Without even realizing, I get up on my feet, and the other person realizes my presence. “Oppa.” I mutter.

          It’s my older brother, Jaehan, dressed to the nine like he’s going to a board of directors meeting. He looks a bit surprised to see me, and he doesn’t even smile as he walks slowly to go to where I stand. “You cut your hair?”

          I clench my jaw. “Yeah. What are you doing here?”

          “I have a meeting with a client.”

          “On a weekend?”

          He pulls up a side of his mouth, and that smile looks smug and attempting to be pitiful at the same time. “Making money is tough.” he looks around, and takes a short glance at Chanyeol. “A date?”

          “No—” I reply quickly.

          “Anyway, I’ll get going. Go home once in awhile, Mom often asks. At least call her.” Jaehan says. “Bye.”

          He passes by, and I flatly look at the ground. Chanyeol follows Jaehan’s movements, and he looks half curious and half awkward. “Who…?”

          I slowly take a seat, and uncomfortably straighten my back. “It’s… My older brother.”

          Chanyeol furrows his brows. “Really? Him?” he tilts his head, a bit confused. “He doesn’t look like one…” he says, almost inaudible.

          “Why? Because of how stiff we are?” I form a bitter smile. Chanyeol looks at me silently for a couple of seconds, then I let my eyes down. “Let’s eat.”

          After the meal, we continue looking around and sometimes I need to remind Chanyeol that we’re here to find a present, not to try every eye-catching accessory seen and try to strike silly poses. He always shouts “Jia, look!” and waits for my reaction. He wasn’t like this before we had our lunch.

          Is it the sugar intake? Is he trying to make me laugh? I don’t know. But whatever he’s doing, I think it made me feel better a little. I fix the puppy ears headband he’s currently wearing, and chuckle. “This kind of fits you.”

          “Wow, you’re the first one who can reach my head level.” he sounds astonished for a second.

          “I tiptoed a bit.” I admit, and we laugh. We continue to walk around the shopping area, but I can’t help but feel a bit wary in case I meet Jaehan again.

          Finally Chanyeol decides on a pair of earrings, and he proudly looks at the little bag that looks even tinier on his hands. “She’s going to like it, right?”

          “Of course.” I affirm. “You picked it in an instant, I wasn’t even needed back then.”

          Chanyeol giggles. “Sorry. Right when I see it, I just fell for it.”

          “That happens. It shows that it’s meant to be.” I say while looking up, and notice dark grey clouds hovering above. The sky was pale when we entered the store, and it changed quite quickly.

          “Wow, I think it’s going to rain soon. Let’s hurry.” Chanyeol says. I nod, and we quicken our steps.

          Just a block before my apartment, it starts raining and it doesn’t even start with a drizzle but a full-on shower. Everyone on the street start running for shelter, and we brave the rain to dash our way to the building. We stop for a while at the front entrance, catching our breaths.

          Both of us are quite drenched from head to toe, and Chanyeol looks at the present he hid beneath his clothes. “It’s safe.”

          “Good to see.” I say. “Let’s go wait upstairs.”

          I invite Chanyeol to go to my unit to dry his clothes, and I ponder over my decision to do so once we’re inside. “Um… You can hang your clothes in front of this.” I say, arranging a makeshift dryer with a portable heater. “As for your pants… Maybe you can use the hairdryer?”

          Chanyeol smiles in amusement. “Got it.”

          I go to my bedroom to change, and when I get back to the living room, Chanyeol is pointing the hairdryer to his lower body while standing with a serious face. He’s wearing a short-sleeved white inner shirt. He turns off the hairdryer, and sits down to the floor. “Wow, my body aches.”

          “Do it while sitting down.” I suggest as I walk to the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?”

          “It would be nice. Thank you.” Chanyeol responds.

          I come back bringing two mugs, and sit near him on the floor next to the table. “It’s drying?”

          “Yeah, almost. It’s a good thing that the rain only wetted the outer part.”

          For some time, there are only the sounds of the rain and the heater softly buzzing. Chanyeol sips the tea, and sighs like an old man as he looks at the window. “Whoa. It’s showering.”

          I nod. “Been sometime since the last time it did.”

          Chanyeol stretches his back, and looks around. “Your roommate’s coming home?”

          “Yes. As always.”

          There’s a few seconds of silence, then I see Chanyeol moving on his seat. “About the man we met… Was it really your older brother?”

          I smile a little. “Is it that hard to believe?”

          “That’s not it…”

          I’m recalling the short talk I had with Jaehan, and I exhale. Maybe Chanyeol heard and concluded something from it. My smile slowly fades, and I fidget with the mug holder.

          A lightning strikes, and I close my eyes. A deafening thunder follows afterwards and I squish my shoulders in fear. A second later, the lights go off and the source of light is only from the window. I check the electric switchboard, and the blackout seems to occur all over the building.

          “Whew…” Chanyeol exhales. He stares at the bedroom doors behind me, looking like he’s thinking. “Do you sleep with lights on or off?”

          “Huh?” I blink. “Oh… Lights on, usually. But when I have difficulty sleeping, I turn it off. It helps a bit.”

          “So why don’t you sleep well nowadays? But if you’re not comfortable telling me, it’s okay. Let’s talk about something else.”

          I lean my back to the sofa behind me, and cross my legs. “I guess it’s my own fault. I overthink things.”

          Chanyeol’s half-lit face focuses on me, and I look at my lap. “Well… As you saw earlier… My brother and I looked awkward, right?” I laugh a little. “He’s my family’s pride. He went to the best university in the country, graduated with excellent scores, and now has a very good job. My parents want me to do the same. But when I got accepted to our school, they were disappointed.”

          “What’s wrong with our school? Isn’t it a good university?” Chanyeol furrows his brows.

          “Yes, but is it the best?” I ask back, and Chanyeol closes his lips.

          I look longingly at the rain, and heave a deep sigh. “No matter what I do, I can’t meet my parents’ expectations. I started my own business, but they don’t seem to approve. I get decent grades, but they don’t look happy. I keep thinking, what should I do?”

          “But you’re doing well with Allegra… And you were chosen to be a model for our school… And I’m sure you have many other accomplishments I have yet to know.” Chanyeol says.

          I shake my head, and scoff. “It doesn’t matter. I’m invisible as long as I haven’t achieved what my brother did.”

          Little thunders come continuously, and I flick my fingers. “The distance of my house and school is quite far so I decided to live separately—it was a chance. But I’m sometimes at my lowest point, thus the sleeping problems. It gets better, but—”

          My throat feels blocked, and I blink. “It doesn’t stop there. When I succeed to sleep, there are dreams.”

          “Nightmares?” Chanyeol guesses.

          “No. Good dreams, actually. There are people I love. But they aren’t in this world anymore.”

          Chanyeol’s face gradually turns solemn.

          “My late grandparents visited me often. They accepted me for who I am. So even though it was a good dream, it hurts when I wake up. So I’d rather not dream, if it’s possible.”

          Talking about this make me choke up, and I press my lips tightly, attempting to stop the tears.

          The lights just have to get back on at this time, and I look away so Chanyeol can’t see me. I hear him moving, but I’m too busy trying not to cry. In the end a drop of tear falls to the side of my face as I look up to the ceiling.

          Before I can wipe it, Chanyeol appears right in front of me, and he kneels as he gently presses a folded tissue to my face.

          “Don’t cry… It will be okay.”