chapter moodboard made by me exclusively for this story *:.✧｡* pls don't steal

Jungkook doesn't even like japchae. 

So he is wrought with confusion as to why there was suddenly so much of it in the kitchen. It was 10 AM when he woke up to the incursive smell of sesame oil wafting throughout their apartment. 

"Hyung." He spoke to the first housemate he saw in the kitchen, Yoongi. "Why is there so much japchae?"

Yoongi, who was on his second bowl deep into the japchae shrugged, taking in another mouthful of the glass noodles. "Management sent it." 

Jungkook eyed the vast amounts of tin-foil containers in the kitchen. There had to be at least a gallon of japchae for each member in the household. "Why?" He asked, though not confident he'd get a straight answer.

"Probably for your birthday?" Again, Yoongi remained as baffled as he was. "Happy birthday, by the way."

Not one to dawdle on affection, Yoongi stalked off with his bowl of the stir fried glass noodles as Jungkook eyed the date on the screen of their smart refrigerator. September 1, 2017. 

He was 20 that day. 

Seokjin and Hoseok trailed into the kitchen both bleary-eyed from the morning sun but still aroused by the smell of hot food coming from outside their bedrooms.

"What's this?" Hoseok asked, rubbing his eyes. 

"Japchae," Jin murmured, though he was more-so speaking out of bewilderment than answering Hoseok. 

"There's just so much of it," Hoseok replied absentmindedly. Jungkook began to lift the foil coverings of each container as if to make sure that each really did contain so much japchae.

"But why?" Jungkook asked again. He didn't even like japchae. 

As the three men stood in the kitchen utterly confused with the sheer amount of stir fried glass noodles, Namjoon walked in. Compared to the other three, he was already dressed and had looked like he had been running errands early in the morning.

"Ah, you found the japchae," Namjoon said decidedly, clasping his hands together like an excited dad taking his kids out on their first fishing trip. "We can eat this."

That did not seem to answer the question boggling in the other members' minds. Namjoon continued, "Management sent it over. Mainly for Taehyung."

Seokjin and Hoseok nodded slowly, finally grasping the answer to that morning's biggest mystery. Despite Namjoon's efforts in trying to nurse the boy back to normal, he still wasn't quite there. And with all the appearances their group was going to make abroad in the next six months, they needed everyone's morale to be at its highest. 

Jungkook pressed his lips together before asking, "But why?" 

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. "Why, what?"

"Why are they sending him food?" 

"Taehyung likes to eat japchae – " 

"No, I mean, why are they sending him food on this day?" Jungkook's tone was level but on the cusp of being shaky. It was the first of September. Did no one else but Yoongi-hyung notice that?

Namjoon scratched his head. "What do you mean? You know how he's been lately. They thought that maybe food would cheer him up."

Jungkook remained silent. Both Jin and Hoseok, their comprehension still marred by having just woken up, watched the conversation half-intently. 

"Well, help yourselves," Namjoon said anyway, giving his housemates bowls and chopsticks. Jungkook sighed and pushed passed his hyungdeul, slightly irritated by the exchange.

He was 20 today. And he didn't even like japchae. 

❀

It was 1:30 PM when Jungkook slipped into his windbreaker. It had been overcast all morning but that couldn't stop him from going out and having a good time. It was his birthday for God's sake.  

Actually – birthday or not – Jungkook had been going out (or away) as often as he possibly could. When the group had their schedules and had to be cramped up together in one particular area for hours, he took it upon himself to find a quiet space away from the rest of the guys. This had been the case for the last few days, but with what Taehyung was going through, the boys failed to notice Jungkook's gradual reclusion. Today was not any different, especially considering no one had even mentioned his birthday.  

A quick knock came from the outside of his doorway and Jungkook looked up from tying his sneakers to see Taehyung slowly pushing the door open. To be frank, he was the last person Jungkook wanted to see. 

A heavy breath left Jungkook's lips as Taehyung waved at him from the threshold. Jungkook looked back down at his Nike Cortez's and continued tying them. 

"Please leave," he told the older boy. 

"What?"

"I said." Jungkook sighed, getting up from his bed and readjusting his windbreaker by the mirror. "Please. Leave."

Taehyung stared at Jungkook, dumbfounded. "Wh - what? Why?"

Jungkook remained steeped in his sharp silence, not making eye contact with his hyung. Taehyung was in his way of exiting the room and he was in no mood to even face his direction. A tiny squeak escaped Taehyung's mouth as Jungkook deftly moved passed him and left the dorm wordlessly.

"Where's he going?" Jimin asked Taehyung, his third serving of japchae in his hand. 

"Beats me," Taehyung shrugged, staring into the empty room Jungkook had vacated with such ambiguity.  "I just came in to greet him a happy birthday."

The chopsticks sitting in Jimin's bowl nearly fell out. The other boy's eyes widened. "It's his birthday today?"

Taehyung paused – a little disapprovingly due to Jimin's inconsideration. "Uh... yes. It's September first," he told him matter-of-factly.

"Jeez, I almost completely forgot." Jimin took his bowl and hurried to his room to grab his phone. He reemerged seconds later, bowl in one hand and phone in the other. "Is it too late to greet him? Will it seem like an afterthought if I do it now?"

"Well." Taehyung pursed his lips. "I was going to do it now, but – " His eyes flickered towards the front door of their apartment. 

Jimin had stopped listening as his thumb tapped away on his phone. After a few seconds he finally looked up at Taehyung after sending his belated birthday message into the digital void. "I just told him we'd go drinking tonight. Wanna come?" 

Again, Taehyung let a pregnant pause permeate the air. Jimin stared back at Taehyung, not quite privy that Taehyung was expecting him to understand that –

"I can't really drink anymore, remember?" 

Jimin shut his eyes and nodded when the realization finally hit him. "Ah... Yes. Right. Sorry. That's ."

"It's fine," Taehyung replied, shrugging as he walked off to his room. Without invitation, Jimin followed. Inside, he saw Taehyung's laptop set up at the foot of his bed, the home page of one of his computer games idling in the laptop screen. On the floor surrounding his bed were empty water bottles and snack wrappers, hedged by a pile of clothes.

"Is this what you do all day?" Jimin asked him, his eyes scanning the rest of his room. On top of his dresser and desk were dirty dishes and cups. 

"No, I just come here to throw my stuff in everyday and sleep in the streets like any other sane person." Taehyung splayed himself onto his bed as he waited for his game to load. Once on the home screen he said, "Now if you could excuse me, I have some business to attend to."

Jimin shook his head, watching Taehyung as he delved into a virtual world eons away from the present.

❀

Jungkook took up smoking when he was sixteen. He was young and impressionable and surrounded by older guys who spent their time away from the studio in a dingy back alley with skinny sticks of carcinogens between their lips. So it o