‘Can I just say before we start-‘

‘-you’re gonna say it anyways-‘

‘-that this is THE most- THE MOST-

‘-great here we go again-‘

‘-conclusive evidence we have ever found-‘

(sighing)

‘-excuse me you don’t get to sigh!

We all saw that door opening-‘

‘-on camera not in real life-‘

‘-and Minseok-hyung was so shocked he didn’t even move for a while-

Dude YOU were scared too-‘

‘I was personally concerned for Minseok-hyung-‘

(strangled sounds)

‘HEY- don’t tell me you weren’t just a little scared-‘

‘-I’ll admit it was surprising and unexpected but-‘

‘AHA SO YOU ADMIT IT!’

(sounds of disapproval)

‘Minseok-hyung! What did you think? What was going on in your mind?’

‘Uh- like I said before- I was honestly trying to remember if any of us had opened the door. I also thought I was imagining it because I hadn’t noticed it when I first got up.’

‘Your trip to the bathroom was relieving?’

‘Yes. Thank you.’

‘That’s besides the point! While I’m very happy that Minseok-hyung was able to relieve his bladder-‘

‘-we care for your bladder-‘

‘-you can’t explain that away with science-‘

‘In fact I can-‘

‘-oh great here we go-‘

‘-so I read a comment, which I will read now because I have to credit them for this explanation. It lead me to do my own research-‘

‘-wow, so journalism, many reporting-‘

‘-and this comes from our viewer from Twitter, 167 is Average Height-‘

‘-height complex?’

‘-167 is Average Height who says “i think it has to do with air pressure. its winter, and they had the heater on inside, it causes the room air to expand and contract. it’s basic exothermic principles of heat”-‘

‘…’

‘…so anyways I did some research and yes. First of all I think we should point out that when Minseok-hyung first got up, he went to the bathroom yes?’

‘…yeah.’

‘Then he closed the door behind him.’

‘…like all normal people.’

‘Exactly. The door had been open before right? So when hyung closed the door, in a room that was definitely warm, when outside was cold, the door that was the easiest to open- well, opens.’

‘…okay look. I get what you’re saying. I do know that with temperature changes, air pressure, etc and wood shrinks and expands. That’s why I don’t take creaking floors as a legitimate sign of hauntings in the first place.’

‘Exactly.’

‘However. I don’t really think that short moment of Minseok-hyung waking up and going to the bathroom and closing the door behind him could have made the door open just like that not after we locked it-‘

‘-I thought you would bring this up, so I spoke to Junmyeon about it, and the groundskeeper as well. The locking system as you remember was old. It was the upright bolt on top of the door frame. It could have easily slid down.’

(sounds of protest)

‘And like wood, metal also contracts and expands with heat and cold.’

‘This sounds like you’re just really trying to not admit that was an extremely conclusive supernatural evidence-‘

‘-I’m just laying out scientific facts here, which should not be quickly dismissed by the way-‘

‘-you’re dismissing my supernatural reasoning-‘

(Five years later)

‘Anyways comments! Here we have YouTube subscriber ‘Indigo_Salad’ who says ‘listen. I was just watching for a good time- spooks are fun but I did not subscribe to see a locked door open like that in 3 different camera angles.’

‘Well I mean- I don’t think “doors will open by themselves” would have made a good tagline anyways.’

‘It wouldn’t.

‘Here’s a comment from ‘HideoKojimaIsMyDad’ and they say ‘ignoring how terrifying it was when the door opened and stuff, can we all appreciate the absolute devastation they unknowingly caused because of all of their adorable bed-hair hdfgkhsdfsjdlkfsdds’.

‘I don’t really think Hideo Kojima is their dad.’

‘They can dream. Also, that was before it really got to bed-hair, years of bleaching and colouring my hair turns it into a genuine bird’s nest and that’s not really cute.’

‘…you once told me that-‘

‘I SAID NOTHING TO YOU ABOUT ANY OF THIS!’

‘…’

‘…’

‘Next comment! This is from Twitter user ‘star emoji star emoji star emoji moon emoji star emoji star emoji star emoji star emoji star emoji star emoji’ –

Can I just ask why people have actual emojis as their username? And this is an iPhone user what if an Android user tries to access your account like-‘

‘Can you read their comment please.’

‘Anyways, what I’m saying is, kids, please, at least put some words in there. Makes it easier I think.’

‘Can we move on from your anti-apple product propaganda?’

‘So this user says ‘damn Jongdae out here really looking like that in 10:37 like a whole meal, maybe that’s why all dem spooks came out to check him out’ and you know what. I can accept that.’

(makes cheesy sounds)

‘I hate you so much right now.’

‘But hey I have a comment you’ll like here, it’s from Twitter use ‘LuckyFrogSong’ who says ‘baekhyun waking up before anyone could alert him on the situation is a sure sign that he’s probably supernaturally inclined- it was like he had spidey-senses and just new something was up and so woke up because of that’.

‘…’

‘…-you look like-‘

(we apologize to all ear-phone/head-phone users)

‘YES! Thank you LuckyFrogSong for this! I’ve always thought this you know? I think I definitely have some sort of sense-‘

‘-or it’s just you being hyper aware of the smallest and blowing it out of the water-‘

‘-or! I genuinely do have supernatural spidey-senses!’

‘Okay sure! Here’s another comment and it’s actually quite a read. The user is someone who used to, or at least they claim, that they lived in the area-‘

‘-oh! That’s cool!’

‘Right? Anyways, so it’s from YouTube and it’s from “StayDeepRed” who says ‘My sister, who is a subscriber and fan, actually sent this to me freaking out. We used to live in that area when we were younger and that house was super notorious. My friend at the time used to live in the house right next to it, you can see it in the 6:21 mark on the video. He said that the garden area near that massive tree could never grow anything for a long period of time. And that there were no birds or nests on it even though its really big. And he told me that his grandmother who was senile used to spend quite a lot of time facing the tree in the garden and talk to it. But sometimes she would cry and try to hit the wall and they would have to take her back inside the house. After that she would ignore the tree but then she would go back again and it went on for quite a while. I don’t know what happened after that because my family moved and I lost contact. But its so bizarre to see Unsolved there and knowing that their friend used to live in it as a child. You guys are doing great! Ive subscribed!’

‘Oh my god- that’s so cool! Wow! So this place is pretty notorious then! Damn, doesn’t it make you wanna go back?’

‘Well we can’t even if we want to. I met Junmyeon-hyung the other day and he told me that they’ve decided to sell the estate to some developers. It’s likely they’ll tear down the house and redo the whole garden area as well.’

‘Ahh- I mean I guess that would take care of whatever ghost/demon that lives there.’

‘You sound hopeful.’

‘Let’s just say- for fun, that you also believe in ghosts. Wouldn’t you want to see whatever terrible thing living there was forever banished or finally in peace?’

‘I mean. Sure.’

‘Exactly. Next comment! Twitter user “Titled Goose Explicit Word”-

‘-thank you for censoring yourself-‘

‘-I literally censored this user myself-‘

‘-thank you for censoring them-‘

‘-who says ‘ the door, did y’all notice the figure in the background of their selfie they uploaded on this cursed bird app. ps minseok is cute’ so after reading this comment I went back to that picture and I looked at it-‘

‘-he really did-‘

‘-I zoomed in, super exposed it, sharped it, squinted, flipped it all over- wow the amount of things I did you won’t believe it- but I’m afraid I don’t see what “Titled Goose Explicit Word” mentioned.’

‘Wait let me look.’

(Selfie poster on Twitter and Instagram)

‘Sure Minseok-hyung is always cute. But other than that, yeah- there’s nothing I can see or tell. Minseok-hyung? What do you think?’

‘…seems pretty normal to me.’

‘Yeah- anyways, what can we expect for this upcoming episode?’

‘We’re gonna be putting on our dancing shoes!’

‘You guys can totally expect us to be busting our best moves next episode! A lot to look forward to.’

‘But who is the best dancer?’

‘We will find out!’

‘Anyways, thank you again so much for the comments! Though the amount of “Minseok cute” and other comments to that effect had to be filtered a lot. Please, control your thirst guys.’

‘Kinda difficult to.’

‘I’ll kill you.’

‘Cute and feisty. Nice.’

*

(Author’s Notes)

Stream “Purpose” by Taeyeon y’all

wow this is how long ago i wrote this chapter

but still

stream Purpose