae who just smiled at him and looked at his tummy. Heechul could recognize the slight bump easily –maybe because he has knew the fact– but Hyukjae doesn’t. The guy is too busy with his phone and will still be with his phone if Heechul not cough in exaggerated way.

“Can we start now?” Heechul asked, receiving the others nod.

Heechul looked at Donghae once again and smile widely when he saw the other cheeks. It’s no longer pale but replaced with chubby cheeks instead which just makes him look cuter.

“How are you, Donghae? You seems like gained some weights.”

Donghae smiled shyly and unconciously, he pulled his coat to cover his tummy again which noticed by Heechul. Hyukjae was snorting and rolled his eyes.

“Enough with the talk, hyung. He is fine and looks chubbier. He must be happy.” He said sarcastically in which resulting Donghae to becomes insecure with his looks and lowered his head.

If only Hyukjae knew…

Heechul throwing his death-glare to Hyukjae. Oh, how his mouth is so itchy to tell the man about the truth and makes him shame but he doesn’t want to do it because Donghae seems didn’t like it. With a deep sigh, they started the second mediation.

“So… do you change your mind, Hyukjae?”

Hyukjae looked at Heechul with a big eyes that looked like asking him are you crazy, Kim Heechul? But he didn’t say anything besides, “Not even a bit. I still in my first answer.”

Heechul turned his head to Donghae who looks like upset, sad, and wants to run out of the room. He wants to hug him but he can’t and he didn’t want to ask him the question but he has no choice.

“What about you, Donghae? Do you want to divorce from Hyukjae?”

Donghae looked at Hyukjae and out of his expectation, his soon to be ex-husband also looking at him. His lips was shivering and stuttered, “I… I…” Hyukjae was looking at him with crossed arms and chin raised highly. This is so different from Lee Hyukjae he used to know. “I give th-the decision to Hyukkie.” And he realised he made a mistake by calling him Hyukkie. It was one of his endearing calls for his husband and he shouldn’t use it now. “I-I mean… I’ll let H-Hyukjae-ssi to t-take the decision and agree to all o-of it.”

Donghae played his fingers, his habit if he is nervous. The words Hyukjae wants to hear has been said and Donghae doesn’t want to imagine the next step of them. He gives up to make Hyukjae stays by his side. He gives up to continue their two years marriage.  

“Are you sure, Donghae? I feel like you have something needs to be said.” Heechul tries to make Donghae to speak about his pregnancy. He has given the hint to Hyukjae by shifting his glare to Donghae’s tummy but the other is just too stupid to realise.

Donghae nods slowly and forced a smile. A fake smile to make everyone feels convinced. He tried to not cry by pinching his thigh.

“Okay, now I want to hear the cause of your problems until both of you want to divorce.” He looked at Hyukjae and the other seems so relax, which makes him want to hit him. “Lee Hyukjae, please wait outside. After Donghae, it will be your turn.”

Hyukjae obeys and closed the door. Leaving Heechul and Donghae in the big wide silent room.

“Can you explain to me about the truth, Donghae?” Heechul speaks softly, doesn’t want to pressure Donghae.

Donghae doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t feel he needed to explain and he also doesn’t want to say the truth. Not because he doesn’t love Hyukjae but it’s about the other. What’s the point of continuing their marriage if Hyukjae doesn’t want it?

“J-just… we don’t match anymore.”

“Why? I need stronger reason, Hae.” Heechul holds Donghae’s hand and squeezed it slightly. “Please tell me everything before you regret.”

Donghae looked at Heechul with watery eyes and bites his bottom lip before with his small voice, answering, “I don’t want him to hate me more. It’s okay for me i-if he wants to divorce. As long as he is happy.” And he doesn’t care with a fear that appears.

Donghae has made plans for his life after he divorced. He has thought about it but never told everyone. Even Kim Ryeowook.

Heechul widened his eyes when he heard that. He never expected Donghae will be this helpless and still being a stubborn man of he is. He looked at his tummy and Donghae’s eyes.

Twin babies.

Donghae played with his coat, looking at the floor which temporarily seems more interesting than anything else and whispered, “Don’t try to coax him anymore, hyung. I… don’t want him to hate me. I can handle this.”

And our babies.

Yeah, Donghae had thinking about it the whole nights before he slept. Somehow… he is sure Hyukjae will hate him even more if he found out Donghae is pregnant with their babies. He can’t bear with Hyukjae hates him and mocking him or mocking their babies.

But mostly, he can’t bear with Hyukjae’s reaction if he found out he –Lee Donghae– a male but pregnant. It will be entirely funny and shameful for Hyukjae, in Donghae’s opinion. Especially with his career growth right now which really successful, Hyukjae must be stressed if he hears about this.

What kind of male that can pregnant?

Not that Donghae feels shameful with his condition. In fact, he feels he is blessed to have twin to company him in the future. But Hyukjae must be not in the same thought.

Thinking about when they were together, Hyukjae would be uncomfortable if Donghae held his hand in public or did another romantic scenes. Hyukjae didn’t say anything but judged from his expression, Donghae knew Hyukjae felt bothered. His husband would be romantic only if they’re in home or special occasion.

Heechul feels his throat went dry. He didn’t know what to say and just dismissed Donghae. Asking him to wait outside or have some fresh air because he needs to talk to Hyukjae. Donghae didn’t say anything beside walking to the door slowly.

In the outside, Hyukjae was sitting while typing something on his phone. He raised his head when he heard the door being opened and showed Donghae’s figure. He kept his phone and stand but without prediction, his eyes caught on something weird in Donghae’s body. He looked at Donghae’s tummy which looked round and the way he walked was very slow as if he afraid he could fall. Donghae never walked that slow, he is careless.

This is unusual.

Hyukjae raised an eyebrow. Donghae indeed looks chubbier than before but is it really effect to his tummy? What did he eat until he becomes fat like that?

Hyukjae will keep standing outside if Heechul didn’t call him and asked him to enter the room. He quietly sat beside the guy and soon, Heechul started to his question.

“I need to know your problems with Donghae. Give me reasons why you want to divorce Hyukjae.”

Different from Donghae, Hyukjae is calm and relax. He even dare to return Heechul’s gaze and without stuttered he said, “He was too childish and I can’t handle it. I have many jobs and feeling stress over it but when I saw him, I can’t even feel at ease. He just made it worst by his childish acts and I don’t give a damn about his drama.”

“How childish?”

“He woke me up on 3 AM just for ing scrambled egg. He complained about me having too many jobs and it makes us hardly have quality times. He knows I’m clean-freak but yet, he forgot to wash the dishes and else.”

“Then, do you feel comfortable when you’re not beside him?”

Hyukjae thought about these weeks passed without Donghae. Heechul smirked when he saw Hyukjae was about to say something but closed his mouth but after five seconds, Hyukjae couldn’t say anything than, “Yes. I feel more relax.” And thinking about Henry, makes him smile because that guy is really helpful.

Heechul feels his mouth is itchy again with the urge to just spill the tea about Donghae’s condition. He can’t guarantee Lee Hyukjae will love to hear it but as the father of their babies, Hyukjae deserves to know. But again, he can’t do it if Donghae doesn’t want.

“I think you have to talk again with Donghae and make sure everything between both of you is clear.” Heechul smirks when Hyukjae looking at him with confusing gaze. “I mean… Make sure there is no secret that you might regret later on.”

Hyukjae looked at him curiously and he could feel there is something he doesn’t know. He didn’t notice when Heechul stood and asked Donghae to come in.

Heechul observing Hyukjae’s expression as Donghae walked in. He just sighed when he didn’t see something in Hyukjae’s eyes but choose to melt the awkwardness. He took out his banana milk and offer it to Donghae.

“Do you want? This tastes sweet and very healthy.”

Donghae quickly shook his head and move a bit further when Heechul opened the cap. He tried to calm himself from the urge to throw-up and none of them realise how Hyukjae looked at Donghae.

“Are you okay, Donghae?” Heechul asked.

“Yes, hyung.”

The mediation continued with Heechul kept giving them advices to continue their marriage, Hyukjae kept quiet but quite often to look at his watch, and Donghae lowered his head because he felt uncomfortable with the topic.

They ended up until 7 PM, a total of two hours being in mediation and like the first mediation, Hyukjae was the first one walked out from the room.

.

.

.

Soon, Hyukjae is drowning with his routine again. A bunch of schedules. There are lots of emails, reports, and he still has to go here and there to make sure everything will be fine. He keeps getting a lot of jobs and calls from other companies.

He quickly forgets about something weird of Donghae since he has a lot to think about and felt extremely tired everytime he remembers about his schedules. His mom and sister have been scolding him for God knows how many times but here he is, still stubborn and didn’t even care about his messed-up health.

Hyukjae yawned when he finally arrived in his apartment. Four A.M and he just got home after making sure to reply all the emails and check on the groups’ progress. He hasn’t eat anything since that afternoon but he is too lazy to cook for himself.

Hyukjae lays on his bed, smile widely when he felt the soft sheets and fluffy bed. He can sleep for about eight hours that day and it’s beyond good for someone like him. A rare proper rest.

He should have just switch-off his lamps and closed his eyes but suddenly, his gaze fell on the ring he placed on the bedside table. The ring he had taken off from his finger weeks ago. The special ring.

Unconciously, he reached for it and looking at what engraved inside.

Lee Donghae, 18^th July 2017.

“Why you have to put our wedding day?”

“So you’ll always remember since that day, you’re mine and you won’t forget about our special day.”

His thought flew back to the last mediation they had. He remembers he saw Donghae still wearing the ring. Their wedding ring. Hyukjae remembers he saw Donghae caressing the ring everytime he was nervous and how he looked like a lost puppy.

Hyukjae sighed. He put the ring back to the table and choose to force his eyes closed. His body is really tired and Donghae should be the last person he wants to think about. Hyukjae put aside all the questions about Donghae and choose to ignore the curiosity in his heart.

Hi!!!! I'm back kkk. The sprayed perfume in Hyukjae's apartment is a suggestion from my dear Kiwicolada and I think it's good since I also want to make Hyukjae suffer kkk (he will suffer, I promise this but don't know if the way he suffers will be all of your favorite or not kkk but I have thought about it) Sorry if you found so many mistakes and grammatically error and I hope you like it^^ and another news (I don't know if this will be a great or bad news hahaha) this fic seems 70% chances of  more than 10 chapters but don't wanna tell you guys yet of how many chapters it will be kkk. Have a nice weekends everyone, I'll update You and Me within this month, still in progress of editing, I still find it weird so I decided to not upload it yet kkk. Thank you for all the supports!^-^