Finally, came the day when the last boxes of your stuff had officially moved in to the future house. Nobody was thrilled more than your parents. The big day was really coming and your stomach felt funny. Nervous? Yes, definitely. Ecstatic? Excited? Nah, you were not even sure about that.

After arranging your stuff with typical bickering with the soon-to-be husband, you and Doyoung ended the long day with a big portion of ramyun. He was satisfied looking at the new feeling of his home. The shared closet filled with clothes in similar range of color, shoe drawer that was dominated by your collection of flat shoes, mules and heels, kitchen and dining supplies—including a newly bought tea set, last but not least was the make-up and dressing table full of skin care products.

“The boys want to throw a welcoming party for you,” told him before starting digging in. “For being the new member of this apartment complex, they said.”

“You don’t mean a housewarming party in this house, right?”

He chuckled. He definitely read your mind and your horrified expression that you didn’t want to do the cleaning after a mess from an occasion with a pack of people. “No. Yuta is booking a restaurant nearby. How about this Sunday? Is that okay with you?”

You nodded, feeling relieved. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Great. I’ll let them know.”

“Anyway, Doyoung?”

“Yes?”

“Did Taeyong call you?”

Doyoung was stunned. He had to control his facial expression and his emotion. Thank goodness that he and you had finished eating. Clearing his throat, he started to tidy up the dining table and headed to the sink. “Why?” he asked, his back facing you as he started to wash the ramyun pot.

“Well, I met him, and we talked a bit. I guess he’s ready to.. you know, to sort some things up between us. I haven’t heard from him again. Did he contact you?”

It takes several days for you to tell me? he said in his head. “Ah, yeah, he did yesterday. We’re meeting tomorrow.”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.”

“I hope it will go well for you. Both of you.”

“Wish me luck, I guess?”

“Of course,” you assured him, your voice sounded delighted.

No. Really, wish me luck so I will be the lucky one to get to be with you.

Even the fact that you had decided to move in still couldn’t gave him that confidence. He still felt the insecurity consuming him whenever the thought of Taeyong came to his mind.

ㅡ ❆

The dinner with the guys this weekend would remark as the first event after Taeyong finally stopped avoiding you and Doyoung. Hopefully it could be a fresh start for the three of you. You assumed these bestfriends had made up. Although it was inevitable to be the same like the old times, you still wished that things would return to normal.

“Everything will be alright, right?” you asked Doyoung for assurance before heading out. It was funny how you felt nervous to meet your own squad, but as Doyoung’s ‘housemate’.

“Of course. I’ve got your back.” He pat your shoulder.

On your way to the restaurant which you decided to go on foot, you were blabbering non-stop about this and that and all random things to overcome the nervousness. Probably it was irritating Doyoung’s ears as he didn’t respond much. “Okay. Here goes nothing,” you spoke to yourself, breathing in deeply before pushing open the restaurant door.

When you arrived, there were Yuta, Johnny and his girlfriend, Jaehyun, Mark, Donghyuk, Jaemin, Jeno, Sooyoung, and Seulgi already sitting, chattering, and devouring the appetizer. Yuta was the first to welcome you with his loud personality when he saw you by the door. Just then, Taeyong appeared from toilet and he made eye contact with you and Doyoung. You were about to say hi to him, yet he chose to go directly back to his chair. You spotted the empty seat beside Taeyong, so you naturally went there. Doyoung followed and sat down next to you, feeling restless.

“Now that Jooyeon is here, should we cheer for Mr. and soon-to-be Mrs. Kim Doyoung?” Yuta excitedly lead the group for a toast. The mood was instantly liven up, thanks to him. After the first toast, all of you continued to eat.

When you were scanning all the food on the table, Jaehyun offered you a basket of seafood platter, which taken by Taeyong instead. He took the remaining fried fish fillet and put them on your plate, leaving the shrimp and calamari on the basket. You looked at him, not saying anything but he got you. “You’re allergic to prawn and you don’t like squid.”

You drew a sincere smile. The fact that he still remembered your eating habit somehow made you feel touched. “Thank you,” you almost squealed.

Doyoung silently watched and observed what just happened. Suddenly a bitter taste crept up his mouth although he was munching some baked sweet potato. His appetite was slowly decreasing as he couldn’t help but to witness the affection Taeyong showered you.

Taeyong would always picked a food that he thinks you would like. He would make sure that the food he put on your plate didn’t contain some ingredients that you disliked. He would check if the food taste spicy or not before he gave some to you. He even switched the chocolate pudding he got for you when everybody knew that it was his favorite dessert.

For Doyoung, this dinner felt like a soft torture he had to endure. He felt powerless. It didn’t feel like he was your fiancee. It was like just he was being there as your regular friend. Yes, you were the star of tonight. Being a good friend and partner as you thought you were, you would still talk to him and shared some food, even feeding him with your hand. But Doyoung knew you paid more attention to Taeyong. You were all ears listening attentively to whatever Taeyong was talking about. This bestfriend of yours didn’t even steal the spotlight for tonight. Yet he got your fullest attention. And it was shown in his sparkly eyes, how he was comfortably enjoying your company.

“You didn’t eat much. Are you sick?” you asked when you arrived home.

“I’m fine.”

“Want me to cook something for you?” You checked the fridge only to find eggs and some side dishes from Doyoung’s mom. “Toast with eggs?” you offered.

“That would be nice.”

While waiting for his food, his mind recalled his meeting with Taeyong.

'I assume you already know that Hyemi and I are over,’ Taeyong started. 'I’ve told Jooyeon about that too.’
'I want to say I’m sorry, but I guess that’s not the case for you. Am I right?’ Doyoung responded calmly.
'You’re right.’
'Look, I’m sorry for the way I was. You know how much I value you as a friend. You’re very precious for me. And so is she. I’m not gonna lie it still hurts watching her with you. But I guess, I just have to deal with it and overcome it, right?’
'I’d appreciate it. Really.’ But, really, how do you deal with it, Taeyong?
'Sometimes I wish you or Johnny were a girl. I’d definitely choose you or him over anything.’
The bunny guy tried to laugh without sounded fake. Or awkward. At least Taeyong had tried to make a joke about this already.

Doyoung mindlessly sighed. Although Taeyong didn’t say anything weird, what if he tries to win you again this time?

“Did everything go well with Taeyong?” you asked, distracting him and snapping him out of his own thinking.

Getting a yes or no question from you had never been easier. “Yeah, of course,” he quickly answered. Without even thinking.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Soon you joined him on the couch with his toast.

He silently finished the toast, whereas you occupied yourself watching TV beside him. It was oddly quiet. Although you did wonder what might happen with Doyoung, and particularly how his conversation went with Taeyong, you didn’t ask him. You didn’t tell him what happened when you met Taeyong the other night either. Not telling each other might be a wise choice. Yet not even a single thought crossed your mind that he felt bothered by the fact you and Taeyong had made up.

“Let’s go to sleep.” Doyoung got up and put the plate on the sink. He sent you off to the bedroom first.

You had settled under the blanket on the bed while Doyoung was brushing his teeth. Your eyes were shut, trying to sleep but Doyoung’s arms sneaking to your waist made you startled and flinched that you abruptly opened your eyes again.

“Sorry. Did I wake you up?” he softly muttered. His fingers traced your hairline and tucked some hair strands behind your ear.

“No,” you mumbled, repositioning your head as you could feel his attempt to shift closer to you.

You wanted to close your eyes again. Yet the way Doyoung intensely stared at you made you uneasy, you had to look away or look at the striped pattern of his pajamas. A part of you was afraid of what he might do if you close your eyes, particularly in this position where you were locked around his arms.

“Do you regret anything until now?”

You squirmed, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Why would I?”

Because there is another man who loves you unconditionally and selflessly. He can make you happy, if you want to be with him. Because he is Lee Taeyong.

Doyoung didn’t answer you back. Instead he was brushing your hair gently. Until his hand stopped at the back of your neck. “Just because,” he said, before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. Then he continued to peck your blushing cheek. He inhaled before he moved closer until his lips were only few centimeters away from yours. “Can I?” he whispered.

You gulped. Your heart was beating like crazy.

This guy was not kidding when he said there is no turning back.

You were contemplating whether to say yes or no. In your mind, both answers would result in awkward outcomes. What happened to 'living with a friend’ and 'a roommate sharing a house with’? What kind of roommate who is a friend that do this such an intimate thing?

Oh, wait. Right. Kim Doyoung was not just a friend anymore.

Your eyes were quivering, slightly glancing back and forth at his eyes, his nose, then his lips. Meanwhile he was patiently waiting for your permission, staying still at where he was. You had no idea how your facial expression looked like in his eyes. Was it confused expression? Or maybe terrified? Or even disgusted? That he finally said, “It’s okay if I can’t.” with a little smile made you even more puzzled. Yet the courage in you suddenly popped up.

“It’s not that you can’t…” you shyly and hesitantly mumbled, your fist slightly cover your mouth.

The smile on Doyoung’s face was getting bigger. “Then it means I can?”

“You said you wanted.. to.. try again..” You couldn’t believe you said that. Never had you wanted to be buried alive, or suffocated yourself against the pillow due to embarrassment like this.

Moving away from your neck, his hand reached yours and squeezed it a bit to make it more relaxed. He gestured to guide your hand to hold on to his slim waist, or his back if you wanted. “We’re taking it slow, okay?” he whispered as his palm found the back of your neck again. As he leaned in closer, you closed your eyes in panic, just like the first time. You would just let him take the lead because you were already dying from being embarrassed although this is not the first time.

In seconds, his lips finally met yours. Properly, this time. It was a gentle kiss, not particularly a short one since he took a good time to feel the softness of your lips. As if he wanted to preserve the taste of your lips, and at the same time, he wanted you to remember the shape of his lips too. Along with the feelings and the quiet atmosphere when you were just focusing on each other. It was far from a passionate or a hungry kiss as he didn’t want to scare you. At least he was hoping it was good enough to make you get used to this.

You almost forgot how to breathe, having no idea how long the kiss lasted. It felt like forever honestly, although it didn’t mean you found the kiss awful, or unpleasant. It was just weird to kiss, to be kissed romantically by your very own friend. Maybe you should try to get rid of this kind of thoughts, especially Doyoung will be your husband in a matter of weeks.

He finally released your lips for a breathe of air. Yet he didn’t shift away as he still had his nose and forehead against yours. “How was it? Not very bad for the second time, right?”

Unable to look at him in the eyes, you curled your body and buried your face, snuggling against his chest. “Stop asking how it was right away after we did it,” you whined, giving playful slaps while he chuckled at your reaction.