‘Well!’

‘Well!’

[minor pause]

‘As usual we would do a run down of comments, give some back story about some interesting stuff, or follow up on some parts of the video and things like that but-‘

‘Most of the comments-‘

‘Is just people crying about how scary these episodes were.’

‘I mean I guess it’s a win?’

‘Yes and it might sound like we’re complaining- we’re not, it was so fun reading the comments.’

‘Which is why today’s Autopsy will be a little longer!’

‘We’ve also kept in contact with Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung, our wonderful hosts-‘

‘-hi Kookie! Hi Tae!’

‘-and we’ve been getting some messages back! But we’ll get into that later and first of all-‘

‘Okay but seriously, I’m not kidding 50% of the comments is just people crying, and about how they regretted watching the two-part videos at night-‘

‘-that’s on them-‘

‘-20% is just about how cute we look- by we I mean, like everyone that appeared in the episodes-‘

‘-they’re not wrong!’

‘-10% were comments about how some people want to go visit the greenhouses-‘

‘-valid! Those radishes were amazing and Mrs. Park-‘

‘-aye Mrs. Park shout out!’

‘-is an amazing cook you need her fish stew in your life!’

‘-and then another 10% was about farming? And gardening? I had no idea we hit that demographic?’

‘-but we did learn a lot though.’

‘True. And the remaining 10% were actual questions or theories.’

‘So let’s just randomly go through what we have!’

‘This is from Part 1, and they’re both rather similar, so I’ll read them both together.

The first is from YouTube username ‘Baguette Au Pain’ who says: “yo hold up- no one messes with eggs in rituals that’s some voodoo y’all need to leave, take those cute boys wth you and YEET #erikyoong”.

And yes- after extensive research, and talking with Taehyung and Jungkook as we did in the videos, the topic of voodoo, or even black magic came up.’

‘It’s genuinely interesting to me.’

‘What do you mean.’

‘How did we, as a society, come up with the idea of voodoo- or even black magic- what inspired us, in our primitive cavemen era, that yeah, I’m gonna make a doll that looks like someone I know, and poke it with needles.’

‘I don’t think voodoo dolls really were a thing that long ago…? Also fairly certain that a lot of what we know at least is just- media influenced from Hollywood movies pushing a pro-American agenda, and making every other culture, belief system, and non-Christian practices appear as something evil, demonic, or a result of lack of education when in fact we know for a fact that ancient medicinal practices are still relevant now to organic and non-invasive cures to so many illnesses and maladies, not to say they’re all correct and true but that didn’t mean what ancient herbalists and doctors and shamans and priests knew in the past was simply some form of hysterical animalistic ritual-based practice that always somehow ended up in - NO! Think about how ancient Egypt had dentists who could perform root canals, or could treat tumors, create working and balanced prosthetic limbs- think of how the ancient civilizations in South America developed a high-functioning sewage system, irrigation system, and most of all chocolate. Or how in Africa, they were already performing safe and sanitary C-sections for complicated births- this idea that countries and cultures of ancient descent and supposed lack of modern technology equals into something unintelligent, crass, backwards, or barbaric needs to stop.’

‘I am-…this did not at all go how I thought it would-‘

‘Then the second comment reads! From Twitter use ‘THISISNOTSPARTA’ who writes: “eggs are commonly used for exorcist practices I don’t think they’re there for a specifically ominous reason but rather for protection!! Pls dont disturb the eggs!! The reason why it had hair in it is because the exorcism works!! Its drawing out whatever is living there!” and end!’

‘I like that reasoning.’

‘So you believe it?’

‘No- I just like that reasoning.’

‘Wait- that doesn’t make sense-‘

‘Oh come on- you don’t have to believe something just because you like it- I mean, look at Minseok-hyung, he likes us, but does that mean he really believes in most of what we say.’

‘That, my friend, is an excellent point, I full heartedly agree with you.

But back to the eggs- I mean I’ll be honest. It was terrifying.’

‘Yeah I agree- there’s something inherently wrong with seeing, or coming across eggs like that- and with hair? Like, okay, just a warning for you guys we’re gonna show the picture in 5…4…3…2…1-!’

‘That’s the worse thing you could see when you’re minding your own business, busting your to pay for tuition fees-‘

‘-it will be gone in 5…4…3…2…1!’

‘-and bam! Egg with hair!’

‘I like the idea that this user suggested- that the eggs were there to draw out whatever was living there- as though in a way- allowing them to be reborn through the egg- there’s actually a comment from-.’

‘So in this case, the egg definitely came before the chicken, but only because the chicken was a demon?’

‘…’

‘…’

‘This next comment comes from our Instagram page, by the way I’m offended at how many people only focused on Minseok-hyung again-‘

‘-you had a lot of comments shut up-‘

‘-username ‘Bocchann’ who writes: “I knew it- the eggs are a recent thing. Its used to exorcise tainted spirits, kinda like allowing them to be reborn. Someone in that greenhouse knows ecactly what theyre doing with those eggs. Now the question is, what exactly happened that youd need to go down the shamanism path to do something this extreme?”

First of all I love how they’ve written this comment it sounds very sure somehow.’

‘Oooh- now that’s an interesting theory! Someone knows what they’re doing in the greenhouse with the eggs- so it’s fair to say that maybe there are still some shamans that are still living there?’

‘Hmm- if anyone gave me shaman vibes, then maybe- Manager Yoo?’

‘He was exceptionally chill and calm.

But theories aside- this is actually nice- I like that someone could be watching over the greenhouse, cleansing it- but I’ll be honest-‘

‘-you’ve been lying this whole time?’

‘-the town felt so nice, and so supportive, and just- I don’t know, you know how sometimes, people are really aware, of the bad things, that have happened- I’m not saying that’s a bad thing-‘

‘-no I get what you mean-‘

‘-and it wasn’t like they were actively ignoring it or pretending things- it just felt- there was a nice genuine air to that town, it felt very hopeful, I felt.’

‘I agree.’

‘The next comment, which is again, about what 50% of the comments reads like, is from ‘minghaoFrogAgenda’ who is I think crying: “I HAVE’NT STOPPED CRYING FROM EPISIDE ONE Y’ALL SHOULD PUT A RATING IN YOUR VIDEOS SHOULDN’T THIS VIDEO BE DEMONITIZED FOR BEING TOO SCARY”.

[helpless wheezing and gasping]

‘Okay so maybe we should put a rating?’

‘…like how though- uh, do we use these two episodes as a scale? The greenhouse episodes are 10 then- I would definitely give it a solid 10.’

‘Okay- and what should be 1?’

‘Uh- first season, our episode with Jongin.’

‘Honestly, that was just pure comedy.’

‘It was at my expense- but when I look back at it now, I will graciously relent my dignity and allow that episode to be ranked at 1 on our scale.’

‘You are most kind- but you didn’t have to relent anything I was going to use it regardless. Next comment is from username ‘Erikyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonggg–‘

‘-it’s not that long-‘

“Baekhyun…please…my bro, my dude, baby, honey- don’t do this to yourself please I’m begging you I could literally see the veins near your eyes popping out like in some anime please” – they’re literally begging you to stop freaking yourself out.’

‘That’s assuming I want to be freaked out- I am nowhere near willing to be freaked out but I do it because I want to prove you wrong!’

‘So you put yourself through near heart-attacks just to prove me wrong?’

‘I do.’

‘Bro…’

‘Bro…’

[bro moment, give them a second, sigh]

‘Some updates on the episode!’

‘Yes! Received messages from Jungkookie and Taehyungie-‘

‘You know I read a comment that said you and Taehyung look quite alike?’

‘I love that comment-‘

‘-doesn’t mean you get his height-‘

‘AS IF YOU AND I ARE NOT THE SAME HEIGHT-!’

[bro moment is Over™]

‘Ehem, yes, as I was saying, Jungkookie says that indeed, they checked, and a majority of the town have subscribed to us and now refer to you as the ‘one who walks like an old man’-‘

[affronted noises]

‘-and refer to me as the cute son-in-law type.’

[cheesy wink and finger-heart thrown at camera]

‘-excuse me it says here they refer to you as the loud screaming one-!’

‘-so Jungkook says that he’s not found anymore eggs, though it’s not like he’s been looking for them in the first place.’

‘Which again, is understandable!’

‘And that they will be planting some apricot trees, and would be more than happy to send us some-‘

‘-I love them both so much-‘

[short emotional break]

‘The sightings have lessened- have been lessening for a few years for sure, but it’s much more noticeable now, Jungkook tells us.’

‘I am truly happy for them. Can’t wait for some organic apricots.’

‘And that’s a wrap up for this Autopsy!’

‘But this coming episode! You guys are gonna see a familiar face!’

‘He’s appeared on here a few times before, but now recently after he’s become a massively famous verified YouTuber, music production student, and all round talented tall hunk of a man!’

‘It’s not Sehun-‘

‘Sehun can hardly be described as a hunk-‘

‘-more of a bean- the best bean boy-‘

‘-he’s going to kill us-‘

‘Well! See you guys next time!’

(Author’s Notes)

Can you guess who’s gonna appear next? Ehehehehehee