Taeyong found himself sitting alone in his car, after driving for hours without destination—which was a rare opportunity since Hyemi went travelling to Europe countries. He ended up parking near your house. His eyes were locked at one spot, where he could see a car that looks like Doyoung’s parked right in front of your gate. Sometimes he liked to say to himself that it wasn’t Doyoung’s car. There were many people own a car like Doyoung’s. Maybe it was just one of your relatives, he suggested to himself.

He knew he was being nonsense. Because you and Doyoung appeared walking from the other direction on the street, then both of you went in to your home. He thought Doyoung was about to go home as the time shown was almost midnight. Yet there was no sign of Doyoung coming out from your house. Taeyong was getting restless. He kept looking at your contact in his phone, thinking whether or not he should call you and tell you that he was there. Who knows, you would still answer his calls. Who knows, you would still see him although Doyoung was literally by your side. But in the end, Taeyong lost that courage. Even if you answered his call, what would he say to you? Even if you went out to see him, what could he tell, other than sorry and… ‘don’t get married with Doyoung’?

Taeyong sighed heavily. It seemed like he couldn’t stand it seeing you and Doyoung. He was just sure if you did come see him, Doyoung must be going with you. That thoughts alone were already torture for him. Yet he was quite stupid to let himself drown in those thoughts, and he buried his head under his arms, leaning on the steering wheel.

Why can’t he just go home, or get drunk, or anything but being a fool and a creep like this, waiting outside for hours and it was for nothing?

It was only counting seconds to dawn. Doyoung’s car was still there. And so was Taeyong. The thoughts of you and Doyoung consumed his emotion even more. 'There is really no chance for me, is there?’ he sadly said to himself. 'But why do I keep finding myself coming back here?’

❄ — what happened in the house

Doyoung had been a regular visitor of your house whenever he can stop by. And this whenever had escalated from every weekend to almost everyday. It was either he really came to see you, or to see your parents, in which they welcomed him lovingly. They were really pleased with him and you were just amazed.

That day he had been staying at your house since morning, spending his time playing chess with your father, then helping your mother preparing for lunch and dinner. He even went for grocery shopping on behalf of your mother who forced you to accompany him. And finally on the evening after dinner, he spared all his time for you. Your parents were very 'understanding’ as they let him linger in your room with the door closed.

“Uh, Mom? You don’t have to shut the door. We can leave it open,” you said loudly with one eyebrow curved upwards.

“We don’t want to disturb you, honey,” she replied softly. Way softer than usual. “Doyoung sweetie, make yourself at home, okay?”

He showed his friendly smile and said yes before your mother really closed the door.

You shrugged as you shook in confusion. Sometimes being with Doyoung like this actually favored you in some way, particularly your mom would nag less now. And thankfully Doyoung didn’t take that nagging role. She must have been longing for a son after putting up with you and your sister, you thought.

You chose a spot on the corner of your bed to sit, hugging a big plushie. Doyoung sat on the other edge. Silence were accompanying you for a while until he his music player just for a backsound.

“I think I owe you an apology, I just made our relationship with Taeyong a lot worse,” he started.

“Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah, kind of. But things didn’t go too well.”

You knew it. It won’t be easy for Taeyong to accept this no matter how he got the information. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“And it’s not yours either.” He scooted closer to you. “I don’t want to see you blaming yourself. It’s not only your loss or my loss. It’s his too.”

You looked at him wordlessly. Sometimes you were amazed at how he could read your mind and say everything that comforts you. You were happy enough that it was him. You shared pretty much stuff in common. You had different preferences on some things but both of you can compromise. This was something you were not sure whether you can have it with Taeyong. Let alone your feelings to him. But to think that you ruined the friendship with Taeyong because you chose Doyoung, you still felt the urge to find someone to blame; yourself.

Doyoung’s hand was slowly sneaking its way to reach yours when you heard the door knocked loudly, which made him jump a little and quickly retreat his hand. Feeling his cheeks blushed and heated up, he brushed his fringe groggily, and of course you were oblivious to see that.

Your mother popped up her head on your door. “Who wants ice cream?”

“Uh, nobody?” you answered in uncertainty. “Mom, it’s winter. Hot chocolate is more like it?”

“Well, your father does.” It turned out that it was just her trick to get you buy it at the convenience store nearby.

“I like ice cream in winter too,” Doyoung interrupted before you talk back to your mother. “I’ll go buy some, Auntie.”

Your mother flashed a meaningful smile at him. “I know we make a right decision adopting you in this family, Doyoung.”

“Adopt?” You repeated after your mother while squinting your eyes.

“Honey, go with him,” she commanded.

On the way home, you noticed Doyoung was acting odd. Yet you didn’t have enough interest to ask him what could be going on. Little did you know, Doyoung seemed to be in his alert mode looking left and right when it was only a few steps away from your house. He was being more conscious, just in case Taeyong was around. Somehow his intuition suggested that Taeyong wouldn’t give up easily. Taeyong’s feelings were too deep to be ignored.

“Doyoung?” you called as Doyoung lost his focus while scanning the surrounding. “Aren’t you going in? The ice cream will melt.”

“Yeah, coming right up.” He looked around once more before going in to your house. His eyes had caught some cars parked around the neighborhood. The possibility of Taeyong being in one of those cars was a wild guess Doyoung had in mind. It was very possible indeed. He just wished Taeyong would come out, then maybe, have a talk with the three of you? That was ridiculous, he acknowledged.

Then when you went back to your room, an extra mattress and blanket was already prepared beside your bed. You were not even married yet and this was how your mother treats Doyoung? Your mother was indeed a cool mom. No regular mom would let a guy sleep in the same room with their daughters.

“Your parents are going for vacation to Japan, right? You can stay here until they come back. Better to have meals with us than alone.” That was what your mother said to him. He didn’t say yes but only nodded awkwardly. However his wide grin only showed his glee expression rather than his meme-ish panic face.

You took a seat on the mattress. “Are you going to see Taeyong again?”

Of course, Taeyong is brought up again. It was impossible for Doyoung not to think about that. But he knew it was inevitable. Doyoung smiled as he sat beside you. “If he wants to.”

“It would be great if you meet and try to talk to him again,” you said softly.

“Jooyeon, why can’t you accept him?” he asked after gathering his courage. It had been a while since the last time he discusses these Taeyong-related stuff with you. He and you had always too focused on how to tell him and try to make him understand. You never really talked about your feelings towards him. All he understood was you simply thought him as a friend. He was certain that you probably had a more detailed reason why. “What makes you think you can’t picture yourself together with him? Your love for him is, I don’t know, like… it’s beyond anything.”

You smiled weakly. “Loving him doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be together with him in romantic relationship, does it? Look at us now. We end up together when we don’t love each other that way. Maybe it is us that are meant to be.”

Doyoung kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t deny your words.

“‘Being meant to be’. Staying as friends counts too, right? It’s a good thing for me, but apparently not for him,” you continued. Glancing at Doyoung, you inhaled deeply. “Taeyong can be quite possessive, and controlling, if that’s not too harsh to say. If I became 'his’ girlfriend, he could be demanding. I know this from his previous relationship before Hyemi. We had quite a quarrel about that, since I couldn’t help but nagging at him that he shouldn’t do that. It didn’t end up too well for them.”

You paused. You noticed Doyoung looking very serious. He seemed to be waiting for you to finish your story before giving any response.

“I can’t imagine if I have to lose him like that because, you know, my emotional state can be roller coaster. I don’t like being controlled. I don’t like being told to do this or that because I’m 'his’ girlfriend. I don’t like the idea of tagging or being tagged along anywhere anytime just because I’m 'his’ girlfriend. Yeah, he could play that 'but I’m your boyfriend’ card, which could be the start of things going wrong. I don’t want it to happen.”

“Then how are you sure I’m not like that?”

“That’s why I asked you in the first place, whether you have any expectation from your 'Mrs. Kim’, or anything you want to do with your 'Mrs. Kim’. Basically anything that has to do with that 'Mrs. Kim’ as your wife,” you said, giving his hand a few hard pats. “Then you said that’s not the case for us, which I assumed as a no. I appreciate that, for not making the label of Kim Doyoung’s wife to subject to you as husband.”

His lips started to draw a smile hearing you.

“So, Kim Doyoung,” you firmly called his name, with your eyes shooting laser at his. “I swear I will kill you if you pull 'but I’m your fiance or husband’ card.”

Doyoung chuckled at your threat. “But I am your soon to be husband?” he mocked you. You slapped his thigh hard as you glared at him. He laughed it off, which you joined the laughter immediately. Indeed, Doyoung was something. Especially when the mutual feelings didn’t involve any romance, and only filled by pure friendship, somehow it felt more comfortable for you. You were genuinely grateful at how he always emphasized your friendship with him.

“Let’s just sleep. I will drive you tomorrow,” he said as he grabbed the blanket and started to set up the pillows.

“I thought you’re going home?” you asked in confusion. This guy got comfortable easily, huh?

“Jooyeon, your mother literally allowed me to stay and she prepared this mattress, pillows and blanket for me.”

“I thought you said no?”

“When did I?” He was ready to start bickering against you. He knew when the game was on, you were no match for him.

“But you didn’t say yes either.”

“I bet I will be the first one to be looked for by your mom in the morning. Imagine how sad your parents will be if I’m not here in the morning.”

“Ho ho, we do not play favorite in this house, young man.”

Thankfully your mom suddenly knocked the door again before you both going for each other’s neck. She flashed a wide loving smile, not at you of course, but to her soon to be son-in-law. “I’ll put a water jug here, so you don’t have to go outside for drink, okay?”

“Thank you, Auntie,” Doyoung said, smirking at you.

“Good night and sweet dreams, children,” she said as she closed your door.

Rolling your eyes, you climbed to your bed and laid down. Your eyes were fixed on the ceilings, while your mind was just wandering around and sometimes thinking about nothing. “I can’t sleep,” you muttered.

Doyoung didn’t respond. So you flipped to lie on your side, now facing at the bed side where Doyoung’s mattress was placed. You could see he was already shutting his eyes.

“Anyway, I like your bedroom,” you mumbled, testing whether he had already gone to his dream land or not.

“I’m planning to move next month,” he replied. “Join me?”

“You’re seriously helping my mom kick me out of this house, huh?”