(Listen to Ghost while reading on repeat, not because it matches the chapter but because you just should)
ALSO THERE'S PART III BEFORE THIS UNSOLVED AUTOPSY CHAPTER UPDATE

‘Welcome to Season 2’s, season finale unsolved autopsy!’

‘Fear not! We will return in time for the summer break!’

‘Yes, we still have our education to prioritize!’

‘As do all of you I’m sure.’

‘But if you’re already graduated and you’re done with uni life then…uh-‘

‘-how does it feel to be an adult?’

‘Yeah, Minseok-hyung, how does it feel like to be adult?’

(…)

‘So, these episodes were quite something weren’t they Baek?’

‘They most certainly were. And we are here to answer questions but also!’

‘COME ON IN KYUNGSOO!

‘Ah, and Zitao couldn’t be here, but we are going to get him on call soon!’

‘Hey guys. It’s Kyungsoo.’

‘No need to be so formal!’

‘This is just how I am.’

‘A lot of comments were asking you to be a permanent part of the Unsolved Family! What do you think?’

‘While I am honoured, and willing to participate in future projects, I think this channel is perfect the way it is with you three.’

‘You always have such a way with words, this is why my mum likes you better than she likes me-‘

‘You heard it guys, he’s gonna show up next season too. This is a forever promise that if you break it will haunt you like a ghost.’

‘Sure.’

‘I wish to attain Kyungsoo’s level of indifference sometimes – how does it feel to be so powerful?’

‘It’s his eyebrows- it’s all there, all that power-‘

‘Let’s get this going before Minseok-hyung rolls his eyes back permanently!’

‘Question time! This is from Instagram user “Candy_Delight” who asks ‘have you slept walked again since that time in the hostel?’ and there’s been a lot of questions like this-‘

‘-and the answer is no! I’ve never slept walked before this, and never after that either.’

‘Also some fun fact-‘

‘-it’s not a fun fact but I did go for some medical advice! As someone who’s never slept walked before, I thought it might be good to hear professional input!

So basically my doctor said it’s possible I was under a lot of stress, and with the environment around me at the time, my subconscious took over.’

‘The doctor also said that just because you’ve never slept walked before, doesn’t mean you won’t ever sleep walk in your life, so like, I guess there’s a time for everything eh?’

‘Sure wish my subconscious decided to at least wait until after that moment to be honest.’

‘So you’re saying you’d rather sleep walk after we were done with the hostel, and have you sleep walk around our dorm randomly?’

‘…I-‘

‘We’d definitely have to get your exorcised.’

‘Hahahahaha-‘

‘-wait why do you like somewhat excited by that-‘

(intermission)

‘No one is getting exorcised, but we did get this one question from twitter user “AD2: Album to Punch Jeff Bezos to” who asks, ‘has anyone considered exorcizing this goddamn place, or at least please painting over that mural’ and I think that’s a valid question that we will ask Zitao!’

‘Phone call time!’

‘Okay we have him on call right now and-‘

‘-…’

‘…’

(‘…’)

‘…’

‘-did he hang up on you?!’

(on standby, please wait)

‘WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ANY OF OUR CALLS AND ONLY PICKED UP KYUNGSOO’S?!’

‘Because I have priorities.’

‘HOW IS KYUNGSOO YOUR PRIORITY BUT WE’RE NOT?’

‘Because Kyungsoo doesn’t send me JUMP SCARE VIDEOS OUT OF THE BLUE WITHOUT WARNING YOU !’

‘I DID THAT BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED HORROR-‘

‘I LOVE HORROR IN A CONTAINED ENVIRONMENT I AM READY FOR-‘

(short break and time-out for BaekChen)

‘It’s weird just being by myself, are you sure they’re okay?’

(‘Sometimes they need to be punished. It’s a good reminder.’)

‘Sounds .’

(‘Zitao-‘)

‘So Zitao! It’s good to hear from you again, are you ready for this question?’

‘Most definitely!’

‘Great, so this is from twitter user “AD2: Album to Punch Jeff Bezos to” who asks, ‘has anyone considered exorcizing this goddamn place, or at least please painting over that mural’ – do you have any input?’

‘I do! From what I gathered, the hostel definitely underwent some cleansing- but it was mainly just for things like, opening the hostel again, basic ceremonial stuff. Nothing to actually try and exorcise the hostel in a purposeful manner.’

‘Can we come back in?’

(‘Depends on if you’ve both learnt your lesson.’)

‘We have.’

‘Then you can come back.’

‘YAAAY-‘

(They’re back now)

‘So! With Zitao still on the line! Another question from YouTube that goes, ‘This question is for Zitao! You said in the interview that you felt that the hostel not only held heavy and bad childhood memories for you, but that it was reinforced because of the way the hostel seemed to cater to all your fears at the same time. Is there a specific example you are comfortable sharing with us? I thought you especially hated the dorm rooms, is there a story you could share please?’ and this is from “Your Mom’s Router”.’

‘My mum’s router?’

‘Maybe my mum’s router.’

(snickering ensues)

‘Hm- yeah, the dorm rooms are probably the places most of us felt the worst. At least when you’re around the hostel, like the study rooms, the cafeteria- all these places, you  had other things to think about- homework, food, evading bullies, that sort of thing. But once in your bunk, and you’re trying to sleep- that loneliness just hit you. And as a kid, it was tough. Especially if you didn’t have close friends or family with you. This was a perfect place to, well, harvest negativity and let it fester.’

‘This is a good point! A lot of places are filled with misery- and sometimes, as humans we have a lot of empathy- we immediately sense the emotions of those around us unless we’re very self absorbed. And we immediately relate to it, causing us to feel the same heaviness of a place-‘

‘­-yeah, and so I guess, seeing others sad and miserable, just added to your own. And you could always hear other kids crying at night.’

‘How did you cope?’

‘I have Kyungsoo-hyung of course. We were in different classes, and sometimes we didn’t share a dorm room. But after making friends with Kyungsoo-hyung, I think I was able to focus away from how miserable I was.’

‘Ah well-‘

‘Kyungsoo!’

‘Soo!’

(massive group hug ensues- here is Zitao photoshopped into this image as requested)

‘This is why a lot of people do suggest that rather than a supernatural haunting, many places are weighted down by an emotional haunting.’

‘HA!’

‘Don’t laugh! It actually makes sense!’

‘I’m not laughing because I think it’s dumb- it’s just, the term itself sounds funny! Emotional haunting!’

(sigh)

‘But that is a good point, aside from weird reasons as to why I find the name funny- kinda like how you go to those ghost-houses in amusement parks, and you’re scared if someone else is scared.’

‘Mass hysteria?’

‘Yeah! Like, there was this research, I’m not sure what they were trying to prove; but this actor was asked to start screaming and running out inside a mall- and shortly, other people started running too even though they didn’t know why.’

‘Ah! That reminds me- Soo, Tao-ya, the other time Baek and I were discussing this briefly – and I wanna know your opinion.’

‘What is it?’

‘Shoot.’

‘Do you think most places are haunted as a result of lots of people believing it’s haunted?’

‘Hmm.’

‘That’s plausible.’

‘You think so?’

‘I mean if masses of people still think Kid Rock is a relevant singer, then like, anything is possible.’

‘That’s oddly specific but thank you for the example.’

‘And sorry to anyone who likes Kid Rock.’

‘No! You’re not sorry! No one should be listening to that sort of music anymore-!’

(Unsolved Vlogs fully supports anyone who wishes to listen to any type of music for their personal enjoyment)

‘Okay and this one is from “R U Ridin’?” who just wants us to know, like almost every other comment that isn’t having an aneurysm from this episode ‘what can we expect for the next season?’ .’

‘We can’t say anything for sure yet! But we will be posting updates on all our social media platforms! I’m already checking out certain locations- certain stories. These things of course, takes time and planning!’

‘You guys should get a TikTok channel!’

‘Never!’

‘Sure.’

(Over my dead body)

‘We have a question- more like, just a funny comment, from Twitter user “Why Is She Marrying the Sample for Ghost” who says ‘can we please have Minseok and Kyungsoo do the Say So challenge as well please’ and has inserted a plethora of emojis I cannot describe.’

‘I SECOND THIS!’

‘THIRD!’

‘I absolute refuse.’

(So did I but we were outnumbered so here it is, both Kyungsoo and I are sorry for what you’re about to witness)

‘WHY ARE YOU BOTH SO CUTE?!’

‘PLEASE HOW DO I TATTOO THIS INTO MY EYES PERMANENTLY!’

‘WHY ARE YOU BOTH BETTER THAN BAEKHYUN AND JONGDAE?!’

(moving on)

‘Okay, we’re gonna say bye to Zitao! Thanks for joining us!’

‘No problem! I’ll drop by to say hi when I’m around the city next time!’

‘Absolutely!’

‘Bye!!’

‘Ah, I miss him already.’

‘But ultimately we have to move and here we have our last question!’

‘This is from YouTube user “What Do You Think”-‘

‘What do you think?’

‘What do you think?’

‘What do you think?’

(please stop thinking and please get on with the question)

‘So they’re asking us, a very polite question, which is ‘are you okay’ and you know what, we’ve been getting this question a lot-‘

‘-asking about your general wellbeing?’

‘Yes, exactly- and it makes me wonder-‘

‘-are we actually okay?’

‘…I mean, like, physically or like…spiritually.’

‘Why do you have to say it like that –‘

‘What do you mean-‘

‘-I think they’re just worried that you’re putting yourselves into such strange situations that are potentially dangerous and want to know if you’re okay. Especially Baekhyun with all the screaming.’

‘Speaking of Baekhyun screaming- here’s a montage of him from this season just screaming!’

‘What-?!’

(Montage of every scream from Baekhyun. RIP headphone users.)

‘So we’re very okay!’

‘Don’t worry about us guys- we have each other-‘

‘-and most importantly we have Minseok-hyung.’

‘Our very own bodyguard- I saw someone say he looks like Marshal from Animal Crossing and-‘

‘OH MY GOD HE DOES-!’

‘Hyung actually they’re right-‘

‘PLEASE PUT UP A SIDE BY SIDE COMPARISON I BEG-‘

*

(Author’s Note)

Were my fake usernames in this chapter too obvious im not sorry

POP ROCK STRAWBERRY BUBBLEGUM

I don’t even like sweets wtf