Hyejin rolled her eyes as she watched Yongsun rummage through her closet.

“Should I wear a skirt?” Yongsun asked, looking at Hyejin, who just passively looked at her.

“That look you are giving me is not helping.”

“You said it’s not a date.” Hyejin crossed her arms.

“It’s not.” Yongsun’s voice was muffled as she dug deeper.

“Then why are you acting like that?”

“Because I need to find clothes that are comfortable enough.”

“Really?” Hyejin asked her, right eyebrow raised.

“Yes.”

“Then wear your pajamas.”

Yongsun stopped rummaging and looked at Hyejin, who was fake checking her nails.

Yongsun stomped her feet as she walked to her bed, where Hyejin was sitting.

“Hyejin, just, please, I really need your help.”

Hyejin sighed as she looked at Yongsun, who looked helpless.

“Where did she say she’s taking you?”

“She just said outside. Where I can breathe fresh air.” Yongsun said.

Hyejin stood up and rummaged through the pile of clothes Yongsun threw earlier.

“This should do.”

A pair of skinny jeans and a white printed shirt.

“That simple?” Yongsun asked, looking at the clothes Hyejin was holding.

“Yep. Simplicity is beauty. And besides, if it is in the middle of nowhere, this would be a y and covered enough outfit you can wear. Match it with your vans shoe.”

“Okay, I think your right. I just have to tuck the shirt.”

Yongsun stood up, folded the clothes she had thrown earlier, and put them back in her closet.

“It’s quite amusing seeing you like this,” Hyejin said as she watched Yongsun clean up her mess.

“Like what?”

“Like that.” Hyejin motioned her hand towards her.

“You are always organized with your things and confident that you never bother to pick your clothes meticulously. But now, just because this “Byulyi” of yours asked you out to breathe, you turn into a mess.”

Hyejin said, air quoting and emphasizing the nickname Yongsun uses to call Byul.

“It’s not much of a big deal,” Yongsun said, brushing it off.

“If you say so.” Hyejin flopped back into Yongsun’s bed.

“Do you still need me for your hair and make-up?” Hyejin said, purely teasing her, but Yongsun nodded at her eagerly.

 

Five minutes before four PM, Byul is already in front of Yongsun’s house. She would repeatedly try to fix her hair. Worried if she smells good enough or looks good enough. Then she would remind herself that they were just going to hang out. It’s not a date. But she is still nervous, and it is driving her crazy.

Byul rang the doorbell and was surprised to see Hyejin open it.

“Come on inside.” She motioned Byul to enter the house.

“Yongsun is upstairs. I’ll just call her. Have a sit.”

Byul went in and sat on the sofa. Her nervousness was amplified when she heard Yongsun’s voice talking to Hyejin. She heard a couple of footsteps. She stood up and turned to look at the stairs.

She was stunned, to say the least, when she saw the most beautiful creature God had ever made descending the stairs.

Her fit was simple. High waist skinny jeans, white printed shirt tucked in, and vans shoes. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, exposing her neck and face. She was also wearing simple make-up but much more noticeable than she would typically wear at school.

Yongsun looked simply gorgeous.

Byul’s breath hitched when Yongsun approached her and said hello. As cliché as it may sound, she can see nothing but Yongsun. The beautiful, smiling Yongsun.

Yongsun tapped Byul’s shoulder when she didn’t respond to her initial greeting.

Byul took a deep breath. “Y-you look beautiful.”

Yongsun shyly smiled at her. “And you’re charming as always.”

Byul shyly scratched her neck and looked down.

Yongsun bit her lip as she studied her. She’s wearing a button-down shirt with sleeves rolled up to her elbows. The two top buttons were loose. It was tucked in tight black jeans paired with black leather boots. Her fit and slight smile made her look a hundred times more charming.

She looks absolutely handsome.

Although Hyejin enjoyed watching them, she cleared before she spoke. “Aren’t you guys going somewhere?”

They looked at her, realizing they were not the only person in the room.

Byul motioned her hand. “let’s go?”

Yongsun smiled at her and started to walk out of the house. Byul got a whiff of her perfume and instinctively closed her eyes. Yongsun smells amazing. She sighed as she followed her out.

 

“So, where exactly are we going?” Yongsun asked.

Byul glanced at her and gave her a small smile. “You’ll see.”

They drove for roughly thirty minutes, and Yongsun realized they were heading to the city's outskirts. Byul turned into a dirt road up into a hill. She parked her car under a big old tree.

“Is this the place where you are going to murder me?” Yongsun playfully asked Byul with squinted eyes.

Byul looked at her and gave her a smirk. She went out and opened the door for Yongsun. She walks to the back of the truck, retrieving two baskets.

“Do you need help with those?” Yongsun asked her eyeing the baskets.

“No. I can manage.” Byul looked at her and motioned her head at a footwalk on their left. “Let’s go.”

They walked side by side, and Yongsun couldn’t help but wonder her eyes around. The trees were so tall and healthy. Their branches are so thick with leaves that it completely covers them from the sun. She closed her eyes when a fresh, cool breeze brushed her skin. She took a lung full of air, and it just felt amazing. A satisfied smile crept into her face. She opened her eyes and looked at Byul, who seemed so relaxed. She snakes her arm around Byul’s, prompting the latter to look at her. Yongsun gave her a soft smile. Byul cleared and looked away as she moved closer to Yongsun. Yongsun bit her lip in an attempt to stop herself from smiling so much.

“What are those baskets for?”

“These are where I put your body after I chop you.”

Yongsun exaggeratedly gasped and hit Byul’s arm.

“You could’ve at least decorated it.”

Byul Lowly chuckled. She glanced at Yongsun. “I was kind of expecting you to run. You really do trust me.”

“I do trust you, Byulyi.”

Byul gave her a small smile.

After a while, Yongsun spoke again.

“Are we there yet?”

“No.” Byul lied despite knowing they were already there.

“We’ve been walking for quite some time,” Yongsun whined.

Byul rolled her eyes. “We are walking for roughly five minutes.”

Yongsun was about to banter when she saw what was ahead of them. She ran ahead of them and to a clearing with wildflowers in the middle of the woods. She gasped as she took a good look at the place. She then turned to Byul, who had just stepped beside her. Byul looked at her with a small smile, making Yongsun much giddier. She squealed as she ran in the middle prompting the resting butterflies and moths to fly around.

Byul watched her as she giggled and ran while being surrounded by butterflies. That brought a genuine smile to her. Seeing Yongsun’s bright smile in that beautiful clearing made her feel in awe. It made her feel so good that she was somehow the reason for it.

Byul walked through the clearing and went under a tree on top of a small hill. She called for Yongsun as she settled the baskets.

Yong came running towards her with a bright smile. Byul walked towards her to meet her and motioned for her to stop. Yongsun halted and looked at her, confused.

“Why?” She asked, looking so cute.

“Close your eyes,” Byul said with a toothy grin.

Yongsun squinted her eyes at her before she eventually did what Byul asked her to do.

Byul went behind her and held her shoulders as she led her to walk. Yongsun’s heart rate increased at their close proximity. She can actually feel Byul’s body heat, giving her a weird tingling sensation in her stomach.

They slowly took a few steps and stopped when they reached the top of the hill. Byul went beside Yongsun as she told her softly to open her eyes.

Yongsun slowly opens her eyes, and Byul relishes as the look of confusion on Yongsun’s face is replaced by amazement.

“How did you know about this place?” Yongsun asked her, eyes still fixed on the view in front of her.

“I just happen to stumble upon this place,” Byul answered as she unfolded two blankets and laid them out. She sat there and opened the baskets and put out their contents. Yongsun sat beside her and took a deep happy sigh.

Byul leaned on her hands, stretched her legs, and closed her eyes. Yongsun did the same, and they were silent for a while, relishing the cold breeze and the comfort of each other’s company until Yongsun’s stomach made a sound.

Byul, still eyes closed, lowly chuckled, making Yongsun blush out of embarrassment. She opened her eyes, turned to the side, and took the plastic wares she had taken earlier from the baskets. She opened it and took the contents out individually; it contained sandwiches, kimchi, and tteakbokki. She also took two cups of ramens and a thermos.

Yongsun stared in awe. Did Byulyi prepare all of this? Now that she thought about it, they are having a picnic, just the two of them, in a beautiful place.

It almost seemed like they were on a romantic date.

Yongsun blushed at that thought.

Byul poured hot water into the cup of ramen and set it aside. She offered a sandwich to Yongsun, she took it with a grateful smile, and they ate in silence.

Yongsun looked at Byul and couldn’t help but silently giggle at how adorable she looked. She was munching her sandwich with her legs stretched out and her feet swaying.

So… She loves tuna sandwich, huh.

“Did you prepare all this?”

Byul looked at her, swallowing her food before she answered.

“Nope.” She shook her head.

Gosh. So Cute.

“I asked for Wheenie’s help.”

Yongsun hummed.

“How did you know this place?” Yongsun asked curiously.

Byul looked at the lake as she contemplated her answer. She then sighed and looked at Yongsun.

“Remember the pathway we took earlier?”

Yongsun nodded.

“There’s another pathway leading into the other side of the woods. There’s an abandoned cabin there.” Byul took the cup of ramen and peeled off its lid. She gave Yongsun hers with a chopstick while she stirred her own mindlessly.

“Before Hani inherited her parent’s house, Jin and Ken used to stay in that abandoned cabin. After they left, we still maintained it. It is where I stay whenever I run away from home.”

Yongsun looked at the ramen in her hand as she bit her lip. “When do you do that?” She asked quietly.

Byul looked at her, a little confused.

“Running from home.” Yongsun cleared as she stared at her.

“Whenever I got caught in serious trouble. I stay at that cabin to cool off and … heal.”

Byul couldn’t take Yongsun’s gaze, so she looked at her ramen and blew it.

“Alone?”

Byul slightly nods. “Alone.”

There was no conversation after that. Just the two of them enjoying the place and their food. When they finished eating, Byul put all the containers back in the basket.

Yongsun turned to look at the clearing as the sun started to set.

“So, how exactly did you find the place,” Yongsun asked the third time.

“There was this one time I stayed at the cabin and went out to jog. I stumbled upon this place. Since then, even if I am not staying there, I come here to think or to breathe.” Byul said while watching the butterflies fly from one flower to another.

Yongsun looked at her and watched her for a moment. Admiring how pretty, calm, and handsome she looked right now. Her eyes seemed so quiet, like a sea without a storm, her little pointy nose, her triangle-shaped mouth with a ghost of a smile lingering there while she watched the insects in the clearing. All of that made Yongsun’s heart skip a beat.

And she knows.

She just knows.

I’m doomed.

Yongsun sighed.

“Thank you.” She whispered but still loud enough for Byul to hear.

Byul looked at her, and her breath hitched at how ethereal Yongsun looked with those rays of sunlight hitting her soft skin, illuminating her. That one particular sunlight hitting directly at her eyes, making it light brown… She is the most beautiful scenery Byul has ever seen.

“Thank you for sharing this place with me.” Yongsun looked at her and gave her a smile.

She’s just so beautiful.

Byul just hummed as a response. She is just lost for words at that moment.

Yongsun has this invisible hold on her, so strong that she can’t do anything but just go with it. The tug she felt on her chest whenever the woman smiled at her, she knew that Yongsun had tied her up in the thing inside her chest that she thought was not functioning.

 

 

Eric felt a little lighter as he sat on the hood of his car in the parking lot. He now understood why Yongsun was adamant about spending time with that troublemaker. Earlier that day, he sauntered to Mr. Kim’s office to seek help. He would ask Mr. Kim to advise Yongsun to avoid that troublemaker. He was the guidance counselor. He knew all the wrong records that person had. But when Mr. Kim told him that he asked Yongsun’s help, that’s when he understood. It makes things clear for him.

 

Of course, the soft and kind-hearted Yongsun would always help whenever someone needed it. That troublemaker needs her help, and Mr. Kim asks her to help her. That’s why she’s doing it. She just needs to tame her. Befriending that troublemaker is one of Yongsun’s charity works.

Eric felt a sense of relief.

He looked up and saw a familiar car pull up not far from where he was.

Yongsun and Hyejin went out of the car smiling brightly and talking animatedly, seemingly excited and happy.

Yongsun is really beautiful.

He approached them, and Hyejin was the first one to notice him.

“…and then when we are walking back to the car, I told her I saw a lady in white in the woods. Byulyi’s face was epic.” Yongsun said, giggling uncontrollably.

Eric’s smile faltered upon hearing who was the topic of Yongsun’s story. As he reached them, he cleared his throat, which caught Yongsun’s attention. She turned to him, and Eric saw her beautiful smile falter.

It upsets him.

“Hi, Yongsun.” He greeted.

“Hello, Eric,” Yongsun said. The excitement in her voice earlier was gone.

“You guys going in? Can I walk with you?”

Yongsun shrugged her shoulders. “Sure.”

They were about to go when they heard a familiar voice Hyejin secretly loved.

“Hyejin!” Wheein was waving as she ran towards them.

“Let’s go!” She took Hyejin by the arm and skipped towards the school building, taking Hyejin with her.

“Hi.” Byul greeted Yongsun giving her a small smile.

“Hello,” Yongsun answered. “Wheenie got a lot of energy this morning.” She said, giggling.

Byul sighed. “She does. It pains me.”

Yongsun cackled, making Byul chuckle.

Eric cleared his throat to catch their attention. Byul turned to him and looked at him passively.

“Let’s go?” Yongsun asked Byul, and she just nodded as an answer.

“Why do we have to go in with her?” Eric asked, his voice full of irritation.

“Can you at least pretend to be nice to her even just for once, Eric?” Yongsun answered.

“I can. But I’ll never be as good as you do.”

 Byul looked at him, and he was wearing a smug grin.

If I could just punch that grin off his face.

“What do you mean?” Yongsun asked him, confused.

Eric looked at her. “I talked to Mr. Kim, and he told me the real reason why you tolerate this troublemaker.”

Yongsun knows where Eric is going with this, making her nervous.

Byul, on the other hand, started to feel dread creeping into her.

No. Please, not Yongsun.

Eric looked at her, his smug grin still plastered on his face. Byul stared him down, making him feel inferior and immensely annoying him.

He masked it all and took a step forward, making Yongsun instinctively hold Byul’s arm.

Eric scoffed. “Do you think Yongsun would genuinely want to be your friend?”

“Eric, Stop-“

“Mr. Kim asked Yongsun’s help to tame you. He asked Yongsun to look after you to keep you from doing the only thing you are good at. Making trouble.”

Yongsun’s eyes widened while Byul’s jaw clenched.

Is that true?

“That’s why he wanted you to be a part of the volunteer team so that Yongsun can easily look after you.” He smiled. “And it worked. I didn’t hear any more problems about you for the past months.”

Byul was silent.

Yongsun’s grasp around her arm tightened, making Byul look at her.

Yongsun was trying to come up with something to help her explain things better, but Byul’s stare overwhelmed her with dread and despair.

No. Please, Byulyi.

“Is it true?” Byul asked her in a monotone.

“Byulyi – “

“Is it true?” She asked the second time. Her breathing is getting heavy, anger is slowly rising within her, and Yongsun can feel it.

No.

“Yes. But there is more to it.”

Byul scoffed and gave her a sarcastic smirk.

Her eyes dilated as she looked at her with so many emotions, disappointment the most prominent. Anger can clearly be seen, escalating as the seconds go by. Yongsun can feel it, stabbing her directly in her heart.

“You’re good. I actually believed you.” She said in a low, calm tone that somehow sounded so menacing.

She darted her gaze towards Eric, who looked visibly uncomfortable and scared but still tried hard to stand firm. Byul smirked at him and took a couple of steps toward him.

“So that information is where your smugness is coming from… “ Byul glared at him, “Don’t think for a second that you could hurt me, and maybe you should stop trying to provoke me. Because if I get full of you, I swear I’ll empty you like popped pulp.”

Eric was shaken, and Byul took a step backward, still glaring at him. She then turned towards a frozen Yongsun.

“I don’t want to have any more encounters with you.”

Byul turned to leave, and Yongsun’s eyes started to water as her dread turned into fear. Then, turned into desperation as she went after Byul.

“Byulyi.” She whimpered.

Byul didn’t stop but walked relatively faster.

Yongsun held her arm to stop her.

“Byulyi – “

Byul abruptly turned, freeing her arm from Yongsun’s hold.

“DON’T!” Byul shouted, “call me that!” She glared at her before she turned and walked away.

Yongsun stood there watching Byul take steps further away from her. Her eyes clouded with tears. Byulyi never shouted at her. Byulyi never looked at her like that. A whimper escaped from her, followed by a series of sobs.

“Yongsun, it’s fine.”

She turned and saw Eric looking at her. Concern was written all over his face. But that didn’t compensate for the pain of losing the friendship she worked so hard to build with Byul.

“You...” Yongsun wasn’t able to continue as she cried harder.

“How desperate can you be...”

Anger was something Yongsun had never felt. She got annoyed, she got upset, but she was never angry. She would always rationalize things and not let her emotions overpower her decisions and words. But this time, she is annoyed, upset, and can’t even think properly. She is outraged.

Hyejin and Wheein decided to return to the parking when they noticed that Byul and Yongsun were not behind them. Now, they are confused and surprised to see Yongsun and Eric there without Byul. What got them a lot more confused was Yongsun’s face covered in tears.

They approached, and Hyejin gently held Yongsun’s arm.

“Yongsun, what’s wrong?”

“Byulyi.” She managed to squeak out.

Wheein quickly understood as she started running where they parked earlier.

“Yongsun is not even a big deal.” Eric reasoned out. He was confused as to why Yongsun was so affected.

Yongsun scoffed at him. “You think so?” Yongsun took several steps toward him.

 “You were trying so hard to catch my attention. You wanted me to like you. But at this very moment, you taught me one thing I have never felt before,” Yongsun looked at him directly into his eyes, “hate. You taught me how to hate you, Eric. And do you know why I always wanted to spend time with Byulyi?” Her lip quivered as she finally acknowledged what she was about to say. “Because I like her. I like her the way you wanted me to like you. I like that “troublemaker.””

Hyejin was slightly shocked by Yongsun’s confession but managed to lead her way out of there. Leaving Eric dumbfounded.

 

It was a little bit cold. Byulyi was sitting alone on the floor, watching the fire as it danced in the fireplace. It’s the only thing that’s illuminating in that dark room. She was contemplating.

Why was she so careless?

She shouldn’t let that happen.

She knew that people weren’t genuinely nice.

But it did feel genuine.

Her smiles.

Her stares.

Her giggles.

They all seem genuine.

Was she so stupid to trust?

Or can Kim Yongsun just amazingly act?

Why was she so hurt?

After the anger subsided, the pain of deceit and betrayal encased her. She thought Yongsun was different. She felt so different when they were together. She held on to the friendship that Yongsun offered her but knowing what was behind that, she felt like a complete fool.

She was a charity case they tried to work on. She was a rebel they were trying to tame. She was a problem they were trying to solve. She was a situation they were trying to take under control. It made her feel a lot tier. It made her angry. But above all, Yongsun’s deceit made her feel much more alone and lonelier.

 

“Yongsun…… Yongsun!” Yongsun jolted from her seat when Hyejin touched her hand.

“Stop playing with your food and eat it,” Hyejin said, full of concern. It’s been two days since that incident in the parking lot, and since then, Yongsun was never been the same. That morning she was so happy and static while she talked about the time she went out with Byul. The confession she said stills shocked Hyejin even when she already had a hunch about Yongsun’s feelings. They had a great start, but Eric decided to be a . And now Yongsun is acting so different that it actually worries her.

“Does Wheenie found her yet?”

“No. Not yet. Wheen was having a hard time locating her. Wheein is just new here; she didn’t know many people. She mentioned Byul’s friends but didn’t know how to get hold of them.

Yongsun perked up at the mention of Byul’s friends. She went there once, but she still remembers where they were staying.

When the last bell rang at the end of Yongsun’s class, she immediately went out and looked for Hyejin. She went straight to the parking, hoping to see her there.

She saw Hyejin opening her car, so she hurriedly approached her.

“Hyejin! Can I borrow your car?”

Hyejin was confused. “Why? I can drive you home.”

“No. I am going somewhere. Just catch a ride with Wheein.”

Hyejin eyed her, deciding if she should let Yongsun go.

“Hyejin, please,” Yongsun said, begging with desperation.

Hyejin sighed and gave her car key to her. “Call or message me when you’re home, okay?”

Yongsun gave her a single nod and a small smile before entering.

 

Yongsun parked outside the gate of the two-story house. She rang the doorbell two times before she saw Sanduel walking out of the door towards her.

“Yongsun, what are you doing here?” Sanduel asked as soon as he opened the gate. “Come inside.”

Yongsun shook her head. “Is Byulyi here?”

Sanduel brows knitted. “Byul? She’s not here. The last time she was here was when she was with you.”

Yongsun bit her lip in disappointment.

“What’s wrong?” Sanduel asked, concerned.

 “We had a misunderstanding, and I couldn’t get a hold of her. It’s been two days.”

Sanduel sighed. “Just give her some time to cool down. She’ll appear when she’s calmed.”

Yongsun just gave him a nod. “Okay. I should get going.”

“You don’t want to come inside?”

“No,” Yongsun shook her head, “Maybe, next time.”

Sanduel gave her a friendly smile. “Take care, Yongsun.”

Yongsun was scared. She didn’t want Byul to think that all that’s happened was just her pretending. Every smile she gave her was genuine. Those smiles were all because of Byul.

She reminisced the time they went out and how Byul prepared for it. How she opened herself a little bit more for her. How she gave her those charming smirks. Yongsun’s eyes watered.

But then the thought of that time brought her another idea of where Byul could be. Yongsun stepped on the gas as she sped to the city's outskirts.

 

It started to get dark, but Yongsun still went into the woods. She took the pathway opposite where Byul had taken her. She walked for some time, eyeing the surroundings trying to find the cabin Byul had mentioned to her before. She was walking for quite some time but couldn’t locate the cabin. She looked back and realized she was already far from the dirt road. She felt scared and nervous. She was in the woods all by herself without anyone knowing. If she was not able to find Byul here, she’s doomed.

She continued to walk when she noticed smoke coming in the distance in front of her. She ran and saw a beautiful cabin at the end of the pathway. She took a relieved sigh as she walked to approach the front door.

 

Byul was heating her dinner when she sensed some movement outside the cabin. She didn’t mind much, thinking it was some lost animal wandering around. She went from the kitchen to the living room and was about to sit when she heard a timid knock. She was immediately alerted. There were only a few people who knew about the cabin. So, the person behind that door could either be her friends or a random person lost in the woods. She took her pocket knife as she slowly approached the door. She took careful steps just to not make a sound. The knocks gradually become hard, as if the person behind is desperate to have someone open it. Byul held the doorknob; she silently counted to three before she turned it and swung open the door, swaying her other hand with the pocket knife simultaneously. The knife tip was an inch away from the person’s neck. Byul was about to ask who the person was when she saw a shocked Yongsun, who instinctively raised both of her hands in a surrendering manner.

“Yongsun.” Byul absentmindedly called her. She was surprised to see her.

“H-hi.” Yongsun stuttered, eyeing the knife.

Byul quickly withdraws it from her. She was recovering from her shock and faced Yongsun with a serious expression.

“What are you doing here?’

“I’m looking for you.”

Byul’s brow knitted. “What is it this time?”

“Byul please, …. Just try to listen to me.” Yongsun pleaded.

“I did once. And look what happened.” Byul mocked.

“Byulyi, there is more to that,” Yongsun said in a soft voice, trying not to cry. She misses her so much and is not used to the glare that Byul is giving her.

“Go home,” Byul said and closed the door. She can't bear to see Yongsun like that. She looked so broken, and that sight gnawed Byul’s insides. She can’t fall for that again. It annoys her how she seems so soft towards her. She went back to the kitchen to drink some water when she noticed from the kitchen window that it had already turned dark outside.

Yongsun must walk in the woods again to return to the dirt road. And then the dirt road to the main road. It seemed that she was alone. Byul’s hold in the glass tightened as she closed her eyes. She then sighed as she scratched her ear and returned to the front door. She will secretly watch Yongsun until she is out on the main road.

She opened the front door and was about to step outside when she saw Yongsun sitting at the porch’s stairs. She turned and looked at Byul when she heard the door opening.

“You still didn’t leave,” Byul said.

“I won’t leave until you talk to me.”

“I’ll walk you to the dirt road,” Byul told her. Obviously, ignoring what Yongsun said. She closed the door and walked down the porch passing Yongsun.

“I told you I won’t leave until you talk to me,” Yongsun said with conviction.

Byul turned to her, clearly pissed. She abruptly walked toward Yongsun while glaring, but Yongsun didn’t flinch.

“My patience is wearing thin, Ms. Kim. Don’t get me so mad or-“

“You’ll hurt me?” Yongsun asked. She took a step forward, meeting Byul’s glare. “I understand that you are angry. But Byul, would you at least listen to me?”

Byul’s jaw tightened. Yongsun is just so stubborn.

Is she not done with me yet?

Byul took a step backward as she aggressively scratched her ear. She walked to the door to open it and stepped inside.

She turned to look at Yongsun standing on the porch looking at her.

“I’m not going to talk to you outside,” Byul said and stepped towards the living room, leaving the door open. Yongsun immediately followed Byul inside and shut the door. Both were standing in the living room, looking at each other. Now that Byul had seen Yongsun, she realized how much she missed her. That realization made her annoyed with herself. She sighed and facepalmed herself, asking why she let Yongsun in.

She looked at Yongsun, who was silently watching her. She motioned for her to sit, which Yongsun obliged.

Byul sat at the armrest of the single sofa a few feet away from Yongsun. She is waiting for her to speak. But Yongsun seemed to be lost in her thoughts. She was thinking about how is she going to explain herself. What are the things to say? Or if Byul would still be able to trust her.

Byul cleared , prompting Yongsun to look at her.

“You said you are going to talk,” Byul said in her cold tone.

Yongsun bit her lip and played her hands in her lap. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked directly at Byul.

“Mr. Kim indeed talked to me. But he only told me at first that he was joining a student on the volunteering team as a punishment. I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t even know you at that time. I only heard of your name. The instructions given to me are just to ensure you actively join the volunteering activities and at least guide you.” Yongsun bit her lip. Byul’s expression is passive, making it difficult to guess what she could be thinking.

“Then you arrived. That is when we met. You were there. Mr. Kim told you that I would be checking on you. That’s the only thing he asked me to do. Byulyi the times we spent in that vacant classroom, the talks we had, the friendship we built, it was all true. It was not part of any scheme or a task given to me. It was all me wanting it.” Yongsun’s eyes got teary.

“I took that punishment of you as an opportunity to get close to you. Because I want it, I don’t know why I want it. I want to be friends with you. So, I was persistent in talking with you. That’s why I didn’t probe the issues you are not ready to discuss. That’s why I stayed even when I saw danger related to you first hand when we had an encounter with that Jun guy. That’s why I tried to heal your wounds when you are injured because of a fight. That’s why I love spending time with you. And despite the bad reputation they are trying to paint you, I don’t care because I feel safe with you. That’s why I am here. That’s why I am sorry.” Yongsun’s tears fall like waterfalls as she gets more and more emotional. The passive look Byul’s giving her makes her feel defeated. It seemed that she completely lost Byul.

Byul looked away. She can’t bear seeing Yongsun crying. Those sad, pleading eyes cause tightening in her chest. It makes her feel terrible.

“Stop crying,” Byul said with evident annoyance.

Yongsun’s face was saddened as she tried hard to stop her tears.

Byul stood up.

“I only have ramens and eggs here.” She said as she made her way to the kitchen.

Yongsun is sunken on the sofa as she plays with her fingers. Byul didn’t ask her anything and didn’t say anything. Did she believe her? She hopes Byul does. She didn’t want to lose her.

Yongsun looked up and saw a cup of ramen and bottled water on the table in front of her.

“Eat. You’ll stay the night here. It’s too dangerous to walk in the woods at night.” Byul said and proceeded to walk inside a room she assumed was the bedroom. Yongsun did as she was told and ate her food. As she finished, Byul emerged from the room with the spare clothes in her hand. She gave it to Yongsun, which she reluctantly took.

“That’s the bathroom.” Byul pointed to a door near the bedroom, “wash up if you want. Then you can sleep in the bedroom. I’ll stay here in the living room.”

Yongsun stood up and went inside the bathroom. When she went out, Byul had already cleaned the living room and now lying on the sofa, hands, and feet are crossed. Yongsun hesitated for a moment before she approached her. Byul opened her eyes when she felt Yongsun’s presence beside her. She looked at her silently asking her what she wanted.

“Ahm… I left my phone in the car. C-can you please call Wheenie and tell her to call Hyejin to tell her I’m okay?” Yongsun thought about Hyejin when she was in the bathroom. She promised her she’d call.

Byul sat up. “I’ll just message her. Reception is kind of hard here. A message will eventually come through.”

Yongsun stiffly nodded. “Thank you.”

Byul didn’t say anything and just continued to type in her phone.

“Goodnight, Byulyi,” Yongsun whispered before heading towards the room. As she was about to close the bedroom door, she heard Byul’s low voice.

“Goodnight, Yongsun.”

 

Yongsun lay in the bed with a small smile. Byul called her by her name. She may not directly say it, but Yongsun knew, Byul had forgiven her. She snuggled more into the pillow. It’s so soft, and it feels comfortable. It smells like Byul. She fell asleep not long after but was awakened when she heard a thud from the living room where Byul was sleeping. Yongsun, still half asleep, turned towards the door, but when she didn’t hear anything, she closed her eyes to continue her sleep. Moments later, she heard whimpering, still coming from the living room. She stood up and opened the door.

“Byul?” She called.

The whimpers are much louder now, coming from the sofa where Byul was supposed to be lying. Yongsun’s brow knitted when Byul didn’t answer her, and the whimpering continued.

“Byul, what’s going on?” She asked.

“N-no.” She heard Byul whisper.

Yongsun walked towards the sofa as she heard Byul continuously say no.

When she was close enough to see Byul, she noticed her eyes were closed. She suddenly started flailing her hands as she repeatedly said no.

Yongsun jolted when she heard Byul scream, and that’s when she realized that Byul was having a nightmare. She ran towards her and kneeled beside her. She held her shoulders as she repeatedly called her name. Byul was still flailing her hands as if she was fighting someone, and then she started to sob. Yongsun moved closer and hugged her as she called her name near her ears. Seconds later, Byul woke up in a panicked state. Her eyes were dilated as she scanned the room. She was drenched with her own sweat, and her face was wet with the combination of sweat and tears.

Byul’s eyes landed on Yongsun when she felt her hand touch her cheek. She sat up as she tried to calm herself. She put her face in her palms and took a deep breath.

Damn those nightmares.

She stayed like that for a moment until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She saw Yongsun holding a glass of water and some paper towels. She took those and slowly drank the water. Yongsun sat beside her; she was silent as she let Byul recover from her nightmare. It was so intense, and it scared her too.

Byul leaned back on the sofa and covered her eyes with her left arm.

“You should change your shirt. It is drenched with sweat.” Yongsun softly said.

Byul cleared . “I have shirts in the second drawer in my cabinet inside the room.”

Yongsun stood up to get one and handed it to Byul, who went to the bathroom to change. When she came out, Yongsun was still sitting on the sofa. She went and sat beside her.

“I’m okay now. You should go back to sleep.” Byul uttered not looking at Yongsun.

Yongsun bit her lip as she contemplated.

“Do you want to lay beside me in your room?” She asked lightly.

Byul looked at her, surprised by her offer.

“If you don’t want that, I can lay on the floor beside the sofa,” Yongsun suggested.

Byul sighed. “There is no need for you to that Yongsun. I have already forgiven you.”

“I am not offering my company to you for your forgiveness Byulyi. It’s for my peace of mind. I’m worried you might get a nightmare again.”

Byul looked at Yongsun, who looked at her with so much sincerity and concern. Byul sighed.

“Alright.”

Byul stood up and walked towards the room. Yongsun followed her, and they lay in the bed with just enough space between them.

Yongsun was bothered by that nightmare. It looks so scary. She’s not the one who has it, but she felt the terror. She turned her head to look at Byul and saw her staring at the ceiling. She felt Yongsun’s gaze, so she also turned her head towards her.

Even in this angle, she still looked so pretty handsome.

Byul took notice of Yongsun’s lingering stare.

“You want to ask something?”

Byul’s voice brought back Yongsun from her thoughts. She cleared to prepare herself to speak. But she didn’t know what to say or what to ask.

Byul waited patiently, but Yongsun kept quiet. She closed her eyes to try to sleep again when she felt Yongsun shift. She looked at her, and she was now fully facing her.

“What is that nightmare all about?” Yongsun whispered.

Byul didn’t answer and just kept her gaze on Yongsun.

“Why are you here, Yongsun?” She then asked.

“I came here to apologize.” She answered.

“Why?” Byul probed.

“Because I miss you.” And I can’t lose you.

Byul couldn’t take Yongsun’s intense stare, so she looked down at the blanket.

“Byulyi,” Yongsun whispered, “You are important to me, and I care a lot about you. Please, don’t ever doubt that.”

Byul looked at Yongsun. Her eyes reflect so much sincerity and vulnerability. Yongsun looks at her like she is the only person she wants to look at. That made her feel seen. Alive. Special.

Why are you looking at me like that, Yongsun?

Byul had the urge to touch her cheek, to physically feel her. To assure herself that this Yongsun was not part of her dream or a figment of her imagination. But she held herself back.

Yongsun gave Byul a reassuring smile.

“We should go back to sleep,” Yongsun said and closed her eyes. Still facing Byul, she covered herself with a blanket to settle. A few minutes passed, and Yongsun was still awake. She then felt Byul shift. She opened her eyes and saw Byul staring at the ceiling, submerging in her thoughts. Yongsun touched her arm, causing Byul to look at her.

“Can’t sleep?”

Byul slightly nodded.

Yongsun used her thumb to caress Byul’s arm, attempting to soothe her from her thoughts.

“I told you about losing my mom when I was five,” Byul said quietly. She was stiff. Her movement was only the rising and falling of her chest as she breathed.

“We were in the master’s bedroom. We were talking when suddenly, we heard noises coming from downstairs. My mom went to check but later ran back towards the room.” Byul’s gaze was on the ceiling. She was barely blinking. It’s as if she was watching the scene at play.

“She shoved me in a small cabinet and made me promise to stay there, so I did. And then I heard men’s voices, then a loud bang. I had difficulty breathing, so I opened the cabinet slowly, allowing me to peek.”

Yongsun had a hard time breathing as she tried not to cry. She knows where this is going. She knows what’s coming next. She could feel the heat around her eyes as her tears started to flow through the bridge of her nose.

Byul swallowed the lump forming in . “I saw a man standing over my mom, laying on the floor. He held his gun over her and shot her twice.”

Byul blinked once, and the tears started to pour.

“T-that day was my birthday,” Byul said above a whisper.

Yongsun covered to muffle her sobs as she cried in anguish for Byul.

Byul, still not looking at Yongsun, took a deep breath to stabilize herself.

“Since that day up until now, whenever I go to sleep, I see that scene playing, sometimes with different scenarios. There were times that in those dreams, I was also killed.”

Yongsun instinctively put her hand on Byul’s cheeks. She turned to her and was surprised to see Yongsun crying.

Yongsun caressed Byul’s face. She wanted to say something. Something that would reassure Byul. Something that would make the pain go away. Something that would make the nightmares stop. But there are no such words that could mend a little girl’s broken heart and soul. She only said the words her heart wanted to say.

“I am here now,” Yongsun whispered, directly looking at Byul’s eyes as she held her cheek, “beside you…. Just here.”

Byul held Yongsun’s hand on her cheek.

“Stop crying. Please…. Don’t cry for me.”

Yongsun moved closer to Byul and laid her head on her shoulder. Her forehead was touching Byul’s cheek. They closed their eyes as they relished in each other’s warmth.

“Can you feel me?” Yongsun whispered.

Byul still had her eyes closed, smiled a little. “I do, Yong. I can feel you.”